Resume Thread

Why is there a massive gap in your work history?

>Also does anyone know if this was real?
Don't know if it's real.

I worked for a guy many years ago who could only be described as "eccentric". He used to advertise his business wearing a sandwich board.

He was hiring a marketing person and one guy sent his resume in the size and shape of a sandwich board. Boss was impressed but guy didn't get hired. Another guy sent his resume in on fluorescent orange paper.

Look at the education section

Are these people what you would call "risk takers" or just aspie fucks?

Fucking atrocious. That format is terrible.

recommend a better one.

The sandwich board resume tailored to the eccentric guy who uses sandwich boards is a move I respect. If you get the feeling a firm's culture lends itself to that sort of thing, go for it

>tfw this guy with serious autism is way more qualified than me
How can I even cope?

No matter how good you are, there's an autist that's better. Never forget.

mine is just a quick and to the point list of all my accomplishments

no 28px name or icons

just a fucking resume that you grab, see two pages of work history and then the other shit that does not matter at that point.

>two pages

Brony or not, that's still a pretty decent resume..

Critique is always welcome.

Just my general resume and have tailored ones but looking to get into consultancy/private equity/general managment traineeships.

There is a second page which includes some modeling, language and programming skills.

I’m 23 and I’ve thought about leaving my job as a server and also thought about taking a break from school for a while. I was a NEET for a while, but I managed to kinda turn my life around. I’m doing bad in school because my depression is back and really fucking me up. I thought about just working in a hospital as a desk monkey. If I get the job I will get paid more and I will get more hrs. So I guess it better than working in a restaurant.
I'm just scared it will fuck up my mental gains. It seems like a boring job, but I really do need more money, so I kind of need the job. The problem is that I have no experience working at a desk job. I only have experience working in a restaurant. The requirements to get the job are pretty low, but I just want to make myself stand out with my resume.
Here is my resume.
Would you guys hire me or give me some tips on how to improve my resume?

>is from San Francisco

It's probably real.

>accounting

Not even once.

you spelled honors wrong you fucking idiot

Yeah I know. I hate it

But would you say that this is somewhat impressive for a simple desk job at a hospital?

>fluorescent
>orange
>paper
>resume

must resist.png

Am from San Francisco.

Can confirm.

>1655773
rug.nl/education/honours-college/?lang=en

Clearly. American vs british you dipshit ;)

Sure, but you don't even need a degree for that shit. Desk jobs are traditionally horrible unless you're a thinker or decision maker.

Cool.

I have been thinking about taking a break from school, so what would I put on my resume if I didn't finish my degree?

also my gpa will probably suffer after this semester. If it falls below a 3.0 and I don't put it down, will that make me look really bad?

If it falls below a 3.0, do not put it on your resume. It's that simple.

Also, I would add how terrible of an idea it would be for you to drop out of college. Life without a degree is going to offer you significantly less career opportunities and cash on hand. Unless you have money to invest or start your own business you're limiting your career choices and making a terrible decision. Finish school and stop being so lazy.

You may even want to consider getting an MBA with how saturated the market is with business degrees.

...

don't put your GPA on your resume unelss it's impressive. Most places will never ask

This is why you don't use tacky resume templates. It makes it hard to read. Redo it in vertical form and get rid of all those stupid icons.

>his shit-resume is one page
you are small time

This. Maybe if you were printing out the resume and handing it in in person it would be fine. But submitting that online would have many format issues and would go straight in the trash. As a HR cuck I can't stand formatted resumes like this. Just put your name contact info work experience and education. I don't care about your "skills" or GPA.

I'll greentext my basic resume
>20 yrs old Junior
>*top 20* United States University
>Actuarial Mathematics
>2.2 cumulative GPA (inb4 GPA sux no1 will hire)
>Exams passed: P & FM
>2000 SAT
>Random shit I know how to do at at least intermediate level: Excel, C++, java, Matlab, Minitab, r, sas, etc... know a bunch of shit about finance.
>Work experience: unimpressive position in food service
>140 IQ
>various athletic achievements
>various volunteer work I can throw in there
Any feedback or advice would be helpful

What is HR like?
also this is meIs this something you would like to see?

Sorry, we need someone who speaks English.

is the "secret white font key words" just a meme or does it actually work?

Take your IQ and SAT off, that is some autistic bullshit to pride yourself on and hiring managers will only roll their eyes at you. Your GPA is low, don't include that either. If companies ask then don't lie about your grades, but don't be forthcoming with the info.

Your shit is pretty bare desu user, get an internship/co-op, preferably this Summer. It's good that you're at a decent school, their career department will hopefully be able to help set you up with interviews.

Please, for God's sake, don't include your IQ on a resume. You also should leave off your low GPA and your SAT scores

my nigga

>2.2 GPA
>140 IQ

Something just don't add up boys.

Too much time spent on things that didn't matter

Nobody cares about GPA. Everybody has a degree And a GPA. Put actual shit that is impressive like president of a club or a school project that was successful. And a major is a broad term. Put what you specialized in. Like any specific courses in auditing or jacking off to porn. Hundreds of people apply with an accounting degree. What accounting did you specialize in?

Smart but lazy

Then why would I want to hire you?

I can't change the past, so I'm looking for advice for the future that was the point of my post

Well I never finished my accounting courses. I really don't like my major which is why I thought about taking a break from school. I saw a few hospital desk positions being available, so I thought applying to there. I don't need a degree for the job, but it says that I need some experience in the office area.

Since I don't have any I'm trying to make myself seem like a good fit with my resume.

It looks like you don't have much of a future. You claim you to have a 140 IQ as if people are supposed to be impressed by that, yet you are a clueless fuck up.

Just get some mindless warehouse job as that looks like all you will ever be good for.

Get work experience by any means necessary because right now your resume makes you look lazy and unemployable.

They always say this or that to weed out the degenerate. We say we require 5 years experience in positions that are basically entry level just so the cry babies and man childs don't apply.

Apply to places.
Wait a day or two.
Call and ask for HR or hiring manager about application questions.
Tell them you applied and were wondering if they reviewed it and when interviews start.
99% of the time they will schedule an interview or tell you that interview stages hasn't begun and will tell you when. They will ask for your name and number but 90% of the time they lose it or never write it down to begin with. So just call back when they said interviews were starting.
When at the interview just be elaborate. Describe things in details. They don't have to be perfect answers, but they should be more than a spoken sentence or two with um being the every 3rd word.
When the interview is over and they ask if you have any questions, ask them how your application looked and how the interview went. Let them know you're situation and how they can approve. They'll always give you a few pointers. Take those and try another interview until you get hired.

I was 22 and have only ever worked at temp agencies because I sucked at interviews. They all knew me and eventually they asked if I wanted to work in the office. Being a virgin autist around a bunch of HR girls coaching me to become sociable was a weird experience but once I wouldn't want to take away. You just got to do it.

I'm pretty aspie when it comes to interviews and just talking to normal people about serious topics. How off putting is it to interview someone who is painfully nervous?

There is also an entry lvl HR assistance position open near me too. Should I also go for it?

whats with all the ponies and gay font

> one bullet for each language
> one bullet for all software

wtf

> putting down Excel on your resume

wtf

Literally zero design in this shows a severe lacking of creativity.

>only have ~125 IQ
>also have ADHD, which wasn't medicated or even diagnosed until a few months ago
>still managed a 3.2 GPA in a STEM field
I thought I was a fuck up but you made me feel a lot better.
Thanks for being a loser, user.

You need to pump up your GPA kiddo

take some easy courses to pad it

> Additional Information
Wtf is this shit
> US Citizen
wtf

this is supreme levels of autism

> 3.33 gpa graduate
> 6 figure salary after 3 years working
I havent measure my IQ because Im not autistic

I thought adding tech skills was a good thing. Yeah I don't why I added the US citizen part.

Just what i needed

I'm a college freshman making $45/hr doing serious programming. Rate and hate guys.

I have 2.0 GPA because I'm too busy doing everything else.

Get rid of those stupid fonts. And get rid of your high school diploma info, if you're in college already then no one cares about your high school. And get rid of those "what I learned" parts -- that shit belongs in your cover letter, not your resume. You are also traditionally not supposed to use articles like a, an, the, etc. in resumes. You also have some useless information that says nothing like "worked in small group of three" -- find a way to say that that will actually demonstrate something of value. You may be smart in some things, but you are shit at actually conveying the kind of information hiring managers want to see.

In general your resume could be formatted for easer reading, like moving dates and locations to the right margin.

Not horrible for a teenager, I've seen a worse resumes from people who are c-level executives at fortune 500 companies.

He is a freshman in college, his high school record is absolutely relevant

I also have several scientific publications that I used to have on here, but they make it more than one page, so I removed em

I also have no idea how or if I should include coursework on here. I typically think of it as something you tailor to individual positions you apply for

No it's not. If he is in college, then surely he has already graduated high school. Nobody cares what high school people went to. I've worked in HR, recruitment, talent acquisition, and career consulting. There's no reason to put a HS diploma on your resume unless that is your highest level of academic attainment

What if he went to a local elite STEM school that everyone has heard of?

The would be plenty of room if you got rod of useless stuff like high school and all that extra white space between the heading and the body. You can also play with the leading to make more space. Just make another heading called "Selected Publications."

And please don't use colored font. There is literally no reason to use colors on a god damn resume.

I would think his other accomplishments would speak for themselves. There are very, very few good reasons to include high school if you already have higher education experience.

Have you even bothered to proof this? You have careless spelling and grammar mistakes, and the haphazard way you capitalize and indent is fucking driving me crazy

Are you even trying? This looks like you made this in 20 minutes at your library.
Also
>"orchestrate a marathon"
What is this fuckery? This is an insult to the English language.
>tapping a touchscreen counts as communicating with kitchen staff
>improve performance by having coworkers
You're hitting all the wrong points here. They don't want to learn about fucking POS or you working with coworkers. They want you to expand on customer service, being trusted with cash, taking initiative and trying not to be an autist. Go to your career center and ask for help reviewing your resume. Ask the best writer you know to help you improve it, even if you're embarrassed.
And go out and do more shit. Tax season is coming and VITA will be available. Go volunteer for VITA; it is enormously helpful for Accounting majors.
Join the accounting society and network your ass off. Work an internship. Even the hospital administration desk will be more relevant experience than being a host.

>there are very, very few good reasons to include high school
This is pretty fucking true. I went to a national top 30 public school in the US that has a 4% acceptance rate and I don't put that on my fucking resume because no one gives a fuck about that.

I'm conflicted on this because your formatting is obviously tailored towards programmers but it still looks terrible to me. Also, why don't you include more about your internship experience, or research assistant position? Get rid of those "I learned..." crap because it should already be evident in your bullet points, and those are questions your interviewer will ask you. A resume is not a place for you to answer them.

>he puts his IQ and SAT scores on his resume
>shit tier GPA
I would immediately throw out your resume and block your email. The only people who puts those things on their resumes are neckbeard fedora faggot retards who are "Le smart but lazy". You are anything but. I scored 2.2k on my first try and didn't bother taking it again, and I considered myself an underachiever at the time. If you wanna brag about your IQ, get a fucking MacArthur grant.

Expand your margins and get rid of your high school experience.
Also, I don't think you should be using "internship" to describe a research assistant position.
Why the fuck aren't you using bullet points for your leadership and activities experiences. And why do you phrase it that way? Leadership and activities?
Go to the career center and ask for help improving your resume. Columbia has a good one I've heard. Congratulations, you are one step above the average cuck here. Apply yourself and you'll go places. I suggest you join the Engineering society or honors frat if you can. You can put those on your resume. Networking is incredibly important. That's why you go to a good school. It's not the education; it's the networking opportunities.

>That's why you go to a good school. It's not the education; it's the networking opportunities
Could you expand on that? I just don't get how networking works. Do you meet recruiters that hand you jobs(hehe) or future coworkers or what the fuck does it mean nigga

Took me a long time to get used to it but networking is literally talking to successful people and potential successful people. They can literally get you a job if they like you enough. When you get the power one day, you will also have that ability. Just suck mad dick and be a person people like to talk to.

>. Go to your career center and ask for help reviewing your resume.

I did and they said it was fine.
Also you didn't read my post. I said that I didn't like my accounting major, so why would I try and go work in the accounting field?

If there's multiple applicants with the same qualification and I was a a recruiter with limited resources, I'd invite the ones with a more readable CV. Also it's showing that you lack real relevant experience because you include a lot of irrelevant bullshit at the bottom, but at least you show you're engaged

I guess the idea was if you have no skills of value to the employer you just proof your creativity? However this is not a good or convincing attempt for most positions...

Your work experience is good, but don't comment on everything again. It should be self explanatory and at least in Germany you'll have the letter of motivation for this. Why include what courses you have at university? No one cares... Also you also named your skills before...

So do you mean I should make it more readable? In what way?

On the lack of experience you're right. I'm Dutch though and honestly the people who do internships here are 1 in 100. Not having relevant work exeperience is very common hence me including other stuff that atleast shows some kind of engagment.
The board year is actually a lot of work and one of the things recruiters love here in the netherlands.

Any practical feedback on layout/shit is appreciated!

u dont have adhd if ur gpa is 3.2. ppl with adhd have poor cognitive function, poor planning, poor everything man even debt

>google sonic resume deviantart
>please god please god please god
>nothing
>damn

I'm going to start applying to jobs in Poland (currently in the us army) and I was wondering what differences to comply with when it comes to their resumes. It seems common that not just there but in most of Europe they like to have cheesy shit like a photo of yourself on the top right corner.

fuck me up

How do you put text both on the left (job title) AND right-aligned (for the years worked) in the same line without using the tab/space button?

I space/tabbed it. It was super fucky trying to get the distances correct because Google Docs and PDF Reader didn't have the same formatting. Kind of think that fucked me over for a few weeks' worth of applications.

...

No skills and bunch of retarded activities

Typical woman

Im sure HR will love you

To give you closure: this is what you make when you are getting unemployment, your state/government has a rule that you actually have to attempt to apply and also can't turn down a job offer, but you are a piece of shit and don't actually want to work and run out the unemployment. So you make the worst possible resume that screams "do not hire me", but isn't just a 72 pt "fuck you" to make them not try to challenge that you aren't fucking trying.

No one gives a fuck about high school.
Also you might want to put your current GPA for college unless it's under 3.0

I think in Australia the GPA equivalent is WAM, mine is kinda mediocre. At the moment I'm trying to just apply for any random job I can come across but even the post office is turning me down ;_;. Does it seem like I'm overqualified?

>achievements is basically what youre suppose ot do
i wouldnt put achievements at all since the things you listed are supposed to be expected in any work scenario; just tie it into responsibilities

high school irrelevant since youre already in college

you were a PR assistant for 4 years, you can list that under professional experience paid or not

your native language goes first (should be removed if job does not consider languages)

Work experience and education first, then skills and then a very condensed part that shows your engagement (activities). You're not there to fill as much space as possible but to present the most valuable information to the recruiter. Listing useless line fillers is not getting you anything because he will only read the first 2 lines.

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