Im fucked m8s

Im fucked m8s.

>be 30yo neet with no past career to speak off
>suddenly meet highschool mates after a decade
>they stuck together and are now high level professionals
>i dont want to admit defeat so i lie and tell em im a vetted paralegal
>it clicks and one of them tells me to go for me a job possibility in the company he works for
>he'll put in a good word for me and guide me through the position, its a slam dunk.
>i hold it off hoping he'll leave it alone
>he doesnt and keeps asking for my resume
>i never completed college, never held a job above menial labor and live at home. I fucking suck senpai.
>he keeps asking me.

Mfw.

How do i get out of this mess? Help me senpai.

Why did it end up like this?

>30
>no degree or trade school yet

Just tell him you held back because you felt uncomfortable about rejecting his well-intended offer, but you aren't interested.

If I was NEET I would scrounge up what money I could and buy a cheap plot of land in idaho and work at a gas station or walmart part time and grow my own food. If I didnt survive, it wouldnt be much of a loss.

I know senpai. I suck.

Im intending to get rich with stocks desu.

Hm, wont that sound ungrateful and strange? Especially as i inferred i wasnt making much hours and wasnt really satisfied where i am?

Hes offering me a golden opportunity (more hours and a big pay according to him) and putting his name on the line.

I feel i need something more persuading.

You have to tell another lie to get out of it. Tell him you are not interested because your getting out of paralegal and doing something else and he'll drop it.

Just don't get caught up in your own web of lies, That's the thing about lying. You have to keep up with all the lies you've told people.

Used to have a childhood friend who moved away some 8 years ago or so. We don't really stay in touch, but I texted him a "Happy New Year" and so we started chatting a bit. We both started Uni around the same time, he's already got his Bachelors degree and is working on his Masters. Me, I have pretty much given up and don't even have my Bachelors yet. He asked me if I got my degree and I didn't want to say yes or no, so I just replied "I'm working towards becoming an entrepreneur".
>Cool, in what field? I might be interested in joining you.
I haven't replied.

>get rich with stocks
With whos money you ingrate

Just tell the truth, financial status is nothing to be ashamed about in this day and age. Especially with your friends. If they give a shit about you they'll help you out by fixing you up with a job somewhere, if not ditch them because they're faggots.
If you were my friend and came to me for support I'd help you the fuck out.

It's too late for that now. He lied to avoid embarrasment. Telling them he lied to avoid embarrasment will only make OP's situation that much more embarrasing.

I have a feeling I'm way less socially retarded than either of you and lying to avoid embarrassment is so common his friend would not give a shit unless he was as autismal as him.

Yes, i think ill tell him im somewhat tired of paralegal work and dont feel like i would have the right mindstate to file an application that would do him justice.

Better safe than sorry.

I saved up money from my jobs you bitch.

I will make it.

Yes, but its too late for that. Im in too deep.

I also dont want to look bad. They are doctors, pilots, engineers.

Dont want to tell em im a basementdwelling neet.

>"I'm intending to getrich with stocks"
>"I saved up money from my jobs"
>"I will make it"

No, you won't. A 30 year old fucking neet retard who has to lie to look cool and is now bitching on Veeky Forums about it.

You're not making it. You're just some no-drive, lazy faggot who thinks they can get rich off of stocks without knowing dick about the markets.

kys, you fag.

No really, i will get rich from stocks.

I just need some time.

Ill turn 5k into 100k and from there its easy to get to 1 million.

If you have a couple grand i recomend just putting it in either utility stocks or real estate.

Don't go chasing fantasies of getting rich quick. Unless your like Rain Man and can anlyze hundreds of charts and data per second it's unlikely the stock market will make you rich.

I think honesty may be the best policy here. The friend may still be able to hook him up with an entry level position or an internship or something. If it gets awkward just cut all contact. What is there to lose?

Careers > Investments

Make the right choice, find a trade or a degree, work at it with part-time education while holding a full time job.

If my mother can get a degree in math while holding down a job and having a kid, you can do it too. Your life will improve drastically if you just get past these early hurdles (even if you're later than most)

You do gooders just don't understand the way people work do you.

He already lied. That alone means he's untrustworthy and unworthy of working for them, They will never hire him at this point. Best to just make up a small lie and be done with it.

>tfw 25 and making a stable 60k a years without a degree.

Did I make it bros?

Now get a degree part time and get more dosh

You never win at life, you just keep improving till you die or you fail

Jesus OP. Just him that you like your current job and you're not interested.

easy

just accept your friends help.

he probably already knows you dont do jack shit and thats why he wants to help.

what good is pride and ego when you have nothing to be proud of?

>Ill turn 5k into 100k and from there its easy to get to 1 million.
do something useful with it
do you have some technical knowledge? use it

In the grand scheme of things, 30 isnt very old. You still have time to get an education and a career.

Most important thing is right this second, you change your mindset and outlook.

Accept the fact you are a huge fuck up
Accept the fact that you are a perennial failure.

Tell your friend the truth, if he is really your friend he wont demean you, in fact could help you.

Use your fuckups as a learning experience.

Once you have done this, you can move forward in your life. It gets much better, I promise.

One piece of advise I give people which really helped me and most others is to learn how to meditate and incorporate mindfulness in your daily life.

Good luck, faggot

I need to focus on buying a house first. Then maybe I'll get an associates or certificate in web design or something I can do on the side.

>Then maybe I'll get an associates or certificate in web design or something I can do on the side.
you don't need a cert, or anything, to become a web designer
just do something, show your work and knowledge to other people and try to get hired

just explain the whole situation holy, if hes a good person he will understand and may even be able to help you out with something more in line with your skills/experience

Meditation is something I'd love to involve in my daily routine, but how I do it? Every suggestion I've found through the internet seems like new age horseshit.

Do you actually know wtf you are doing with stocks? If so, tell him you are getting out of paralegal because you want to focus full time on stocks. Then you get him and all of his associates to throw you some cash to manage for them. There's probably some legal barriers to doing this that you should look into, but otherwise I think you might have an opportunity here.

Try Headspace.

Headspace and Calm are good starters. Both are free and if you are convinced after trying it you can pay for different and more lessons. Try it, do a lesson per day. Each lesson is about 10 to 15 minutes

Yeah that's not how wealth management works lad.

Call him and tell him the truth.
You fucked up in lying, but clearly you feel bad about it. At the end of the day, you're the one eating yourself up with guilt. Its embarrassing to admit you wasted your entire life, but its even more embarrassing to never want to better yourself.

Call.
Ask him if he's busy.
Talk about the other day, you didn't know what went on, but what you said wasn't true. That the truth is, you haven't done much and don't know what to do.

Here's the thing 9/10 times, he'll be slightly disappointed and if you think he's a dickhead, he'll be just that. Move on.
Here's the 1/10, spin move.
"Sorry highschool user, I actually haven't done much and what I said was a lie and wanted to correct what I said because I dont feel right in having lied to you. I actually called to correct that, but more importantly, if I can get some advice on what to do with my life. It seems like you're doing well and maybe I could learn a thing or three from you."

Everyone successful wants to talk about themselves, especially if its someone who wants to be them or learn from them. Take advantage of that.

But as I said, if he cant give you advice or just is negative: move on.
You'll feel bad if you admit you're a failure, but that doesn't mean you can't be successful tomorrow. The day you're a failure is the day you gave up.

no

come out to him instead. you're now a high end fucciboi congrats

He knows you are lying you dumb fuck. It's a running gag between him and the other guys. They are probably out drinking and laughing about how pathetic you are right now. All NEETS are pathological liars.

>call him and tell him the truth.

fuck no. there are thousand ways to get ouf of his neet mess without losing face.

tell them you are going to foreign country or something

lmao b-but /r9k/ keeps telling me neet life is best life? Have they been lying to me?

oh and he keeps asking because he knows you are full of shit and he laughs at you behind your back

>oh and he keeps asking because he knows you are full of shit and he laughs at you behind your back

dont know about that. wagecucks dont think too much

Im sure theyre not as successful as you think they are, a lot of people lie about their careers, I would almost say 98% of people lie. Theyre most likely dead end wageslaves that are in debt because of their car and house that they will pay off in 30 years.

Nice dubs, NEET life IS the best life if you're wealthy, or so autistic you're afraid to go outside and you get autismbux. The ideal is to have both free time and ample money, which gives you true freedom. If you are working, you don't have time to enjoy life, unless your only ambitions are doing stuff on the computer or mobile when you aren't on the clock (or milking the clock), and if you are NEET but little money, you can't do much of anything because everything costs money. What you do have is time though, and there's a lot you can learn and do if you can sleep, eat and use internet at your parent's residence.

Most wealthy people never really get to enjoy it because they got to be wealthy by being workaholics, and never learnt how to enjoy leisure time with no responsibilities or ambitions, and thus they keep working except to take some vacations top play gold or visit a developing tropical island country where they never leave their 5 star resort. Wealth is wasted on the rich, I'm sure you guys have seen many threads all over Veeky Forums of multimillionaires complaining of how depressed they are because of "tfw no gf" or some other stupid bullshit.

So go for it OP, and perhaps even make this a regular thread: OP tries to turn 5k into 1mil. I myself wasted $5k on lottery tickets before I knew anything about investing, so people like you actually give me real hope.

On a final note, just destroy your ego completely. On the rare occasion I encounter someone from high school, and asks me what I've been up to the last 10 years, I have no problem saying "absolutely nothing, I'm a total loser and I don't give a fuck"