/ss13g/ - Spessmen on a Spess station

i know this pretty rave girl, always think about her
and when she says hi to me butterflies go right through me

How do you hear her say hi at a rave?
You at babbys first EDM festival or something?

????

Logs of Zealot accidentally copy+pasting his shitpost into an ahelp conversation.

and when i see her dancing i wanna take a chance and
get in a little closer and maybe get to know her

RAVE GIRL

did it died

ded?

What did he mean by this?

removed

I honestly like the new Bay signs more than any of the other ones.
I make it a point to use one of them whenever I bartend.
which is never since i rarely ever get to bartend the actual bar
bar signs being craftable when?

serb?

DED?

ded serb?

I wish quartermasters were actually supervising from their office instead of being cargo techs with sunglasses.

F E A T U R E S

i really wanted to see that cannon battle, too

ded

Awwww. Finally infest someone useful to catch that restraining asshole, and serb dies.

RIP Serb

Do we have a discord?

TIL a single scrubber can cuck the crew

>having a great time teaching a cadet about sec
>ded

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE ONE TIME SEC BRINGS ME HAPPINESS

>ded
I hadn't even finished redoing the floors with wood fug.

Fuuuuuuuuck. I found another artifact and a few alien guns and I didn't get to properly test them at all REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>Retrieve body from morgue to cook
>Check backpack before butchering
>The only thing in his bag is 5 full pizzas

I wish Quartermasters were Head of Service.

My name is Not Important.
What's important is what I'm going to do.

Try bay, whenever I spectate them I just see a billion assistants with special snowflake job titles doing whatever and everyone else is just sitting in an office at a console.

we have a metaclub

Service head should be the Chef. It's French for "Chief".

I was this close to ahelping Rin for sexualizing the prisoner

why serb why why you gotta die the leather business was just startin

I was this close to enforcing a grooming standard upon the station and forcing all the waifus to dye their hippie hair colors

THIS CLOSE

Its for the best, the antag died early and the rest of the round was just a clusterfuck

holy shit the server has been in a bad way recently between lag and crashes
inb4
>Beyond

I wish chefs were actually cooking food instead of putting deep fried grilled gum ball icecream cones on the counter

I wish doctors would actually sit down with me in an examination room and ask me where it hurts instead of tapping me with an analyzer and dragging me to the fridge to force feed me magic pills

>Dont do cargo myself
>Watch as techs send all the crates to botany
>Explain to them how the chutes work
>They send all the crates to medbay instead

>play friends with clown the whole crew
>politely ask him to step down the radio array
>dont charge him for it
>go along with his slippings
>he gives me all his clown gear and an all access ID and tells me to carry the mantle before walking out an airlock
>try to mess with the shoes
>HONK
>deaf for 3 minutes
>mfw

always pays to be friends with the clown

>I wish doctors would actually sit down with me in an examination room and ask me where it hurts instead of tapping me with an analyzer and dragging me to the fridge to force feed me magic pills
Back to bay faggot

1. Get a bioprinter
2. Deepfry organs
Job's done, man, Job's done

I was brooke burns, Bartender vamp. I joined a UFC fighting league and was beheaded for using my vamp powers. Later, the assistant I fought stitched me together out of honor, I then accomplished ALL of my objectives as a monkeyperson, then the server crashed, maybe because I set the AME to blow. My greentext wouldve been so glorious, especially since everyone thought I was dead.

jokes on you i was being ironically :^)

>janitor bot killing the label for the vox room in the bar
>a single scrubber in the vox room entrance cucks the entire bar when it turns the airlock into a vacuum chamber
Wew. Thanks for the pointers other MoMMI guy.

good round

>Tell Security I put your head in the cake.
>They incinerate the cake.

One day I'm making a giant ZAS machine by that principle

Sometimes I just go to the chemist and tell him what I need or even pay him.
Speaking of, overhaul of current economy system when? I want to pay for healthcare and ghetto services being a thing.

>weird fat shirtless probably thrall man tells me there is a head in the cake
>cut all the slices out
>legit thought it was a glitch and the cake absorbed the head

that was odd

>medborgs are great they said
>can't even give pills to people, have to throw every single pill on the ground and hope someone feeds it to the patient instead
>no anti-tox, have to fill the beaker with it
>only one beaker
>can't put people to sleep for surgery without chloral
>can't clean surgery
>not even a light to find dead people in the dark or anything
>can only administer triweak, spaceuseless and inapritstoolate, and with upgrades, only doctor's delight and dex+, as if dex+ was ever useful for anything
>no kelotane or bicardine let alone keloderm and shit
>no dispensable dylovene
can't open morgue trays (not tested, maybe it's a special case like cryo?)
>revival prod doesn't even put people out of sleep, let alone revive anything
>need an upgrade for fucking defib
>not even a needlegun
Not even pathetic is as pathetic as this.

I blame the coders
Peer review, whats that? :^)

It's a communist space station, there's no economy.

teaching a cadet was nice and fun and made me feel less jaded for once

hope i was helpful

>dex+
>not useful

Do they legit not do reviews on PR? Just feature votes?

Imagine being so widely regarded as a fuckup by everyone in the community and still being admin after all this time

i tried this once but it was more like

>clown asks me for help so i help him
>we hang out for a bit doing stupid crap
>he has me follow him into the maint tunnel for a ''surprise''
>he was a ling

never again

>naked man was playing music completely naked in the sec lobby the entire time
>sec didn't attempt to arrest him or even tell him to put clothes on or anything
?

It's not. Either someone is taking oxy damage because they're in crit or in a low-oxygen room, or they don't take oxy damage. And in the former case you just have to bring them out of crit and outside oxygen-free rooms and they'll heal on their own.

i dont think space law prohibits nudity so what exactly did he do wrong

How was engineering that round?

>ai checks pda messages
>it's rin and emilia erping, as usual
>n-no that never happens p-please don't report us t. waifus

It's really a simple "does probe like this?" system

Show proof with logs or get the fuck out

kinda confused on why half your machinery was in cargo but otherwise fine

this.
>once arrested a bunch of assistants for indecent exposure and got a bwoink because they whined about it.

I've been arrested for it before, they usually say some shit about indecency and not having proper identification.

>parameding
>gas mask assistant says someone is hurt in maint
>know somethings up but follow anyway
>culted
If you avoid traps like that the round is less interesting for both of you.

ahelp it. if the admin is any good they'll take your side.
what kind of world gives an okay to cooking and eating a mans crotch but freaks out when you look at it

>[10:26:05]PDA: Rin Fukuimoto (PDA: PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)) sent "well, you heard what he said~ " to PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)
>[10:26:29]PDA: Emilia Davidson (PDA: PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)) sent "Hmm~?" to PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)
>[10:26:43]PDA: Rin Fukuimoto (PDA: PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)) sent ""Special Consideration Given to those that have skills acting as a vampire previously!"" to PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)
>[10:27:01]PDA: Emilia Davidson (PDA: PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)) sent "Shhhh...." to PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)
>[10:29:34]PDA: Emilia Davidson (PDA: PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)) sent "You are one to talk~" to PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)
>[10:29:40]PDA: Rin Fukuimoto (PDA: PDA-Rin Fukuimoto (Head of Security)) sent "shh" to PDA-Emilia Davidson (Assistant)

not really ERP but kinda cringey

he seems pretty chill, I'd imagine that sec gives him some slack for that

...

>naked man takes things from vault including a gun
>let him go with no charge

he is a cool guy, what can i say

jesus

the babby is you if you aren't familiar with pretty rave girl

i dunno i think its fun to say NO to evilness sometimes
i remember one time a medic knocked me out and took me to surgery and put a bomb in my chest. he said dont tell anyone or he'll blow me up. so i beat him to death with the circle saw since he was dumb enough to tell me this when still in surgery
figured if he blows me up when im next to him its not gonna go well for him. or if its such a small explosive he can just det me without an issue it'll be a learning experience
he didnt det me though he just died.

>tfw hands up will never be a thing again
I love that rob mayth is still going but damn, even happy hardcore artists are dying out.

No, it's because of his ties to Nanotrasen. Security bows to the naked man. He was the one who made the call that saved the station.

That wouldn't be bad if it was once or twice. Shit happens every single fucking shift among the same people all the fucking time, and usually culminates in special treatment.

FACTUAL BORG TIER LIST

>Engiborg
>Janitor borg
>Peace keeper
>Budget miner
>The one that makes cigars
>Medic
>Combat
>LMAO STANDARD

This is factual whether they good or bad

That may have been the right thing to do considering he left you with the tools, but I'm sure it would have at least been a bit more fun trying to explain to security about the bomb without saying the word 'bomb'

The shit Rin and Emilia were saying out loud was creepy as fuck too

l o g s

youtu.be/HtRZFGUJnOA
remember to maintain a healthy degree of separation from the game.
go outside, bathe.

I ain't digging through them

Nah. You forgot the real top tier: pre-select. Also LMAO STANDARD is actually better than anything below engi.

>no anti-tox, have to fill the beaker with it
What else are you going to use the beamer for?Just fill it with anti tox or use charcoal in your hypospray. Honestly just inject them with 50u of DD.

>can't put people to sleep for surgery without chloral
Just tell them to go to sleep like every doctor does or use the sleeper and inject sophoric.

>not even a light to find dead people in the dark or anything
This has to be bait, you have a flashlight.

>can only administer triweak, spaceuseless and inapritstoolate, and with upgrades, only doctor's delight and dex+, as if dex+ was ever useful for anything
More bait, Inject 50u of DD.
>dexp useless

>no kelotane or bicardine let alone keloderm and shit
Sleepers have unlimited of these or just inject 50u of DD like always and use the trauma kits for bad spots.

>revival prod doesn't even put people out of sleep, let alone revive anything
Neither does shaking, just use a sleeper or the microwave.

This post has to be bait or you don't even play medbay. Not to mention if someone grinds the plasma for you that mediborgs are vastly superior doing chemistry.

i disagree. i would rank them as such:

>Engiborg
>Mediborg
>Standard borg
>Combat
>Peacekeeper
>Miner
>Janiborg
>the one that makes ashtrays

the reason the standard borg is good is because it has a little bit of everything and is ALWAYS useful. if you need to stun some harmful fuck with sunglasses, if you want to soap some blood up with an autoclicker, if you want to extinguish a fire, if you want to patch up someone who got ZAS'd, if you want to have the MOST RADICAL WEAPON when emagged, then standard borg is the way to go.

the medborg is better than the standard borg simply because it can fix up a human in so many different ways and it gets polyacid, and the engiborg is the king because it's the engi fucking borg

>[10:43:39]WHISPER: PootisManiac/(Rin Fukuimoto) (Interrogation Room - 217,293,1): guess you have to be punished~
>[10:43:49]WHISPER: RFultra/(Emilia Davidson) (Interrogation Room - 217,292,1): Noo~

>[10:47:04]SAY: Rin Fukuimoto/PootisManiac (@216,284,1) As Galactic Common : But, since you are cute, i'll give you 10 minutes and a warning..
>[10:47:14]EMOTE: Emilia Davidson/RFultra (@216,285,1): Emilia Davidson Blushes
>[10:47:26]SAY: Emilia Davidson/RFultra (@218,284,1) As Galactic Common : Jeez... isn't that risking your job...

Rin seems to be like this towards all "waifus" and Emilia and Avada go along with it. It's really quite creepy, pretty sure people have been banned for similar "disturbing sexual/erotic behaviour" before.

>so retarded he doesn't know that you need upgrades for half this shit and the other half of the solutions are literally made up
lol

>when you work for the same corporate entity in the same facility and receive the same wages but your coworkers still demand that you pay them to cooperate with you during the workday and the parent company actively encourages this in spite of it's negative effect on productivity and the employee mortality rate