Drive along with your friend

>Drive along with your friend
>Look above his head
>See this
What do you do?

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wtf human, get out human. are you ok spiderbro?

What a cutie!

My uncle had a test that he would use to determine if you were ready for the roads.
>cousin has to undergo her dads test
>she is allergic to bees, and is rightly scared absolutely shitless by them
>unbeknownst to her, uncle has acquired a jar absolutely fucking full of bees
>waits until she is driving along
>releases all of them inside the car
If you don't crash you pass

stupid humans, we all know that bees are no harm just don't attack them

Your uncle is insane

Another critter story
>mum driving home
>live in the bush, she's talking about how peaceful it is
KA-THUNK
>snake lands in the middle of the windshield
>snakebro is freaking out, writhing and trying to get away
>for my first time ever I hear my mum yell FUCK
>snakebro falls off the hood
>mum won't get out the car for 10 minutes because she's worried it's climbed in the engine bay

He truly is, but the good kind of insane

>JUMPS OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR

I would straight up kill the guy

Just equip the bees, ez.

arachnophobia is the most retarded fucking thing ever.

man up you fucking faggots, I would totally adopt that thing.

I would totally fuck it :)

As long as you don't get bitten. Then you're in a bit of strife

Where I live there are no venomous spiders, but everyone is still afraid of them. It's just like being afraid of bugs, they're harmless, quit posting this anti-arachnid propaganda.

...

Go over a huge bump at high speed so his head fly up and crushes it.

It's okay, I didn't like the car anymore anyways

...

I'm not a spider you fuck, spiders are bugs and there's no way I could post on Veeky Forums.

why did the dumbfuck not seek immediate medical attention?

Retardation is a hell of a drug

Cool story cletus

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>arachnophobia is the most retarded fucking thing ever.

Of course it is. It's a phobia. All phobias are fucking retarded.

If they weren't they wouldn't be phobias.

Depends on the bee. Some can be cunts. Several times I've been sitting still somewhere, a bee has started buzzing around, landed on me, and then stung me for seemingly no reason at all.

Nothing, I'm cool with spiders.
Even had a spiderbro in my old car for a few days, web and everything. Still drove it.

slam on brakes and dive out of the car and let it roll away, dude is on his own
fuck spiders

Brown recluse detected.

gonads and strife

sounds like something a spider would type

I had a spiderbro in my steering wheel Last week.
I took him to a bush and let him loose

>why did the dumbfuck not seek immediate medical attention?
Medical costs are no joke. If you can't afford insurance, then you have a giant bill that can force you to get rid of your car. And even if you have poor persons' insurance, not every place accepts it. Just because a place accepts you during an emergency situation (required by law) doesn't mean they will accept what you have for billing.

>Lose car
>Lose thumb

Man, people need to get their priorities straight.

>look at him, not at the spider
>calmly tell him to immediately stop the vehicle
>hope he doesn't freak the fuck out and kill the 3 of us

you're really brave, I would've abandoned that car forever

You see this on your house, what would you do?

>Hey Bro, This is my exit, let me out right here.
>Escape from Australia

a CUTE!!

they can panic if caught in cloths or hair
but otherwise they just crawl around for ages if you are wearing anything fluorescent

youtube.com/watch?v=nTw9O-hdxvM

Stop the car and get the fuck outta there, seriously.

This literally happened to me, same type of spider too, but a teensy bit smaller.

>I was driving with my roof down and noticed it crawling up the A pillar, across to the top of the windshield directly above my forehead (I'm tall)
>Came to a red light soon after, needless to say, I let him continue on his merry way, rather than fail and make him fall on me.
>The little bastard was not sure footed either, it kept losing it's goddamn footing the entire time, almost falling on my face.
>The second it got a littler further away from my face I scooped it up with my hand and threw it in a single movement.
>Look to where I threw it, and couldn't see any sign of it.
>Drove off afterwards and tried not to think of the angry spider that may or may not be plotting my demise, if he managed to stay in the car.

Yes, Straya.

Forgot to mention I keep my car impeccable, and had nothing to try and flick it with. I was trying to keep an eye on the spider above my face while searching on the passenger seat and glove compartment for something, but didn't want to lean too far out, just gives the bastard more surface area to fall on since it kept wobbling around

pop the door open tuck and roll don't give a fuck if we're on the highway

You have 20k for treatment??

hit a speed bump so his head hits the headliner thus killing spider

My mom once bailed out of a car she was driving, in motion and with passengers, because a bee had gotten into the car.

>Be European
>Get bitten by spider
>Not the Fiat 124 type
>Go to hospital
>Get cured
>No insurance, no bills

Feels good not to be cucked by my sanitary system.

burn the car. it belongs to the spider now

leave it alone, it eats spiders and other shitty bugs like silverfish and rolypolys

But, it itself is a bug.

This happened to me spiders in the door panel dont park under trees pro tip
>dont be a fag and stomp the shit out of it like its a CTR faggot

I don't know why this made me laugh so hard.

...

>Realize Muhammad is your doctor
>Lose most of hand due to middle eastern spiritual medicine
>Thanks Merkel.jpg
I'll take a 20k medical bill that my insurance covers thanks

...

epic

>Be European
>Get bitten by spider
AFAIK there are only two European spider species that present any serious danger to humans, neither are commonly deadly and both live far away from humans.

You're not fooling anyone spiderbro.

Anyone else got a wing mirror spiderbro? I'll clean his web off if I'm cleaning the car but otherwise he can chill

So did she pass?

>Be European
>Get bitten by snek (viper)

>Be European
>Pay high tax
>drive little 1 litter shitboxes
LOL

>Be American
>Drive 6,000,000.0 liter autotragics
>Can't turn

>arachnophobia is the most retarded fucking thing ever.
>phobia
>retarded
WOW WE GOT A LINGUIST HERE

>Be American
>Drive 6 liter V8 engine
>Get shot by a nigger
>Die

Not everyone here is an Australian shit poster

Europe has the best docs in the world, pal. Not sure what you are on about.

look back towards the road and concentrate on driving

Giving the spider ample opportunity to crawl into your ear canal and lay it's eggs. Smart move.

>my cousin
>she
>crazy uncle

let me guess, she is your wife?

Not having atleast 10 spiderbros planted at different locations to defend your car.

What do you mean 'no way', sexy spider~~~

Lmao no, look it up, the best European doctors are all leaving and going for places like japan, hong kong, macau, the US, canada, straya, new zealand or some shit. Europe is dying m8, flee while you can

lolno