How to protect car from retards ?

Hey Veeky Forums, how do you legally protect your car from raging retards who swing open their doors ?
Sadly, gluing nails to my car isn't legal in my shithole, aside from 360 dashcam coverage to determine who did it, I'd rather be able to prevent it entirely.
Any of you guys know of any products that make this possible ?

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you dont, thats why i want to get a shitbox, its called shitbox for a fucking reason, if it takes me from A to B, works well and is reliable IDGAF about anything else.

You could literally take a ball point hammer and make little dents on it like a motherfucking golf ball and I couldn't give a shit, maybe it will even go faster.

If you're so worried about that shit, all you can do is park away from everyone else. But you won't have time for that because your stress levels are going to kill you if you keep going at the rate youre going.

Nothing you can legally do to protect your shitbox. You could park away from everyone, take two spots, or just never park it anywhere but at home.

>Glueing nails isn't legal
Nor would it look good on the paint.

Here's a story about a friend of mine that shouldn't forget to take his meds. He's extremely irritable, very high energy, with a really bad temper.
>Few years ago friend of mine took up a job at an auto body shop
>He was slowly prepping to paint his first car, an 84 Bronco
>About the time winter rolls around he finally finishes said project and stops at my house with it
>He takes me out for a ride and we stop at a few places
>Decides to take us to WalMart to buy some odds and ends
>Parks away from everyone, not a single person is nearby
>We come back out, get in the truck, and a beat up Chevrolet Cheyenne pulls up next to us
>Straight pipe roar, primer and rust all over his doors
>Friend and I look over while the carb'd truck warms up
>Guy gets out and slams his door directly into my friends Bronco
>No way it wasn't intentional, I sat in silence
>Friend gets out and just starts kicking the dudes truck going apeshit
>They're now screaming at each other and it's escalating quickly
>Eventually the dude walks away after repeatedly shouting it's just a fucking Ford
>Friend gets back in steaming, I have no idea what's going on
>He gets out, grabs something from one of his grocery bags
>Can't see what he's doing with the dudes truck
>Gets back in and I see an empty 5# bag of sugar in his hands
>Starts telling me his extremely pissed off and he would've done more cosmetic damage to the guys truck but it's obvious he don't care
>He then starts telling me he's glad the guy mucked up his fresh paint as he was upset with how that area came it

I personally park right in with everyone else. Usually choose cheap shitboxes that are in excellent condition. Brand new vehicles and vehicles in poor condition are no go parking zones.

Import that Citroën that has some gigantic rubber bubbles in the sides.

The thing is that I don't want a shitbox anymore, I want a car I actually like and don't want the bullshit of having to worry about whether or not I will pass these liberal bullshit emission tests and all that.
Not being afraid my car is gonna shit itself when driving and stuff.

I was looking for an a e s t h e t i c option to put something on the sides of my car but some of these things look so fucking ugly.

>The thing is that I don't want a shitbox anymore, I want a car I actually like and don't want the bullshit of having to worry about whether or not I will pass these liberal bullshit emission tests and all that.
Not being afraid my car is gonna shit itself when driving and stuff.

What does that have anything to do with people not fucking it up when you park it?

It's plastic, not rubber.

That was unrelated, I just mentioned I don't want a shitbox anymore that I don't feel comfortable in because I expect it to fall apart around me while on a highway.

Yeah and it's far from perfect, they only have 2 models with that thing and one of them is placed at a useless height.

People will fuck up your ride because reasons, someone may think you're doing well in life and get jelly and decide to key your car, you may have pissed someone off trying to park your car and they're pissed about their own life they have to scratch the shit out of your car, some old lady may hit your doors while getting into her car. That shit will happen every god damn day and you can't exepct it not to.

The entire reason I brought up the shitbox argument is exactly that, no one gives a shit about a shitbox and will actively avoid it because they know you don't care about a few scratches, when you have a new car its like everybody fucking flocks around it, sits on it, parks next to it, or attempts to and hits the doors in the process.

If you're gonna worry about this sort of shit you're gonna get into an early grave son. Get a car you like, but don't expect it to be scratch free.

>Work in a grocery store for two years
>Shitbox is now covered in little dings

Well, they do sell stick on rubber trim that's somehow discreet... Thing is that angry bars of soap don't have lines that go well with those. You have to make it look like shit and damage the paint with adhesives so it doesn't look like dinged shit lol.

Really, just get a reliable econobox that you won't mind having some cosmetic damage and leave the ceracoated mirror finish hoods to the autistic boomers that are too old to actually drive their landbarges. Even if your car isn't super nice jealous fags will ve buttblasted you can afford a brand new base model shitbox and fuck with it.

Not saying you shouldn't get a nice car, but it's always nice to have a beater you don't have to worry about much.

>to also have a beater

In France almost all cars come with plastic bands all around the doors

So everyone slams their door into the cars around theirs because they think it's safe and it's horrible

...

what did he mean by this?

perfecto

I always park well away from other cars, or if I have to, park next to the more expensive looking cars as the owners are usually a little more cautious than the rusty shitbox owners.

I remember once when I was sat in my car waiting outside the store where my girlfriend worked to pick her up, and some car pulls up just ahead of me next to a trolley bay, it wasn't a particularly nice car but it wasn't a total shitbox either, and the woman in the passenger seat just flung the door open hard against the stainless steel railing of the trolley bay, it actually hit so hard that it rang out really loud. When people do shit like that it makes me realise how vulnerable my car can be.

really you cant do shit to protect your car, i bought 5y old audi few months ago, and already someone managed to rearend my cars front side bumper and left a nasty bruise, while i left my car parked near my flat, the fucker obviously ran away, without leaving any notice.
Really just buy a shitbox, i made a mistake of buying decent car.

youtu.be/rQaYPopt3rk?t=3m

what this has to do with anything in this thread?

>thread subject
>How to protect car from retards
>theft of headlights/tail lights and spare wheel out of car parked on his driveway
>what this has to do with anything in this thread?
>¯\_(ツ)_/¯

buy a nice car.
I've never had any of my cars dinged.
Maybe its cause I live in europe where every retard don't get given freedom to drive at age of 16.

...

>how do you legally protect your car from raging retards who swing open their doors

You can't. You set up too many requirements. Almost all people that would damage something will not do so in a situation where they see they will have something bad happen to them in return that they cannot do something against. If you can't create such a situation, then those asses will often keep on doing what they are doing.

am 16 can confirm

pay $2k and get a paper that will allow you to park on spaces for disabled

>liberal bullshit emission tests

oh shut the fuck up you useless teenager

Where do you guys live where this is an issue? I've never seen someone slam their door into a car.

>I've never seen someone slam their door into a car.
Not that guy, but when I was a student some years ago, I had my car parked in the apartment's parking lot. Some black guy was being evicted for not paying his rent for four months. He stormed out on his last day and I had the bad luck to be parked next to his car. He slammed it open into my car while I was in it. He knew I was there before he did that too. The look on his face was of pure raging burning anger. I have always been polite even when irritating stuff like this happens. He was about to assault me (I think) but he saw the management watching him from the apartment where he was evicted and backed off and drove away. I guess he didn't want to be arrested for assaulting people at the apartment complex after he was evicted.

I didn't know and went to the manager to report the ass and his plate number in case other residents had similar complaints. That way, managment can build a case file on a problem tenant. The managers told me of the situation. He had avoided eviction so long because he used the anti-discrimination law to file injunctions against eviction. He then managed to get the case rescheduled again and again to delay it to extend the time he could stay at the apartments. When the case went to court, he lost due to lack of evidence.

why would he have to pay if he already qualifies?

By leaving the car in your garage and walking... It's just a fucking car.

Don't take 2 spots if you take 2 spots your asking to get your shit fucked with.

OP here, this is the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed and if I actually lived in a libertarian utopia instead of a communist shithole, I would totally have this installed to deter those who violate the NAP.

>why would he have to pay if he already qualifies?
Because he doesn't qualify but he's getting a lawyer for that 2K to finagle reasons why he needs to get a handicapped card to hang on his mirror.

I could easily fake that card, but I have no intention of taking a parking spot from old people.
Also I live in Europe ( Belgium to be precise ) and we don't have this problem like America does, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be aware of it.
I'm also in this stage of my life where I don't have kids yet or needing to live on a low budget to pay off loans and shit, so I'd like to have owned a car I actually like. I need to get rid of my shitbox before I need to have the timing belt changed because I will not be getting those costs back once I sell it and if I just purchase a used car that I actually do like, I'm still gonna be spending a lot of money to turn it into something that fits my criteria. I'd really like to get a new car for simplicity's sake but I don't trust people and I'm a magnet to misfortune.

TL;DR Why can't I have nice things ? I want a nice car that doesn't get fucked by someone else. There's gotta be some aftermarket protection that doesn't look like ass and works, right ?

fucking niggers

Park at the end and walk. You get used to it.

What third world country to do you live where this is a probl-
>yuropeon plates
oh right lol

>Don't take 2 spots if you take 2 spots your asking to get your shit fucked with.
Take a picture and report that car to the Rate-Driver website.

rate-driver.com/wi/501wvv

It's not about where you live. You could live in the poshest neighborhoods in the U.K. Country side or gated communities in the states. Your car will get fucked up no matter where you live or what you do; the pickiest you are about shit like this the worse it will be. This is why you hear people say they'll never buy a new car again or why buying new is such a scam, you can't avoid scratches or dents, consider yourself lucky to avoid fender benders as it is. You can have nice car but it will attract shitty attitudes, the people I know who key other people's cars are usually rich idiots who will do it because they got pissed over someone taking a parking spot they wanted. They don't give a shit. And neither do niggers, considering you life in Belgium sandniggers don't care either.

>I could easily fake that card, but I have no intention of taking a parking spot from old people.
Here in the USA (washington state) it's a bit more dangerous to fake the card by scanning someone else's card, editing the expiration date on it, printing it out on an inkjet, and carefully gluing it to thin plastic stock. It's good enough to fool people at the store. Before they start driving, they put it away so that police don't see it and see that the car has no card assigned to either it or its owner. Suspicion of false documentation is sufficient to pull a car over for documentation inspection.

This does not account for poor park jobs due to people before them

>You could literally take a ball point hammer and make little dents on it like a motherfucking golf ball and I couldn't give a shit, maybe it will even go faster.

Kek'd at the image of that

whats that car? its looks like an e30 but has ford on the front

nvm its a FORD ESCORT MK2

>get car you like
>get cheap shitbox to daily
>?????

I really don't see the problem here bud.

this

car manufacturers already figured out the best way, which is put plastic bumpers along the side which protude more and are the main area that someone opening a door next to it will mainly hit first. plastic will look decent enough with just some dash shine shit and won't dent show scuffs visibly as well compared to a fresh painted car surface, and it's easy and cheap to replace unlike removing a paint or dent someones scraped a car door along.

Park next to cars from the 90s or earlier, they know your suffering. The worst possible car you can park next to is a soccer mom suv, also dashcams, dashcams fucking everywhere.
t. Had my chainsaw stolen.

Gotta love escorts, its the ultimate in lower middle class time and money wasting show offer.

>Any of you guys know of any products that make this possible ?
try living in a country where all the old people have been trained by the Gestapo and Stasi on how to spot and report dissidents
and you'll have four different witnesses calling the police for every minor violation, giving an accurate report of the incident and detailed description of the perpetrator

Theres a special spot in hell for those who fuck with another mans chainsaw.

>backing out of parking spot
>fuckhead in a mid 00s corolla flies up behind me at mach 1 and starts honking
>dont move and just look at this old geezer asshole
>when he drives off i see his car is covered in dents and stuff
i fucking hate car parks

No matter how much of a dick other people are, they dont compare to the sheer cunt fuckery that mother nature offers. Also dont ever use your own car to move stock.

>see person parked like an asshole
>don't also park like an asshole
I don't see the problem

The best part is that no soccer mom carries a knife or any tools in their car. She'll be biting at this for hours.

she's probably got fingernail clippers though

Thats why the good lord made 2.5mm wire and fencing crimps.

>tfw they used to be the shittiest of shitboxes
>tfw people literally gave Mk1 & 2 Escorts away for free at one point
>tfw would have been a millionaire if I took a few "worthless" escorts and stuck them in a barn for twenty years

>MANAGER

I know how you feel, my dad offered to sell me his 70 holden manaro for cheap as fuck, but being the stupid responsible fuck I am, I bought a Diahatsu Feroza and a trailer instead.

Park next to or between two of the cleanest cars on the lot

No, do the opposite. Park next to cars from the 90s that have no visible rust on them, they know your struggles. Soccer mom cars are the worst for door bashing and they can look deceptively clean seeing as they have 10k miles on them. Also try and park next to a tradesvan or truck, they tend to be good drivers (not huge showoff trucks, they are essentially in the same catagorie as soccer moms).

Cars used to have little, rubber strips all down the side for such incidents. Not sure why the idea was dropped.

>Soccer Mom calls for Manager
Manager: Ma'm what's the problem? Is that improperly parked car in your way of getting in or out?
Soccer Mom: Your cart is fastened to the door handle.
Manager: Not a problem. I will call for a tow truck. He will remove the cart as he tows the car to impound for illegally parking this way.

I could wish, can't I?

Don't park next to problematic cars

>only open spot next to niggered out 300c parked crooked

Ya no thanks, looks like I'm not parking here

The UN jews decided it was bad for the environment.

That anti-ding feature was from the age of sedans. But SUVs and other taller vehicles increased in number making these sedan features obsolete. Those taller cars' doors hit cars above the rubber trim and thus the trim failed to stop door dings from those cars. So the rubber bumper band trim was dropped.

They always have nail clippers with them.