Park near the front so little Jimmy can do a hit and run trying to park

>park near the front so little Jimmy can do a hit and run trying to park
>park near the back so Tyrone can jack your wheels
How does Veeky Forums survive parking lots?

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I take the bus

I don't go to malls, supermarkets or practically any other place than home where my car is left unattended for more than 5 minutes.

I ride my motorcycle and park in a corner somewhere or in the dedicated MC parking.

Not living in America also helps.

I bought shitty Sparco wheels for my DD. Nobody is going to steal a $500 set of wheels from an Integra. They'll just steal the whole car instead.

employee parking

I live in a nice neighborhood without Tyrones.

I don't live in america

Avoid minivans
Avoid crossovers
Avoid women
Avoid parking next to fat people

I like to use BMW's and Audi's as cover. I'll park one space away from them and usually nobody will park in between as they dont want to scratch a "yuropeeeon luxry" car

>he thinks people give a fuck about BMWs in America

>see 2011 civic SI in back of parking lot
>know he parked there to avoid dents
>actually cares about a civic
>park directly next to him
>laugh at giant mugen spoiler as i walk away, know he will be mad

Double park in the handicap zone

>some legless faggot keys your car
Nice job, idiot.

I drive a Saturn ion, no one wants to steal anything from it and I never deal with dents

i park in the "customer with child" spaces beside the handicap ones

>walking to my 2011 civic si
>some neckbeard parked directly next to me even though I purposefully parked in the middle of nowhere
>rub my nutsack on his drivers door handle

park in the only spot available

>Park with no one around me
>Come back and there's bird shit on my car

This
I just use all these "with kids" and "for women" parking places ain't no way these people gonna assume my gender and in my heart I always carry my inner child.
But don't use the spaces reserved for handicapped that's just rude.

Don't drive anywhere

Those are soccer mum spots, the are the worst time of people to park near
>massive SUV
>minimal driving skill
>dumbass kids
You'll be lucky do get only a door-ding
I make sure I say away from there and park in corner spots

They are the worst type***

>park way away from shop entrance, only car in whole line of parking spots is mine
>come out of shop 10 min later
>a car is parked RIGHT NEXT TO FUCKING MINE

These people ought to be shot. Sometimes when the driver is present I just stand there and stare them down like the retards they are.

Says the retard who thinks they own someone else's property.

I don't live in Somalia

I have a 500 dollar shitbox with a straight pipe for shopping, haters gonna hate

>see fairly empty parking lot
>see lone BMW
>park next to it

>having to live like this

Just park somewhere where they have security, you dinguses.

I think you should print some copies of your pic, and leave it on their windshield next time.

by not living in a third world shithole

somebody lock up this madman

> autistically stares at someone because they parked next to muh shitbox
> gets ignored because nobody cares

How is it going through life knowing that you're such a bitch?

>I live in a nice neighborhood without Tyrones.
They actually commute out to your homes to burgle them and then commute back. Our buses have bike racks, so that gives tyrones and other homeless a lot of roaming range to even scout out places. Subsidized and free buss passes did a lot to encourage crime way out in the suburbs.

t. Fattie in a mk1 focus shitbox

i park like a complete douche

but at the very end of the parking lots, completely fucking far from everyone else so i don't inconvenience anyone.

wouldkey/10

by not living in a 3rd world country

>I don't live in america
this

this

I park in the back and drive a car with stock wheels, typically next to a curb on one side so I only have 1 parking space adjacent to my car

>How does Veeky Forums survive parking lots?
Park sort of in the middle area and keep the front of the car "head in" for parking spaces. Sloppy people backing out swipe your rear panel or rear corner. So if you park "head out", that means those sloppy people can bash your more expensive front end or even your headlights.

if you live in america drive manual its the #1 anti-theft for dindus

>i park like a complete douche
>but at the very end of the parking lots, completely fucking far from everyone else so i don't inconvenience anyone.
Unlike Will Smith (fresh prince of bel aire) who likes to park using 1.5 (e.g. 2 spaces) spaces at his favorite star bucks. One customer complained about unequal treatment and star bucks kicked that customer out. Face it, rich or famous people deserve the last space on the life boat. And they'll get it.

Veeky Forums in a nutshell.

>touching someone elses property
>ever

>touching someone elses property
>ever
Dindu parking lot behaviour. I've come back to my parked car and noticed the door handle felt greasy or crusty from dirty hands trying to open the door. It's why I carry both isopropyl alcohol and wet wipes in the car to clean my hands after I touch the door handle.

I park next to curbs/dividers/landscaping, as close as I can get to them. Usually back in to spots and keep my car extremely clean, so my car stands out as "one thing is not like the other" in a line up of cars. It guarantees at least one side is protected from idiots, and that it is highly visible.

>It guarantees at least one side is protected from idiots
Same here.

I also park closer to that protected side. This leaves a bigger gap on the side that cars can park next to me. This reduces the chance of door dings from teenagers. I see in the mall those teens often casually fling their doors open to the full open position. So any car next to them gets dinged.

i ride a motorcycle so I don't have to worry about this shit.

>go to con in Reno
>make 14 hour drive from Phoenix
>at hotel before the con starts
>everybody wants to go to the mall because build a bear
>elect not to drive because I've driven a lot in the last day and my truck can't comfortably fit four
>friend of friend who's rooming with us drives
>go to the mall
>everyone has a good time
>leaving
>parking spaces are angled for easy entry and exit
>guy driving goes the opposite way he should but the parking lot is basically empty and there isn't any traffic
>except for a truck behind us in another space
>guy driving backs up at speed right into the bumper of the truck
>not even slowly just a good solid hit
>gets out
>looks at the truck and his car
>doesn't even leave a note
>drive back to hotel
>like nothing even happened
That guy was an asshole

This has worked for me so far.

drive your shitbox if you have to park in public. Never take the nice car to those situations.

>go to con
Convention goers are all in "fun attitude only" asshole mode. I've been to various anime cons (yeah, mock me) and some of the mockery is deserved from seeing how some people sloppily park. I sat in my car as a peaceful waiting spot between certain events and to store loot in the trunk. Saw two hit and runs where people back into someone's car and just take off.

Things would be different if there was both a reward for reporting hit and runs and if the penalty for hit and run was larger. Right now, it is almost always worth doing a hit and run. The penalty needs to be over 10x the cost of the typical repair plus a jail sentence (suspended or commuted after serving 1 to 3 days). Over here, hit and run results in points off the license, but there is usually no criminal record. So no wonder people are encouraged to do hit and run. Even soccer moms.

>just park somewhere where they have some uneducated fuckhead who gives no shits about your car working for 8.25 an hour and is very unlikely to do anything in the event that something happens
;~^)

If you drive a piece of shit, you won't care if it gets scratched and nobody will want to steal it. Shitboxes 4 lyfe

Didnt you made a big post about it some weeks ago?

>How does Veeky Forums survive parking lots?
>park near the back so Tyrone can jack your wheels

Don't know about your area, but in my area, I see broken car window glass on the ground in the farthest 1/3 of the parking lot. That's for mall parking lots and the walmart lot. Because of that pattern, I try to park closer to the entrance and where the patrol guy passes by.

Because of parking lot crimes, the two walmarts in my metro area stopped allowing overnight cars, campers, vans, and RVs parking there. The police no longer give out warnings but now issue citations whenever they see either a loiterer or homeless person trying to camp.

Something is going on since no loitering signs go up, but then someone will knock it down or saw it down if it is on a wooden post. My city still uses wooden sign posts in some areas especially if they are subject to getting hit by cars. Presumably, the homeless knock the signs down or have a tool to remove the signs since even some metal posts disappear or are bent down to the ground.

>How does Veeky Forums survive parking lots?
Don't park on sides or edges that allow loiterers or homeless to congregate or hide. The parking lot that is closest to where they come from has the cars that will be hit first.

Parking garages are the worst. Those always have stairwells on all sides. Car prowlers use those stairwells since they don't look like loiterers.

You can also learn something from interviews with car thieves. Here is one of those TV documentary shows that put one episode towards interviewing some usa car thieves.

youtube.com/watch?v=AGYh-Pl67aQ

youtube.com/watch?v=yCTggr07feU

that shit fake as fuck my nigga. I mean the info is accurate but lelelelel

My car has a pretty big dent on top of the trunk from when my dad had it. He lived in an apartment complex next to a WalMart and parked next to the dividing wall. Long story short, sometime in the night some jackass(es) confused it for a stepladder when crossing the wall.

Nowhere is safe. Better off not owning a car and staying home forever.

>Nice car stays in garage and within eye range when outside
>Shitty beater to do everything else

Why are european so obsessed to only have a single car?

>park anywhere
>walk inside
>greet atleast half the people you meet inside, as you know them
>greet the cashier
>pay for your stuff
>say goodbye to the cashier
>walk outside
>greet anyone you know on the way out
>get in your car, which is the exact same way you left it
>drive home

>norway
>greeting people

Quite a small town, and through my work/free time activities I get to know a lot of people, and as such you kinda know "everyone"

I also have a very strong "look" from my fathers side, with both my father and grandfather being very well known & respected within the community, with the result of me often being approached by people out on town (usually 40+ years) who just go "You HAVE to be John's son/Magnus's grandson"

>Defending Will Smith AND Starbucks in one post
Jesus fucking christ kill yourself

I pay Tyrone to shoot anyone who gets near my whip

>install 15 ton electromagnet in door
>set to come on if it feels shock
>typically someone rams their door into mine trying to exit their vehicle
>their door instantly collapses into mine and is stuck there until the battery bank depletes
>their door is destroyed and they are stuck there for about an hour or until I come back
>they try to drive off and end up tearing their door off and it sits there stuck to my car as a permanent trophy

>semi trailer nudges your car
>electromagnet activates
>your car lodges itself to the trailer
>when you come out of the store its already halfway to Minnesota

>bike gets eaten by Kathy the Soccer Mom's GMC

You should have thought before you influenced her precious children with that screaming death trap.

Why would a semi trailer try to park up in a parking lot.
Also shit nigga I live in California, that's a fast trip

>Why would a semi trailer try to park up in a parking lot.
To deliver user's electromagnet car to me, in Minnesota.

Park in the back. There aren't very many Juans or Tyrones where I live. Quite a few dumbasses with shit boxes and no insurance and drivers who are practically blind, though. I swear, I park in the back of a desolate parking lot with at least 30 other spots and some fuck parks next to me and scratches my car.

I was parked next to a planter while at work and I came back to see a huge dent in my front fender. The fuck that did it drove off. I still have it because it's a pain in the ass to take off the fender. Why Volvo used standard rivets that you have to DRILL out over pop-rivets baffles me.

youtube.com/watch?v=ypekGNjHTRM

Forgot about that show, used to watch it all the time late at night as a kid

>that shit fake as fuck
It cannot be filmed in progress with them king-hitting car owners or filming in a neighborhood when they jack the car. The cameraman and sound handler and host are three people and would get caught not to mention all those bright filming lights stand out.

So yeah, interviews are with the thieves but it cannot be during a real crime scene. The camera crew would be charged as accessories to the wounded car owner.

>I mean the info is accurate
The documentary series doesn't seem to be lying. The full episode is 44 minutes and a lot of it is trying to build sympathy for the thieves. The thieves say they are FORCED to a life of crime because no one will hire them with decent living wage jobs. So that's how they got started stalking and beating up car owners for the key fob.

If you see the whole show, then you see their explanation of how they go after someone in a parking garage. If you try to resist, you'll get hurt or shot by the team. Teamwork!

Or they will follow particularly nice cars on their way home and carjack the car at the house. Or they drive around in parking garages looking for good cars and then park nearby, chill in their car as they wait for the owner to show up.

Black Market - New Jersey carjacking
youtube.com/watch?v=AASm4YfiywQ

The show has brief interviews with some carjackers as well as commentary about one method that makes carjacking successful. That is to drive fast and recklessly and risk hitting lots of pedestrians. The police will stop chasing in most cases. Then they deliberately drive across a police jurisdiction line and that lets them get away from police that are following them. The things you learn from carjackers!

Cum all over your car that way its safe because no one wants to touch a car with cum all over

Drive a hideous enough vehicle that I can leave the motherfucker running outside The front door or in the very back spot with the windows down and nobody will touch it.

Your dirty car doesn't matter. The thieves will part it out based on what they can sell the parts for on the parts information network.

>park beside islands

only one car beside you

>park in the back of the lot

move out of the nigger infested shit hole if car theft is common

>park in drive in/drive out spots at the end of a row

you're just minimizing the likelihood that a shitter will scratch the corners of your car by letting them drive straight in and out of a parking spot.

>park in teacher/employee parking assuming it isn't reserved spaces.

this works well at schools where enforcement is infrequent. no kids, and you know when teachers and staff will usually leave

>parallel park across the street

good choice for trucks with aftermarket bumpers

>drive a shit heap

obviously the easiest solution is to drive a car that isn't going to be devalued by scuffs on the end of the bumper or door dings.

there are people that do this. there is nowhere safe.

fuck

>park in drive in/drive out spots at the end of a row
That can be risky because usually the ends (at mall lots) face a bunch of parked cars that have to back out. So those cars can back out right into the side of your car.

The thieves will steal your
seed and sell it to the government.

Your kids will be genetically engineered super soldiers.

>getting out of your car

i live in reno. this doesnt surprise me one bit.
ps dont come back