How the fuck do you get a job holy shit

how the fuck do you get a job holy shit

all my friends seem to have just been handed jobs, and only a couple even have relevant degrees or finished degrees at all

why can't I even get an entry level paper-pushing position

have you tried leaving the house?

have you tried r9k?

yeah I've applied in person to a bunch of places dude

they're a bunch of deadbeats whose checques always bounce

Yer mom bounces this dick

im sorry for your loss

Be a rich Kike and have all your friends be rich Kikes. Or just have a rich mom and dad in general.

You have to treat finding a job like a job, also you probably should have found an internship in college

>treat it like a job
it is impossible to spend full-time hours looking for a job. there are simply not that many entry level (or otherwise relevant) positions. even making the rounds of places around your house for shitty retail places maybe takes a few hours at best and it's not something you should be repeating every day barring your or their situation changing drastically and suddenly

>college
I was having home problems ok, I had to move out on my savings from a shitty dishwashing job I had as a lad and ended up joining the reserves

but I need more money

>internship in college
Except anything less than a 3.0 was an instant disqualify for any relevant internship.

>Apply to temp agency
>Tell them you take literally anything

Enjoy your job offer by the end of the week.

Look for a better job while youre working the shitty job

Probably better off trying to find some alternate stream of money, not that I know how to do that but I'm in the same boat.

You say that like it's hard to maintain an average grade of B.

Maybe at your school.

To put this in perspective, in one of my classes this past Fall semester, the average for the class was a 72% overall. This course was an upper 400 capstone course.

what major bitch boy

Financial Econ

The course was on Derivative Valuations and Pricing.

>it is impossible to spend full-time hours looking for a job
I live in los angeles, so there are plenty of new jobs being posted everyday, I guess it depends where you live

I also agree with this, those cunts will take anyone

Just got a job programming as a financial analyst.

Keep a good GPA and have a solid work history. You may want to start off with one of those shitty wageslave retail jobs just to let potential employers know you can keep a job and be cool around humans.

If you want I could look at your resume, just censor all your dox.

Not true. 2.7+ and you qualify for most.

Say that to all the internships I didn't get because of my 2.8 GPA

same boat man. psych major, only relevant jobs within 30 miles are dealing with autistic fucks and fuck that. worked as an emt for 2 years and cant get any upper medical job at hospitals; been applying for over 2 years for them every time they come up, they hire family / family friends over anyone else regardless of experience.
any advice besides biting the bullet and doing cuck work for minimum wage until i get accepted to pa / med school?

>psych major
>complains about no jobs.

literally what did you expect.

fell in love with the medical side of it; neuropsych, biopsych, pharm, etc. and pursued it. didnt realize til later that taking more medically relevant classes meant nothing since its lumped in as the same degree and nobody looks past that.

w-what, wait, you're telling me you have to work your way up?

Say it aint so!

>Just got a job programming as a financial analyst.
what do you actually do?

Well, you make projections based on what my "plants" earn, you organize data to make it readable to the old people who own the company. I'm not going to lie, a lot of it is mindlessly compiling profit/loss shit and trying to figure out where we're losing money.

and yeah, 99% of my job is just automating spreadsheets. Once I'm out of work to do I'll probably get canned or just maintain it.

Languages we use: SQL, C#, Visual Basic, R and Python.

Welcome to the life of the NEET, you'll be here a while.

alright thats neat.

It pays the bills, I guess. It beats my old job driving a fucking forklift for a little over minimum wage.

Better save your money before you get canned and have to tank for a while.

I'll probably be in a job for a while. There's more companies than just this one and the programming style I use is pretty in-demand.

I've also got a lot invested because most programmers are out of a job at 50 (unless you're super charismatic and can lead a team, which I might be able to because I'm a really nice guy)

>I'll probably be in a job for a while. There's more companies than just this one and the programming style I use is pretty in-demand.
so why did you try and argue that you would get fired once they're finished with you? did you mean to say you could easily find another job?

>I've also got a lot invested because most programmers are out of a job at 50
why is this?

is op still here?

get a direction of what you want to do and then go out and do it, soon enough you'll get paid, then you'll get paid even more.

ie: if you wanted to get an office admin job, it won't be enough to say "im good with computers" -- volunteer at an admin place.

>networking
is a buzzword for you because you're not up the ladder. but what you do want to do is find new friends.

join a men's shed or something that can both 1. take your mind off things 2. talk to older dudes
they'll either unknowingly tell you what's wrong or they might now someone who needs a bit of a pencil push here and there.

generally, the beginning steps of the career ladder are:

free (volunteer) > cash in hand > wage > salary.

so if you want to climb it, start on rung 1.

Yeah, I'll probably be able to find another job easily. C#/SQL are some of the most common business languages. I may not be able to do a super-hip startup, but with that kind of programming experience I can work at some big box store as one of their DBAs/IT.

Most programmers at a certain age start to lag behind technologies and don't have the hunger that the kids have. People come out of college at 22 and can pull all nighters and don't have a family to be around. You find yourself surrounded by these kids that are smarter than you, can work harder and don't have any other commitments. Once you get to a certain age, you either take a leadership role or you're taken behind the shed and shot.

I like people and tend to get along with people younger than me so I hope I'll be OK- I'm confident I will but there's always that chance that you become a bitter old man who can't work with people below him because of his pride or whatever.

>Most programmers at a certain age start to lag behind technologies and don't have the hunger that the kids have.
So this is the only reason?

It also doesnt sound like you compete with the people you describe.

How well do you keep up with everyone else?

What do you have to learn to keep up and how fast?

Believe it or not, I work a lot. This week I worked 60+ hours. I'm only getting friday off because I took PTO to go to some bullshit wedding with my girlfriend. I won't be able to do this indefinitely- like a year more tops.

Mostly what you need to learn is just new technologies. New languages. Every year there's like forty new frameworks and technologies and hot new thing that your boss wants you to learn ASAP. Not to mention there's always something to work on, you never *really* run out of work.

>paying thousands of dollars per month to join an "agency" that isn't even guaranteed to help you

>paying for things at all when you don't have a job

nigga u dumb

>j-juss go out and find ur dream :'^)

t. someone with no job, or a job handed to them by their mother

also
>volunteer at an admin place
lmao if you think admin places have volunteers and NIGGER I GOT BILLS

Nigga, what kind of agency are you applying to?

They only take money out while youre working, and you still get left with above minimum wage pay ($10 on average here, $7.25 minimum).

You dont STAY at the temp agency job, you take it because its better than nothing while you keep looking for a better job.

If youve made them "thousands" youre a dumb nigger that stopped looking for a better job

no I meant the fees to join the temp agency and have them scout for you in the first place

it's a scam, like resume-writing services

Dont go to a job scout, just go a to a regular temp service. 100% free.

The employers make contracts with them to find (x) number of employees and theyll take anyone.

The trade off is that its shitty jobs no one wants, and youre working with mainly niggers and beaners that are to dumb to work anything better

Honestly I'm about to just hire some errand boy minimum wage is nothing a year

>100% free.
counterpoint: no

what third world communist shithole do you live in?

Pay me 40k a year and i'll be your high skilled errand boy

also no i wont fuck animals or anything

The employer pays them Dumbass.

Its free for the employees. No job = no money from you

I'll undercut lik a fucking madman and offer 12k/yr.

He doesn't want a punjab, besides, what can you bring to the table if you want a shitty 12k? Go back to wendy's if that's what you crave

I can build, I can write, I can do tech, I can do other underhanded things and also be an asset

Fight me irl

>He doesn't want a punjab,
im (mostly) white though

>what can you bring to the table if you want a shitty 12k?
the unrelenting desperation necessary to do a good job

>Fight me irl
i hope you're ready to get fucking toolboxed m8 im robust as fuck and never don't carry tools

>im (mostly) white though
>toolboxing

Mexican detected, good luck getting a job when el emigre is coming

>claims to be able to do tech stuff
>doesn't have a toolbox
It's like you're misrepresenting your skills or something

Nice box grandpa lopez I have a belt