>suddenly a cambered Mazda Miata with a roof rack and no luggage comes flying into the store
>the door opens, out waddles a man in his late 20s
>400 lbs, balding, the scraggly hints of a beard forming on his "chin"
>pushes my girlfriend onto the floor
>starts screaming about cartoons and how she doesn't even know who Mr Me Sex is or something
>I think he was trying to molest her
>I push him back away from her, he looks deeply offended
>starts stammering and calls me Rick
>my name is Ivan
>he's clearly out of breath, starts sucking on an expensive looking vape
>gets in his Miata, screaming about getting shifty and his shekels
>my girlfriend is getting offended, her dad died in the Holocaust when his guard tower collapsed
>goes to start his Miata and make his escape
>mfw it doesn't start because the Miata is a cancer on the auto industry
Pic related
Jack Ward
this is the shittiest attempt at a greentext I have ever fucking seen don't post again
Anthony Wilson
This is like someone took a story off reddit and then turned it into greentext, and by story I mean lie.
Christian Campbell
>her dad died in the Holocaust when his guard tower collapsed This joke really only works when Germans tell it, and by now it's easily grandfather to make sense, if not great grandfather.
James Sullivan
Summer has begun!
Lucas Bailey
Butthurt fagiata owners detected
Christopher Thompson
No OP, your thread is just shit.
Lincoln Brown
...
Justin Roberts
That image is kind of cute.
Brayden Kelly
...
Evan Edwards
Oh joy, it's summer
Adrian Ortiz
no 400 pound person would fit in a miata
Ayden Ward
This may have been the worst attempt at a thread I've ever seen.
Jayden Morris
Someone screencap this fucking shit
>summer
Eli Howard
There's a whole pic of different ones. Check out a /k/ humor thread and it should be in there.
Carson Harris
>/futureschoolshooters/ >good
Parker Jones
Megumin
Bentley Sanders
...
Jeremiah Foster
>roof rack >convertible
WAT!?
Also, what was the point of mentioning your "GF" was wearing a Back to the Future shirt?
Best part of the story was not even mentioned. >400lb guy >lightweight roadster thats low to the ground >Cambered
Guy was so fat his wheels cambered naturally from his fatasfatass