Depress clutch

>remove tires
>car never gets tired again

>steering full left lock
>right headlight and right brake light turn on

>depress clutch
>blinkers come on solid

>press horn
>idle drops

>turn on AC
>trunk opens

>about to shoot my gooma
>open glovebox to grab my prop pistol
>Gabagool is in place of it

How about putting it in gear and then braking until you stop the engine?

>turn on car while its dark out
>neighbors now awake and hate me

>depress clutch
>it starts crying and refuses to come back up

>buy 17k Lancer Evo
>scared to floor it

newfag

>lease automatic frs
>suck cock in it

>driving to making ceremony in a isuzu trooper
>my consigliere flips and feds arrest everyone in cadillac
>they don't see me since I'm incogneato in a shitbox

this is why you keep a low profile, capiche?

Hits way too close to home, user...

sequential manual!

>falling for the manual meme

>Changing oil today
>Drain the old oil
>Only 1qt comes out

Welp.

I shouldn't be allowed to own cars.

how is that a better solution?

>Drive over pothole
>CV joint ruined
RALLY PEDIGREE LIVIN THE WRC LIFE ALL DAY EVERY DAY

I'll match your stupidity with my own.

>Buy drive-up ramps instead of a jack for my first oil change
>inch just a little too far
>car slams down over the ramps, lodging them underneath
>have to get neighbor who's not retarded to jack up my car so I can get them out

Luckily no damage except to the ramps, it could've been worse

>map sensor fucked
>get new map sensor
>doesnt fix it, o2 light comes on
>get new o2 sensor
>install it
>fixes map sensor issue
>o2 light still on

what

>remove alternator
>car performs consistently

Dealt with that in Drivers Ed in high school. Had a Ford Fusion daily driver for the students that was maybe a 2012 model, yet when he taught us to drive stick he pulls up in a 2door 94 Ford Ranger. Shits falling apart left and right. Go to depress the clutch and the bastard is glued to the floor. Brake trick didn't work, so every time I wanted to depress I had to either kick it or dewedge it and floor it before the engine could stall.

I learnt on a clapped out escort going down the freeway with a giant fucking hole in the floor next to the pedals trying to bring my buddy home because he had an allergic reaction to some stupid shit the restaurant knew not to give him. Hes all like
user...push the clutch in and then change the gear.

Why take him home instead of the ER?

OH we did. Me managed to lose his epipen which wasn't at home like he said.
>OHO-O-OH NO user....WE GOTS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL ...MY EPIIIPENNN IS GONNEEEEE

It was like one of those time trial games expect someone can die...fml

...

>driving 2002 Eldorado
>mooley pulls up besides me in an old maxima
>He starts reving his engine
>light turns green
>Motherfuckin big puss crosses the street
>slam on the brakes
>he drops his fresh cuts of gabbagool
>mooley drives off laughing

anyone else here tired of big puss and his bs?

>depress clutch
>call it a bitch

>go to change oil
>unscrewing oil pan bolt causes a huge rust hole to appear, dumping all the oil and making it undrivable until the oil pan is completely replaced

>depress
Well yeah I don't get up when I'm depressed either

>Push gas pedal
>it doesn't come back up
That was one of the scariest moments in my life when that happened to me.

Better to happen then and not while you were driving it.

>buy a lancer
>floor it and hit a telephone pole

>push it into reverse
>car doesn't reverse
>push it harder into reverse
>car reverses

just miata things

you mean you don't stop and repair your car after every drive?
what kind of fake wrc fag are you?

>pop hood
>mouse nest in the intake

>pop hood
>mountain of dog food and rat shit
wasnt my car so i didnt care but fucking seriously

Frig off Rick

Christ, that sounds terrible

>turn on high beams
>beams stay at same height

This is every stick shift ever.

>Take a turn
>Sideways

>hit button to eject cd
>seat ejects you through the roof of the car

keked

>Push cassette taped eject button
>nothing but clicking
>start to smell burning plastic

>Be me
>Buy first car year and a half ago
>Loved it to death
>Do oil changes myself
>Check engine light stayed on for a month
>Take it to mechanic
>"It was missing quiet a good amount of oil user"

It got worse
>Month later
>driving to work
>Notice car not going as fast as it should
>Rattling sound in engine
>"Fuck this isn't good"
>Press accelerator a little
>Loud pop
>Pull over
>Car won't start anymore
I felt like I got dumped for a month afterwards.

What car? So I know what to avoid like the plague.

>Wild guess
first gen Scion TC

It was a 2008 kia Spectra ex.
My mistake was not looking into the car before I bought it. Now I either have to find an engine and transmission or get it rebuilt but I'm not sure where to start.

Blessing in disguise, dude. Get a V8 or some shit, cram it in there, and have a sleeper. I've been trying to kill my in line 6 for months just to have an excuse to do this.

HOW

...

I'm not completely sure but the mechanic said something about one of the cylinders failing or something. I'm sure it was due to lack of oil.

Say I did want to do this. What else, besides the size of the engine block, would I need to make sure of so that it fits comfortably in my car?

There are probably forums dedicated to your specific manufacturer, and sometimes model that will tell you everything you need to know, and even have guides for the most popular swaps.

>press hazard button during rainstorm
>right blinker light on dashboard stays on
>won't turn off

help

>kia
That was your first mistake

How is the engine AND the transmission fucked? I think your mechanic is taking you for a ride.

Story time.
>back a few years ago 16 year old me at grandparents house.
>grandma had a 89 chevy 1500 pickup with the vee ate.
>"hey gram can I take the chevy to the gas station to get some coke"
>"sure thing, be careful and take her slow"
>go out to truck, starts just fine and sounds healthy.
>look and odo and it reads 335,XXX miles.
>pioneers rode this baby for miles.jpeg
>leave driveway nice and easy, but being 16 start to hoon about a mile down the road. Everything goes fine, gets coke(soda for you yanks) leaves.
>wonder how fast this puppy is?
>hits 85 before I almost die of fright
>rattles everywhere
>hoon session complete.
>next Stop sign
>stop, start to go
>this thing just fucking launches with my foot off the pedal
>ptsd tire squeal for 20 feet.
>slam brakes, no use.
>slam in neutral.
>maximum revs engaged
>slam back in drive because am going autistic with adrenaline and fear.
>more tire squeal, then it idles down.
>go scared as fuck back home
>never told anyone to this day.
>some poor highschooler bought it a year later.
>feel guilty for not warning him
>still see it in town every so often.

>depress clutch
>pedal is missing

Kill yourself painfully my dude

>I-I wrecked my 17k Evo revving it st 3.5kRPM
>You m-must be a n-newfag then!
I've never seen someone project so fucking hard.
Jam some photos up your ass and give us a PowerPoint presentation.

dump it in a river and get a 3k civic

>tfw no qt oil gf

Yeah I messed up, the engine is the thing that's messed up but the transmission is fine. However I've heard/read that if I replace the engine, then I should replace the transmission as well. I'm not completely sure how right that is.

The same type of engine should bolt right up to the existing transmission, someone's trying to fuck you over.

The idea behind it is that if one needs to be replaced the other probably isn't far behind. Fuck replacing the tranny, and fuck replacing the engine even. Your mechanic sounds like a thief, just saying.

>gas pedal down on a flat straight
>rpm goes down and car stops cruising
>depress pedal a little more
>GRRRRRRRRRR RAAAAAAAWR WE REDLINE NOW
but why?

>put beverage in cupholder
>it falls through the cupholder and onto the floor

different car

>put beverage in cupholder
>cupholder snaps off armrest and falls to floor

sounds fun

>in the market for a new car
>stop by at a used car dealership
>salesman comes out to greet me
>balding italian man
>spot a nice find
>NA miata
>dealer says its in great shape
>wont go into specifics, its 5500 dollars
>get in for a test drive
>car is perfectly clean inside
>depress clutch
>CLUNK
>something falls onto the pavement beneath the car
>car salesman starts screaming at me in italian and waving his hands illegibly
>fuck this
>"s-sorry" i say nervously, getting out of the car
>hastily walking to my car, he's following me
>still shouting
>30 men, women and children emerge from the dealership
>its his family
>they're shouting at me too
>begin to walk quicker
>they move into a full-on sprint
>run for my life, abandoning my car
>the ground begins to shake, the italian family stops pursuing me
>cars on the road start spinning out and crashing into barriers as the shaking gets worse
>the ground cracks and splits
>a giant hairy body surfaces through the asphalt
>"maddone" it shouts
>car salesman's family watches and laughs as the giant slams his hairy fist into the ground, turning me into paste
>buy a 3k civic from a guy on my street a week later

Well that was a ride.

what in gods name did I just read

french or italian?

>clutch furthest it can go
>put in reverse
>engage extreme screeching waking up neighbours at 7 in the morning
>put into N and do the same thing again
>decides to work fine
Why the fuck does reverse gear not work when I put it in reverse the first time around but always the second? I always make sure the clutch is pushed all the way down and the gear knob is as far into the R gear as possible?

Synchros are fucked. Put it in a different gear first then hit reverse.

>Pull door handle
>Door doesn't open

>pull door handle
>it comes off
Thanks Ford.

>downshift to 4th
>this isn't 4th

literally what

>Be 2002
>neighbor moving to montana, has 91 lumina with comfy benchseats in yard, for sale sign
>day before the move cars still there
>knock on my door, dude asks if i want the car
>next day vacuuming out under seats of my free car, find old bill fold like $180 in it

...

Might as well add cupholder delete to your list of a few simple mods

set it on fire !!!!
its the only way.

t. 80 year old senile lexus driver

just reach down and pull up the pedal, that sizzling 220hp wont take you far while you do that

>Pull passenger door
>linkage breaks

>his engine can't overcome the brakes

...

...

>grill gets in car
>TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK
>What's that, user?
>Uhh, n-nothing I swear my car's fine

I had this once, but it was my fault

>hit the brakes
>it pushes back
I almost drove in the car in front of me, scared me shitless.

my fucking sides!

>kill
>inline 6
Unless its twin turbo it isn't gonna happen