At the mall with my girlfriend

>at the mall with my girlfriend

>she's wearing a Back to the Future shirt

>suddenly a cambered Mazda Miata with a roof rack and no luggage comes flying into the store

>the door opens, out waddles a man in his late 20s

>400 lbs, balding, the scraggly hints of a beard forming on his "chin"

>pushes my girlfriend onto the floor

>starts screaming about cartoons and how she doesn't even know who Mr Me Sex is or something

>I think he was trying to molest her

>I push him back away from her, he looks deeply offended

>starts stammering and calls me Rick

>my name is Ivan

>he's clearly out of breath, starts sucking on an expensive looking vape

>gets in his Miata, screaming about getting shifty and his shekels

>my girlfriend is getting offended, her dad died in the Holocaust when his guard tower collapsed

>goes to start his Miata and make his escape

>mfw it doesn't start because the Miata is a cancer on the auto industry

Pic related

this is the shittiest attempt at a greentext I have ever fucking seen don't post again

This is like someone took a story off reddit and then turned it into greentext, and by story I mean lie.

>her dad died in the Holocaust when his guard tower collapsed
This joke really only works when Germans tell it, and by now it's easily grandfather to make sense, if not great grandfather.

Summer has begun!

Butthurt fagiata owners detected

No OP, your thread is just shit.

...

That image is kind of cute.

...

Oh joy, it's summer

no 400 pound person would fit in a miata

This may have been the worst attempt at a thread I've ever seen.

Someone screencap this fucking shit

>summer

There's a whole pic of different ones. Check out a /k/ humor thread and it should be in there.

>/futureschoolshooters/
>good

Megumin

...

>roof rack
>convertible

WAT!?

Also, what was the point of mentioning your "GF" was wearing a Back to the Future shirt?

Best part of the story was not even mentioned.
>400lb guy
>lightweight roadster thats low to the ground
>Cambered

Guy was so fat his wheels cambered naturally from his fatasfatass

2/10, get ye gone newfag

>actually bumping a thread instead of saging

I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!

I just came here to sagepost.