Ok so long story short, I accidentally shit myself in my car and my back seat is covered in wet diarrhea. It's probably dry by now since it happened last night but the smell is unbearable. What do I gotta do to get the shit out of my seats?
I am NEVER buying a car with cloth seats again, that's for sure
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I bet you bought the car with pre-farted seats huh?
i know exactly how to resolve this in the least disgusting way possible
but first you have to tell me how you managed to shit in your back seat
Well, congratulations on your new track car, rip the whole interior out and never look back because that shit is never coming out.
Literally.
Toss the seat and buy one from the junkyard. You're never getting that out.
thats not chocolate
Drive to car wash after unbolting your rear seat completely, and bring upholstery cleaner.
Clean the fuck out of the seat, then bring it home and leave it out in all weathers for a week.
That should do it and you can use dye or a seat cover if there's still a stain. If seat fades, upholstery dye is your friend.
We did this at da used car lot with plenty of somewhat bloody salvaged car seats in otherwise good condition.
Wait a second you shit the BACK seat of YOUR car? What's going on here.
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How do you shit in your own car?
Good God, man.
Someone post the thread where the guy wanted a way to clean out all the blood and shit from his attempt at anal sex with his gf
...
In all honesty OP if you actually did shit in the backseat of your car and it was watery then left it in the car over night you probably aren't going to get the smell out, it'll likely always be there. You should have unbolted the backseat and taken it out as soon as possible. At this point I'd suggest doing what said then leaving the seat outside to air out and when you're not driving your car leave the doors open or the windows down or something while it's in your garage so it'll at least sort of air out
But really how do you shit in your car?
I'll give the short version
>taking girl out on date
>everything goes well
>in a quiet area time to fuck
>its great
>feel a rumble
>windows are cracked so I figure I can let one slip
>big mistake
>it's wet shit and I can't shut the flow off after its started
>she is clearly disgusted and walks home
Essentially it was the meme where the guy came and started farting, except I never got to the cumming part.
Thanks for the advice though everyone, I'll walk to the store and get some cleaning stuff right now
What car?
It was a good thread and I liked it
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It's a dangerous game to gamble with a fart when others are present. I hope you learned thus valuable life lesson
Is... Is that a dog with diarrhea riding a roomba while he shits?
That is so fucking funny.
What the fuck user?
What he said OP
wait till its fully dry and first fold down the back of the seat
then remove the entire seat via the bolts on the pivot point
the seat portion should just be snapped into place so pop that out and throw all of it away
buy new seats from a similar model from a junk yard
my boyfriend and i agree that was really terrible of that girl to just leave, she should have at least stayed and helped you its the right thing to do
You are screwed. Ozone can remove smells but if serious it will be too far gone.
The back seat will literally lift out. Usually just needs a firm tug, sometimes there is a small pull tab, both would be located under the center of the seats.
Dog shit on the floor and the roomba dragged it around
still funny. I laughed for a few solid minutes.
I tried to laugh but instead I feel sorry.
So update, you guys were right, the seat came right out with little effort. Still a bit on the floors i gotta scrub out, but this has immensely improved the situation.
Is a 2003 Accord something I'd run across at a junkyard? Or is it too modern?
call around local scrap yards. Surely someone in the area has rear ended and accord.
it also matters if yours is a 2 door or 4 door since the Accord was offered as both and the rear seats are not interchangeable.
you should have no problem finding what you need, please dont be that cuck that doesnt try to negociate to get a better deal
also like i said earlyer the girl SHOULD have stayed and tried to help you, its the right thing to do
it'll be ok
also stop shitting in cars
Look on Craigslist or eBay
>gay man
>having any idea what a woman should do
Rent a carpet shampooer. Removing the carpet is no small task and scrubbing by hand sucks.
There will almost certainly be an accord at a junk yard.
What fucking luck, the first one I called has what I need and in the right color too. And it costs much less than I expected. And it's a 4 door and the seat is from a 4 door so I'm all good there. Now I won't have to make up a story for people asking why the back seat doesn't match. I'm right on track from erasing this event from ever happening, if only there was something I could do to bleach the memories
Are you getting a second date?
Alright, listen here cocksucka you find a detailer that uses a steam cleaner for interior cleaning and tell him your dog shit in backseat when taking to vet. You are welcome
Invest in a buttplug next time you buy a car
This reminds me of the time I knew a guy whose wife gave birth in the backseat of his shitbox
Despite us all telling him to just give up on the car, he wouldn't. Bought all the cleaners in the world, spent weeks cleaning that thing.
I think he just used the excuse of needing a bigger car when he finally got rid of it. Pretty sure he could no longer stand the smell of shit, urine, mysterious secretions, and amniotic fluid.
>tfw my mom always tells the story that when I was about to be born my dad made her ride in the piece of shit Bronco they had that was completely rusted out just in case something like this happened
>he knows I silently approve of not ruining the new car they had and my mom is just whining
Im in tears
Thank you OP
When i shat myself on my bed (i had really bad food poisoning) i used karcher steam cleaner. Hot vapor really got rid of the stink and helped to clean the cloth. Though additional washing migh be required.
Also you can just go to the car wash and order interior cleaning, they got all the tools for this. Just say your child shat himself.
I am surprised by the ammount of faggots who think shit is something you can't get rid of.
Hot steam doing miracles.
It's not ptomaine for god's sake.
Even without shitting yourself, you:
>Farted in a car
>That had other people in it
>It was a girl
>Who was having sex with you
How did you think that was a good idea?
Did you think the fart would just go straight out of the small opening like there were vents sucking it out (instead of it just propagating in the mostly closed space)?
You have obviously never farted while having sex. I do it from time to time.
>Stop thrusting
>Make concerned face
>She looks up at you
>"user, are you ok?"
>Scream "ENGAGE THRUSTERS!"
>Thrust as hard as possible
>Squeeze abdomen and tear ass
>Do not relent until the fart is complete
>Pretend to deflate
It's not worth doing every time because she'll escape, or start laughing uncontrollably and make things even more awkward.
But damn, it sure is good for a bucket list. I do it once a month.
What in the holy fuck did I just read
>my boyfriend and i agree that was really terrible of that girl to just leave, she should have at least stayed and helped you its the right thing to do
Lol what?
Veeky Forums has a surprising amount of openly gay posters, including Inu, Stolen Recaros, and, unfortunately, Alphonse
>I am NEVER buying a car with cloth seats again, that's for sure
Why is this a concern? Clearly this isn't a first offense if that's the case. What aren't you telling us op?
Well if he had leather seats the shit would have been easily wiped away with a Clorox wipe
>this is your average honda driver
holy fuck lmfao
My initial thought was that this is some top tier spagetti, but then I realized this can happen to anyone.
Backseat fucking requires angles that'll put pressure where you might not want it.
I don't even find it funny, I just find it immensely sad. OP can never even see the girl in question at all, let alone her friends, without bottomless shame.
Cause you can be gay and still like cars. So you know if you like dick that's cool, not for me but ill talk to you about cars
Dang dude.
Story story is you cant
Gut the interior, get the rear seat upholstered or get a used one from the wreckers
saved
holy god my sides
hhahahaah holy shit
>bottomless shame
>Honda drivers
You retards always call everyone haters then threads like this happen every week
I own an S2K and have only shit myself on the front seat
Include me in screenshot. Hi r/Veeky Forums!
>in a quiet area time to fuck
>I figure I can let one slip
Hindsight is 20/20 I guess
So since the thread is still here I have an update. A friend let borrow their carpet steam cleaner and that thing is amazing. Took the shit stains out of the carpet, and made my junkyard seat look brand new. I figured since I was in the neighborhood I'd do the whole interior, and now the whole inside looks brand new. The shit smell is still there a little though so I got one of those smelly trees from the gas station, says to only take it part way out of the pack, but I figured dire situations call for the whole thing. Can smell that thing from outside the car now.
I think everything is gonna be ok. As long as the girl never brings it up and my friend I borrowed the cleaner from doesn't press the story I gave him any further, I shouldn't have any worries
Go tell the girl that you had some bad seafood and got food poisoning.
Go for a second date.
how many farts did OP have locked n' loaded?
THIS
OP you've already done the damage but if she says yes to you again then you're an invincible hero
Apparently just one huge wet one
Got a pic of the seat?
>cover some girl in shit
>yea she is probably up for that second date
Veeky Forums everyone
>Alphonse
Gay isn't a strong enough word for that...thing
please god this
this thread is already legendary
Hahaha EPIC xD can't wait to repost this on reddit :)
Voting for archive
user who occasionally trips here
You better be joking
While this is hilarious, my headcannon where you shit so hard while driving you blasted assbutter though the driver's seat into the back seat was much funnier
wut
How would that work? If that happened it would have ended up on the floor under the drivers seat
>assbutter
My sides
What is wrong with you?
I laughed so hard at this fucking lol
maybe she is Jewish or German?
I've only ever shit in the hatch of my RSX, thank you very much.
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>It's not worth doing every time because she'll escape
>she'll escape
>ENGAGE THRUSTERS
>Pretend to deflate
...
Well I had a good laugh today
The moral of this story is never trust a fart
>The moral of this story is never trust a fart
Or don't eat partially spoiled food prior to a date. By now, most people know not to eat something that gives them the runs before a date. Or to sleep with the tummy exposed to a cold room when asleep.
I just saw him in King Cobra. His acting was top notch. Loved that movie.
My ex wife gave birth to my daughter in my old truck in front of the emergency room doors. We just didn't make it in time. The nurses were awesome and tried to clean it but in daylight the next day it still looked like there was a murder in there. So the hospital staff raised 100 dollars for a Delta Sonic gift card and gave it to us, I of course had to explain the whole bloody mess thing to them and they put something on facebook, one of the local news stations caught wind of it and interviewed us at the hospital. It was kind of cool. Then my wife wrecked the truck a few weeks later.
Better not be fucking American
>mart sharter triggered
That was my first thought, "Is that dog summoning Satan?"
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Time for a trip to the dollar store:
youtube.com
>tfw you have some intestinal disorder so you can never trust a fart because 90% of the time it's accompanied by liquid shit
>can't afford doctor visits to fix it
>minor inconvenience except the days you eat something that makes you gassy and then you have to hold them in and still run to the bathroom every 30 minutes
On the plus side I have incredible core strength from my abdominal muscles being tensed all the time
Woo this was a good read.
Here I am at work trying to take a shit, and it literally would not come out. Then I got to the post from op telling the story of what happened and continued to the assblaster thrust post. By then I was laughing so hard that the shit cement that was blocking my entire intestine rocketed loose in a thunderous flap followed by a liquid sploosh. After a few aftermath flops and slops I was clear. Thanks op!
There is still hope for Veeky Forums
FINAL SOLUTION
>trying to let out a fart during sex
>ever
you reaped your own destruction OP
>As long as the girl never brings it up
Everyone she knows has already told the story at least once.