I'm a socially awkward tard

WebTool
WebTool

I'm a socially awkward tard.

I was literally diagnosed with autism since I was 7. I have no friends, and only leave my house to go to the gym.

People call me annoying and retarded after I get to them better (my tics don't help either)

How do I make friends and reap the benefits of having connections?

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

What do you like doing in your free time?

StonedTime
StonedTime

What do you mean by "reap the benefits?" Maybe start with the attitude/approach. I have a few lifelong friends, but they are there almost by default not because I'm necessarily getting anything out of that friendship. Define your problem.

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

you can try r9k

JunkTop
JunkTop

Veeky Forums always says to make connections and network to have a good job career

Illusionz
Illusionz

Yeah, that's very true, but making connections is working at a place where people want to keep working with you. So when you or they leave a company, they will sing your praises on the phone. Over time, you'll have enough people to broadcast that you're looking for a job and someone who would want to work with you. Go for a bigger corporation. They're almost legally obligated to give people chances.

How old are you btw?

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

I'm 18, graduating high school this year.

Spamalot
Spamalot

Don't sweat it man. When you get out in the real world, you're going to meet a variety of people who even you would say "wtf" to. Don't be so self-conscious. I'm 33. It's rough. You'll figure it out. All of us have to. It's all about how you take it. Most people you meet are going to be stupid. Just be consistently better than them, always be available to work hard when it's needed, and you'll do fine. Most people I work with don't have that extra gear, and that's what makes me stand out amongst my peers. It's a lot easier than it sounds, picking up a shit shovel once in a while. You're all good. Just keep grinding.

TechHater
TechHater

It is my life mission to help people with their social anxiety/social awkward problems. I am in the process of starting a non-profit for that specific purpose.

Where do you live? I might be able to help you if you live near.

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

you weren't "diagnosed" with anything because all of that shit is made up trendy diseases. hippie parents today have this unspoken rule that you must stick with whatever the child has or thinks at age 4. You don't have to be a serial killer and beat it out of them, you just have to let them know that this excuse isn't going to work because if you let it go on, they will keep this idea forever that they have a "disease". they know they can get out of anything because they can just bring this up and pretend to be "offended"

autism/adhd/assburgers are all made up. you never heard about this shit for 2000 years, all of a sudden we have hippielord parents letting their kids make shitty decisions and making sure everyone else lets them keep the idea that they have a disease and then we see all this autism/etc shit crop up.

next you're going to see kids refusing to learn how to read by way of saying that it gives them a really painful migraine within seconds and you'll see some made up disease for that and it will be called dysliterism. Everyone hates math so why not also have additism. You can even pronounce it like some european doctor's name to make it sound serious like "a DIT tism" or "a DEE tism". lackadaisycathro disease.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

You hear that OP? You aren't awkward at all and you actually have a bunch of friends! It's all in your head, you dirty hippy!

You're just argueing semantics and it doesn't help OP at all.

Lunatick
Lunatick

I'm going to be nice and for the sake of argument acknowledge your made up diseases as being real.

The problem you're going to run into is that no private business is ever, ever, ever going to give a shit about it. This matters because the private sector is going to pay higher and be a better and more fun job. They don't have an obligation to care or give a shit because what you're saying is when you walk in that you can't do the job because you can't talk to people.

You don't see handicapped people at private business unless it has absolutely nothing at all to do with the job for example someone who can't walk doing clerical work. You couldn't expect to be a car salesman in a wheelchair no matter how much you whine and scream about equality, because there is no way you are ever going to be able to do it so they will not hire you. Same exact example of car salesman, if you admit you cannot talk to people, there is no way they are going to care.

You'll think that pretending to have autism or whatever other fake disease is a clever way out but you are only hurting yourself. You will only be able to get shitty government jobs or live off of welfare which is always going to just be just enough to barely cover poverty tier living expenses. Put yourself in the shoes of the business trying to make money. Why do they give a single fuck about your disease, real or not?

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

Be an accountant and a serial killer. Watch The Accountant for an example of what to do.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

implying private businesses are not filled with sociopaths and uber autists

King_Martha
King_Martha

This is an excellent point, and the reason why they are there is because they learned to fight it. I guarantee you that none of these people mentioned in the interview "I have autism".

you will have to stop mentioning to everyone online you have autism. so that you can stop mentioning it to everyone else. nobody else is going to care about your autism either.

Even if I was "literally diagnosed" with autism, from a doctor, I wouldn't tell anyone and I would fight it. It's not really going to get you out of anything is the bottom line. Or I mean, you can go ahead and try it if you want, just don't be surprised when nobody gives you anything for it.

hairygrape
hairygrape

I wouldn't tell anyone and I would fight it
this is pretty much the secret.

people that know about autism will spot you in a minute flat, but everyone else will just think you're a bit odd.

the real problem autists have isn't tics or eye contact or weird conversational style. It's usually just a lack of curiosity about others and an inability to listen to what people have to say.

So OP, you'll make friends if you're actually interested in other people, and when you're talking with them take the time to listen and understand what they're saying instead of just planning what you're going to say or wondering if it's time to talk yet or thinking about how you look or repeating everything they say under your breath while staring at your shoes and snapping the fingers of your right hand.

this is a tall order, but you have to actually be more interested in other people and less interested in yourself and what they think of you.

Emberburn
Emberburn

1st step is to accept and eventually love yourself. People gravitate to positive people.

Practice being social just like any other skill. CBT, especially progressive desensitization, will help.

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

Trust. It's hard. Just try your best to listen to people and relate. That's litterly all you have to do. Just focus on what they're saying and think of something you can relate to with. Can be anything. You'll get use to it. It's fucking hard as fck, I get it. But some of these people you will never ever meet again in your life. You can be as autistic as you want, but if you don't work with them or speak to them on the daily what's it to them?

Your ticks. Find ways to spawn them into something else. I'll admit I will randomly go off in the car. But hey, I'm alone and it gets the tick done n over with. When in front of people, energize the tick into a tap, rock, or just go on a tangent about something but keep it professional. And I'm serious about that. If you're talking to someone and you feel it is about to kick in, find a reason to professionally say something informational about the topic. Find your rythem. And you will when you start talking to people. But I'm telling you, that you really have to try at it.

I'm not sure of your age, but it will get worse the longer you prolong it. When you're at the gym, just try complimenting someone on something. Can be anything. Litterly do it. Better yet, do that at Walmart as you'll probably see that person again. And it can be awkward, doesn't matter, you're learning and growing.

K?

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

Give Metta (loving-kindness) meditation a shot. Read and watch videos about it, then practice by yourself for one hour every day for six months and see how your life changes.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

A ton of startups have been founded by a socially-awkward autismo and his extrovert business partner(s). Just focus your autism into something technical that most people don't have the time/patience to study and seek out someone with connections who'll exploit your talents to get ahead.

viagrandad
viagrandad

makes me standout
posting on Veeky Forums

happy_sad
happy_sad

Don't love yourself like says, just don't hate yourself. You shouldn't be standing in front of a mirror going "hurr I hate you" or jacking off over yourself. You should be making decisions without emotions.

Real world experience is probably important for someone with autism. You need to focus on fact finding and information gathering so you don't go off on a tangent. For example when trying to start a business you inevitably come across that problem or barrier to entry that stops most people, at this point you really need to be ruthlessly practical if you want to make progress, I can imagine someone with autism overanalyzing things when a solution lies right under their nose.

social skills
Develop an inner critic to cut down on saying stupid annoying things, but always fill awkward silences. Unless the other person is busy of course. Don't be a cynical douche, be a realist by all means, just don't confuse it with cynicism and make everything melodramatic. Don't give up on people, not because you are a nice person, but because humans are flawed creatures and there is no point letting petty everyday things stand in the way of you greater goals. Humans are like dice, you can get a 6, you just have to keep on rolling. Humans have tender egos and a fear of losing social status. Criticize people in a plain unemotional manner when they are being irrational but then move on quickly from mistakes or you will train them to hide their mistakes or worse stubbornly defend stupid decisions. The best form of criticism is to feed them facts and logic one step at a time, leading them gradually to your conclusion, all without it seeming like you are doing so. There is usually no need to follow "48 laws of power" type stuff and rub the salt in, unless you happen to be vying or a big promotion or something, that kind of edgy dark stuff is a minor consideration. I guess normies like are basically right here.

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

This reply was a total non-sequitur to what I said.

Did you even read what I posted? OP is awkward and bad in social situations and he needs help making friends.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

Who called you a peer?

Booteefool
Booteefool

bridge club is always a good non-work way to make connections
just be nice to the old ladies, and learn/play the game
you can sell them all an annuity or help them sell their home later in life

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

I think an autistic friend would be fun, always have something retarded to say that will make you laugh :)

Snarelure
Snarelure

most people are over-judgmental. sadly humanity is driven by bitterness and jealousy towards people who are different.

don't worry. when you turn 30 you would start to realize that many people that consider themselves "professionals" are hacks that sell shit.
work on yourself and try to get better