Drunk guy stuck his car on top of two cement spheres

Drunk guy stuck his car on top of two cement spheres.
Front sphere is resting on the oil drain pan.

Let's all laugh at him and suggest on what he should do.

go to autozone.
get coil spring spacers.
lift car an inch or so.
drive away

Find the nearest business with a forklift and give the guy $20 to lift it off.

Forklifts can do 2+ tons?

most fork lifts weigh just under three tonnes
the next size up could lift any car easy

Easily. And that car probably weighs less than 2 tons.

Most of your basic bitch warehouse forklifts can do 3000 lb.

That's like, what, a Kia Rio? They're ~2300 lbs.

Update: drunk idiot wants to buy us all a beer if we lift his car by hand while he reverses

with ease, most costco forklifts can do 4k safely, and the homedepot kind can do 6k pretty easily too.
and if lady luck is with you, you'll be near one of these which are usually in the 6-8 ton lift weight class

also, walk to nearest store, get bottle jacks and some cribbing (read: shitty wood) and jack that fucker up, get a sledgehammer and knock the spheres out

Small forklifts can move cars like they're nothing. We have a cheap forklift at work and we moved around one of our lathes, it's 5500lbs empty.

And it was moved when it had tooling, oil, and a bit of coolant in the tank.

drunk guy should walk away from his car and call a tow service and pay the $300 or whatever instead of getting a DUI

Called the cops for drunk driving, enjoy the drunk tank OP

As someone who almost lost a kneecap doing that, it's a terrible idea.

bro i can do 2 tons with my bear hands. i call them thunder and lightning. a ton a piece.

>helping a drunk driver


hue hue hue

He will just take off and leave you behind. And the idea of a drunk guy who already had a proven DUI accident getting more beer.... that is really stupid.

He's going to drive off drunk and side swipe cars on his way home.

Get a hydraulic jack, lift up one end, swivel the car off the thingy, repeat for the other end

>Drunk guy stuck his car on top of two cement spheres.
If those were human bodies, the drunk guy would have kept on going and be gone. Bump. Bump. But in his case, he was not able to hit and run the obstacles since concrete is stronger than a human body.

Sorry, I seem harsh. But I hate DUI since they are hit and runners.

The forklift I use at home Depot can lift 2 full units of 60 pound concrete bags plus some dimensional lumber.
1 unit has 56 bags on it.

Call the police on his ass.