That, six bullets, one time machine

That, six bullets, one time machine.

What's the plan, Veeky Forums?

Me? I shoot Karl Marx in the head six times. Just to be sure.

shoot my 6 unconsented childrens mothers in the head at conception

Darwin's done more damage than Marx.

Killing Darwin just makes it so someone else figures out evolution.

don't you believe in evolution, fatso?

>i want to go back in time and shoot X for disagreeing with me

Epitome of autism.

there´s still Engels and you would accomplish nothing

>wanting to save hundreds of millions of lives is autistic
Hey Coldsteel

Shoot Hegel instead, then you don't have to bother with Marx.

>implying millions of people wouldn't die for some other reason
>ignore the billions of preventable deaths from disease and war becuase muh commies

And here i thought socialists were retarded with their wishful thinking.

Forget killing six historical villains, who would you kill just to make things interesting?

>Franz Ferdinand
If I kill him in his home where they have no clue who did it, what would they conclude? Would the first world war still break out over something else?

>Adolf Hitler in 1940
Who would he have appointed by now? If a general took over, would there be fewer stupid mistakes on the Nazis part? Would they win?

>James Earl Ray
Mainly because I want to see what MLK would have to say about modern race relations.

That's all I can think of now.

>thinks you can stop disease with a revolver
Leaving aside the moral cowardice of your argument (do nothing because reasons) how exactly is a man armed with a Colt Single Action going to stop all disease?

Kill the patient zeroes.

shieeettt

Mein Nigga

You forgot Engels retard, and most of the other socialists and anarchists

Shoot Karl Marx, whatever dickweed, I dunno.. prophet Muhammad fellow, George Washington, Maggie Thatcher and finally Oliver Cromwell.

>the 6 people responsible for ending monarchy

I'd travel to January, 1942 and shoot;

>Stalin
>Hitler
>Hirohito
>Churchill
>Roosevelt
>Monty

>Monty
aw
i liked monty
fuck churchill though, I don't understand why he gets so much credit. He did autistic stuff like gallipoli, or advocating the use of machine-guns as a means of stopping striking miners

With Franz Ferdinand dead the AH empire will definatly go to war.
He was the main proponent for peace in the empire. With his death the AH empire would have had a war over something else.

>Engels
That manlet wouldn't have been able to achieve what Marx did. Every leftie drools over Marx. Most of them don't know who Engels is. Marx was a sharper writer and his work had more appeal

Hitler, Sokal, Bricmont, Reagan, Thatcher, Bush Jr

He had a better beard than marx tho

Undeniably true

>Moses
>Jesus
>Jesus 3 days later
>Mohhamed
>Budha
>Confucius

Are you listing people with better beards than Marx?

he did pay Marx rent and groceries though

I misquoted but at least some of them must have had better beards.

Kill moot

give it to the romans and tell them to make more

Hillary 8 years ago
Osama bin Laden in 1998
Marx
Mohammed

Your mother and father, three bullets each so you wouldn't shit up this board further with threads like this.

Edgy. Go make some other thread then you crying bitch

>calling others edgy
>when the thread is about killing people in the past who disagreed with you

pssh... nothing personal kid

I'd shoot any of the people involved in the start of x religion

The fact you seem to think you have an inherent right to police an anonymous internet board is quite telling. Instead of merely ignoring the thread, or using the hide function, you chose to come here and cry about your offended sensibilities. You tried to dress it up but all you achieved there was to come off as an edgy pre-teen.

I assume this pathetic sort of behaviour is something you come across quite a bit in your internet browsing as you seem to think it is normal to try an appear as a janitor.

This isn't your home reddit. Crying about things you dislike won't make them go away. Trying to hide being butthurt behibd edginess won't work. Aspiring to being staff gets you rightly laughed at.

Tl;dr - Go back 2 reddit

It goes deeper than Marx. I'd probably kill Hegel.

The first 6 Roman Emperors. I will make them understand, its republicanism or death.

>being this mad

I wouldn't shoot anyone since there would be a chance i would not be born if they never did what they did.

Especially Hitler, if it wasn't for the War most of our Grandparents and parents would never have met.

He's right. Fuck off to ribbet.

This

Marx
Hitler
Stalin
Osama Bin Laden
George W. Bush
Lee Harvey Oswald

>le epic /pol/ bait

You got rekt

No need for a time machine OP. All six will fit nicely in your skull and mine.

It sounds more like you can't handle the banter, no matter how shitty of banter it is. You either stand for Veeky Forums culture or you don't. It has nothing to do with political leanings.

Go back to /r/The_Donald. I'm almost positive Veeky Forums has seen an uptick in activity ever since that fucking place was spawned. All you fucking plebbitors need to go back, including the /pol/ band-wagoners.

There's a pretty extensive literature on how to control spreading processes on networks by removing nodes

Patients zero, surely

Shoot the time machine five times, then shoot myself in the head

If you answer any differently you should FUCK OFF back to r/Veeky Forums.

>Aspiring to being staff gets you rightly laughed at.

Boy does it, No. 1659054

>you can't handle the banter
>redditor cries on thread because it offends him

Since when is aspiring to be a fucking janny Veeky Forums culture you mongolian? I guarantee you you started browsing this board in 2013-14.

Bullet 1: June 17 1462, Mehmed II's head.

Bullet 2 - 6: Any Ottoman Sultan who gains the throne for more than a year.

Travel a few hundred years into the future, sell gun as a priceless antique and live a life of luxury with better tech than we have now.

>thinking killing JER would keep MLK alive
youd need enough bullets to take out the entire CIA user

Kek. Now this guy is fucking thinking

I would shoot the one person I would ever want to kill
myself

Nice try redditor. Claiming you stand for Veeky Forums culture? You wouldn't know what that was if it kicked you in your cunt. Nothing to do with politics then whinge about /pol/ out of nowhere?

I might not agree with /pol/ about basically anything but they do one thing well - trigger reddit plebs

When the fuck will this red scare end?

>being a retard to """trigger""" """"redditors""""
>ha that's what Veeky Forums's all about

Yes Veeky Forums is well known for its high quality intellectual debate and discussion. We're so lucky to have such a well behaved, highly educated userbase.

Go back to rëddit

Pope Leo I before his meeting with Attila
>inb4 Attila had x, y, z reason for turning away anyways

I propose a Final Solution to the redditor question

Not even that person, retards. Go back to /b/.

I guaran-fucking-tee I've been here longer than any of you. It's a pathetic day when kids who probably think /pol/ is an original 2003 board start claiming superiority over other anons because of perceived political beliefs. You don't own this fucking site and you never will. Suck my fucking dick.

It'll end when the right-wing plebbitors that are now claiming Veeky Forums as their personal safe space and trying to rewrite history will either leave this site or just stay in their containment board.

>he's still crying about /pol/
There's no-one here talking about politics except you. For no fucking reason you started sperging out about your "internet enemies". Get off the fucking website and go outside you cum guzzling cunt your brain is melted

What are you on about? For a self-professed oldfag you're acting like a baby. Veeky Forums is counter-culture. When Bush was in and the zeitgeist was right it pushed left. Now leftists are in charge it pulls right. If Trump wins this place will go further left than Lenin.

Incidentally bragging about how long you've spent here is pathetic.

>you don't own this site
>i do!

Talking about safe spaces after a triggered rant about how people he disagrees with must go away. Irony 101.

>Mussolini becomes Master of the World (tm)

Osman I, Mehmet II, Suliman the Magnificant, Darius I, Cyrus The Great, Xerxes

Abraham. Kill Judaism, Christianity and Islam (and their various spin-offs) with one bullet.

>No1
Mohammed. No dispute a terrible force or evil upon the world, killing him before he started his career as a false prophet should be easy enough because we have good data on his life.
>2
Moses. This might be harder, since he's probably mythical. If he didn't exist, then I shoot Abraham instead, and if HE didn't exist I track down whoever really started Yahwehism and shoot him.
>3
Akechi Mitsuhide. In forcing Nobunaga to seppuku, Mitsuhide indirectly lead to the closing of Japan and the botched invasion of Korea, Nobunaga would either have won the war there or not gone in, and he was very outward-looking. Under his guidance Japan could have joined the club of developed nations much sooner and less traumatically.
>4
Cassander. Alexander's empire may have fallen apart anyway, but a special place in Hell should be reserved for this asshole, who's petty ambition not only ensured Alexander's empire would crumble but also ended his bloodline.
>5
Sargon of Akkad. Not the fat youtuber, the Akkadian king. He built the first empire in mesopotamia (and, therefore, the world) but he did it on an Akkadian (Semitic) basis, initiating the long decline of the Sumerians. Without him, Sumer would still have been unified (Sargon's predecessor unified Sumeria before his death, like Phillip of Macedon and Alexander) but it's unique culture would have survived longer and maybe had a wider influence (although ofc Sumeria is overwhelmingly influential anyway).
>6
Bismarck. Without him, the Germans would have unified eventually anyway, but under the influence of Hannover or Austria, and not the ultra-militaristic Prussians. Such a regime may have felt less of a need for the aggressive posturing and empire-building that preoccupied the status-conscious Prussians and that lead to all kinds of foolishness.

Marx
Engels
Genghis Khan
Timur
Mohammad
Mehmed II

>Marx
>Engels

You only need one of them.

>Mohammad
>Mehmed II

Without Mohammed, Mehmed would be remembered as one of the great Turkish Caesars.

>Genghis Khan
>Timur

Arguably you won't get Timur without Genghis, but OTOH some kind of steppe-based empire was probably inevitable and there are actually races more cruel than the Mongols.

>t.hellene

>You only need one of them.
just in case
>Without Mohammed, Mehmed would be remembered as one of the great Turkish Caesars.
>Arguably you won't get Timur without Genghis, but OTOH some kind of steppe-based empire was probably inevitable and there are actually races more cruel than the Mongols
Anything should be done to rid the world from the pest which steppe and central asian people are

I would go back 1 day and shoot you, so you don't make this thread.

Then i would shoot the rest of your family, just to be sure the retardation doesn't spread.

>Anything should be done to rid the world from the pest which steppe and central asian people are

Simple: Find the ancestor of the horse and shoot it. That would slow down global development, but it would spare advanced civilisation the series of hard reboots the incursions of steppe "people" historically have brought, tanks to the force multiplier of the horse.

Also might want to find and kill the first camel too, they're no horse but you /can/ fight from them, especially with a bow.

Travel to the begginning of time and shoot all six bullets to make one big bang

Just a nitpick but at the beginning of time, space was infinitesimally small, so you might have trouble holding your gun.

This thread is more fun to approach from a curiosity perspective than a "making the world a better place" perspective.

>shoot jesus at birth

I'm genuinely curious how western civilization would have developed without his influence. What moral values would we hold today? Would we invent the same ones under a different name? Or would an entirely new moral system come about?

>kill FDR and/or Churchill

What if the Nazis won? It's hard to even imagine what the world would look like. It looks like a dystopia to me. I really wonder how things would have played out.

>Not doing nothing, because one can not calculate the incalculable amount of alternate events that would have been triggered if they killed a specific individual in the past.
Sorry OP, I don't want to find out if the butterfly effect is true or not.

>kill Engels
>Marx starves
>two birds with one stone

The butterfly effect is somewhat bullshit, unless you think that the things you like about the present were highly unlikely, and the things you dislike highly likely.

Otherwise, how can you make actions in the present, when every single one will have a ripple effect in the future?

The butterfly effect is only meaningful if you're planning on going back to the present, because there's a good chance your family/friends would not exist anymore.

>What moral values would we hold today?

Our moral values have almost nothing to do with Jesus, they're chiefly from Greece and Rome. With no Jesus, we'd lack negative tropes towards faggots and divorcees but aside from that ti would be the same.

If a time machine exists then it can't be. QED.

>the guy who invented the time machine
>the guy who invented the revolver
>the guy who sent me on the mission

>samefagging this hard
You've already been told where to go.

Alfred Russell Wallace would've just figured it out.

Bullshit. Our slave morality came directly from Christianity

I don't just believe in something.

1. Karl Marx
2. FDR
3. MLK Jr. but before he was famous
4. Luther
5. Rousseau
6. George Washington before the war

maybe. it might be baked into our genes, user.

stories of whites adopting unrelated orphans are a lot more common than stories of ancient chinese doing so.

also, as bad as christianity could be sometimes, it DID give us essentially, the scientific method via monks and abbots.

Toot!

Races don't differ enough for hem to develop entirely different moral codes based on biology.

If it really is encoded into our genes, we should see slave morality just as prevalent in non-Christian cultures (and to be honest I don't know enough about those to give an answer to that question).

what makes you think we don't differ to that extent though? because we DO have different moral codes

in saudi arabia you can marry your rape victim. it is moral there because they have no way to avoid rape, so they try to cope with it as best they can. that's pretty DIFFERENT.

another example is the pre-bronze age trade in tin. almost 100% of the tin in bronze age greece was mined in northern england and germany, which means that in the absence of roads and centralized government, we had a moral system that prevented raiding enough, so facilitate peaceful trade over a thousand km.

basic TRADE broke down 30 miles inland of coastal anatolia.

that's DIFFERENT.

> Galileo
> Mark Zuckerberg
> Issac Newton
> Ivan the terrible before he reigned
> Prince Felix Yusupov (the man behind Rasputin's death)

> King Xerxes I of persia before war batttle of Thermoplae
> German General Erwin Rommel
> Bismark
> Thomas Jefferson

C'mon Mark Zuckerberg would be awesome to see how things would play out.
> Kim Il Sung