Cuck torture thread

>see cuck driving a prius on the highway
>speed up and get behind him with my high beams
>ride his tail until he pulls over

>Leave summer tires on FR shitbox Crown Vic
>floor that shit everywhere I go
>Go spinning out at every intersection, Mom-cars have to swerve around me
>Driving sideways down mainstreet
>Don't even care when I smash into a parking metre and wreck a door
>cops pull me over
>More like I skid into a crowded sidewalk, and my car pirhouettes elegantly while all the little fucking pedestrian shits run and scream
>Cops deputize me for being a crazy motherfucker
>Here's your complimentary gun and badge, faggot!
>Skid sideways down dark alleys at night, gunning down and running over all the obvious degenerates out walking after dark
>Start a one-man gang-war with Russian ballerina cartel
>my shitty land-barge and their souped up Yugos go head-to-head in drag fights that quickly devolve into automotive break-dancing
>My car is ripped apart, bits of shrapnel flying out and eviscerating the mustacheo'd Soviet bulldykes
>Flywheel flies through dash and cleanly decapitates me
>Ascend to Valhalla
>Me and Odin go ripping mad skids and donuts and shit in Asgard
>Hot, big-titty valkyries all trying to hop on my cock and collect my superior seed
>Odin thinks it'd be the fucking funniest shit if he sent my headless shade back to Earth to continue fucking up the roads for all the little fucking Midgard shits
>I now roam the roads and freeways on icy winter nights, my bald tires screaming like banshees, the remaining three-fifths of an engine held together with witchcraft and friction tape
>Garbled obscenities spouting from my bloody neckstump as I commit wanton acts of vehicular homicide.
>Local decadent hybrid degenerates have a cult in my worship and frequently torch their shitty ricer cars in my honour
>run for city council

I haven't cringed this hard in a while

>be me
>have friend who leased a Fiat 500 Abarth
>go carpool with her
>we're stuck in a traffic jam and suddenly my stomach hurts
>had to fart, tried to hold it in, but i couldn't anymore. i had to let go
>so i ripped a big ol' stinky fart in her new car
>"BRRRRAAAAAPPPPP"
>but uh oh, ass feels wet
>turns out i actually sharted
>i shart in her abarth
>my friend looks at me with bewilderment and disgust
>the smell was unbearable that she started calling me a disgusting fat fuck as i kept laughing my ass off, so pissed that shes hitting me in the chest
>she managed to get off the highway by riding on the sidestrip and abandoned me at a grocery store parking lot

NO REGRETS

She sounds like a terrible friend. Real friends don't leave friends with poopy pants behind in a fucking parking lot. Car upholstery can be replaced, a true friend cannot.

THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN A PERSON WHO ISNT FUNNY BUT THINKS THEY ARE FUNNY

IS ALLOWED TO JUST FUCKING TALK AND TALK AND TALK AND TALK

I like to put my turn signals near crowded intersections, preferably with few cars and at turning lanes, and observe the faces of disillusioned and angry people after they can't cross the intersection at the fastest they can run, and retaliate with a visible grin or a laughter

I know right. So fucking annoying

More like Fiat 500 Ashart

jesus..