Fuck BMW

My coolant hose just blew when i was pulling into my house and my engine is covered in coolant. How fucked am i?

>E90 320i

RIP

clamp the hose on, take it to the nearest dealership and trade it in for literally anything else

>as I was pulling into my house

You're fine as long as it didn't somehow overheat within a few seconds. Replace your radiator hoses (all of them) and buy new hose clamps, refill and bleed your rad and you're fine.

>320i
>buying the small engine
you dun goofed. it's totaled. send it to the junkyard where it belongs and buy a better car.

I'm gonna get it towed into a shop to get it checked out. After that Im gonna sell it and get a civic. Like legit fuck BMW.

>he actually bought a 320 cuckmobile

even the 328 losers are laughing at you AHAHAHHAA

I know I goofed ok :(

> Hello people how can I solve this problem that relates to automobiles

[328 replies]
> axaxaxa you cuck you deserved it your taste in cars is worse than the rwandan genocide just don't use that car lol try again honey

bump

Hi, i'm derek from brian jessel BMW. I recommend one our handcrafted rope made from stronk german™ fibres. You should know what to do from there. Ask our parts department about instructions how to how unfuck yourself by use of the rope. Use of a chair is advised :^)

why the fuck are you towing it to a shop

pop the hood and clean it up

re-attach the hose

and fill it up with coolant again

man i am getting so tired of this liberal generation not being capable of doing a single fucking thing.

its probably a fucking failed hose clamp man this shit isnt complicated

Don't for don't forget "bleed cooling system" or the engine will go nuclear.

Hi, it's derek again. In addition to what was said, i suggest using German™ proudly bavarian made, cool™ant in order to maximize your cooling abillity. This will ensure that your car runs at its peak. Do not be discouraged by the small displacement, as we all know there is a replacement for displacement. And that is the BMW parts department :^)

>as we all know there is a replacement for displacement. And that is the BMW parts department :^)
Top kek.
>e90 320i
What are you, some yuropoor who is too faggy to know what a hose clamp is?

At first I thought a hose completely split and blew open that's why I was panicking but I checked it out this morning and it was a failed clamp like you guys said. I just recently attatched it, bled the coolant and replaced it. I'm not autistic lol.

Pic related was the hose that came off

>E90 320i
>Fuck BMW
I can see why you would say that.

inb4 you replaced it with pink

Literally everybody in this thread is saying use a clamp. How are you going to use a clamp on a plastic-to-plastic connection? The rubber parts of the coolant system usually out-live the plastic part of the system so they get subsequently replaced before the fail.

Remember, on a BMW, the entire coolant system is a maintenance item.

pic related.

Nah it's green lol. 50/50 with distilled water
Thank you. The clip where the screw driver is came loose

its all good brother. you live and you learn.

its a common failure point in all cars, not just BMW. it happens very frequently in ford cargo vans for some reason. fortunately its not a big deal. you cant overheat modern engines anyway, they all shut off

You'll need a t-stat and waterpump, both of which are electric and are crammed into the front driver's side part of your engine bay.

They're both expensive parts.

BUT, once they're fix, you're fine.

That hose is 'spensive too.

Gal dang BMW, didn't put coolant temp gauges on these cars.

They look like this, btw.

I guess I should note that I'm saying this as it likely burst from overpressure, not from simple failure. And it's something the car doesn't make you super aware of if it happens because you don't have a coolant temp gauge.

Even if it was completely split it's just a fucking hose man. Stop being such a cry baby about little shit. If it was split you could have just ordered the part from the dealer and put it on.
Christ almighty I'm mad

If it wasn't run without coolant, it should be fine. I would tow it to the shop, but I'm paranoid about German cars when I owned them.

If this is an early model E90, t's right around the time where almost everything needs to be replaced. Go to a BMW specialist shop and get a breakdown of what will be needed, and when. And start saving up.

>can't overheat modern engines anyway, they all shut off

One of the few benefits of all the gadgets in modern cars

I might just sell it and get a Honda prelude lmao.
Fuck the hassle and money

Why would you buy a low tier BMW?
Only the high end ones are worth the maintenance and reliability worries.

>modern engines shutoff due to overheating

Oh man, it's frightening that multiple people in this thread believe this simultaneously.