/ss13g/ - Spessmen on a Spess Station

>be an assistant, go to secure disk
>my ping gets really bad, so I figure I'll electrolyze some lube to defend myself with
>some nigger atmos tech steals the silicate tank immediately into the round
>I try to chase him down so I can talk to him
>he just continues running
>spend about 10 minutes chasing him
>at one point I run into ops so I cut off the chase
>accidentally slip on the same bar of soap that the op slipped on while trying to steal his gun, so he get's up faster and shoots me.

passing you the jetpack was the best idea

>One MD
>Everything is explosions
>Corpses by the shitload
>Two more MDs show up, one just disappears, the other gets to work

It was fairly hellish

Just chloral him and throw her into disposals.

Is this the specimen you guys call a "greyshitter"?

On a semi related note, how do the holotag/IDs work for security? Is there a holomap somewhere that can be consulted?

No one outruns a plasma bomb. I dont know why he refused to let me get close to him or didn't try to shoot me, but the second I got within 3 squares, it was ogre.

>there are two threads

God I despise humans.
Don't get me wrong, not all of them are evil shitcunts, a lot of them take the "friendly neighborhood carbon here to command you" to heart, and these people are generally reliable.
But this game isn't about that. I honestly think the fact that they're so vulnerable to nearly all the ailments and inconveniences that plague teh crew is against the spirit of the game. This game is about trying to keep the station, and yourself, alive; and when it fails, suffering together as the puzzle pieces break apart. Humans? Only thing they have to worry about ever are plasma floods, zas, viruses, greytide, and lack of food. Ha ha emp? Lmao go fuck yourself. What's that, emag? Ha ha go fuck yourself. What's that, lack of power? Ha ha go fuck yourself. What's that, you want me to upgrade your battery for you? Ha ha go fuck yourself.
They're just mechanically divided from the rest of the game, and socially too, when you consider Vox: stupid little autistic birds that are expected to roleplay in every capacity without the rest of their crew and twiddle their thumbs away doing self masturbatory trading projects like the games on Baystation with their magic hydroponics that just manifest garlic and no-fruits out of nowhere. But despite that if you ever hurt one, you can guarantee that the station is going to hell in record time.
And god knows it's not shitcurity that keep them in line, it's the threat of a ban hammer slamming down on the cunts if they step out of line even a little. I've had enough "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it wasn't rouge so I blew it :^)" on Paladin as a borg to know they use the same exact tactics as a petty 12 year old girls to get what they want despite their expectations to serve.
If it wasn't ban worthy in itself, I'd shoot, decapitate, and kick every human, vox and grey at round start, every round.
I fucking wish I knew how to code so I could just overhaul genetics/carbons/humans

I wouldn't care so much if you'd stop fucking fixing my sabotage

> one outruns a plasma bomb
Tell that to the trader a few days ago who successfully outran the rolling wave of deletions right up until he ran into a door.

The clown was the best part of the round.

when i got antag for the first time i suicide-bombed medbay using a grenade thinking i will cause great damage

You stick your ID on it, then you can use it in hand to flash it at people or use it on people to invade their privacy.
It's more or less an RP thing that looks cool

Xth for mona lisa is the worst shitter atm

give vox space navigation ( like jetpack but always) because they are birdds X3

ironic shit posting is still shit posting

give skeleton ability to rise from dead ( like defib but always) because they are bonees X3

>DONT TALK TO ME OR MY SON EVER AGAIN

For identifying what alien artifacts do, is the cuck paper the only thing that gives you hints? Is the rest just hands-on experience?

Paper tells you the range of effects
Tests or admins with view variable confirm the exact effect.

It said it emitted a low energy emission through an ambient field and activated on touch.
Didn't seem to do jack shit from what I tested.

>see cans of spray in maint
>vaguely remember seeing it on changelog, buts its not on the wiki
>ahelp to check
>no answer
>but they have time to spawn 2 narsie's at round end

thanks badmins

also be more grateful to sec when they dont valid you even though they have a right to, shit gimmick waifu remover clown

You can, just be sure you're next to the cryo tubes or the cloner first.

99% of the time they will call it rather than fix it. Same with SMES.

>spawns nar-nar just for that meme

C'mon you can do it better admin...

Follow the fucking wiki guide and check the other triggers.

>be chemist
>a floating healthbar is following us
>doctor gets stuffed into a sleeper
>sleep them back and deliver them to security for them to sort out
>bambs dead for rest of round
you did the right thing though. being invisible is crazy suspicious but it isn't exactly like the syndicate are the only people who can be invisible.

S-sorry

Does donating to the server still give you higher antag priority

That whole business is done through the discord now, PM zealotron for more

Physical interaction is set off by touch, water, acid, thermite, or toxin

If you meant low level radiation, that just spews CO2 and you should have had the scrubber off during tests so you could actually tell any change both passively and ungloved hitting.

>tfw qbone is a fucking moron for lowering my perma to a three day.

Fucking hell, I almost peed myself

t. Surfer pretending to be Rina pretending to be Avada pretending to be Rigatoni pretending to be Lyra pretending to be Rin

stop bullying me

Post your sec husbando!

My patrol buddy. Homos that ride together evac together

>circle around the station five times because you're retarded
>get blown up by
>literal nuke ops bullied by a nerd
w e w l a d

Today just isn't your day.

Arie!

Rate my sec loadout

Jumpsuit with a holster and egun
Stolen HoS Hat
Stolen HoS Jacket
Insulated Gloves
Magboots w/ boot knife
Suit storage - Ion Rifle/Combat shotgun

L Pocket, extended internals
R Pocket Hailer

Sec belt
*Taser
*Pepperspray
*Glock
*Handcuffs
*Flashbang
*Stun baton
*Flash

Backpack
*Laser gun
*Stolen forensic Scanner/Blast Cannon
*Box of Tools
*Box of meds
*Box with spare handcuff, flash, flashbang, bolas to legcuff, spare glock mag, earmuffs, Lawgiver mag
*Box with spare internal, sec gps, stolen pinpointer/nuke disc, corn oil donut, hyperzine pill bottle, Bounced radio, mortar
*Box of misc shit like an empty container for screening for poisons, explosion grenade(s), spare cables, fuel, comms/robo control, soldering iron & sacid jug, hand tele, regular gps, welding goggles, lube and other shit accumulated filling in stuff

Pulling an ED-209

good taste

Give me good ideas for antag gimmicks involving massive explosions.

>no holobadge

DROPPED

blowing yourself up faggot

cuban pete

Do them off station and then get better gimmicks. No one likes bombing gimmicks.

>not another egun in suit store
>hat instead of dermal implant
>right pocket not tape
>no badge on the suit with the holster
>pepperspray and glock instead of another pair of cuffs and flashbang
>carrying a lawgiver magazine for no discernable reason
>normal welding goggles instead of advanced
>no SPS what the fuck
I'll give you the earmuffs being a good shout but fuck man

I never got to use those, what are they good for?

Trade 5 valves for nocap. Replace the captain then take the other heads hostage to fax demanding that centcomm has 5 minutes to send a shuttle to deport all the nonhumans on or you'll kill and melt a head every 5 minutes your demands aren't met. When validhunters obviously come to get dem valids you'll blow up when they finally get you. Then regenerate/return to life and recall

Ion rifle's clutch for disarming shitters and shotgun's good hostile mob gear
I could never get tape to work so I just hailer meme then I can say well I hailer'd him to stop and he kept resisting
Pepperspray is clutch as fuck and glock barfs good. I got spare bangers and cuffs in my spares box
I usually nigger the lawgiver. Forgot to put it in my list's flex slot sorry
You can grab the goggles immediately on your trip to eng. You'll upgrade thm to advanced when you got get kits from rnd whenever.
I did.

Real sec loadout rate:
Flash and hailer in pockets
Tape, baton, 3 cuffs and 2 flashbangs in belt
Taser in suit storage
Emergency box with health scanner, bandaid, extended tank, radio, crowbar, wrench and SPS
Evidence bag box with 4 cuffs 3 flashbangs
Another taser in bag
Holobadge on suit
Bandolier with 7 flashbangs if possible

Holobagdes are just nice *law equivalents that you can swipe an ID on and use in hand that can be pinned to jumpsuits

>Jumpsuit with holobadge
>Siren Helmet
>Sec Headset
>HUD Glasses
>Armour vest
>Black Gloves
>Black Shoes
>Suit storage - Taser
>L Pocket, Flash
>R Pocket Cuffs
Sec belt
>Taser
>Pepperspray
>Handcuffs
>Flashbang
>Stun baton
>Flash
>Frosted Donut
Backpack
>Box with spare donut, small air tank breath mask and a bandage
>Hailer
>Police Tape

>Riding a secway

>Wasting being able to store a large item in your suit storage on a taser
Oh holy ffffffuuuuuck. Do generic grenades fit in a bandolier? You have no idea how erect I'd be with 7 explosion grenades

TRUE sec loadout
>uniform slot traded out for one of the pants only items
>belt: SPS
>left pocket: spray bottle w/ water
>feet: magboots
>right pocket: one pair of handcuffs
>back: ion rifle or spear

>twenty million tertiary/what if items you'll probably never end up using
>only one taser and two pairs of cuffs

forgot to mention SPS in box, set to MALL

I rate it, found out the door was shocked when it instacrit him/died when somebody or a borg opened a firelock/10

>Wrestle them to the ground
>Gore the criminal to death
Yisss

If I need more than a taser I'm killing it, cutting its head off, and destroying its head. If I need more than 2 cuffs I'm invoking the mob clause of lethal force guidelines and putting shitters down.

I use most of them in a round that isn't vamp/lingstended that evacuates to a loose/6bomb

Secways are ZAS and memechair immune citizen.

I can only assume so, unless they are a larger item then flashbangs.

Powergaming guns larger than tasers is pretty wacky unless the round really escalates

>two flashes

>UNIFORM for the sweet white shirt
>holobadge on uniform
>sec armour with nothing in the suit storage so you have space for code red weapons
>jackboots with knife, ensure they are cleaned at the soonest oppurtunity if they get dirty
>black gloves
>hudglasses
>earpiece
>belt with SPS, two cuffs, flash, taser, baton, flashbang
>left pocket extended air tank filled to max set to 16kpa release
>right pocket tape
>bag with full evidence bag box, gas mask, helmet, trauma kit, burn kit, and if possible megaphone

learn how to balance your mild powergaming with weaknesses
you must become one with your loadout

>No one likes bombing gimmicks.
They're better than vampstended.

What's all that useless stuff for? In case there is a revolution, traitors, nuke ops and rogue AI all at the same time?

Medical Malpractice is literally the best tator tot item.

every round is mixed until proven otherwise

Do you ever get sick of having to leave it behind to take someone back or having to babysit their legcuffed walk to the brig?

Sometimes you just don't get sci access cause it's a grifer HoP/Cap and you'll regret it if you didn't have 2 to murder the metal overlords with while you go to unfuck them.

It always does. It's nice to have a shotgun for spiders and shit

This, Shotgun for simple mobs or ion for people/silicons
Meds and mortar to handle yourself and your battle buddy
Double flash for shitfits with silicons and people without eye protection
Grenade's let you gib borgs and zas slam perps
Already having comms/robo control saves you a huge headache. Forgot to put an AI uplaod and reset if you're feeling itchy
Hand tele's a good intertia item, they never expect you to come back through giving you an easy stun shot. Fuel/iron when you inevitably have to fix/cut through shit yourself because nobody else will.
Comms inevitably always go out so you want a radio
Legcuffs help slow them down so you can just laser their accomplice then them without a fuss.
Honks happen and when it's effortless to already have your muffs there's no excuse I just wish they weren't broken for blocking flashbang stun
Regular gps helps you keep track of shit.

Openly carrying while on code green, 0/10 get demoted.

guillotines should be craftable

Thank you Antonio and Bones. We went through a lot together and didn't get a lot of breaks.

Not while the radgun exists

I'll demote you to braincake

EMAG

Hacked item analyser if tater mechanic.

>tfw free to inject people with all disabiltiy monkey syringes as mute blind deaf and retarded monkeys flail around
Best feeling

how do i remove byond ads?

>surfer wasn't an antag
But why subvert the AI?

Hey fuckers in science, remember that the people you are bombing are people too and noone wants to spend the entire game as a pile of gibs dead on the floor just because a twat wants to be an all powerful station bombber

Because >Surfer

They'll grow up eventually.

ARE YOU FEELING ANTAGONIZED YET MR. CRABS?

>whining because your static has blown
>not bothering the roboticist/botanist/xenobiologist/become a mommi/become a mouse/ect to get back into the game for fun

>not the Greytide implant

Nothing is more fun than implanting the captain or HoS and telling them to do whatever they like as long as they don't mess with you.

Like I said, I was never going to subvert! I just wanted to test if building an AI Upload worked in a way that you could build it anywhere and upload any law so long as you had the console and the freeform, then scrap it and return it. I goofed and welded the door though so it looked pretty suspicious.

what fucking world do you live in where there is
>a roboticist
>a roboticist that knows how to do their job
>a roboticist that is willing to do their job

He was the roboticist. He removed someones ass without consent and was jailed for 3 minutes and demoted.

emag the arcade games and let the crew blow themselves trying to win the game

Bundle or random item is the best

>we will never have oldlighting in all its eye-searing glory ever again
it hurts

>spawn as cyborg
>AI has a law 0

Explain these.

Also, where does invisible spray come from?

>get the meme wheelchair
>AI locks you down after you run over one person, have to ditch the chair

Literally no fun unless you subvert the AI first, and then you might as well just have it fludd

>tfw we just be cheeky little shits all shift instead of murderbone mcedgelord

Mime antag

>He doesn't do the powergayman thing
You cannot be contained