/LBG/ - Land Barge General

Land Barge General #1
We gather here we praise the holy boats across all brands. Discussion of buying and selling, modifications, debate, advice, and so on are welcome.

Common held ideas of a land barge are having most if not all of these qualities in a car:
>Sedan/coupe
>Body on frame
>V8 engine
>Slushy automatic
>Shifter in the steering column
>Rear wheel drive
>Comfy bench seats
>More than 3800lbs curb weight
>At least 16 feet in length
>Fit at least 3 dead hookers in the trunk

>Bonus points for hood ornaments, rear gas caps, shag carpets, red interiors, and manual transmissions.

Let us celebrate our comfy boats
Show us what you got!

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What is the second car from top to bottom?

Late 70s Lincoln Continental, I believe.

Lincoln Continental Mark IV

94' Caprice 9C1 reporting in.

Blue landbarge reporting in. Anyone know where I can get one gallon of Ford Aqua metallic frost paint?

*Aquamarine frost metallic

you'd probably have to special order that, or try mixing your own.

I'm thinking I'd have to custom order that as well and get raped with prices. That and I have no idea how to mix paint or get the matching color.

Have you looked up the paint code and all that? You get the code and I am sure someplace online sells it. But given the age of your car, the fading is gonna be apparent. paintshops usually compensate for that with mixing.

Yeah, with the paint code it's specifically called Aquamarine metallic frost. Online it's a good $100 a gallon. I'm thinking it's just easier to plastidip an easy to find light blue and add metallic flakes to it. Would have to do the whole car since it won't paint match. 22 years in the Nevada sun destroyed my clear coat.

>barge dies while turning around in own driveway
>days of eliminating minor things, all signs point to fuel pump taking a shit
>fuel pump is on top of gas tank and nigh-unreachable without dropping the tank
>tank is completely full, filled it up ten miles before arriving home
>probably can't even get the car high enough to drop the tank
>and every day it won't stop
>fucking
>raining

fuck, bud...

If you want an alternate option, you could pull the trunk liner out and cut a hole over the spot where the fuel pump is. I remember my cousin did that because he dreaded dropping the tank and all the work that comes with that. He fabricated a little door so he could easily work on it later on if he had to.

Should have it out of the shop tomorrow, had to fix the AC and replace the shocks.

youtube.com/watch?v=vtYhyCmjw_4

That's an option but goddamn I don't want to cut things that don't necessitate normally being cut.

Already watched that video, an inline wire cut with a new connector like that might be possible but he certainly had an easier time doing it what with having an actual lift.

Also reminds me I need to pick up new clips for the fuel lines 'cause they've got those stupid plastic quick-connect ones and after sixteen years in the Northeast they're about to turn to dust if I sneeze in their general direction.

Why did your fuel pump quit out? Did you remember to replace your fuel filter every other year?

>every other year
I've barely even had the car a year. Ask the old guy I bought it from who's probably fucking dead by now. He had all the maintenance receipts, but I can't find 'em offhand, thought I had put them in the pocket on the back of the seat but they aren't there.

I mean, it's 150,000 miles (or so, the dash was already replaced once) and almost twenty years old, plus it wasn't driven much for a while and if there's one thing electric fuel pumps hate, it's sitting.

Yeah in my experience when it comes to large sedans like this with V8's you gotta change the fuel filter like every other year or it clogs and burns out the pump. change more often if you use shitty gas.

I was starting to miss my old Grand Marquis, now I'm just relieved I got rid of it.

I've been selling off a few of my panthers, still have my Town Car though.

Used to have a Swede barge but sold it. Got it to 190k miles but oil consumption was too much and I switched to a subie so my GF was beating it to death. Sold it and got her a cheap little Focus with the money.

She misses the old thing because it was comfy, could cruise hella well and had surprisingly good visibility/turn radius but is happier with the current car because MPG and nightmare-fuel SF daily commute.

A year ago i sold my shitty 93 corolla for $700 and bought this clean 97 LX for $750 so it kinda only cost me $50,got it from an old guy who didn't wanna pay for insurance on 4 cars so he let this one go.

Dream car of mine desu. Was impatient and went for a Crown Vic first, but one of those is definitely coming up when I see one, and it'll definitely be getting a 5.3 or 6.0 LS swap

here and I just noticed your post. Really wanna give the 5.3 or 6.0 LS treatment to a Caprice or Roadmaster wagon as well.

Got this beast back in December. 2007, one previous owner, 135k miles.

Welp, that's something to add to the maintenance list.

Pshh, just part of owning a barge. I haven't even had my intake manifold let loose yet, just waiting for that to happen so I have an excuse to tear it off and replace it and the gaskets and hopefully solve the damn slow coolant leak I've got. At least that would just be an afternoon-in-a-driveway job that doesn't require crawling around in the dirt and banging my head on the frame the whole time.

Just hoping the local pick-n-pull gets an '03+ Panther in before it happens so I can pull the intake and the cup holder, every one I find in a yard always has both parts missing.

Thing looks great, really clean. And I'm digging the wheels and tires, looks pretty badass. Just lovely cars in general if you ask me

Postan Vic now. These are the best of my shitty phone pics

I have some really great plans in store for it. Yes, the wheels need some help, and that's one of the first things I'll tackle with some nice powder coating.

I've always liked that color. This is mine, bought it last month. Heater was stuck on, but I replaced the blend actuator and now everything works, and it's already served me on a road trip. What was wrong with your ac?

They're the stock LX wheels i just took the center caps off cause one was broke but i think they look better this way.

Pressure cutoff switch failed

Laundry list of todos is as long as the car.

I want to mount my CB radio in this thing but I don't want to come off as a whacker.

>4300 lbs
>auto
>comfy af
>16 ft long
>coupe
>6.4 L V8

Do I count? Transmission is pretty quick (praise ZF) and shifter isn't on the console though

pls no more generals

How are the roadmasters? I hear they run 15s

Are there any examples of a 460 swapped into a box Panther? It's somewhat of a dream project of mine.

Also, postan muh p71
>tfw no trac-loc

How many dead hookers does the trunk hold?

Yeah we need the space for lap time shitposting!

A thousand years ago (1980's) John Vermeersch's Total Performance was putting 460's in Panther Town Cars so it will fit but I no longer remember the details. They were featured in magazines like Super Ford, PHR, and Hot Rod at the time.

If you get a 94-96 like mine it has the LT1, 260hp iirc. And if it has the tow package you get a 2.93 rear end with posi. It's pretty quick for what it is, and there's a lot of potential with the LT1, although not as much as an LS. I bought this car as a weekend/road trip vehicle but it's so comfortable that it's replaced my daily, I love it.

I want a newer Taurus SHO pretty bad...

lincolnlarry on GMN has box towncar with a 557 in it. Incredibly nice car which I've seen in person a few times, also really nice guy. In fact the short block in my old 85 tudor which then went into my 91 squire is actually the original lopo bottom end from that car.

Mine is a '92, I run 235/75/15 on it. Ride is a bit bouncy still. I'll probably need to put more heavy duty shocks on the front. Other than that, can't complain much. It glides along just fine and is extremely comfy. I'm glad I got it.

I can dig the look, but its lack of V8 is disappointing. Why doesn't Ford slap their turbos on the Coyote, or something?

I think mine is the the same color as yours

Only the third gen SHO had a V8 (and it was a tiny 3.4L at that), both the first and second gens had the 7000rpm-redline Yamaha V6.

Dunno if this counts as a land barge but it has a lot of room inside. Rear wheel drive with a V6 so burnouts are easy and there isn't a lack of power. Only cost me $2000

>see InTech OHC badge
>do some googling
>Aussies used the InTech name for various i6 and V6 engines for apparently decades
What in the goddamn? Here in the 'states InTech was IIRC only used for the 4-valve 4.6 V8.

I know that, but in the context of the Taurus being Ford's biggest sedan now, I'd wish they'd come up with a V8 option.

The new goddamn Continental doesn't even get a V8 and you expect them to give one to the Taurus?

Lack of v8 isn't really that disappointing.

Also, this may be in the new gt500 ;)

Bump

Can some anons more intelligent and competent than me when it comes to vehicles tell me the differences between a grand marquis and crown vic?

The badge and the headlights/taillights. That's it. Before 2003 the Marquis still had its own front and rear fascias with swept-back headlights but after that it had to use Crown Vic fenders and quarter panels so the resemblance is even closer. Under the hood/body they're identical, and they have identical trim levels as well, just with different names (Crown Vic base model and LX = Grand Marquis GS and LS, CV LX Sport = GM LSE) and both had the same extra add-on options like dual exhaust/shorter rear end gears. Some say the quality of leather in the Marquis is better, but honestly they're all fucking parts-binned together anyway and if you don't like something, go to the local junkyard and pull a seat from another Panther. Town Car seats are kind of weird though and have a separate center partition so they're not a direct bolt out and bolt in.

The Crown Vic P71 isn't a trim level but an entirely separate model, same for the Mercury Marauder.

Do these count as landbarges? They're hilariously cheap here in yurop, even the S8.

I'd say so.

they have the size but disqualifie for actually being able to turn

is a '7th gen suburban a LandBoat?
>Body on frame
>V8 engine
>Slushy automatic
>Shifter in the steering column
>Rear wheel drive
>Comfy bench seats
>More than 3800lbs curb weight
>At least 16 feet in length
>Fit at least 10 dead hookers in the trunk

>truck
no
being a land barge requires being a coupe, sedan, or wagon

dodge dynasty
chrysler 3.3l v6
4 speed auto, 16ft, and huge trunk

pic is the day i got it. includes brotruck for scale
i think it's closer to a landbarge than anything else. also it has had a lot of improvement since then

two people can sit in the trunk comfortably. i plan on watching this years fireworks there.

That's not as bad as other Volvo's, my 01 S80 isn't the biggest boat on the road but God damn it sure does drive like it is. The turn radius on it is unbelievably bad.
>tfw your cars turn radius is cucked by it's own computers

Can I be in this thread?

that pic does not really do justice how comfy the trunk is. here is someone actually sitting in one.
not me- someone i saw on a pentastar classics page

dead hooker capacity is about 5, 6 if you chop them up first

Best Grand Marquis color coming through

2003 LS Ultimate, 2 owners, family owned. First owner did routine shit on it, second owner clearly didn't take care of it, but didn't use it much either, so all it needed was cleaning the seats and carpeting since he was a slob and a smoker

pretty good condition aside from that though, only thing that doesnt work is the power mirror switch, and the overhead compass, neither of which are really that big a deal.

I'm quite happy with it, though I did blow my load on it, I was hoping to get an early 90's Town Car, or the 95-97 Grand Marquis, if nothing else because having the "MERCURY" inset on the front bumper under the headlight tickled me silly.

But still, i can't say I'm disappointed, especially after learning of some of the issues the pre-'03 had, what with the manifold and all that.

it needs a new window regulator for the driver's window though, which i've been putting off, but is annoying when I need to use my second hand to guide the glass when closing the window

The intake manifold issue isn't as big a deal as people make it out to be, it's an afternoon job at most and nothing is especially difficult to remove or put back together. Just take it slow and make sure you don't lose a bolt or worse, drop one into the cylinders.

Not a huge fan of the 03+ models myself compared to the sleeker front end of the earlier ones, and as you said the MERCURY on the front bumper of the mid-90's ones is deliciously cheesy. IMO the best front end is 98-02, it's got the lines of the aero Marquis but is bulkier, more square, just more fitting for the type of car instead of looking like a chromed Taurus. Would probably never get an 05 or newer, though, if only because I fucking hate drive by wire.

Aero's don't get the love they deserve. My very first car was a total piece of shit 92 bastard block I bought for $500 over a decade ago. I liked it so much a bought near twin of it a few years ago. It's been in the moth ball fleet for a while but I think I'll put it back on the road now that I've sold all but one of my wagons.

The aeros always bug me mostly because they look like a knock off caprice which was what they were competing with at the time.

absolute madman...

Because of the rounded roofline? That was only on the Crown Vics, the Grand Marquis had the more recognizable squared off Panther roofline from '92 onwards- that's why they gave the same roofline to the CV in '98, people really didn't like the bubble-top look. The Town Car was a complete box up to '98 as well.

Dropped my image.

I can somewhat agree with that, although I do believe they had the better interior of the two. I really don't like B body interiors.

I really, really like that headlight dial on the left, goddamn. The one they use in the whales doesn't even fucking line up with the dashboard in any position but off.

There's also the matter of reliability, probably- get an aero or early whale Panther and you get the intake manifold, get a B-body and you get Optispark.

Been wanting to post my barge for a while and finally got it half way presentable.

that and the taillights and headlights. I think in general all they stuff they did comes together to look like an off-brand 90's caprice. I always had to do a double take when I saw one because in the corner of your eye you can sometimes mix them up.

Yeah 90's GM had this cheap plastic bullshit going on. I try to do anything involving removing interior its like diffusing a bomb trying not to snap something.

It's still super roomy though, I daily my 2011 Crown Vic but I work on my caprice I sit inside and I'm like "fuck, there is so much room in here!"

Will landbarges ever come back, guys? I miss landbarges...

thank every mom who thinks they need a SUV to drive their kid to the mall and soccer practice.

but... can't we have both?

surely there's room for them at least in the luxury market

suv's are the new land barge

they are in no way anything like landbarges other than being large, but in all the wrong ways

modern full size SUVs are top tier comfy, have acres of interior space, handle terribly and guzzle gas.

A new suburban is not meant to go offroad, it is meant to be a comfy vehicle. They're literally land barges.

But the term 'barge' draws the idea that like barges these large sedans are long and wide but not that tall. SUVs are more like a block than a barge because while long and wide they are more propotionally tall.

Its all symantics but we want differentiation. SUVs are mostly lumped in the offroad group usually.

Any ideas on decent Euro market landbarges? We did get some American econobarges like the Stratus or Alero, but I'd rather not.

what about stuff like 90's/early 00's Lexus? As an American, I'm curious about this too.

this. I wouldn't call an SUV a landbarge because it's not a barge physically unlike many of these old fuckhuge sedans

like
that pic is the very definition of a landbarge. An extremely long and wide sedan, with massive trunk space and a huge V8, which typically uses the traditional 3 box design, and again, it's still a sedan.

Since this general is a already nearly dead;
dragged my old 88 p72 out of the woods last week to prep for a boat/trailer race this upcoming weekend. I originally had decent plans for this car, but it sat around for a while, then became a parts car, then got shoved in the woods. I figure I'll have more fun with it on the track then sitting around going to waste.

That's why I described the SUV as the new landbarge. It fills the same roll.

It looks sad. I think it's the eye-holes.

I posted , which I'd say comes pretty close.
Also Lexus as someone said before, and those big Mercs/BMWs/Jags.

Also Citroën C6, definitely qualifies in terms of weight, bodystyle and ridiculous levels of comfy.

Looks comfy and had asthetic, but it just ain't long enough

I think these things should be painted jet black, making look like its owned by the FBI/CIA

The feds didn't use Crown Vics as much as you'd think, at least in that era. It was all GM B-bodies and a couple years before, Chrysler K-cars.

helo

Do you also have the light blue interior?

Not enough t b h