I asked my boss for a raise and he says he'll only give it to me if I beat him in a race on Monday. He says that if I lose he will fire me.
We are located in an industrial part of town with lots of empty roads so the race is going to go down on the street. Does anyone have any tips on street racing with your boss?
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Let down his tires.
this sounds so lame that it couldve been in FnF 1
heres a protip: to win a street race you have to win
kek
Unplug knock sensor
>The first step to winning is finishing first
Nos
>have a faster car
>finish first
>sugar in his fuel tank
Air his tires up to 90+ PSI
Fuck you mang that was a good movie
The rest of them are shit, however
*BRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPP*
My gf has an ass like that where she has all the ass meat more in the middle than the edge of her ass if that makes sense.
No, show us?
So she has a dick is what you're saying?
>shoes without socks
never has my boner been so flat in my entire life
it deflated user. like a sad balloon animal.
She's wearing at least one sock though.
>not imagining those cute toes in there squirming around getting all sweaty
Also she's plainly wearing black socks.
wow, she was doing it for me, then I caught a glance at her taste in music.
clearly this image just isn't worthy of hard dongs.
en.wikipedia.org
I'll never get hard again
This the best I can do for you my dude pls like comment and subscribe
What's wrong with Soundgarden?
drought
BACK THE FUCK OFF??!
Lol. Do you just take creepshots to jack off to in the bathroom at work?
tfw no gf
>in my fevered and very vivid zzzquill dreams i had a gf
>my drooling woke me up
Tell your boss to swap your engine for a Group A high revving before the race.
Is she a pornstar? Name?
Kek I'm not that kind of guy dude my girlfriend sends me pictures of her ass sometimes
Tell her to learn how to make a damn picture
This sounds like irl anime. Do you also work as a food delivery boy?
No one even asked what either the OP or the boss drives yet?
Probably an AE86 and a 22B
Tell her to send you some with no pants on nigger
I chose to post the shittiest one kek you'll never get one with her white ass cheeks showing
Tell your girlfriend to send you some fgt if you want ass pictures
Why does everyone say sugar? Sugar isn't soluble in gasoline, and if you really wanna fuck with it, it's just as easy to add just plain old water
I'm going to bone your sister and post the pics on your facebook you fucking malaka.
>Why does everyone say sugar? Sugar isn't soluble in gasoline, and if you really wanna fuck with it, it's just as easy to add just plain old water
it could clog up the pickup.
I drive a Honda Fit, boss drives some kind of Audi 2 dr.
I've added Styrofoam to gasoline, but I'd love to see Styrofoam in a (somebody else's) gas tank. I don't hate anyone enough though. Might just crap up the injectors, who knows
I don't have a Facebook or a sister ya goof
You fucking lost, only way to win is rigging or you secretly have a k swap under the hood.
Rent a different car
...
just shoot your boss, boom you don't get fired, and since it's in the industrial part no one will give a shit, just anotha dead nigga in the streets
Doesn't that produce napalm? I want to beat my boss in a race, not kill him.
Is that a picture of yourself user?
It doesn't "produce" anything, it just makes gasoline thicker.
Yes my name is tylerone
>never has my boner been so flat in my entire life
when your boner depends on shit like this; it's like you're looking for an excuse to stay flaccid. Geez.
you don't understand; im running at peak flatness.
youd have to use calculus to plot the depths of the valley my bonerlevel is at on a graph.
Drag race? Or with corners and shit?
Drop all unnecessary weight, and practice your launches. Hopefully there's not a huge deficit in power.
Can't. Haven't got laid in five years m8.
>here come all the virgins to make fun of my horrific dry spell
fucking women is worse than going 5 years without.
Was about to say this
Do this
How so? You prefer penis?
don't lay with the fucking parasites. they will completely rob you of your soul.
look for a wife and resist temptation. it's the right choice for your mind.
Hilary Craig. She's just done a few softcore shoots for a single site.
Damn my dude you're not really missing out on anything to be honest and having a girlfriend sucks like 90% of the time
rent any sports car for the day, this is your only chance at beating him
He said it has to be my car. He said Audi is better than Honda and that I don't need more money because I don't have the sense to spend it on a good car like Audi. He said my Honda is a piece of shit and he will humiliate me for driving a quote "bitch mobile" in front of the entire office staff. Some of my colleagues have been saying all of last week that if I don't beat him they might not talk to me again.
Just kys
assuming this is real just file a harassment claim and laff all the way to the bank.
Isn't that the coward's way out?
Better than giving in.
>working for a man that calls you out in front of the entire staff because you drive a common, reasonable and normal car
No, fuck him.
But if I race him there's a chance that I might beat him and become a hero like in my movie
-films.
lose then sue your boss for unjust termination.
and stickier
>pretend gay
>be 2017
>it's not longer acceptable to hate on homos
You'll basically walk away with sympathy from attractive girls, pick the one you want and claim she turned u straight and live a good life w/ your Honda.
this situation is like hitting the lotto
if you report him u wont have to work for a few years
I definitely don't miss being forced to interact with family members. Why do girls always get so excited about the family shit? I would be perfectly content to never meet them lol
Also being forced to sit with her and watch stupidass movies... Really?! You're a grown-ass woman and have a drawer full of Disney movies? Were you fucking molested or something?
>pick the one you want and claim she turned u straight
>thinking girls won't be turned off by a guy who's had dicks in his mouth
Jesus fuck, what car do you/he have?
Why has nobody asked this?
...
They'll have something in common.
Literally any Audi in existence will beat a Honda Fit. OP is fucked.
Just went there and got stuck in a vortex of ass/pussy shots. Managed not to fap though.
An Audi 50 not beat it.
*might not
...
you sure
It's a 2 door Audi, it fits the description.
>Sugar isn't soluble in gasoline
exactly
>autist busrider threads taking over Veeky Forums
c..can w-we just back to being a normie board
>summerfag threads year round fampai
dude
asses
lmao
Would be so annoyed if she was my gf and went to the gym like that. She's clearly advertising that pussy. No need to dress like that to work out.
>dating trash like this
this is the kind of bitch you bust a nut in a couple times and run away before she drags you down with her baggage
Don't get me wrong, she's attractive. But that's like if I went to the gym in my boxer briefs and had my fucking nuts in everyone's face. Obnoxious attention-whoring at its finest.
I know hookers that are classier
>thinking she doesn't exclusively date black guys
...
...
McDees shakes are literally the worst in existence. Wendy's frosty is GOAT
probably still fucks white guys if they look like they have money
Same. I got pretty aroused but there wasn't enough material for me to bother squeezing one out.
itt: things that didn't happen
Ehhh. That ass, those shoes, the way she does her makeup... She burns coal at an alarming rate.
ever had Dairy Queen shakes? yum yum yum
With me it's because I quit porn for New Years. I guess it doesn't count if I just look without fapping? Haha
I almost failed when that Paige WWE video came out.
when i drive my e90 coalburner looking hoes come out of the woodwork
>race starts
>crash into him
>assure him you will pay for everything but plead him not to get the police involved
>wait for him to leave
>call the cops
>hit and run
>ow my neck
>buy a better