Historical misconceptions that make you cringe thread

>Hitler was a fascist
>Pinochet was a fascist
>True Fascism has been tried

>Jesus
>Fitting modern political spectrum at all

>Left right paradigm
>Existing in that time

>Rogue rabbi of 1st Roman Judea arguing 19th century philosophies that only make sense beyond broad strokes in an industrial age society;
OK

Jesus wanted more equality, opposed imperialism, and spoke our against moral traditionalism.

This makes him a leftist.

>Left right paradigm in his time
>Existing
>Quantifiable

>the Wehrmacht was the best army of WWII

Well, the english language didn't exist either in his time, yet we use it 'round these parts to communicate with one another and to quantify and exchange ideas.
But you're welcome to try and justify Jesus as a right-wing/centrist figure, or make a better case why left-center-right dichotomy can't be retroactively applied to certain historical figures or movements.

>history is relative

>opposed imperialism

Not really, it didn't seem that big a concern to him because the "Kingdom of God" was coming anyway

>Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's

Paul also isn't that concerned either in Romans 13 if that counts for anything.

>Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves

If left right paradigm's didn't exist, we have no basis on which to judge how he fits in.
>Let's apply current moral standards to historical figures

No such thing as left-wing right-wing politics until the French Revolution you fucking mongrel.

>Luftwaffe were competent
>The British were all in favour of the war, even through the hard times

It clearly exists. If you want more equality, you're on the left. If you want less equality, you're on the right.

Holy fuck get off my board retard

Not a fucking argument. As pointed out it didn't exist

>The Rus was founded and colonized by Scandinavians

>jews control everything behind the scenes
>anglos dindu nuffin!

You say that so assuredly, as you think a leftist definition is only applied as a positive thing in the eyes of the people applying it.

>But you're welcome to try and justify Jesus as a right-wing/centrist figure
He never called for the abolition of the French Monarchy.

>communism is the opposite of capitalism

Who's to say he wouldn't have had he decided to stay? God?

>Who's to say he wouldn't have had he decided to stay?
That's whether Jesus COULD have moved to the left. But as it was, he never called for the abolition of the French Monarchy, and so couldn't be placed on the left.

>Poland is entirely an innocent victim in the outbreak of WW2
The League of Nations disagreed.

>redistribution of wealth

Wow, this is some truly shit theology. The Kingdom of God is one in which all are equal and has nothing to do with imperialism.

>render unto Caesar what is Caesar's
yeah. nothing. Caesar gets earthly goods, fine, take it, no skin off my nose.

Jesus' philosophy was 100% left wing in nature and you're a neoliberal heathen if you disagree.

>the Civil War was about slavery
>the Civil War was about Statea Rights

Both are ridiculous oversimplifications of a complex socio-political-economic crisis that arouse from hundreds of contributing factors.

this

People act like the Civil War was something that started overnight when it was the result of years and years of cultural differences between the North and South that go as far back as the 1600's.

>Judaism is older than Christianity

I think what he meant is that if somebody today expressed the same views that Jesus appears to have had (turning one's cheek, opposing religious orthopraxy, supporting the poor over the rich, etc), that person would be considered rather leftist

>The bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki weren't justified

>WW2 was an ideological war
revisionist cunts tricked me into this shit

the allies fought against germany first, nazism second

>leftism existed in Bethlehem in the year of our Lord 30
Will you please stop trying to apply modern standards to historical figures. This is fucking history 101 you retard

>Judaism was the first monotheistic religion
Not a mistake that gets made here often, but the amount of times I hear normies bring it up is annoying.

I'm pretty sure that the Eastern front was, like, really ideological.

You're probably trolling, but I'll take the bait. What user is trying to say is that "Jesus" as he is described in the Bible had views more in line with modern leftists than modern conservatives.

Any time someone applies modern morality to historical events I die a little. If you do that 99% of human existence is 100% populated by immoral people.

>What user is trying to say is that "Jesus" as he is described in the Bible had views more in line with modern leftists than modern conservatives.

A society trying to live perfectly by Jesus' standards would be so pacifist it wouldn't function. If that's your analogy for what "left-wing" is, in your view the left is incredibly self-destructive.

Jesus was a staunch Libertarian who was committed to ending taxation

>capitalism is a political system that can be compared to communism

>AM I BEING DETAINED?
>AM I BEING DETAINED?
>AM I BEING DETAINED?

Mark 12:17 retard

Veeky Forums banter is amazing
I should come here more

This is why you make a shit historian. How many different people need to explain this to you? You cannot apply modern thinking to historical characters. This is a simple concept you are purposefully trying to obsufcate

Fuck nearly choked on my tea

>Aztecs saw a horse for the first time only when the Spanish arrived
>Mayas reached the level of civilization they did without discovering the wheel first
>Galileo was jailed for saying that earth revolved around the sun
>Italy backstabbed Germany in WWII
>Jesus was a Jew

>b-but the left-right spectrum didn't exist until recently

So what? The general ideas and principles that made up each side did, and we can pretty clearly look at Jesus through his history and statements and deduce which he would fall under/sympathize with, or at least which one his message is more compatible with.

LUL

>Render unto Caesar what belongs to Caesar, render unto God what belongs to God.
>Opposed Imperialism

>I come not to destroy the Law, but to fulfill it.
>Spoke out against traditionalism

So you've never actually read the Bible.

You are deliberately fucking with us, aren't you?

>I'm a modern, provincial, narcissist with a TV education who interprets everything I see through a blinkered ideological prism, and I think positively of Jesus, therefore Jesus was a leftist. Love wins!

I think his problem is that he thinks of his own worldview, not as an ideology rooted in a particular place and time, but as the objective frame of reference throughout time and space.

Trying to match up complex political philosophies on a right/left spectrum is incredibly stupid, and you should feel bad for doing it, and especially bad for anachronistically trying to graft it onto the past. You are also making the mistake of confusing your interpretation of the principles with the thing itself, and you are assuming that there is only one way to implement those principles.

>The general ideas and principles that made up each side did
Not really. You can read plato and aristotle and relate to their interpretation of what democracy, oligarchy and autocracy were to today's standards until you realize they were all slavers.

Marxist/socialist ideas were adamant in deconstructing conservativist moralism in a way Jesus couldn't possibly relate to. Claiming otherwise is clinging to a level of anachronism that most far-left academics would be unconfortable with

>muh 6000000 died in leg gas chambers

>jews built the pyramids

>Jesus was white
>Saladin was a k*rd
>Avraham Avinu was not Turkic

>Jesus was white
Couldn't he be ""white"" in a lebanese sort of way? I'm not white myself, so I honestly could care less about this. But seeing how people in the region look today and back then, the idea that a Jesus with fair-ish skin, blue eyes and brown hair is absolutely impossible seems a bit forced and PC

>could care less

couldn't care less, I guess? English is evidently not my first language

>america is great

He was a libertarian, but not a capitalist

Let me remind you that communists also wish to abolish taxes

Crikey

>social democracy is socialism

Well, if by "white" you mean Caucasoid then he was.

>atheism isn't a religion

>Marx invented class conflict analysis.

Ashkenazim are all descended from the Khazars

>everyone believed that the earth was flat before 1492
>columbus discovered america
>columbus "discovering" america somehow proved them all wrong
>columbus was a genius in a world of sheep and not some retard who just rolled a natural 20

>>everyone believed that the earth was flat before 1492
>>columbus discovered america
>>columbus "discovering" america somehow proved them all wrong
Man, those are some big ones everyone has probably believed at some point and they're just so fucking stupid.

That's literally the modern definition of the left-right dichotomy. Leftists believe this should be more equal and inequality is bad, while rightists believe that equality is impossible that that inequality is natural and good, while both near the certain agree on equality of opportunity.

>Napoleon was a manlet

Those are literally all true

>my opponent is making a clear, well-mannered argument
>better insult him and refuse to back up my own opinions

I AM AUTISTIC!!!!!!!!!!

>Galileo was jailed for saying the earth revolved around the sun
Explain this meme to me Veeky Forums? Did this really happen? All other places say this was the reason

I cannot believe that this isn't bait, but I know some people who are exactly this stupid

all these
>native americans were peaceful dindus
>everything in the middle ages was dark, everyone was miserable, ignorant, and religion was evil
>germany invaded russia in the winter
>all six million jews were killed in gas chambers
>nobody in germany knew about the holocaust

autism is curable

>the pyramids were not buld by alien reptoids

*build

*bult

*builded

*maked

A lot of people don't seem to actually understand what capitalism means.

>Germany is an ancient country with a long and successful military history

crafed

>The US was always a free trade economy
>Globalization is a modern phenomena
>Ancient Egyptians and modern Egyptians were different peoples
>The Roman Empire fell in 476
>The Slave Trade was started by Europeans
>The CSA would have sympathized with Germany rather than Britain
>The Monroe Doctrine was a real thing
>Latin American states are independent thanks to the US and not thanks to the Royal Navy

>The Monroe Doctrine was a real thing
>Latin American states are independent thanks to the US and not thanks to the Royal Navy

t. Imperial Britfag

>>Globalization is a modern phenomena
*phenomenon

...

>stalin was good