What's the absolute most tard thing you've heard from a non car person?

I'm curious o/ what is the most tard shit you heard from any non car person who is a know it all, or even if they're not a know it all?

Mine
"I don't get the point of that wing thingy?"
Verbatim pretty tame.

Also post pics of cars in general.

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>Subaru Sti with custom bov drives near me and group of friends
>as the driver changes gears car makes "pssh" sound
>a friend says yoo guys heard that ? them INJECTORS sound
> I didn't say nuthin, I don't care about educating others

>it's just a scratch

did you teach them why the wing thing was important?

>a porsche is like a vw beetle

>don't buy old jaguars or land rovers because they're unreliable

motherfuckers don't know

>Gasoline doesn't go trough the engine
He was pretty serious about it

Congratulations. Even people who don't know shit about cars know more than you.

miatas are cool

pffttt, that shit was true back in the 80s. look at how many Discoveries and Range Rovers are on the road with 250k-300k miles. there are hundreds of them, all running like champs.

After telling him my bike is carbureted and that I need to clean the carbs
>nah man just run some seafoam through your gasoline it gets the crap out of the injectors
>injectors
>carbureted bike

that's because they depreciated so fast owner couldn't afford to sell them.

and that's a problem? more like something awesome for the buyer. solid axles, V8, awesome seating position, comfortable, like 4 skylights, and plenty of room for cargo.

Exhaust and intake can get you atleast 50-100hp on any car easily. Right after he showed me a picture of an evo 10 claiming this is what his base lancer looks like. For reference i dont like showing my power level so i went along with it.

It's a problem for owners who have to maintain unreliable cubes of shit, yes.

>Hundreds of thousands produced
>Hundreds remain

>Roommate thinks he'll use all the internet because his Skyrim has 200 mods
I didn't correct him, more bandwidth for me.

Yes t told her that as air pass over, and under the car they need a wing to have the air push the car down to avoid shit like this from happening at higher speeds.

youtu.be/g8XxQkXCmsU

Also better grip at higher speeds
Also explained thats what splitters are for just sorta like a front end wing.
No expert on this shit but basic knowing.

from a dude driving a challenger

>my car has 2 exhaust pipes because of my engine valves

"oh, ok" and I walked away.

>why doesn't our chemistry professor who owns a tesla roadster not drive it everyday?

>new coworker with Hyundai accent
>he asks about my accord, tell him 3.0L v6 that makes 200hp kinda fun
>tells me his accent makes 225hp because he added a short-shifter

>"if you put high test gasoline in your car it will burn up your engine"

kek

But this is true

turbos are those things in the wheels right?

My friend got a new Honda Civic special sports edition, that his mom got for him and his brother to share.
>bro it's got manual transmission and automatic, shifting feels badass
>lol wut
>ask him how many pedals he has
>the answer is two
>don't say anything
>he picks me up one day
>it has paddle shifters, not a manual transmission
>laugh to myself softly

Friend has a 2017 carolla
>*points at radiator* dude that's the intercooler for my turbo
>*points somewhere deep in the engine bay* and that's the turbo dude
>dude I hate the turbo lag on my car
>dude my car is so fast hahahah
>rev matching when in an automatic is a good skill to have
I don't say anything to him about it because he's my best friend. But god damn he is fucking retarded.

fuck, I was thinking "Hyundai accent" meant "accent from the country of Hyundai" for a second

>talking to a "friend" at the track
>"Well, it can either be a parallel twin-turbo, like in a GT-R R34, or a sequential twin-turbo like in an FD RX7"
>"user, you're such a retard, the Mk.IV Supra isn't twin turbo, it's bi-turbo!"
>mfw pic related

To be fair he says he doesn't know, he didn't assert that it's pointless.

>rear brakes are bigger because they do most of the braking
god damn mom

Except it's truth. Anything with "Lucas" stamped on it is is bound to fail. I've leart this thanks to a close friend of mine, he owned a Series 1 Defender and recently bouught a defender because he's a glutton for punishment.

We used to daily that Defender to high school just for kicks. One day it was the brakes, the other the ignition...but we always sorted it out, we even spent months cranking it manually. One day, no matter what we did, the fucker didn't want to start, no matter if we were cranking it manually or with the keys. It' was the day of our graduation. That taught me all I have to know about english cars.

KEK
Your friend is one of us

B-but the defender's supposed to be the good one!

My ex

>so that car is turbo right?
Uh, yeah how'd you guess that?
>it's got 2 exhaust pipes

Sides were in orbit

>Why do people even bother liking expensive cars, you will never own one so what's the point! You should jerk over shitty econoboxes with mods instead
Every faggot wannabe le supreme enthusiast on Veeky Forums

us?
you mean shitposters?

(Same person)
1: "I took my (r32) GT-R to the dealership to trade for an r35, but I kept the body panels from the r32 so its a whole new car on the inside"

2: "I had my manual removed and I put in trigger shifters"

3: "I downshifted from 5th to 2nd going 70 down the highway and the car did a huge nosedive (chuckle) but I shifted back to 4th and kept going"

>mfw

It bothers me when sequential turbos of different size/type are referred to as twin-turbos.

>"that subaru br-z has a porsche boxer engine"
>he says this while pointing at a camaro ss

>at a car show parked next to a STI
>Kid walks by and points at the hella horns in the grill
>"Dude that's huge set of Turbos"
>Looks at his equally retarded friend
>"fucking huge man"

>downshifted from fifth to second
>kept going

his engine didnt blow up? really?

Your friend may in fact be a sperg.

I've made that verbal mistake before.. Plus, jets are just unpowered injectors, aren't they?

he's just a nigglet

Lies

>"That all sounds terrible"
When I was explaining the characteristics of a Wankel rotary engine

ye but it is

Nope. They're jets and filters. Also he never corrected himself and continues to confuse the two so I doubt it was a mistake and not ignorance.

well...

>you have to get AWD AUTOMATIC!! REEEEEE
fucking women.

All of you damn I enjoy all of your stories. Never thought the thread would grow this fast. o/ you guys, and gals are fucking awesome.

...

maybe he thinks you're the dumb one for believing him

is it a double clutch or a slushbox with paddle shifters?

>>The harder the metal, the safer the car

My dad has been a parts manager for a Jaguar/Land rover store for almost a decade and he loves the discoveries for how often they need a new part. And they're never cheap. Its great for commision.

then i guess those steel behemoths from the 60s and 70s must be the pinnacle of safety

It depends on how you explain it to him. If you straight up tell him that it burns oil by design and shoots fuel out of the exhaust, well that is pretty terrible. Everything else is pretty dope though.

>sitting in my shitbox ('06 New Beetle) with uncle
"These were designed in Nazi Germany, you know."
>right.

>changing oil in said shitbox, filling up
>neighbor says "I always thought the engine was in the back or those things"
"Only on the old ones, Tom."

>pull up next to brodozer at stoplight, top down because summer
"NICE CAR, FAGGOT" says brodozer guy
>ignore him, just want to go get ice cream
>he revs at me, yelling again
>I rev back
>light goes green
>brodozer blows up in intersection, smoke everywhere
>MFW

>>changing oil in said shitbox, filling up
>>neighbor says "I always thought the engine was in the back or those things"
>"Only on the old ones, Tom."

That's acceptable.
Come on man.

Somewhat, but a New Beetle and a Beetle are visually very different. And I have a '76 Beetle parked right next to it.

He definitely saw that it's a new one.
That guy also knew that original Käfer are rear-engined. Most people don't.
He just assumed that VW wouldn't shit on the heritage.
Not angry or anything mate, I just think that that guy doesn't deserve to be posted here.
He tried lol.

>you car is turbo
>slowly walks away

>"I can't drift I don't have an e-brake!"

or the classic

>"what do you mean"

~30 seconds in is the rant on the transmission.
And a quality rant is is, nonetheless.
youtu.be/Z_QnyfEokg8

>took my r32 gtr
>to trade for an r35

I used to work at a gas station that was right down the street from the school district's school bus training and maintenance center
>lady walks in wearing school district bus training center uniform
>obviously just got off work
>"Hi my oil light is on, my car needs some oil"
>looks behind register at different bottles of oil
>"oh never mind you guys don't have pennzoil, you're not supposed to mix different brands."

>my car has all wheel drive, it makes it so fast I have to use my left foot to brake
>I have to go over 80mph or my car will overheat since it was built for speed
This guy had a Passat.

People that think that buying premium gasoline is the sole determinant in making their car last longer

Buying premium will do nothing to your shitbox civic, but go ahead and burn your money away if you want

My mechanic friend told me the other day that mixing viscosities is fine too.
Is that true? I was always told to not mix them.

mom

"dont when you get to the red part of the meter the engine will break?"

Not sure why he would say that. Your engine has a specific viscosity for a reason.

To be fair, 20-30% of Veeky Forums users believe this too.

It's fine to mix them, mixing half 5w20 and half 5w30 will make 5w25 more or less. If your car is down a quart and it takes 5w30 but only 5w20 is available it's fine to topup with 5w20 - just not optimal, other way around is fine too. 5w30 near the end of it's oil life thins out to like a 5w20 anyways.

It's also perfectly fine to mix synthetic and non-synthetic. Oil is better than no oil.

I go to the toxic waste drop off place and get half used bottles of motor oil for free. Right now I have a mix of 5w30, 5w20, and 10w40 in my piece of shit car and it works great!

only car people say that desu

Guy in class tries to sell me his "2017 CLS 500"
>not a scratch on it bro
>only has 15k kilometers on it bro
Shows me a pic and its an 07 CLS with like 400k on it.
>15k OBO
sides left orbit.

Not him but if it's a new Civic with paddle shifters, it's 100% a CVT

>Anything with "Lucas" stamped on it is is bound to fai

Incurable shitty electrical gremlins.

How many Jaguars driving around with one or both rear running lights out.

Your friend is on the spectum. This is just the type of strange rooms you get from Aspies

wait are you serious

>>>The harder the metal, the safer the car

>then i guess those steel behemoths from the 60s and 70s must be the pinnacle of safety

Especially when the metal they're talking about
is the Dashboard and steering column. You want
that shit to be fucking pointy and steel if at all
possible

This. Especially the synthetic/non synthetic thing. People think you can't go back once you switch but you just should make the next oil change sooner than you normally would so the non-synthetic can finish flushing out all of the parts of the engine that synthetic was still stuck to.

Mind you, if you can or its equally easy, you might as well put the viscosity of oil in your engine that it asks for. Engineers spent lots of time designing the tiny tolerances in your engine for a specific viscosity to minimize wear so respecting that is a good idea, but your engine won't explode if you don't. It will probably just not last an extra 15k miles at the end of its life.

My buddy had a girl that yelled at him for turning on the ac when she was low on coolant. She thought coolants only purpose was to cool the air coming into the car. Not the engine powered by explosions, but the air conditioner.

Yes if I had a newer car then maybe not. I also put oil in there from walmart when I cant find it at the hazardous materials place. But it's a great way to save money on a car that burns a ton of oil anyway.

Had a car guy "friend" who claimed his golf 3 1.8 syncro had a torsen centerdiff and 60/40 rear bias. He also claimed to have hit 220km/h in the shitbox. The worst thing about it is that he should have known better, all his friend are proffesional mechanics and he uses all his money on his cars.

Sad really.

The same guy claimed his e46 330 had 420whp from a 1200$ ebay turbokit...

Agree with most of this

>mixing synth with non-synth is fine

Big no no, the oil can start to produce corrosive properties.

You stupid nigger your uncle was right. Hitler helped creat VW known as "the peoples car" in the 30s to stimulate the economy and nationalistic pride. It then came out with the first bug, a car any working man could afford and enjoy. He meant beatles in general reeree

Respect your fucking elders