Change oil

>oil filter slips out of your hand and falls into the pan splashing oil all over you

>changing oil with gloves on
>not fapping with your lubed up hands

>third degree burns from steaming synthetic oil that melts your neoprene gloves to your fingers

>start pouring oil
>forgot to put filter in

>using an oil pan
>not using a cat litter bucket

>not having the oil as hot as possible to maximize changeover
>not dropping plug into pan as a matter of course, because you don't want skin or gloves exposed to nasty synthetic scrubbing chemicals in the oil and its just the best way

This Nigga knows whats up

Although its totally possible to keep the plug between your thumb and index fingers without making contact with the oil. I might add that using a lift helps a lot

>not putting some oil on the gasket of the filter (if its like pic related)
>not using a new copper gasket ring for the plug
>Not pulling the plug just before lunch break so the oil has at least 30 minutes to drain

Does everyone here have miniature drain plugs or something? None of the collectors I've seen have holes big enough for the plug... or at the very least they have this small cage that catches it that pulls out

I can't put oil on the gasket. My car oil filter goes into the engine block.

I let it drain over night. At last 8 hours.

See

>removing oil filter
>slips out of my hands and splashes into the drain pan full of dirty oil
EVERY FUCKING TIME

Even with internal filters, you should still apply oil to the mating surface.

>try to take off oil drain plug and curse whoever overtightened it before you
>accidentally crank it down way too hard when you're putting it back on

>Putting old oil into the empty jug
>Funnel shifts
>spill oil on the ground

Does anyone use an oil analysis service?

>>change oil
>>chuck the drain plug in the oil pan

but that's what i do every time because my car needs a new drain plug and copper crush washer every time I change the oil. actually needs two because front and rear sump.

>change oil
>get oil on you

>change oil
>forget pan
>cbf oil all over the lawn and the tyres
lel

That sounds retarded. Documentation, please.

Only people who online date do that shit.

...

>changing oil in driveway
>open drain plug
>slight breeze
>oil sprays everwhere
such is life as an autist

Are you running -50 weight?

you never dumped oil and had wind blow it everywhere? do you live in a vacuum, bubble boy?

No, I drive a miata that requires the front to be lifted to fit my fatfuckmcbabbyhuge drain pan.

I also don't change my oil in the middle of a cyclone.

who /cutfivegallonbucketoilpan/ here?

Don't these tend to fail?

I have a magnetic socket just for oil changes

>Trusting your engine with some shitty valve

I've always used garages, why would you do it out in the elements unless you're poor as fuck

I cut a square out of the side of an old 5 liter oil jug and use that as an oil pan.

>not sucking it out with your mouth
>not smearing oil all over your naked body and fap to smell of your burnt clutch

Why would you do it in garages unless you were poor as fuck? Rich people change their oil in mansions on carpeted floors underneath chandeliers.

This, what's wrong with a fuckin bolt?

Why would I risk the well-being of my engine for the want of a bolt?

>buy used car just before winter
>think I've found all the rust spots and pay a fair price
>don't know when oil was last changed so get 'er up on ramps and get to it
>discover oil pan is rusting and starting to ooze oil
>all 20 plus oil pan bolts now resemble rusty blobs
>wipe pan with acetone, JB weld the danger zone and pray

It held for a year and then I paid someone to put on a new pan. I hate the rust belt.

Thats why I wrote
>(if its like pic related)

You guys obviously have filter elements which really dont need any oil. I was talking about filter cartridges

Also
>not tightening the filter cartridge with a piece of sand paper because both the filter and your hands will be too slippery to hand-tighten it properly

I want to take a moment to address the ever so polarizing issue of replacing the crush washer. Do you do it?

In the five years that I have been wrenching on my motorcycles and cars, I have never once replaced the crush washer. I've done countless oil changes and never had a single problem.

Don't do that with synthetic!

>oil plug is a shit hex screw design and not a bolt
>it's fucked
>too lazy to like rent a welder and fix it
>end up using an oil pump
>it surprisingly works very well, even though it takes a good 20 minutes of pumping to get the oil out
>much less of a mess afterwards

it's alright, though I can't shake the suspicion I'm leaving a lot of dirty oil behind. I mean the volume of oil coming out is very close to the volume that was poured in the first place, and I add a bit of oil near the end of the pumping to kinda help.

Where to dispose of used oil ?

>Empty oil into large flat pan
>miss judge the amount of oil, there's less than 1/8th of an inch between edge oft he pan and surface of the oil
>have the brilliant idea to empty can into bottles for disposal.
>lift pan
>bends
>charcoal black oil onto new concrete floor
>second time it happens

Dad is right to beat me up

>changing the oil
>engine snake slips out and bites me before slithering away
>have to go to Autozone and tell them I need a new one...again

But they come for free with oil filters

Try the community recycling centre

>his oil drain plug is on the side of the pan and not the bottom

the oil pan is the oil sump on your car, a drain or catch pan is used to drain fluids

you'd sound like a retard if you referred to it as an "oil pan" around anyone serious about cars

what the fuck is wrong with you?

was it really easier to type that in and solve the captcha and sit there hitting refresh than it was to punch "where to dispose of used oil" into your search engine of choice?

>letting your oil get charcoal black

your dad is right to beat you up

>washing car
>spider comes out and runs away
Already lost 6 this way and I dont know where to get them from so I cant replace them

I leave it in front of autzone and leave

That's all auto zone is good for, really.

Am I really the only one in this thread that uses an oil drain pan with a *screen* to catch the bolt??

>it's not rocket science, bitches

you're an asshole, at least have the decency to go in and hand it to them

at this point I just walk in, go to the back, and dump it out myself bc the employees all recognize me and I don't mind taking 30 seconds of my life so as not to inconvenience someone for an already free and convenient service

t. cuck

>Don't these tend to fail?

They now sell these with a retaining clip to prevent the valve from opening on it's own.

I can get them free from a local restaurant, so I have one cut and the rest I fill and give to a neighbor for their waste oil furnace

I have yet to find a well engineered drainpan that will hold at least 16 quarts and won't develop pinholes from being dragged on the concrete or leak from the drain cap. My Powerstroke takes 14 quarts + 1 quart archoil for a drain and fill.

At least you didn't lose the exhaust eagle, those are basically unique to every car.

>not forcing your gf's face in the oil pan while you savagely rail her asshole from behind
OP confirmed prude

>not just pumping 90% of the oil out through the drain plug

>not inviting your friends over to hang out and bullshit while you do this

>not checking the underbody for fluid leaks

>not riding around in your friends car while the oil gets pumped out

Kek

More like this pls

What do you mean by pumping it out?

>copper gasket ring

lol you mean crush washer?

>tfw never changed one ever

Most OEMs sell car spiders as a package with another part and won't sell you them separately. If you don't mind Chinese made car spiders you can get them on ebay.

This guy is cool.

If you can't afford to go somewhere where you don't have to supervise the guy you're not actually wealthy enough to call people poorfags, poorfag.

How often do you change your car spiders? 30k miles?

>the fumoto valve master race

Feels pretty good. Don't have to change the gasket anymore which is my favorite part.

They say 25 but I change then when I see they're starting to wear. They typically last for around 40.

>continuously handle carcinogenic auto fluids with no protection

>get cancer

Wooooow

Seriously though gloves are worth it , 5 $ a box for decent onces, don't have black shit under your nails , and protect your skin.

>getting cancer from your hands
What meme is this

>not taking it to a shop and supervising closely

Quicky lube shops won't touch my car (Porsche 928). Evidently, they fucked up a Porsche once and the boss won't let them touch any more.

When they were still doing them, I asked for a lube level check. Guy spends ages under car and finally comes out "I can't find your transmission." I asked him if he checked the diff lube level. "Yeah, that's OK." Well then, we're good to go. It's a transaxle. "Duh, what?"

And then there's the H.S. dropout looking for where to put the new oil. "It's a German car. 'Oil' in German is 'Oel'. See the cap now?"

NeverAgain.jpg

>changing oil
>it's green like gatorade
what did my car mean by this?

>drop drain plug in the old oil bucket
>fish it out with a magnet on a stick
>living life ez mode

>not knowing your hands have pores, are porous and will absorb minute amounts of everything you handle.

This is why, for example, if you put some liquid lsd on your hands you'll trip even if you didn't ingest it orally

>t. Biology class

>minute amounts
LITERALLY nothing. No cancer for me lmao

>neoprene gloves
nitrile gloves around oil and gas

As long as the drain plug is in, you can pour oil in regardless of the filter being on or not.

t. walmart tech. We do oil changes in pairs, upper and lower, and we pour the oil in as soon as the drain plug is in just about every car. Never makes a mess since the oil won't go through the filter without oil pressure.

>Just finished tightening the crankshaft pulley to 118Nm on the 4A-FE, without any SST

>That little fucker sitting right next to my feet, laughing at me

Better everywhere than on you. That's what happened last time I tried to change my own oil.
This time, I'm putting up boards to block the wind from going under the car.
Can't wait for a flat calm day, those don't exist here.

>How often do you change your car spiders?

> Changing spiders yourself
Just leave the car to sit for a month, and a new spider will appear and move in. It'll fight the old one for supremacy, and the best spider will win.

You also have the sludge or grit that settles at the bottom of the oil pan. It's why draining it from the bottom is better than using a pump at the top.

RIP headgasket

into the local creek

>huge oil leak at oil pan gasket
>park car and decide to take a look at it on the weekend
>leak mysteriously vanishes
>been 3 weeks and it hasn't leaked a bit since
>terrified its going to start leaking again out of nowhere

>just bought new project car
>jack it up in garage and start wrenching
>find two-three huge fucking black widows and a egg sacs per corner in the arches
>too spooped to keep wrenching on it

Why don't you just not be a faggot and don't drop the sump plug?

All your oil leak out

Not him

But don't you just call them copper washers, because their washers made out of copper?

That's what it says on assortment boxes and invoices

> select street signs
> only has an American flag

>change oil
>chuck the drain plug in the oil pan
Is it possible to get rid of the drain plug and put in a valve? What are the problems of a valve other than trolling Alphonse crawls under your car to let the oil out?

I know this deeply

>Hex screw design and not a bolt

Wow. Did you mean Allen or Hex key?

Don't even get me started on air filter box mice...

Aint nothing compared to rear window wasps.