Truckerfag Thread - /TFG/

Only pooftahs and pommies drink tea.

I have my cdl road test on Wednesday and I'm really fucking stressed out. Any tips? I don't feel like I'm ready. I'm studying the pre trip but I'm worried about the backing. Plus I have little experience driving in streets and tomorrow I'm gonna do highway driving. I'm worried because the test is really early during rush hour traffic. How do I stay calm during the test? I really want to pass the first time

Reminds me of this time I was talking to this ownerop in a Peterbilt dealership and he was shilling TMC super hard, meanwhile this other guy joined the party mid convo, and when TMC-kun said something about how cool their trucks looked because the whole fleet is black and chrome, the other guy goes "Oh, do you drive for Stevens?"
The look on the TMC guy's face was priceless. It was confusion, realization, disgust, and disappointment all in a half second.

ONE WEIRD TRICK TO PASS YOUR EXAM THE DMV DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW

The results on the clipboard are gospel. If you murder your examiner during the exam, and turn in the clipboard in with a passing score, they are still REQUIRED to grant you your CDL

top kek

You can stay calm by hoping you don't get paired with someone in a cuckshed going through a herpes outbreak. Should work.

I started my CDL course today (yes, on a sunday). I'd never driven a truck that wasn't a 13 or 18 speed Peterbilt or Kenworth before, and never driven anything with less than 500hp. I'm stuck in a 1995 FLD shitpile with an 8 speed and a 430hp Series 60. holy shit it's so terrible. I don't know what rear end is in it but it's tapped out at 62.

with that said, I was doing traffic and highway driving on what was technically my first day BTW which seems quick?

Black people are always the worst employees. They are lazy, loud, obnoxious, defiant, and generally don't care if they get fired or not.

But the black people in trucking are the complete opposite. Every black trucker I've gotten to know well has their shit together more than most people I know. They know exactly what they will be doing a week from now, when I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow. They always got the cleanest trucks too.

What is the deal with black people who choose the trucking career?

>But the black people in trucking are the complete opposite.
Dude naw

this is the future they are selling with automation.

yet really it will just be a straight truck that has no cab. all the truck will be under the shipping container it carries. no meat bags allowed.

Yeah maybe once we get some non conservatives that don't hate science and technology in the government, the DOT would allow that.

In the mean time, enjoy the glorified cruise control that doesn't even work.

Obama's DOT wouldn't even allow Audi to sell cars with automatic adaptive high beam headlights. since the law states that cars must have a manual switch for high beams.

Not that user but I've had the same experience. I don't know any blacks in trucking who don't have their shit together.

>since the law states
>the executive branch is now in charge of passing legislation
Dumb flyover cletus.

>return from hometime at 1000
>weekend dispatch give me load that doesn't pick up until 0300
>oh well naptime
>wake up at 2330
>truck won't turn over
I guess idling for an hour wasn't enough before plugging all my shit in.

Seems like a lot of black truckers are military vets. That tends to lend itself to someone having their shit together.

Heavy traffic is a good thing. Means you won't have to go too fast. Should be easy.

>laminate flooring
too cheap for parquet?

True but I'm worried about rolling back, or someone merging into my blind spot. I'm also worried about my test giver being a dick and purposely putting me into a sticky situation, or saying stuff like "you're revving pretty high there, you know what you're doing son?" Stuff like that. It's really the backing I'm worried about I hope by then I'm ready

Don't make up scenarios in which you can fail before they've even happened. You can fake yourself out by just acting like you know what the fuck you're doing, pretend. The placebo effect of that on it's own should instill enough confidence and aptitude to at least pass the test. Stop setting yourself up for failure.

>I had a better post written but clicked off the page, so fuck you this is what you get

Please explain the claimed circumstances wherein you drove high horsepower trucks with heavy duty transmissions, and yet do not have your CDL.

Fake it till you make it, as the old saying goes.

After leaving the truck and cleansing all my possessions with fire, I think I might be good now. Time to get home on the company dime lol.

Enjoy those herpes, my dude.

You quit and the company pays you to go home? How does that work?

>stop at loves in arkansas
>pair of truckers in overalls get two twelve packs of bud and take them to the register
>get told they can't buy beer on sunday in arkansas
>queue white man chimpout (loud complaining as they leave)
>"BOUT THE DUMBEST THING I EVER HEARD OF"
>"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET IN THESE PUSSY ASS LIBERAL STATES"
>"BUT I GUESS THEY AIN'T HAPPY TIL THEY TELL EVERYONE HOW TO LIVE, HUH? OH WELL"

I don't know why I quoted you.

Nice freedoms you Amerilards have.

Also, fendirror users
youtu.be/N4lWeBAgjuM

Reminder that Freightliner makes vibrating pieces of shit.

Give the instructor a hand job

Called in today just one of those fuck it kind of days you know

>tfw 5k tax refund coming this week

>the feeling when you realize that you have the government a $5,000 interest free loan

I have friends with some fancy "farm trucks" that taught me how to drive them

It is actually a nice freedoms, because the states have the rights to set their own alcohol sales, and Arkansas chooses to restrict sales on Sunday and Christmas.
Meanwhile in California, you could go to Wal-Mart at 1AM on a Sunday and buy a gallon of whiskey no problem.

>tfw have my federal allowance at the right number to maximize my paycheck without owing money at the end of the year
>mfw every white trash retard says I should always make it 0 so I get the biggest income tax return for wasting
>tell them that they are giving interest free loans to the government and I'm competent enough with my money to not need some income tax check to bail me out year in and year out
>they chimp out like dogs smelling meat

Is that true?

I've traveled to every state and have never seen a Walmart selling real alcohol. All they sell is beer and wine. Never seen anything higher than 15%. Anything less than 75% is for trashy liberals and quitters.

I don't care about what your pretentious definition of "real alcohol" is but some do sell whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, just depends on the state.

>"I habs an emerjuncee ad home please ged me derr asabb :^)"

WEW LADS just saw a live lot lizard working the Pilot in Houston at 9:30 in the morning. Should I go back and fuck it?

>tips tinfoil fedora

No u.

Going on month 9 no wash

How many here are homeless truckers?

>be 25
>2nd year trucking
>turn down most home time and take my weekend off aka 34 reset on the road wasting money
>maybe come home a few times a year around holidays and birthdays
>have no intentions of buying a home until I have $250K+ saved and want to quit OTR and do something local
>Only 13/48 of fucking a woman in every lower 48 though
>no hookers or lot lizards count
>mostly just drunk women though so same thing

Blue laws are conservative, not liberal tho.
How can you be free when you're so thoroughly manipulated you don't even know what you're voting for

>month 9
>not year 9
Pleb.

Though I guess it's year 3 in this truck.

wew lads. having one of those days

>get to receiver
>wants tandems slid back
>sure thing man
>give it a few attempts, tandems staying put
>go look at them
>one is broke, stuck out
>rod snapped that pulls it in
>customer helps by holding the pin in with a rod so I can at least get wheels slid and unloaded
>call maintenance, they (eventually) give directions to a shop
>drive 40 miles of 2 lane country roads in Pennsylvania to get to this place
>not a tractor trailer shop
>call maintenance again
>oh well off to the next shop on the list
>waiting for gps navigation now

Also my fleet manager thinks its just stuck and wants me to whack it with a hammer. baka

Thinking about it

>He didn't call the shop ahead to see if they can fix it
>Uses GPS

Why do you suddenly have to wear a suit shirt and polished shoes as a trucker just because the thing is driving itself?

That's what the companies think they want their drivers to look like.
In reality, it's jeans, stained T-shirts, and beaten to shit workboots if they're lucky.
If not, sweatpants, sports 'shoes', and a bra.

>you're so thoroughly manipulated
But muh freedumbs.

Americans are ingnorant as fuck, the biggest sheeple on the planet.

>he thinks I'd put that much effort into a job that only pays .35/mile

t. Steering wheel attendant

I'm technically homeless but head to different family members homes every 4 or 5 weeks. Trying to seriously save money this year, hope to save at least 2/3s of what I earn. Starting to read up on investment options since it does fuck all in my bank.

Basically.

You can buy hard liquor virtually anywhere in Louisiana 24/7. Walmart, grocery stores, gas stations, I've even been in truck stops here that sell it. Gonna stop at a truckstop later that has a full bar attached to it

Walmart in Bedford IN has whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum packaged by the usual suspects for each of those items. I find it ironic it's on the same aisle as the bottled water.

I do just because I don't like getting stuck in front of a low bridge with the nearest turn around 10 miles behind me, or driving 40 miles on Pennsylvania backroads to find out I have to go to yet another place.

Breddy sure the Wal-Mart in Dickinson ND sold hard liquor.

That bitch has a nice rack.

Shame about her political leanings.

I didn't notice anything apart from those huge mams.

You might be gay.

Gay for titties.

Those tits suck. They just big and formless and thats it. Look how much they sag already. Theyre plain sloppy. Just wait til she has kids and hits 35 - she'll be dribbling those things on the floor like fucking basketballs.

A good pair of tits doesnt need a bra to keep them from looking saggy. Theyre just nice and perky - not too big, not too small. This sad bitch has saggy tits in her 20s even with a bra on.

>Blue laws are conservative, not liberal tho.
And that's a very good thing. I 100% support restriction of alcohol sales.

Massive faggot detected

Okay. At any rate, I'm not some degenerate that wastes money on spicy water that's filled with empty calories. I'd vote for prohibition if I had the option.

So you admit youre a massive faggot then. Well that settles it, your opinions are literally invalid now. Shut the fuck up and move along.

>got dem digits
Sheeeeit we got a lil date planned for Wednesday and Friday she was workin late so I was chillin over there with her for awhile.

>suburban cook county
Fuck that hellhole. One of my good friends, his dad owns a mansion in Barrington Hills and he was telling me it's close to $40k/yr in property taxes alone.

Lel. That's funny.

You can think whatever you want. I'm not concerned about what some liberal cuck thinks in the first place. If anything, your tears only strengthens my resolve.

At the very least they help the mom and pop stores compete with the big stores.

>NEENER NEENER I CANT HEAR YOU IM RUBBER YOURE GLUE tier post

This isnt about what i think. Water is wet, and the earth isnt flat, yet just because i say those things doesnt mean they get reduced to what i think. They are simply facts and i am simply stating them. That being said, youre a fucking limpwrist faggot - thats a fact. Why you think me stating a blatantly obvious fact is considered "crying" only highlights your poor grasp of reality and the delusions you have sunken down to.

>unironically calls alcohol spicy water
>SPICY WATER

>believes alcohol should be illegal
>calls OTHER people liberal cucks

Pottery. Its no secret that trucking attracts the outcasts and losers of society, as well does Veeky Forums - but one cant help but feel pity when encountering one of the likes of you.

fwiw, they're shitty old Puritan laws rather than being conservative or Republican laws.

>tfw some 8 year old kid can kill 14,000 people in CoD but god forbid he sees a boob

>one day later
>still not a car hauler in North America
>still a mxjakdseaklsdasm in Europe

For starters, water isn't wet. To be wet means to be saturated with water, water can't be saturated in itself.
But more importantly, can you are least bother learning what the difference is between conservatism and liberalism? Prohibition was a conservative movement that promoted morality, and the big city liberals got pissed and repealed it later, by that progressive cuck FDR.

>He actually got suckered into working for slave wages
>Hasn't left yet despite being reamed in the ass by his company and his leper co-driver kek
>.35cpm

Dude I made more than you laid up in workman's comp getting only 2/3 of my pay kek. Fucking leave that shithole already. If you don't have any priors or an accident on your DAC then why are you still there

That was PAM.
All leasecucks confirmed retard.

t.buttjelly cpmcuck

>For starters, water isn't wet.

Holy shit you insipid faggot...you have just taken stupid to a whole new level...I'm sure your 2 dad's will be proud...

Do they not have Google where you live? Water isn't wet. Wet is a state that only solids can be in. But that you chose to only respond to that part of my post lets me know you realized you were wrong, but you aren't a big enough man to accept your mistake and your ego is too big to just let it go, so you had to double down and desperately throw out one more ad hominem.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to put another entry in my "retards demolished in online arguments" memobook.

Troll-Kun rides again.

Massive faggot detected

What is the wetness factor of water?

>Thanks for giving me the opportunity to put another entry in my "retards demolished in online arguments" memobook.

How many special olympics gold medal entries do you have in it?

>Thanks for giving me the opportunity to put another entry in my "retards demolished in online arguments" memobook.

Just really, incredibly, witheringly cringeworthy.

First you will have to find your crayons before writing that entry.

Just avoid Veeky Forums at all costs. It's like asking for real advice on Veeky Forums, /g/, /out/, or any other board on this website in general.

Having my first load to NYC I'm picking up. Long Island to be specific.

Am I going to cause a scene? I have no idea what to expect. I hate huge cities so I tend to stay in the southwest and spend weekends at Vegas blowing money on slots. But my Aunt is dying and this is the quickest route towards home in Maryland.

What do you have planned?

>I have strong opinions on the female form, mostly gleaned from pornography, yet have never intimately touched one

It's quite funny because although those boobs he's describing looks the best, there's not a better feeling than squishing your face between some big Mom tits after you sadly disappoint her but she loves you anyways and strokes your hair.