Automotive Autism Thread

>if someone's driving slowly in front of me I'll usually scream "REEEEEEEEEEE" until I drive past them

>sometimes when I play racing games and I crash I like to pretend I've actually crashed and act it out when I crash in game. My parents have witnessed this once when I failed to notice them in the room while playing Need For Speed

I have a CD full of burnout noises in my player at all times, if I ever want to impress people I will play it and pretend I'm doing a mad burnout.
I also do the same with engine noises sometimes

Seek help, all of you.

And here I thought I was an autist

>signal lane changes even if nobody is around
that's not autism, that's the law

I like to drift with my shopping cart at the grocery store
>there's no way I'm the only one

I make blowoff valve noises even though my car doesn't have a turbo

When I feel like driving fast on an road I'll listen to the Burnout Dominator soundtrack.

When theres a lot of traffic at a standstill on the other side of the road, I like to get as close as I can to those cars.

When I make right turns, if a car is waiting for a turn to change in the other lane I like to act like I'm about to hit them.

i don't know why I do this

I do that shit all the time user, I'd like to think I'm better than Takumi

I bought a manual

Momokun

If you break the law when no one is around, did you really break the law?

there is a chance a cop is hidden somewhere

No, I do it too.

Pigfat

I work in a hospital and I like to drift with patients on my stretcher

sometimes I press the little button on the gearstick (used to put into reverse gear) when driving normally and pretend its a mega turbo button

I rage uncontrollably at everything and turn into always critique everyone's driving behaviour when I touch my steering wheel.

my wife's used to my raging now though

if your moral compass is only on when there's people around are you secretly a criminal?

>rape and kill a woman in your house
>bury her under the floorboards
>didn't technically break the law

This

Go to ikea, they have God tier drifting carts

>wear ear plugs when on the autobahn to protect my hearing
>sometimes honk on the autobahn for no reason when no one is around
>sometimes connect my notebook to the speakers and listen to simpsons or KOTH episodes i already know

>Make VRROOOM and SCREEECH sounds with my mouth when accelerating or cornering, no matter what my speed is
>When off-roading make WHUMPITA-WHUMPITA-WHUMPITA sounds at every bump
>Try as hard as I can to run over squirrels when the road is empty
Goddamn I hate squirrels--they chewed a hole in my cable box and stuffed it full of nuts and shorted out my internet and TV for 3 weeks

i do the same

uh, what?

#NotAllSquirrels

I listen to eurobeat

But do you make tire screeching sounds?

Yes, with my tires

I turn off my headlights at night and pretend I'm takumi doing the blind attack

...

>no cop
>no stop

> Fans have to be set directly on a setting, not partway between.
> Fuel must be close to the nearest even £, because that's where loyalty points are added.
> I am on a crusade against pigeons. If they're in the road, I aim for them.
> I park in the same spot at work every day, or as close to it as I can.
> Because it's the ideal spot in terms of walking distance to non-desirablity for normies, under a lamppost for visibility on CCTV should it get vandalised/stolen from, and has a manhole cover that melts ice in winter.

... things

When I was 18 and single I was stuck not knowing what to do with my life so whenever I was off and not working I would go to the nearest mountain roads and I would speed down hill not caring about dying if I make the wrong move I did this all the time with mega drivers-big blue cover on repeat the fastest I went down hill was 117 mph I almost busted a shingo dingo because I spaced out for a second and I clipped the back right fender on my aw11.

Racing line at every turn

She's built like that one dinosaur in The Land Before Time

>Drift shopping cart
>blip throttle when coasting in gear to make pops and bang noises
>Pass slow cars at WOT

>driving through traffic
>always pick a route that forces me to be given right of way, so i dont have to give way
>whenever someone has to stop for me or cant merge for whatever reason i mumble "cucked" to myself, as if i owned them

>Cucked
I lol'd

>listen to episodes of shows I already know

fuck, I'm about to start this, with Simpsons and KOTH incidentally

Same, and with the wheeled mop buckets and trolleys at work

>wheeled mop buckets
That implies that they go anywhere WITHOUT having to be drifted.
And I know for a fact that's bullshit. I have never used a wheeled mop bucket anywhere that didn't have a stuck or wonky wheel.

dude, its EXTREMELY comfy. you know what happens anyways so the audio is enough to get yu as comfy as possible.

if you want to see simpsons and koth though, check by at ankhstream dott com, they stream it often. i think right now its breaking bad though.

Dad, is that you?

this + rubbing alcohol works really well

>What kind of car related autistic things do you do?

-=@=- When looking for a parking spot downtown or in certain areas full of homeless, I watch carefully to see if there are hidden people waiting to come out and greet the next person to park their car.

-=@=- Signal lane changes even if I think no one is anywhere close enough to be affected by my turn. If nothing else, Onstar tracks if I use signals for turns or not as part of its SmartDriver program.

-=@=- When using a drive-up ATM I not only get up as close as I can, I also make sure my spray bottle of alcohol is ready along with a screwdriver that can get a firm non-slip grip. The handle is wrapped with lots of thin rubber bands for firm grip against yanking and eliminate my fingerprints.

By being close, it reduces the chance some dindu runs up and grabs the cash. The screwdriver is ready to stab any hand or arm reaching in. Drive it hard all the way thru the hand or arm and drive off. Because the ATM dispenses the card and receipt before the cash, it is possible to drive off and not lose the card in an active ATM session. The designers were smart in forcing single cash transactions.

The 99% isopropyl alcohol is there to spray myself in case any blood gets on me. Cannot risk the chance of aids or other diseases. 91% is sold at many places, but the 99% is available at places such as Fred Meyer (owned by Kroger).

lemme bump with momokun

floor it whenever I see one of these

>ac temperature has to be even numbers, no odds allowed

same, i roadrage like there's no tomorrow, but normally i'm a big pussy and shy away from confrontation.

wow you're such a obsessive paranoid faggot it's half sad half funny

I did that once. Got a fat ticket in the mail about a week later for 200 dollars with a black and white photo of my tag.

Wouldn't recommend.

I pretend the tip of my gear stick is a button for a laser beam to blast bad drivers.. or just any cars I think should be blasted.

>middle vents have to be centered
>side vents are pointed at the windows since I don't have separate vents for defogging
>passenger seat has to be in the exact same position as the driver seat
>would vaccuum whole car every day if I had the time
>like to keep as little things in my car as possible

Yo Veeky Forums, I've got an 00 Alero and the blinkers only work like half the time, the hazards are fine though. I refuse to take it to a mechanic for something I could probably change in 10 minutes. Can you help a brother out?

Those kind don't have any cameras on them. How the fuck do you not notice the big ass camera setup attached?

mfw they put mobile versions of these in random places and almost every single guy in a truck just floors it.

Your plate would be caught on Camera. Even if the ATM did not have a camera they would check other cameras in that area, one of which is bound to get your car on camera.

Then they would check the transactions. That is another piece of evidence in your favor.

Not to mention the fact that if someone is robbing you, they are at least going to carry a knife.

If your determined to keep your $40 then you can stab them with the screwdriver, but thats going to piss him off and you are guaranteed to get stabbed.

Carrying mace is a better idea. It hurts like fuck and you can usually get away with using it for self defense.

Do you also rev? I do.

feminist?

>When at stoplight I make a screeching sound while moving my arms really fast, it makes an extremely weird sound & I do it for attention

>Will rev engine and stare down soccer moms at redlights, expecting them to race their minivan packed with children

>Tell my car that I love it while rubbing steering wheel

>In my last car I emptied a box of razor blades into the console where all the change was by accident. I ended up leaving them in there, because it made going into the console to get change more interesting

>>In my last car I emptied a box of razor blades into the console where all the change was by accident. I ended up leaving them in there, because it made going into the console to get change more interesting

When I tighten hubcaps which are held in by caps that screw over the lug nuts I tighten in the star pattern or correct sequence as the nuts

kek'd at the last part

sorry to tell you this but...

if you raped her before killing her somrone was around. You broke the law
but thats only if you think women are people

what if he kills her first, rapes the still-warm body then buries it?

Fernando Martinez not related

>drive '90 accord shitbox
>whenever I'm on the nice part of the local interstate speed to at least 100mph
>attempt to race any car that looks fast
>sing along to my little chinese girl cartoon music whilst doing this
>cry because my car has some kind of governor even though F22A6's arent supposed to.

this piece of shit is at 4700rpm @120mph but i get cucked by some sort of limiter that makes me break.

as long as she didnt see it coming

>he doesn't know what air friction is

>at gas pump, gas must always be a total ending in 5 or 0, prefer multiples of .25
>headlights on at least 30 minutes before sunset
>volume knob at 15 max
>steering wheel as close to dead center as possible when parked, even on a curved road
>turn ignition on, any lights, phone on mount, seatbelt on, engine then radio
>mirror switch in the middle/off when I'm done adjusting mirrors
>vents always either fully open or closed

...

nigger I can feel the piece of shit wants to go faster. Problem is that i think the breaks engage once it hits a certain RPM because that ECU doesn't have a rev limiter.

this is 100% me as well

If I'm driving an automatic I have to put it in neutral at the lights...

I know I don't have to... I just do...

Rev limiter and speed governing are different things. Some cars have a hard speed limit programmed in the ECU and it starves the engine of fuel once you reach that limit, regardless of throttle input or gear. It's like 120mph on mine. I'm not at max revs in 5th but it won't go faster than that, I'd have to get it chipped to go faster.

or you fucks stop acting so edgy and just consider the case of a theft. Would user think no one broke the law if his car get stolen while no one was around ?

No fun allowed.
The point's the same tho. If you legally cannot be committed of a crime then legally you did not commit a crime

For whatever reason, our Sprinter customers keep activating their speed limiter at stupid speeds like 30km/h etc...

Somewhere out there, there's a third party knockoff Mercedes software people are using that keeps setting the limiter to this speed...

I personally think it's hilarious. We have to remove the limiter, and we get to warn them not to use that software anymore.

God tier qt3.14

convicted, not committed

You seem like a fun guy

Thats not how it works you dingus, the woman was there when you were murdering her.

>I must be going at a speed divisible by 5, anybody I'm behind that is going at a speed of a number that is not a multiple of 5 greatly frustrates me
>turn headlights on no matter what time of day
>take extra time to make sure my car is parked as straight as possible and wheels are straight as well

>Signal lane changes even if nobody is around
Same

>I have a CD full of burnout noises in my player at all times
My previous car had voice control that wouldn't waste time by repeating some help message each time voice control was activated. If there was an annoying car in front of me I would would say "Computer Fire Phasers" and the Star Trek phaser sound would occur. The track also had a long silence following the sound effect to give me time to switch to something else to maintain the illusion.

My new GM car sucks at this because it precedes voice control mode with a little speech and then announces the song name and artist before playing it. Totally ruins the illusion of a phaser firing.

>I like to drift with my shopping cart at the grocery store
You too? I do that a few times on the way back to the car in the parking lot. No cop has given me ticket for drifting in the parking lot.

>squirrels
Some are tame. On the university campus, a squirrel once ran up my pants leg to get the chocolate item I was holding at waist height. Normally, I would kill squirrels. They like to chew and tug out the wire screen in the ventilation holes under the eaves. Then they get inside and I worry about them chewing wires and setting things on fire or birds & rats using the opening they make. And they are bound to bring in lots of dirty moldy leaves and sticks to make cluttered nests.

When I'm at a stoplight, I sit like, a full car space back in case anyone rear ends me.
And I get super triggered at people tailgating me. If I wave at them to move back and they're still on me I'll take my foot off the gas and go like 20 miles per hour till they merge into a different lane, then I speed up again.

they changed all the tires and re coated the floor
the shopping trolleys don't drift now they just roll over

the thing is I feel a stuttering braking then a hard braking when i keep the throttle open. plus it activates anywhere between 117 and 120