Truckerfag Thread - /TFG/

>Grubs Versus Cleanfags Edition

Brevious Bread: >147,333 Troy Ounces
>34 curbed, popped off the bead tires
>Sign that lease and I'll find you and put quarters in your fucking gladhands while you sleep
>CDL how do? Private driving school or community college
>Megacompanies are all equally shitty, don't let anybody convince you otherwise
>Recruiters are paid to lie to you
>Eurotrucks may be more powerful than North American trucks, but nobody actually cares
>Don't run over the abos
>Clean trucks are happy trucks
>Mounted oilfield equipment>Logging>Cryogenics>Flatbedding>Pneumatics>Fluid tankers>Vocational>Reefer>LTL>>>>>Dryvan

>Truckerfag got his annual truck wash and took his annual shower
>Freon got trashed on Sierra Nevada
>Primely, in his own words, was disappointed that he didn't get molested by scalehouse attendants
>Primefag was on shore leave to coincidentally avoid the 72 hour blitz
>Whiney is back teaming in a Freightshaker with an evolved weeb
>M&Ms absent for two or three threads, may be kill
>Gundam still missing, assumed banned for posting cheesey pizza
>Bandit put his campaign hat away for another year
>PTL fell for the Eurotruck meme
>Bepis largely absent, hates mondays, assumedly likes lasagna

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=HyefCD_wrGo
youtu.be/Ul6UcvNX4o8
youtu.be/-XSq0PvVxMs
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

*blocks your path*

What do /TFG/?

Me? There aren't enough hours in my day for that chicken shit. Hammer down driver.

>leave freeway
>go over advance single-axle scale
>green arrow to 35mph by-pass lane
>cruise through
>rejoin freeway

USA TRUCKING IS FOR SISSIES

CANADIAN TRUCKING IS FOR REAL MEN

>not using a prepass and only exiting when the scalemaster fell asleep on the bypass override

>assigned truck driver at military recruitment
>no license at all, can't drive
>"don't worry, you'll get proper training"
>3 MAN trucks between 430 students
>finish training with no idea how to drive and receive ""license""
>warrant officer confused by how so many "drivers" can't actually handle a truck for shit
fuck this gay earth and all the idiots running it

The trucks aren't hard to learn, I'm a mechanic and only ever drove my car and they just expected me to drive the Lmtvs, hmmwv, apc, pull trailers and sats. You'll figure it out, you'll just get made fun of in the meantime.

youtube.com/watch?v=HyefCD_wrGo

>open vent/hatch
>connect hose
>open valve

How fucking dumb can one be. Tanker jobs are the easiest shit.

Checked

And I'm still kinda here. Too busy with coffee woman to be shitposting like I used to.

And fuck this rain. The past two weeks, and then when the rain stops it gets ridiculously humid. So it's a blast all day going from a truck with no AC (or it might barely work if I'm lucky) to rain to hot and humid to AC in a store to a 35F cooler. I love not working in a cubicle, but this rain is going to kill me. The coffee breaks are the only thing that keeps me sane.

Yo yo I have a C13 and blew 2 turbo clamps yesterday. This only happens when it's over 95 outside. What do?

>. Too busy with coffee woman to be shitposting
Yet you still aint got dat pussy.

Get off the boost

dose it uleh like ohmahgod

>fuck this rain

Ikr. But like I said from the beginning, she is real conservative with all of that and isn't gonna be spending the night with anybody unless she thinks she could be with them for years. And it's been hard to earn her trust after she married that dude and then after the divorce went on a few dates with typical ass dudes that she hated.

But she is finally getting there, Monday night I was on the phone with her forever, and we're both animal people so always sending pics to eachother of our cats acting crazy. And her cat, his territory is his bed and she was like "I wonder how he will act when you are trying to sleep in my bed with me". In the end tho, it's actually nice because I kinda like her and at least she's not some basic ass ho.

Moar boost. Bigger tarbo. Better clamps.

>truck over heating again
>hasnt been washed in a month
>haul in the dustiest environment
>tell boss make plebs clean it and scrub radiator clean

Raining today also so comfy day off, end dump driving is Max comfy

She wants a bitch and I think she got one.

i've asked this question yesterday. why do all newer american trucks look exactly the same? some faggots say all modern cars look the same too, which isnt true, you cant mistake a vw pasat for a toyota camry or a vw golf for a miata unless you're blind. even euro truck only have a similar shape with all the rest being distinctly different. american trucks all have same grill, same headlights, same fucking everything, they just look identical whether you look at kenworth, international or mack. i have no trouble telling a mercedes actros from a scania, but all american trucks are literally twins.

Clean charge air rad

They look like that because that's what sells and I guess aero trucks have a stigma with older o/o's.

Why? It only does this in the heat man. I'm only at about 35 pounds.

Alright I'll try it. This only happened once last year but twice in one day, first cooler side then turbo side, is no good.

If you can spot the differences between the Scania and Actros, but not a Cascadia and a T680, you're either trolling or being retarded. Probably both.

>yuro
>not retarded
Pic one

Kek, I'll take it. It's not every day that you find a pretty girl like that who despises chads more than /r9k/ posters. It's incredible.

Next stop today is her store

So I finally posted on Reddit!

How do I get /RedditVerified/?

I just want to piss those people off and see if I can get b&

why the downvotes, because of that latina comment?

Reddit is the same as Veeky Forums but instead of collecting (You)'s the goal is to get a shitload of down votes.

I dont get it

I want to travel the country pulling 750 tons at a quarter of a mile an hour.

So here was my hometime.

>get to FL, do a lot of nothing for the first day
>go down for the celebration of life and funeral service
>get out, ride our bikes in his honor (we were all bicyclists and stuff that's how we knew him)
>decide all of us are going to Penny's in Lake Worth
>two steps in, realize it's a gay bar
>fuck it, gay bars always got the strongest drinks
>twinks in dresses and trans dudes hitting on me, mildly flattered
>"hey primefag what you doing tonight big boy"
>"not you"
>proceed to get fucking destroyed with friends on irish trash cans, long island iced tea and Hennessy
>buddy has to follow me home on his broken ankle with an electric bike with crutches strapped to the back
>since graveyard let me park tractor on property, you guessed it, pass out and slept in the graveyard
>woke up next day, went to Hollywood to ride with more friends
>made veggie burgers on the grill and swam in the ocean for a bit
>partied like the Ventures with the surf rock band that was playing at the bar next to the park we were at
>go home the next day, get talked into shooting nude photos of a hot friend
>she just paid me shit was SO cash
>you are all steering wheel holding Swift drivers who should quit trucking and work in dispatch or sales
>Pic related, it's me and my bitch

Seriously had a great time. I'm stuck in Georgia now. Here's how my morning went.

>start clock at 2:30am
>drive to Pierson drop yard
>3 empty trailers
>all 3 are out of fucking service
>wait for road assist to consolidate their feces on one trailer and they said "how the hell did that happen" (trailer has a giant 5 foot gouge inside exposing the insulation)
>have to go to Jacksonville for empty
>between Budweiser in Jville and the Pierson snafu, now I'm going to be late
>arrive at the exact time everyone goes on lunch

Awesome start to my time back out in the field! Fucking christ.

Your life is meaningless. Enjoy the crash

> Cycling
> Veggie burgers

My god, it's full of hipsters!

Dudes y'all gotta try this taco pizza shit at PJ Fresh. It's a goddamn mess though. Hard to eat while driving

You in the center?

Glad you had good time off, aside from the funeral of course. Post link to nudes.

>Travel through the docks with an auxiliary air compressor to release all the trailers

>Still alive, and pursuing long term, hopefully stable pussy
My nigga.

>/r/truckers
Tell Eog_Prog he's a fat headed blowhard.

sup faggots

i just graduate college and i can't find a job

convince me to become a trucker

Because of everything. That's exactly why I trip in all the threads here, it's hilarious watching random keyboard warriors get pissed off because you don't follow their rules.

Perfect!

I'll keep an eye out for that cunt.

And yeah man, I never really expected it but I hope this coffee stuff keeps going well because she's quite the catch and I like her for a lot of reasons besides her being way too pretty for me. All the latino dudes around her work are jealous as fuck because they knew she was single but she hates latin guys since they are all players.

What happens when find out she has a cock.

I did last week. It's breddy PJ FRESH. Not as good as the sausage gravy pizza, though.

>having friends
NORMIE GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

You get to bring your bed to work.

>it's hilarious watching random keyboard warriors get pissed off because you don't follow their rules.
Yes, but reddit will IP-ban you for that, and for calling people fucktarded.

That's how I got banned from imgur, anyway. They don't like people who aren't part of their circlejerk.

>fuccboi wearing dish washing gloves
Oh lawd.

I won't last long over there. And I don't care.

At this point, I would probably just go with it. Goin to meet up now.

Damn sounds good. I don't like PJ normal pepperoni pizza but the seasonal meme pizzas are all great. They still have the chicken bacon alfredo pizza? Shit was so good.

>taco pizza

It's unfolded burrito

REEEEEEEEEEEE

They might be his fisting gloves, shitlord.

>You get to bring your bed to work.
i don't sleep much

Not sleeping much is a job requirement

Kek. The things you do for love.

what kind of pay would i be looking at?

Minimum wage, but you have to work at least 70 hours a week

>minimum wage
Oh boy another nigger with fake math

>You get to bring your bed to work.
Do you though? I don't think I could wrangle a normal innerspring mattress into the sleeper. Thinking about getting one of those foam mattresses that come in a little box.

>They fell for the waiting in/close by the truck isn't technically being on call so not working meme

A sucker born every minute.

You should fall for the "sentence syntax" meme
>he thinks I get paid to sleep, eat, watch anime, and jack off for 12-14 hours a day
You actually make it sound way cooler than it really is

>Minimum wage, but you have to work at least 70 hours a week
So basically 1.25 minimum wage? If you count the other 30 hours as time and a half? That sucks

youtu.be/Ul6UcvNX4o8

>What you sound like to any normal person.

>he thinks anyone here cares what normies think
Spend all the time you want with your ticking time bomb that takes your house and half your money. I'd rather retire when I'm 45.

>He thinks he'll make enough money being an otr pleb to retire by forty five

The absolute zenith of hilarity. You'll be lucky to retire by ninety five.

I got my license 2 years ago and I've got $90k saved up so far. It's easy when you've got no rent or bills. When I hit 3 years experience, I've got a job making way more than my entry level position, I should have no less than $1.5m in savings in 20 years. Shit, even if I stayed here making what I make now, which isn't much, I could retire at 55 and just buy a smaller house.

trucks are gay

no

>No rent or bills
Do you live in your truck? wtf

Either way it's not that hard. They fold and bend.

Are you fags done arguing?

Yes, they take big loads in the rear.

McDicks or KFC

Bruh, there's barely any KFC's around anymore. McD's is better on the go, but KFC once every few weeks will hit the spot when you gotta munch out.

McD. Jr Chickens with tomato slices and McDoubles done Big Mac style.

I wish.

I want to believe he lost his usual, actual pair of work gloves...

He's a gay Russian team driver and his boyfriend was throwing chains wearing flipflops. They're a conscious choice.

In other news I got the evening at home

ok, I was exaggerating a little bit

McD with dat app.

$5.50 for a signature sandwich medium fries and medium drink holla

Keep dreamin', bud.

Isn't >ganada a super trucker haven?
Aren't there any in the oil fields?

T-that's not true! Mine takes some on the side!

>Wearing gloves at all

I raw dawg everything

Ladies prefer soft hands on their cunnies, m8.

So they are his fisting gloves. I knew I was right.

Real whores prefer callouses

>Gay Russian truckers working in flip flops
>MFW

>Supertruckers
Yeah, the oilfield up here has its fair share of headset and belt buckle wearing know-it-alls.

In my experience, they are generally winch or bed truck operators.

>Be me, Oilfag
>Fueling up at cardlock the other day
>Bed truck fueling up beside me
>Fat, squat old trucker comes over to fill his passenger side tanks
>Looks the twin steer oiler over
>I drilled and mounted two sets of eyelets and put bungee straps between them to hold my rubber boots to the top step if I have to move the truck while on location, to keep the floor and pedals clean
>Supertrucker looks at my bungee setup
>"Boy, that looks like one Hell of a toe biter on your step there"
>"Nah, not for me. I climb up using the rear steer tire"
>Walk away to finish fueling up on the other side without another word

Thanks for the unrequested commentary on my truck setup, you greasy old fuck.

You could eat off my floors they're so clean, meanwhile yours looks and probably smells like Shrek's asshole after a long summer day.

Post hands.

Next time vent the tank!

>I climb up using the rear steer tire"
Said the supertrucker

Zoz. I do own both a big belt buckle and a headset.

Its easier to climb up the tire than the actual steps, ironically.

They have these long wheel seal guards on the rear steers that have tread on the outside, that are meant to be used as a step, so I use that.

I think he's the tweaked-out cricket looking squirelly dan on the right.

Donorcycler here. How badly does it piss you guys off when we draft in your wake? I experienced drafting this last weekend on I90... I can't describe how amazing it was. My little 250 was barely making 55 in the horrid wind. Big tanker pulls by me and I feel myself getting sucked up behind him. Carried me along at 75 for almost 10 miles. I finally had to slow down because it was freaking me out. Normally it is vibey and shaky as shit from the wind and the engine strain, but in the draft it felt like I was running on glass.

From what his greentext said, I'd assume that's his buddy with the broken ankle.

I'd be surprised if they knew you were there desu.

I make a point of hanging well back for two reasons.

One, if shit falls off the back or rocks flick up I have half a chance of ignoring it and two, so they have half a chance of seeing me.

You sure are fat for a dumb ass vegan

Gingers m8. They make no sense.

>ignoring it

jej, avoiding it

Fucking brains, mane.

It's truckerfags bastard son.

He might be older than me.

Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story.

>tfw sharing beers with 4 other drivers in your company
>just sitting on the trailer and talking shit
>other drivers come and have a chat, have a beer too
>feels good to be living the dream, alledgdly

>tfw no steady beddy

>americans
youtu.be/-XSq0PvVxMs

are the nude photos of that nerdy goth? can we see?

All you disgusting fucks who said there's nothing wrong with brushing your teeth in the restroom sink, I just saw a dude washing dog shit off his sandals right there in front of God and everyone.
So tell me again how brushing your teeth in the public sinks isn't the most vile thing ever

I don't understand your point, also where else am i supposed to brush my teeth?

Enjoy your gastro-intestinal issues from the oil products soaking into your skin and getting on your food!

I wear nylon gloves with a rubberised grip. Work fine until they get wet, then it sort of chews at my hands.
Hands are nice and soft except for callouses on the edges that no gloves would prevent.

Literally anywhere else. Not the room filled with aerosolized piss and shit particles

Bruh. We're constantly surrounded and permeated by bacteria and the aromatics and particles given off by compounds and chemicals.

Sounds chill. Local flatbedding gig?

I can see the Lifetime movie marquee now:
>My Son The Vegan Company-Cuck

Guys i need photos of this truck in USA. From what company this truck can be? Allied?
This truck now in Vladivostok

>drop and hook
>load not ready
>load wasn't scheduled to be picked up
>company expects me to sit here until they figure out what's going on then go swap loads with another driver who is down the road at a comfy truckstop waiting on me
>ask why can't I go give the other driver this empty and let him come pick it up later once he has hours and everything has been sorted out and I get a head start on the horseshit load I have to save
I can hear the head scratching from here. These last 9 days are gonna be a nightmare, guaranteed