I want one. Tell me why I shouldn't

I want one. Tell me why I shouldn't.

...

Worse handling and mileage than a semi-modern truck with less than half the practicality.

>I want one.

Then just get one, good grief.. If you have the money for gas and maintenance then don't let me or anyone stop you, get your ass to the dealer or wherever they're selling that car and just get it.

>Gas Mileage
>Poor Handling in snow and icy conditions
>Air Suspension rots away, best to swap to coils right away
>Hot/Cold airblender motor is made of plastic gears, and breaks. Cost several hundred dollars in labor to fix that
>Brake lines rust real easily and are inconvenient to get to in the rear
>Sparkplug work is expensive if you dont do it yourself
Thats all I can think of the top of my head.

It's a perfectly fine automobile. Not really good at anything but if you like it, cool. They're fairly comfortable. If I were you I'd look hard for a Marauder instead, not be able to find one, look at P71s, not like what I see, look at Town Cars, then look at the LS, and eventually get something with a similar bodystyle but nicer.

But I'm not you. Follow your heart.

They're the best Panther bodies. They don't have the sigma of the Crown Vic/P71, they don't have the thousand unique parts to break and fake-luxury of the Town Car, and they won't empty your wallet like trying to find a non-molested Marauder. IMO 92-02s are the best looking Marquis before they had to start using Crown Vic fenders for 03+, but that's opinion.

They are also slow and drive like the quintessential road-boat, but have enough torque you won't ever get stuck on a hill or behind a bicyclist. The gas mileage is mediocre but better than you'd expect for a 4200lb car. Bench seats are cool but give zero support so expect to slide fucking everywhere when turning even at low speeds. The drivetrain will out-last the car as long as it's an 03+ with the new intake or if you swap out the shitty plastic one on a 92-02. Rear seats don't fold down but the trunk is fucking gigantic. Surprisingly tail-happy on snow, ice, gravel, or even less-than-hardpacked dirt; the traction control does a good job keeping it steady but remember to push the button to turn it off before going uphill or coming to a stop or you'll get stuck when it detects one rear wheel starting to spin and cuts the power.

>Sparkplug work is expensive if you dont do it yourself
Not sure why it would be so expensive, it's literally a two hour or less job even doing it yourself. Take off each coil pack (held in place with a single 10mm bolt), get ratchet with spark plug extension, replace plugs, reattach coil packs, done. The only thing that would be slightly in the way is the airbox on the driver's side but that's three bolts and it's off, you don't have to remove the fuel rails like most people think.

How hard do you think it would be to fix up an old 1983 marquis? There's one nearby that I can get for a song(

Marquis or Grand Marquis? The Marquis for that year was on the smaller Fox platform with either an i4 or a 6-cyl, the GM was on the full-size Panther platform with the V8 (and didn't get an overhaul until 1992).

Grand Marquis. I know it has the full V8.

My first car was an 80s oldsmobile, so the big doofy boats with faux woodpaneling, side shifters, and theater seats appeal to me.

Probably pretty easy then, it's got tons of parts that interchange with the LTD Crown Vic and both of them ran right up until 1992 at which point the box-body cars were replaced with the 'aero' bodies that were modeled after the massively successful Taurus (but still rode on the Panther platform and share lots of parts anyway).

Thanks friendly user. I'm not incredibly skilled(I've mostly lurked on Veeky Forums as a casual of the highest order)- but I'm motivated.

GM B bodies are better imo

I'd say go for it if you want

There's an user who browses here who has a Mercury Crown Vic and has consistent problems, its currently got a coolant leak. Just talked to him like an hour ago, I hope he's doing good.

Also remember that for most years up to 2004 with the fifth gen's release, the Panther bodies share an engine and often automatic transmission with that year's Mustang GT, either the 5.0 Windsor and AODE for the box cars or the 4.6 2v Modular and 4R70 for the aeros onwards (some earlier ones have the 5.8 that wasn't in the 'stangs). As you've probably guessed the same engine and trannies also wound up in lots of trucks so if you're strapped for cash and have to do a pick-a-part run, there's rarely a shortage of parts to be found if the engine is the problem area and if you have to go online instead the aftermarket for both the 5.0 and the 4.6 is HUGE. There's a couple differences here and there but usually nothing major, Google will help solve any questions there.

Crown Victoria is the Ford version, the Mercury version is the Grand Marquis.

>Ford Crown Victoria (was originally the Ford LTD Crown Vic, also includes the Crown Victoria Police Interceptor, or 'P71' from its production code)- standard Panther body
>Mercury Grand Marquis- slightly upscale version of the Crown Victoria, but for all intents and purposes it's the same car with different headlights and taillights. Same interior and same options, same trim levels with a different name (Crown Vic base and LX to the GrandMa GS and LS)
>Lincoln Town Car- luxury car, shares the platform and drivetrain but with unique body panels and interior, more luxury options as standard equipment (heated/memory/bench seats, more cupholders, exterior trim pieces, sometimes air ride suspension, etc). Shares less parts with the other two cars and can be harder to find an example in good condition as they're often scapped up for taxi/limo services
>Mercury Marauder- short-lived (2003-04) model that was essentially a Crown Victoria with Mercury badges, different seats, and a more powerful engine out of a top-trim Mustang

this

I'm looking at the Grand Marquis for the more upscale trim (leather seats and whatnot). And I don't want a retired cop car.

They're older and harder to find in my area. And don't they have an even bigger engine that will suck down even more gas?

>the more upscale trim (leather seats and whatnot).
Marquis still came with cloth seats, leather seats had to be optioned on. They do usually have leather, though.

>And I don't want a retired cop car.
Smart choice, P71s are nearly always beat to shit and that's before you even get to the interior and the holes in the roof.

>And don't they have an even bigger engine that will suck down even more gas?
Google gives the same estimates for both a late model B-body and a pre-2003 Panther (17 city, 26 highway), but you're correct, they started with a 305 cu-in engine before changing to two 350s, the latter of which being the same LT1 as in the fourth generation F-body twins and the Corvette (for comparison the 4.6 Modular equates out to 281 cu-in). The B-bodies are noticeably more powerful, though, something that was known even at the time and part of why the Caprice 9C1 police cruisers were in service for so long even after GM stopped production- they were way quicker off the line than the competing Crown Victoria interceptors, and for those looking for speed parts the aftermarket available for the GM small-block V8s is even larger than that of the Ford 5-point-bro.

You're right about them being older and harder to find, though- B-bodies were dead by the turn of the 21st century but the Panther lived on in all its 18 feet of pig iron and leather up to 2011.

>B-bodies were dead by the turn of the 21st century
honestly I wonder why? was it really because people hated the Caprice's design?

How did the B Bodies like the Caprice, the direct competitor to the Crown Vic- fail where the Vic succeeded? Even in fleet sales? Seems like GM just didn't bother to keep the platform alive while Ford stuck to it and upgraded it a bit every now and then

I actually know that guy and he's cooler than you are.
About the same really. It's basically a truck with a car body. Great if you want something to thrash.
Can it go fast? Sure!
Can it turn? You bet!
Can it grip? Yes, but you better know what you're doing. Mods help.

>was it really because people hated the Caprice's design?
Might've been it. People really didn't like that bubble-canopy design. The Crown Victoria had the same style canopy (including the small windows behind the rear doors and round roofline) for a number of years and it's worth noting that excluding fleet car (P71/taxi) sales, the Grand Marquis outsold it pretty much every year until 1998 when they squared the Crown Vic off by giving it the more boxy roofline of the Marquis.

GM could've continued the b body line but realized they could make more money by just pumping out more big ass SUVs because that's really all everyone wanted in the 90s

Lol doubt it

Get the Ford Crown Vic instead. People might mistake you for a cop

>being a whacker

I think he meant that its 8 spark plugs and at the dealer that means rape

I feel you, but I want a Town Car limo. How fucked do you think I'll be on maintenance? Aside from an engine rebuild because of the heavy mileage on fleet cars I figure the air suspension will give me issues.

If someone knows a luxobarge with bench seats that will rape me less than a panther pls speak up before I make a huge mistake.

>If someone knows a luxobarge with bench seats that will rape me less than a panther pls speak up before I make a huge mistake.
Just get a Panther that doesn't have air suspension, then?

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