Things that car dealers do


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>I'm sorry sir, the car you're interested in was actually sold last week
>We do apologize for the inconvenience. I'm happy to inform you that we have a couple others on our lot that are very similar...
NO. Get fucked, asshole.

>we're proud to use "no-haggle" pricing on all our used vehicles, for your convenience

Why does it seem like every dealer now has switched to this shitty Carmax business model?

>Inquire about a Camaro 1SS
>Only one on lot is an automatic
>Tell salesman that only want a manual and could you quote me a special order for it
>Never hear back

Fuck you I'm not ever going to chase a car salesman for anything.

gee, I wonder why!

>$950 reconditioning fee

Holy fucking shit. First of all, how does it take you a grand to clean a car? Please, specifically break down that price for me so I can wrap my head around where this cost is coming from.

Second... Why the FUCK am I paying you extra to make sure the car I'm buying is clean? Isn't that kinda something you should just be doing anyways? That's like going to Starbucks and paying a bathroom fee on top of my drink so that I can take a piss without staring at fecal matter on the ceiling.


For absolutely no reason.

Try to sale a sealer coat.

I handle used car reconditioning paperwork.

>Oil and filter change
>air filter
>wiper blades
>brakes if needed

That's the majority of them

Of course we get some that need $1000+ in work but that's pretty rare

>Work at dealer as a detailer
>Dude in new Hemi Ram
>Celebrates new purchase by leaving 2 strips of rubber on the way out of the dealership
>Hear manager say his warranty is now void

>Flooring the engine, which has rated horsepower, voids the warranty
Fuck this gay world.

Okay. I still don't get why that cost is dumped on the customer though. It's not my job to make sure the car I'm buying is presentable and works properly.

Because salespeople are fucking crooks.

Doesn't really matter. Unless the buyer spends $thousands$ in unnecessary dealer services, they will void his warranty anyway. And even if they "honor" that warranty, warranty repairs either won't get done or will be just enough to get passed the warranty period.

That 4 square bullshit

Usually the manufacturer has a spec for a number of miles you should drive gently to moderately so that the piston rings are able to break in. Usually like 1000 to 1500 miles keeping the rpm below 4k something like that

Here's a good one for you faggots.

Had my Lexus appraised for trade in at a Chrysler/Jeep/Dodge dealer, and not only did they lowball the fuck out of me, but they somehow managed to break one of my interior door handles in the process. These cocksuckers then had the nerve to claim it was like that before. Fucking savages.

My dodgey Dakota recommended full rev range occasional hard acceleration for the first 50miles.

Every engine has different break in procedures.

>buy used car at Toyota dealership
>get the extended warranty for about $1.5k extra
>first week, headlight goes out
>call to get it replaced
>"we don't cover headlights"

So they won't give me a $20 bulb after I bought their fucking almost two thousand dollar warranty?

Fucking criminals. Never again.

>walk in to test drive car
>hand over drivers license
>test drive goes well
>price haggling for car not going well
>about to walk
>they still have my license
>realize I don fucked up
>have to ask repeatedly for my license back
>they proceed to hold my license hostage for 10 minutes
>finally give it back
>next day comes
>dealership calls me
>said they would take my offer
>walk out with the car a few hours later
This happened 10 years ago and this was the last time I ever bought anything from a dealership. I cannot stand the bullshit selling" tactics" they use. You'd think when you just bought a car that you would you be excited and happy, but it's the complete opposite when you're getting a car from a dealership. Never again.

>have to ask repeatedly for my license back
>they proceed to hold my license hostage for 10 minutes

Just tell them "give me my fucking license back". They don't want some guy making a scene in their place of business.

>"Can I get this discount?"
>"I gotta check with my boss"
>Go make a pot of coffee and play angry birds for 20 minutes in the back
>"Sorry man I really fought for you, but he said no"

should have frightened the dealer with calling the police. If they refuse, actually call the police cause that is theft.

>buys a warranty

>complains when a cheap wear part wears out


you sound like a huge bitch

To be fair, I'd try to because depending on the car they can be infuriating to try to replace yourself.
On my Subaru it entails holding back part of the fender while you contort your hand to awkwardly stuff it through a tiny hole, where you can just barely brush the back of the light with your fingertips.

>mfw one time i went with friend to negotiate a subie deal and the manager literally yelled at our sales guy for us haggling so much
>mfw ended up getting it at dealer invoice price with tint

I bought and replaced the light bulb that day, dude, calm your shit

It's the principle of it. I spent that much on a warranty and they come at me with "lightbulbs aren't covered lol" literally less than a week after I bought the fucking thing.

Can someone explain to me how some cars are listed so much lower than MSRP? Is it just a bunch of qualifications and discounts that probably wouldn't apply to most people?
>pic related

Think about what you are saying.

You don't want the cost dumped on the consumer. Where will the cost get dumped? On the dealer? Why can't the consumer just negotiate with the dealer and tell him they aren't paying for reconditioning? Why can't the dealer say no, I'm not selling you this car if you won't pay for the reconditioning?

Why does every transaction have to have some douchebag crying to the government about what should/shouldn't be included in the price?

You should never pay sticker price for a car. You can normally get 12-20% off sticker price depending on how qualified you are. Yes there are lots of incentives that can go into that price too such as financing through the manufacturer. (You can always choose to simply go and refinance as soon as you leave the stealership)

They didn't lowball you.

Since you seem to know the exact value of the car, you should have no problem getting the price you expect somewhere else.

Protip: you never hear Bill Gates talking about how someone lowballed him.


Do you vape by any chance? Nice digits btw

no vape, no car meets, no shitty edm

>le big evil government ;_;!!

if the government is so evil why should it protect property rights, Mr Bastiat? Or is it that you only hate the government when it causes you an inconvenience?

Probably depends on your term. How big of a down payment, how long you're financing and at what percentage. Just speculation here.

>Where will the cost get dumped? On the dealer?

Yes. I don't think it's asking too much for the cars on your lot to be reasonably presentable and in working condition. How does that makes me a crybaby douchebag?

>Why can't the consumer just negotiate with the dealer and tell him they aren't paying for reconditioning?

Yeah. Good luck with that.

A sympathetic judge would probably entertain false imprisonment... Never detain somebody unless you have a clear lawful right to.

>reddit, reddit, reddit
>govt protect property rights

It shouldn't.

>It shouldn't

excellent, now give me your wallet, it's mine now

>They didn't lowball you

How would you know? You don't know what I payed for the car, and you don't know what they offered me.

If one dealer won't eliminate the fee, then another might. If none of them will, then maybe it's a necessary cost of purchasing a car. If you don't like it, maybe you should buy cars and recondition them yourself so you can save on the fee.

>thinks that if the govt wasn't there to protect my property, that he would be able to steal property

Even though the govt supposedly protects property, people still get shot trying to rob homes. Good luck with that.

So if I walked into that VW dealer and said I want this GTI for its listed price of $21,777, what would they likely tell me? Is it just bait?

You're right. I don't.

They offered you a price that was below the actual price of the car, which you know, and they apparently do not. So I am sure you immediately went elsewhere and found a purchaser who could offer the actual price. But to call it a lowball is to imply that you HAD to take that price, and the reality is that you didn't have to take it.

It's only lowballing if they're holding a gun to your head? I'm confused.

>he belives that burglars wouldn't commit manslaughter if there were no penalties for it

lel, imagine being this naive, If I knew that there was no authority capable of punishing me for killing you, what makes you belive that I won't kill you before entering your home first?

ancaps are really fucking autismal

Ignore him, he's some faggot that's either baiting or he works for a dealership

If you had an ounce of gold and tried to sell it, and someone offered you $2 for it, you would just go somewhere else and sell it for $1,266 (current spot price). No need to complain about being "lowballed" because there are plenty of other buyers out there. However, when it comes to cars, people incessantly complain about being lowballed even if there are no other buyers at the price they expect. The dealer does a huge service by creating a market for cars that wouldn't otherwise exist. Most people do not have have the expertise to go out and refurbish a car and sell it to strangers.

>the only thing keeping him from murdering people is the govt

The risk of getting killed is very high once you kill someone, govt or no govt.

>ask about manual green Chevy ss at a dealer in the next state
>still there
>ask if they'll hold it for a couple days for me to fly out and pick it up on Saturday
>they say sure, it's all yours
>Friday evening, get text from salesman saying "sorry, we sold it. We have an orange one though if you want it"
>Fuck no, especially not from those assholes who'll sell a car out from under me
>Find another manual one in white in the next state over the other way, call them
>They hold it for me for a week, flew out to go get it the next Saturday

>Get text from first dealer 2 weeks later
>"Hey we still have that green one if you want it, the other guy backed out"
>Tell them no thanks, I already bought one from someone else
WTF were they thinking?

>the risk of getting killed
yes, good luck finding a masked man lel

>being this autismal

They thought they could get a bidding war on it, sales managers and salesmen are idiots with dollar signs in their eyes

>going to a dealer
Let go of your conscious self. Revert to something more savage, primal. Let your aggression flow. Then enter the dealership as a wild animal. Have a couple of drinks first if that helps.

Well they lost out on that sale entirely then, zero dollars is not better than the $43k they would have gotten.

White is superior anyway.

One of the greatest cancers of the internet are dumb fucks who think that their definition of words is the correct one.

You are one of those people.

racist ass cracka

But haggling is such a hassle for a poor millennial like me :( they should just make the price on the sticker the one you REALLY pay to avoid it.
>Someone actually said this to me one time
And kids are they're better with money than gen X and boomers.
>I'd rather pay way more money for something so I don't have to argue with someone for thirty minutes
>Confrontation frightens me because I have zero testosterone
Millennial genocide when?

I dunno, it's a really nice green.

You have to be fifteen, I refuse to believe otherwise

You're basically advocating for this "no haggle" bullshit that every dealer is doing nowadays. Just awful. You try to negotiate by bringing up flaws with the car, and they just tell you it's already factored into the price. Bullshit.


Act autistic when you hint to them that you're paying cash.

>takes it to a shitty American car dealer
And you wonder why some redneck broke your interior door handle.

>buys a toyota
>can't fix the headlight bulb
Boy, you are fucking useless.


I was interested in an Audi they had on their lot, and it was some brown guy named Waqas. Not sure what particular ethnicity he was. Hispanic maybe.

looking at a car listed at $18500. The car has been on the lot for 87 days now. I gave them a offer for $18000 cash off the lot, they said they can only do $19000 off the lot. Do you think they will fold with waiting longer?

Some long legged pissed off Puerto Rican

You're a fucking retard

how so?

>haggling is such a hassle
>they should just make the price on the sticker the one you REALLY pay to avoid it

How is this not advocating for no haggle pricing? That's what they do. They claim that they've done all this research and are giving you the best up front price.

>"one of the greatest cancers on the internet just happens to be this thing that I pointed out in this thread on Veeky Forums"

Reddit faggot, confirmed.

You're just fucking retarded, mate

That back-and-forth to the manager bullshit.

It got so bad one day I took the paperwork the salesman had, wrote $30,000 on the bottom line, handed him a $30,000 check told him he had one more shot to "talk to his manager". They took it.

We don't care for this kind of stuff here faggot.

Not my picture, Google images

Oh look, the average idiot who doesn't understand basic economics

>Google Images
thanks for sharing

>words only mean what *I* think they do

>Tank of gas and mud flaps right now if you buy this $55k truck.

My dealership salesman always does this and it always works. The customer buys it thinking they got a good deal. They come back next week with the truck for some odd ball reason cause it's a buy back.

Escalate to the sales manager, and if you need to, the owner

I paid for a 75k bumper to bumper. Should be covered.. this guy is spot on

>telling me to calm my shit
>complaining that a wear item isn't covered under warranty

did you even read the warranty terms before signing them? the time to complain about what is and isn't covered was before you signed the paperwork, if you failed to read the conditions then that's on you

If it's a used car take that cleaning price up with the seller. If Wanda is selling her old suv and it's trashed inside then tell her word for word, "your car is a rolling biohazard. I'll happily buy it from you, but the $4000 asking price will be more like $3500 you are being paid because it's going to take $500 to make this turd presentable."

Problem solved. I'm not paying for you all to do your job and you as a business aren't out footing that cleaning bill.

What happened to the days where a dealership only had a few floor demo models to look at, then if interested, you fill out an order form with a bunch of check boxes and you check the colors and options you want.

I'm proud of you

Dealership used cars are usually turds, just buy from private seller.

Buy here pay here outfits that are run out of a trailer match that description, but most big franchise shops sell only good shit from trade-in and auctions

t. worked at a Big Franchise dealer

every production cost for every product has always been passed onto the consumer. Literally anything on the face of the planet if you made it more expensive to produce it would raise the sales price.

This shit right here. FUCKING BULLSHIT MOTHERFUCKER. If this is their honest no haggle approach then they should have it all written and transparent for the buyer to see the problems and discount associated with it.

I dont get it why are they raising the price on this guy?

Whats the point of the back and forth crap? Why do they do this?

you're retards

this dude is right. basic concept in economics is things are only worth what people are willing to pay for them. You'd be getting lowablled if I offered you 2k for your ride and the general market was willing to pay 10k. If no one is willing to pay more than a couple grand then the 2k is not a lowball it is what it is and that's waht your car is worth.

Furthermore, obviously a dealership isn't going to give you marketvalue, they would lose money reselling it AT MARKET VALUE. they have fucking overhead costs to cover they need to know they can make minimum 10% and the longer it sits o nthe lot the more its costing them.

If you couldn't find an offer that was ~50% higher than what the dealership offered you then they didn't lowball you

being educated feelsgoodman


>Worked in Service Department
>Customer has nitrogen filled tires
>asks if he can use regular air compressor to fill tires
>Before I can reply Jew manager chimes in saying "IF your car came with nitrogen filled tires then you should only ever fill them with nitrogen by a qualified dealership.
>just standing there listening to this asshole lie to a customer
>after manager finally leaves, tell customer that tires are tires and they don't care if they're filled with nitrogen or regular air.
>customer asks why they do it
>Respond to customer "it's a sales gimmick" designed to take your money
>IT only benefits F1 drivers with cunt hair level tolerances.
>customer tips me a fiver for the honesty.

Yes because every single person who buys/needs a car are autistic Veeky Forums virgins who know exactly what color spark plugs came in a 1989 Honda shitbox.

lol. I bet you're in a fucking union.

I identify with this
This is my mindset for dealing with companies like Comcast
Let go of humanity and prepare to lie to get what you want

One time my mom went out and bought a used car without my dad's permission, then my dad went on their website and found that it was still on their website for 5,000 dollars less than what she payed for.

Wow. I bet he gave her a nice shiner and fucked her up the ass. Wasteful pig.

Brakes are wear items too but if they shit out after 35 hours of driving and you slam into a wall that's really not on you