Faggot military faggot won't let me over

>faggot military faggot won't let me over
>He's driving "fast" Challenger
>At stoplight rev engine. He gets excited
>Backup and give him a full car length head start
>Driving new Audi S3 with tune.
>Demolish his overweight piece of shit car by like six car lengths, slow down on purpose, then cut him off.
>Watch him throw a sissy bitch fit
>He tries to overtake me again
>I take freeway onramp at extremely high speeds, QUATTRO ENGAGED!
>He loses control of Challenger trying to follow, slides car along wall. Drive away while I see him screaming and swearing at his poor life decisions.


Why do military guys and tough bros always pick the shittiest American cars to drive? Why do they think they're cool? Why do they try and pretend their cars are better than German cars when they're objectively not?

We're simple folk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, we're not pretentious.

>literally a worse golf

Wow rude

Nobody in the military buys German cars because we don't get paid enough, hence why everyone in the CAF buys Ferd hot hatches and Challengers

Thank u 4 ur service.

:^))

In what way? Fast as fuck. A simple tune adds 50 more HP. Incredible grip and handle. Doesn't look like some shitty 3-series driven by faggot normie Chads.

Is Audi literally the best car brand?

It's not so much the shitty choice in cars, but the fact that you feel you need to drive like assholes 24/7 in your bright orange Mustang pretending you're cool.

And if you didn't piss away so much money on beer and hookers you could afford an S3. Not exactly an expensive car.

Have fun donating your legs to Israel!

>is Audi the best car brand?

They make decent looking cars with nice interiors that go fast on the Autobahn but are understeering pigs in the twisties (engine in front of wheels). Not that unreliable, but god help you if something goes wrong and you have to pay for it.

>Audi S3

ITT: things that have not happened

Quiet. This shit happens all the time. Military guys are always acting like entitled faggots, when really, all they do is leach welfare dollars to do the bidding of Jews.

I agree with you on a lot of military fags being morons who blow their money on beer and sluts. I'm just a Chair Force nerd though.

If I could afford an S3 I'd rather get an M240i tbhfam.

Hmm I don't really experience the understeer at all. I've driven it pretty close to the line too through the mountains many times.

i think its more no one believes your shit box s3 could even beat a pigfat vee ate challenger, hell it probably couldnt even smoke the v6 model.

now if you were driving a civic with a few mawds we might have believed you

Just go all the way and get the M2. It's the only decent BMW they make anymore. And drive it with all the nannies turned off so it doesn't blip the throttle.

>pigfat
Says the fatass lmao

Chair Force isn't too poorly behaved. It's all that dumb redneck trash in the Army and Marines that should be confined to base permanently so we don't have to deal with their stupidity.

I guess someone has to protect the Israeli's freedom.

>any of this happening
>even to lowest price v6 challenger

lmao it's what they're for. god help some riceshit driver if they ever try to give the nod to someone driving a scat pack or better

>be fatass
>still get laid

damn man that was hard

atleast ill never fantasize about my shitbox beating a challenger.

because we all know the sonic with a few mawds will smoke whatever trash you have

>milfag
>challenger

nah, it was a charger

My S3 stock pulls 4.4 0-60. With the tune its around 4.1-4.2. But where it really shines is when you have to turn. It also weights a 1000 pounds less than pigfat Challenger/Mustang etc.

I told you it was a new S3. Not one off these shitty 20 year old crapboxes Veeky Forums spergs out about.

This is actually some MrCummy levels of stupid here

dont be jelly of my trifecta tune faggot i mean its only putting down 170hp to the front wheels and all even if thats where all the power should be

>still get laid
WITH A FUCKING MAN LMAOOOOO

You forgot about the part where his girl friend winked at you at the stoplight and after the crash she calls her bf a faggot and hops into your car and compliments how much bigger your dick is than her boyfriends.

>Audi S3 curb weight
>3485lbs
>Mustang GT curb weight
>3704lbs

That's not 1000 less

damn thats pretty mean to say about your mom bro

Summerfags OFF MY Veeky Forums!!!!!!!!!!

Well done.

golf r > s3

oh sweet, another things that never happened thread

>same motor and drivetrain in a heavier car
>paying extra for the aawdii badge

Bait, I know. But

>S3
>worth a fuck
>all military guys are dipshits
>German cars are better

>sitting at a stoplight in my new challenger
>love hearing my mighty v8 rumble
>blip the throttle a few times just to hear it purr
>look to the side, see some skinny kid in his dads S3
>light turns green
>kid stomps hard on the gas
>jerks in front of me then slams on the brakes
>typical audi driver
>kid floors it again to get onto the freeway
>can hear the tiny little 4 cylinder screaming
>gently touch the throttle and merge onto the freeway at a civilized pace

A3 and mk7 golf don't understeer. Mk7 master race. Don't try to complete, you can't.

Unless you got APR you got the wrong tune fgt.

I definitely believe your story it 100% happened and is very true

Was probably a v6. Lmfao

Anything higher than R/T would've smoked you in a straight line

>things that never happened: the thread

>how to spot a hick
>how to spot a nigger
>how to spot a military cuck

And men with a mid life crisis

the S3 is a piece of shit.
Only good for stoplight racing
Audis are trash in general

>that post
How to spot butthurt

Veeky Forums isn't your blog, faggot. Get out

>>>>/reddit/
>>>>/tumblr/

Milfag here, I myself have a 2003 Mach 1. It's annoying when another milfag pulls up in a challenger or mustang and revs their engine inside base. Its like whipping out your erect penis out in public only to put it back in your and walk away somewhat satisfied

Pic related. It's my latest DD, no one bats an eye and that's ok with me

Also, at least in Texas, all you need to get a drivers license is a military license.
A military license consists of being able to drive for about 5 minutes somewhere in the open and doing PMCS. Definitely noticed driver habits are terrible compared to someone who isn't inside or near a base

When I was in OKI an Chairforce fag got drunk broke into a house, got in bed with a kid. When the kid woke he punched the kid in face knocking him out.

>getting overly competitive with other drivers on public roads

You're no better than he is, OP.

I was stationed at Parris Island/Beaufort you werent allowed to do any of that because recruits might be watching.

Only one who would away with it was one of the 2nd Battalion Captains who had a GTR.

bait thread to rustle jimmies.

Lol at other fags trying to race me at a stop light when I just blow through it

Cool story OP. I would have had more respect for you though if you had owned an S4.

Jeebus OP you sound like an immature twat. You're the reason you give us Audi drivers a bad name. Please sell your car and get a Mustang, at least that would make more sense.

Thank u for ur cervix

>quattro

Please don't tell me that Audi actually made this.

I was once talking to an Air Force reservist unknowingly and referred to it as the Chair Force somehow because I didn't know. I'm sorry user.

>calls car pigfat
>his shitty computer weighs over 3000 lbs

audi owners everybody

>Why do military guys and tough bros always pick the shittiest American cars to drive
For the same reason you bought an overpriced WRX STi.

Sounds like a Golf R with an Audi badge and an inflated price tag to me. Do they at least offer it in manual?

Well that was strong fantasy

>QUATTRO ENGAGED!
10 million keks

Here's a real story
>driving my little memer2 on my normal commute home, which I drive 'spiritedly' most of the time
>merge into a lane and floor it to get to the speed limit, notice the guy in the lane was flooring it to not let me though but was too slow
>it's a bright orange pigfat range rover
>they guy inside is furious that I didn't let him use the road as a runway to max out his speedometer
>he's tailgating hard, flipping me off
>I slow down to 10 under, he's now mere cms away and holding the distance
>we come up to a roundabout, I slowly decelerate with the brakes so he gets the message from my lights, and he backs off for a second and immediately tailgates once we pass
>I have an idea.jgp
>the road curves away and conceals another quite tight roundabout in 600M
>floor it, predictably he floors it behind me
>take the tight roundabout at 60-70kmh, barely control it
>range rover manages to clear part of it, then massively oversteers, something locks up and the car bucks very violently down on to the front left wheel
>stops tailgating and I speed away
I hope he fucked his axel.

you stupid fucks need to quit wasting your god damn money on brand new cars and new houses in cities no one wants to live in and save up to live in fucking places like denver. you know how many young veterans i saw living in fucking apartments that were built in the 70's but rent was 1100-1300+ because it's not some shithole like columbus georgia?

I like it but it looks fat

I'd buy and old one for that money

>implying I should waste my money on renting in some hip liberal shithole city overrun with spics and niggers instead of building equity by buying an affordable house and building a badass shop in a comfy smaller city or suburb
Enjoy renting the rest of your life you enormous faggot. I'm sure your $1200, 600sq foot apartment with your own parking space for your riced out 86 is just perfect for you.

You're dumb as fuck ahahahahaha

> Today on stuff that never happened

Cool story bro
Let me just call my buddy who's an expert on cool stories

>Mfw American army
>thus what I drive
I specifically hunted this model down mind you. 96' w/ LT1

>pic related, it's mine

S3 is sick, nice pick

This. The Canadian Military breeds narcissism

SSgt at my college has a Golf R

And then everyone clapped huh?