Decide to see what this whole manual meme is all about

>decide to see what this whole manual meme is all about
>I have a friend that's a total Veeky Forums-tist, has a riced out integra with various /osg/ and touhou stickers all over the back
>he's willing to teach me
>i bring my girlfriend along because she's curious about it too
>Me: "Hey user, how's it going?"
>Him: "y-y-you too"
>Me: "lol what??"
>he's kinda awkward but whatever I shrug it off and let my gf in the back while I get into the passenger seat
>Him: "S-s-so In order to get moving, lift your foot up from the clutch pedal until the RPMs drop slightly and apply light pressure to the accelerator. Balance the light downward pressure on the accelerator with slowly releasing pressure on the clutch pedal. You will probably have to do this several times blah blah blah...."
>me and my gf are rolling our eyes
>Me: "Holy shit man haha, we came here to learn how to drive manual, not do rocket science like Preston from Big Bang Theory lol"
>my gf giggles
>friend is getting flustered
>Me: "Haha sorry man, go on"
>Him: "S-so now you take the gear shift knob straight down from 1st gear into the bottom left..."
>Me:"Hold on, what the hell are you doing?"
>Him: "T-t-the gear shift..."
>Me: "Haha you're telling me you have to touch the car's dick to get it moving? Haha just like me, right babe?"
>my gf is now giggling uncontrollably
>friend is getting visibly red and is now starting to tremble and sweat
>I realize this is a waste of time
>Me: "Haha hey man actually you know thanks for taking the time to show us this manual thing but I think we're good, let's just meet up at the movie theatre"
>i can see his lips quivering like he's almost so angry he could cry
>Him:"o-o-ok"
>me and gf ride in my GT-R to the theatre while friend follows behind

I felt kinda bad embarrassing him like that especially since I know he has a crush on my gf so I make it up to him by buying him some popcorn

pic related, it's a pic he actually sent her once. We had a big laugh about it

You sound like a homo, give your girlfriend up. She's cheating anyway

Is this pasta or did you waste your time writing this?

wow OP 10/10 job being a scumbag, how does it feel knowing your gf loves black cock? do you watch?

>3d women

I miss high school.

Yes, I happen to know for a fact she likes BBC

Are you insinuating that you are Usain Bolt?

So you're a nigger who can't drive, with an expensive shitbox.

Kill ur self my man.

I am confident that Usain Bolt does not post on Veeky Forums.

Hahahaha, fucking epic, bro. Yo, add me on Facebook so you can tell me more of your bitchin stories, bro!

hahah bro you rekt that retard
What a faggot drives an FF with a manual bro

Ey yo, where you at, maybe we can go to car meet and you and your gf can wingman for me so I can fuck some bitches, I'll let you ride in my 'vette

>responding to usain bolt on Veeky Forums
>ever
its like you want to be baited

Dude doesn't just know how to run fast. I like Usain Bolt even more now.

>Driving a automatic 4wd boat
>Messing around with girls
You surely is the worlds biggest faggot

Thanks for the kek op u fag

First of all, I didn't stutter at all. You just kept acting like a dumb shit to impress your fat whale girlfriend while I was trying to teach you like you wanted. Just go climb back into your autotragic meme box and I'll enjoy my poorfag Integra.

Top fuckin' kek, lad. 10/10, totally believable.

How can you act so cool about being a total jerk? Just KYS

samefag

Sage'd

Let's get rid of the bullshit OP
>be OP
>gf curious as to why I can't drive manual
>friend is willing to teach me in his integra
>go with gf
>too stupid to understand how to control the clutch
>think shifter is too phallic, I'm actually a closeted homo
>car is filling up with my spaghetti
>give up, play it off as archaic tech
>get back in my Nissan Altima and follow him to theatre

>be OP
>dont have gf or car
>have friend with integra im really jelly
>make shitthread on /o to make me feel better

Haha Milton, I know that's you. Fuck off back to /osg/. Dana says hi

even if it's not intended to be, this is still a decent pasta

7/10, you almost had me going

Fuck you David go back to benchracing
Btw Dana blew me last week behind your back (shit was SO cash)

Daily reminder that anyone who uses "haha" in every other fucking sentence is automatically a faggot and should be dealt with accordingly.

man this pic just reeks tumblr millennials

Probably the latter, and now he's checking the thread every 5 seconds to see if anyone likes his made up story.

This is not real.
Everyone go home.

Well OP, did you figure out how to stop stuttering?

>got a bunch of free tickets to a basketball game
>decide to invite some of my bosses and higher ups so I can rub shoulders with the top dogs
>girlfriend wants to go but I'm busy with the bosses
>i ask integrafriend to pick her up and take her for me
>he enthusiastically agrees
>gf tells me he arrived at her condo with his old integra looking like it was freshly detailed or something
>apparently while driving with her he was blasting Eurobeat and redlining at every gear like its supposed to impress her
>once they arrive at the arena she immediately runs towards where im sitting
>tells me the entire ride there was awkward as fuck for her
>she asks why integrafriend has such a "poor person's" car and why he still drives something that makes you change gears manually
>I tell her not to be rude and that not everyone is blessed to afford nice cars with modern transmissions
>integrafriend is about 2 seats away and pretends not to hear our conversation
>after the game he offers to drive her back home but i just tell him "haha nah I got it from here bro" and wink at him
>me and gf end up fucking in the parking lot

I bought him a t-shirt as a token of appreciation for driving my gf but then he got kinda mad because I got him a small when he's actually a medium apparently, go figure

...

its amazing that your hand can ride in a separate car

>things that didn't happen.op
>people actually taking the bait

>apparently while driving with her he was blasting Eurobeat and redlining at every gear

This is actually how I drive

>Wake up
>See OP's post
>Ate cereal
>Back to bed because lottery winner
>Every day I pray for the sweet release of death