Tesla's First Responder Loops

Story?

>ask for video proof from the mall
>report to the police, use the tape as evidence
>???
>profit

and what law was broken?

>lawsuit

I smelled something burning, thought your car might be malfunctioning. I unplugged it for safety.

>namefag
>trip
wat
>identifying someone in a black hoodie always looking down at the ground
lel lawfags can't do shit.

No story. I just came across the Tesla emergency response guides and discovered this was possible.

tesla.com/firstresponders

Now your car has Lockout/Tagout too!

I park there all the time and never got a fine.
git gud loser

theft attempt, you have to disconnect the car to steal, there clearly was an intention

> I unplugged it for safety.
won't pass

Thanks. Too bad I don't know anyone with a Tesla that I hate.

people in the civilized world do get fined, its even better to watch when they put the immobilizer

>there clearly was an intention
thanks for showing your ignorance, please try googling the topic before asserting an argument

Not taking sides in this spergument, but I never understood the reason behind the immobilizer boot.
>You can't park here, so now that you have, we are forcing you to stay here, further inconveniencing others.

>people get sued over trying to open a car
it is the same, you unplugged the car because you were going to steal it, theft attempt

>it is the same
no it isn't

found the bus rider
it's to hold the car until the tow truck arrives, reserved for drivers with a shitload of unpaid tickets.

yup, it is, the procedure to steal an electric car consists in unplugging it, breaking in and steal it

there was a clear intention from your part to steal it, but you later decided not to, theft attempt

>Prezo is sperging

lol, its nice to know that you can report improper parking here, it's s fun to watch them fight the tow truck driver

The procedure for breaking into a house begins with opening the gate and stepping into the yard, but doing so doesn't show intent to commit burglary.

not to get involved in preggo's meltdown but these wires don't brick the car, Tesla will know when exactly the loop was cut.

Just saying you're not invisible if you do this.

yes it does, if you try to open someone's house without their consent, you can get charged

Good fucking luck doing that anywhere in the midwest.

Have you never needed to get a frisbee out of a neighbor's yard?

>fight with the driver
i'm not black

>wont pass

I'm an electrician. Trust me, it passes.

>unplug a car is a theft attempt
hahahahahahaha
cuck.

It won't permanently disable the car but it'll ruin the owner's day.

>unplugged it for safety
>wont pass

what if the cable is obviously damaged and dangerous? (Oh no! how did that happen, I wonder?)

so you sit and watch as he ows your car?
what a cuck! yet again, GM fangirls are used to that feeling

the freesbee is actually a valid excuse tho, there is no freesbee in the tesla analogy

>I am an electrician
bottom of the barrel-tier

>cuck this BTFO
lol

How do we prevent people from opening hoods on any car and stealing the battery
How do we prevent people from stealing brake bleed screws
How do we prevent people from stealing lug nuts
How do we prevent people from taking driveshaft U joints

Theres wires in ICE compartments to you fucking idiot

>just unplug any electric cars that you see in public parking lots
The charge cables are locked in along with the door locks
>Cutting it disables all electrical components.
Wrong

How can we stop people from disabling random cars by letting air out of the tires?

Tweels.

Does your car's hood open from the outside?

No, I don't have a tiny ass lawn.

All modern cars with electric latches can have their hood opened mechanically from the outside

Name one car that doesn't after 20 seconds with a crowbar

>comparing a hood release switch to a crowbar
DESPERATE

I turned on the oven
clearly, I was preparing to incinerate another 6 gorillion

could I be cooking a nice pork roast for dinner? unthinkable!

You can get valve stem caps with set screws and metal high pressure valve stems. That still won't keep someone from knifing your tire though, unless it's one of those truck tires at 9000 psi that will kill/maim you if it explodes.

>bottom of the barrel-tier
what barrel?

tell that shit to my paid-off mortgage

>electrician
>knowing anything about an electric car aside from the fact it's electric
What safety issue did you find, the screws on the switch plate weren't lined up?

>What safety issue did you find
You know this is a hypothetical situation, right?

Potential reasons for unplugging some fuckwits EV include (but are NOT limited to)

>'smelled burning' unplugged as a precaution.

>damage to cable or plug or socket (maybe I just ran it over on purpose)

>cable is a trip-hazard (tenuous, but it could fly)

>charging sub circuit keeps tripping, trying to find cause

>needed to unplug to perform insulation resistance tests on sub circuit cable

>fault introducing incorrect voltage to charging sub circuit, needed to unplug to prevent potential damage to cells

>health and safety incident, total site shutdown required for investigation

Having said all of that, if I just walk up and rip the fucking plug out in a parking lot, how in the flying FUCK are you going to track me down and pin it on me?

>aim is to destroy car
>fumbling with a hood release

i knew you would be stupid enough to use this as a "counterpoint"

...

>Good fucking luck doing that anywhere in the midwest.
You lead a sheltered life? The thieves here throw a ball into your yard or roll it under your car. That has been the method for decades to get close to your house or car.

Most cars don't have electric latches though so your point is moot.

Maybe not in your poorfag 1992 Corolla universe, but almost every modern car has one aside from the cheapest of cheap shit Versas and whatnot

As a first responder, I'm gonna tell all my pals about this. I hear a new harness is over $10k.

i did this once
>2011 335i vert
>on a trip to vegas during the busiest time of the year
>searched up and down for a spot outside Caesars, only thing open are a few ev only spots
>throw the plug into the back seat and roll the baby rear window up until it has like a half inch of room before i pinch it
>come back in 4ish hours, no one has done anything, i was kinda expecting a key job

I would very much doubt it isnt a replaceable piece.

>Have you never needed to get a frisbee out of a neighbor's yard?
They will throw a ball into your backyard for the excuse of going back there to steal your bicycles.

More importantly will the door handles open the doors when they are popped out, you have the key and the car is unlocked. Acording to owners stuck with $1000+ repair bills from Tesla the answer is no.

No, most are still mechanical for the simple reason they are simple and reliable.

How do Viper owners live?

youtu.be/cWonxlP2pXQ?t=1m58s

>I'm guessing that the hood can only be opened by pulling a tab/switch inside the vehicle like most modern cars? Just lock your car.
This is from their first responders guide.

>but almost every modern car has one
My new GM car does NOT use an electric hood latch. The handle still feels like it has that long steel wire and if I tug gently it feels like it has that long steel wire slight stretch feeling. So it must be the good reliable steel cable.

>This is from their first responders guide.
Thank you. Please post more interesting info about the Tesla that the general public just doesn't know about! Enquiring minds want to know.

Thanks OP i now know how to De Smug tesla KEKs

>>Cutting it disables all electrical components.
>Wrong
Cutting the first responder loop pictured in the OP is sure going to give someone a bad day.

Just remember that opening the frunk triggers the alarm.

Isn't the bonnet release lever inside the car?

Lock your fucking car.

Tweels master race

>Isn't the bonnet release lever inside the car?
There's one outside the car.

>Just remember that opening the frunk triggers the alarm.
There is a response time before the alarm sounds off. That's why crooks can break your window, open the hood latch quickly, and cut the battery line. After that, they can open your doors and cut the sides of your seats open to get the seat mounted airbags, slice the top of the dash to get the passenger airbag, and yank the trip to expose the side mounted airbags. Slicing the steering wheel cover yields the airbag there. Their modules are held in by screws.

>There is a response time before the alarm sounds off.
Doesn't look like it.

youtu.be/0G96fI24v0s?t=11m29s

There is, however, a response time before anyone does anything about it.

Well, if there's someone around, they're bound to notice an alarm going off. And if you're fiddling with the car, they're probably going to be suspicious.

>wears hat all the time

CLOSET BALD!

>Posting cp in a blue thread

no

in the front grill of non suv teslas is an emergency hood release for if the car is totally dead

pull that out and then snip that wire and boom car is now fucked

not that the car alarm will sound if tge hood release is pulled while the car is locked

>first people blocking Tesla charging stations with gas cars
>now they cut the wires
Some people are really fucking salty about electric cars.

This is a spectacularly stupid reply. Not only was the same idea stated much earlier in the thread, but everything about your version is wrong.

>Model S does not have a traditional internal combustion engine.
if the owner hasn't realized that by this point, there's no hope in them getting the "front trunk" open.

>front trunk

That's the emergency response manual. It's for firefighters, not drivers.

>You can get valve stem caps with set screws and metal high pressure valve stems.
They can just get pliers and squeeze all your metal valve stem caps. Now the stem is squished and the cap won't turn off but has to be chopped off. And since the stem is oblong, pumping air pressure into the tire is pretty hard.

Squishing the stems with pliers or vise grips is pretty fast.

That's not the owners manual it's for first responders

Hypothetically speaking, if you have a friend who really hates Tesla's, don't EVER tell them that you can just jam your thumb into their parking sensors and poke them into the bumper causing them to always register as if it were hit in the car.

DON'T TELL THEM THAT. That's FUCKED.

pic of this?

you might as well just cut the fucking stems off if you're going that far

If they're that loose you could probably just turn them upside down which makes them spazz out without looking like anything is wrong.

>you might as well just cut the fucking stems off if you're going that far
No, that makes a lot of noise from the hissing. The goal is to be able to do things and get away. Getting caught is bad. Success against the rich oppressors is good.

>things you can get away with

You mean like the red n tacky I put under the door handles of every shitbox with a peeling clearcoat I see?

I'm a fan of just doing the passenger doors if I see evidence of women/children in the car

why wouldn't they be? it's their tax money being used to subsidize new car production, which is anything but environmentally friendly like any large scale manufacturing that demands lots of shit like copper and petrol-based plastics, in the name of being environmentally friendly.

i wouldn't be mad if my tax dollars were spent on retrofitting existing cars with better emissions controls or improving public transit.

i would be mad at the practical equivalent of taking a quarter of my paycheck to fund a mars colony for whasian nerds with rich parents when we have shitloads of land, sea, and diggable earth for people to live in and countless cramped countries that could stand to make better use of earth's realestate, as well as a shortage of arable land that we can solve with some basic bitch terraforming or multistory hydroponic farms.

>How can we prevent people from disabling random vehicles by opening the hood and cutting ''''''''''things''''''''''?

Yes

Tesla not only gets big taxpayer subsidies for making each car, he also gets indirect taxpayer subsidies for all the carbon credits he sells. Elon Musk and other principal investors make a lot of money, but their business accounting practices of course runs the company in the red all the time to avoid paying taxes.

So that also costs the taxpayers since they aren't benefitting from the taxes.

Tesla cars sound their alarms immediately. It's not like other car brands that have a 30 second delay.

>someone makes thread about wanting to fuck with someone else's car
>"fucking kys scumbag that's someone car fuck you
>someone makes thread about wanting to fuck with someone teslas
>oh wow that's interesting please post more
sounds about right, something something ice cucks something