Girls in your car stories?

>driving 8 year old sister around
>she finds razor... thing in center console
>picks it up and outs a big slash into the door handle
>pull over and yell at her for not respecting other people's property and ask how she would feel if I cut up her stuff

and that's how I realized that you should keep kids away from anything you care about

I'm a 36 year old cynical software architect making 150k, some would probably say that I have a heart of gold because I'm always helping people get a hand up on their situation, but I am a sarcastic douche.

What's the difference between software and cynical software?

I railed my fiance in the back of my Bronco a few weeks ago, in a parking lot at night. She tried to be quiet but she moaned pretty loud when she climaxed. And I came on her stomach.

I'm a 28 year old cashier

...

pics of your fiancee? just side face or something like that? she better not be fat

>I'm 29.
>I make $60k/yr at my day job
>I have a $2m trust fund and inherited a nice house that is paid off.
>tfw no gf

What year bronco? How's the space back there? Been thinking about buying one to do long road trips/camping excursions in.

Can I have $20?

>she finds razor... thing in center console

It's your car and you don't even know what you cut the coke with?

>go on a summer roadtrip with a female friend
>she's qt, small and has big boobs
>everything is great but her feet
>she decides to take pictures in/on the car
>"hey user can I put feet on your steering wheel and take photos?"
>remember her ugly feet and fat toes
>tell her that feet are dirty and it's stupid talking pics with feet on wheel
>don't want to offend her feet
>she starts to nag and throw a fit
>I agree only if she wipes the wheel clean with tissues
>tfw she wiped the feet before and the wheel after taking pics
>everytime I drive I remember the horrible feet
>she still thinks her feet are pretty

Seems likr everyone on Veeky Forums but me is exactly that. I'm turning 25 and starting a $10/hr helpdesk job

[spoiler]Post feet[/spoiler]

Naw man. I'm a mid thirties cynical asshole that works on trucks. You ain't alone

...

Totally acceptable looking feet.

>tfw gf has really cute feet
>but they have an eye-watering smell to them
>her used socks are radioactive with stench

>fat toes
>deformed feet
>totally acceptable feet
as a feet person I simply cannot accept these feet as acceptable and neither should you. Trust me, in person they are more grotesque then you can ever imagine. As I said, everything is great, tight body, huge boobs, cute face but horrible feet

>have gf
>do car things together
>let her drive my cars
>no problems
>even a RHD manual in the US

It must suck to suck

She's tall and skinny.

1978. Lots of space. No regerts

:-)

...

I dunno bro, i'm not even a feet person and I can tell those feet are kind of fugly.

They look like they belong on a pudgy midget.

>that's that shit i don't like

>girls in your car stories
n/a

yeah those are some shit feet.

How do I bring up with my gf that I want to do feet stuff with her. I'm too embarrassed.

I used to do feet stuff with my best friend when we used to hook up when we were younger (I lost my virginity to her when I was a teen). when I told her I don't do feet stuff with my gf she started making fun of me saying to just tell her I'm into it.

also how do I get my gf to like my friend? ever since they met I get the vibe my gf doesn't like her very much, as in she is more standoffish and not as open with her as she is with my other female friends.

she has never said anything negative about my friend and I never told her that we used to fool around when we were younger, but yeah she still doesn't seem to like her.

is my gf supposed to know about me and my friend's sexual history? because I feel like that would damage relations further.

>22 year old airplane mechanic making barely 22k a year
>no gf
>nothing good
>only got my car
>i love my car

this is a Veeky Forums board last time I checked, but
Current gfs are always jelly of your ex or close female friends, either it works or it doesn't. If you were intimate with your friend your gf can sense some tension or you told her for some reason. Telling about past sexual partners is a no-no for me, either be it number or just showing who you slept with, it's a discrete matter imho. If you plan on going more serious with your current gf and you built your relationship on honesty then I would tell her, but expect her to be angered, hurt or request you stop hanging out with your friend (I don't know your gf neither can I predict her actions). You should know best since you know your gf better, if there is nothing going behind the curtains with your ex and you want to have an honest relationship, tell her and tell her how trust is important and that she should know now instead of finding out later by accident. You can arrange a get together with a few friends including your ex and current gf, but if they don't tolerate each other, don't push it.
As in feet stuff, it depends on your relationship, keep it honest and tell her you like her feet and would like to get more kinky with her feet, nothing wrong with that. There is nothing more wrong when you are sexually shut down and can't grow with your partner (excluding perversions and other more disturbing fetishes, but hell what do I know).

I rented a car earlier this week and let girl drive it even tho she is kinda a bad driver. We picked it up late at night and I left her with the keys until we left the next morning. I was really worried since they had my credit card on file.

She loved the little hamster car tho, so I had to let her drive it most of the time. Although when we got into the city, I drove and then let her take over for the highway driving.

4 days after returning it and still no crazy charges on my card so I think I'm ok.

>tfw everyone on Veeky Forums is a mid 20 something with 80k/yr job
Retired empty nester. Retirement income all sources is approx 30K/yr/aftertaxes without touching principals and I'm not even drawing SS yet. Yes, I am double dipping. Spouse still works with nice benefits package. The house and cars are all fully paid for. Despite one being retired, our household income is still well above the _median_ seattle household income of 80K annually.

We were lucky to make a living when the slices of pie were large. With the portion of pie so small for the other 90% of the population, I don't see how most people of the bottom 60% will avoid being wage slaves or social welfare consumers for their whole lives.

Just because I'm feeling generous. This should be ambiguous enough, and I'm the only one who has this picture.

>let her drive my cars
You better check your insurance policies to make sure they are insured. Many policies do not cover loaning out your car to a non-family member.

>be me
>mid 20 something cynical misanthrope with a heard of ash and an $80k/yr job, probably $100k+ in a couple years
>no debt, trust fund
>not loaded, but my net worth is higher than 95% of 40 year olds
>haven't done the deed in 10 years, literally never in my adult life
>tfw when 6/10's occasionally flirt with me and my personality causes an immediate 360 moonwalk
>I have accepted my wizardry and focus on hobbies/fitness now

end blogpost

just get a hooker, you cheap jew.

>Not virgin
>accepted my wizardry
That's not how it works

>t. Soon to be Wizard

...

I exist in a different dimension. It's a new, raw wizardry, beyond virgin and non-virgin.
Given the choice, I'd choose your fate over mine. You know, ignorance is bliss and all.

>t. Ascended Wizard

meant for

Fuck you

Having one of these on your car ironically or not is maximum autism.

ITT: fiction

> lonely 19yo virgin
> furiously swiping on bumble on a friday afternoon, find this black chick, easy 9/10, add her snapchat
> don't even match with her but she adds me right away
> send a smug pic of my face with the caption: "would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?"
> "I'd rather cuddle with you"
> two messages later she tells me to pick her up at this bar distrinct at midnight
> edge for about 6 hours to interracial breeding porn
> 11PM, get in my nissan xterra, stuff like 10 condoms in my glovebox
> put on my fingerless driving gloves, aviator sunglasses, and pop in my initial d nonstop mega mix CD
> drive 15 miles to the opposite side of the city, going 10 over the whole way with a rock solid boner
> arrive at the bar district, call her, tell her I arrived
> she is hammered and doesn't even know what bar she is at
> argue with her for nearly an hour trying to figure out where she is
> finally she finds out that she is at a completely different bar, 15 minutes away
> finally arrive and pick her up, shes wearing a midriff tank top and tight jeans
> she has a tight stomach, firm breasts, and a thicc butt
> nearly blow my load just standing next to her
> cant go back to her place, she lives with her parents
> we agree to go to a park and cuddle
> sit down at a bench, shes on my lap, I stroke her hair, grab her ass and squeeze her tits
> she starts to get really cold, even though its only 60 degrees outside
> we get back in my car and drive to another park
> sit in the back and cuddle some more in the rear end, got the seats folded down
> its 2AM, she says she wants to go to sleep with me, but the floor of the trunk is hard plastic and she can't fall asleep
> decide to drop her off at her place, agree to meetup sunday at my place to 'hang out'
> drive all the way back home, so tired i might as well of been drunk
> beat dick, pass out on bed
> ask her to chill, says she doesn't do hookups

still aint fucked a girl to this day

diabetic/10

>pick up girl for a date in my early 90s NSX
>"ugh user this car is too low it's scary to be in"

When you get too old to live alone I'll move into your house and help you out, so long as you give me the house and half your remaining value when you croak
>tfw destined to compete with indian h1b faggots for jobs for the rest of my life

Should've fucked her in the park faggot

you did good user

everyone in my car knows not to touch anything unless i let them. suppose the people in my life are just sort of respectful of others' belongings.

>get qt gf in college
>she really enjoys sitting next to me on the bench seat
>we sing along to beastie boys really loudly
>she giggles when I do a skid

it was nice until her anger issues interfered with finals, had to break up with her.

>tfw took her virginity
>tfw still miss her sometimes, 3 year later

what if I am an asshole 30 year old with a 200k/year job?

Part 1
>Meet this girl through this other girl I banged a few times, her brother's girlfriend
>Before she introduces me asks me "PLEASE, user do not fuck this girl"
>"Okay" (what an interesting thing to say, hmmm)
>Girl is a total alleycat, making all kinds of perverted jokes and shit obviously they've been "girl talking" about me
>Drive them both around in my old Lebaron convertible end up smoking them out and doing a double feature Cannonball (1976) then Equinox (1970)
>She sends me a private message later "Want to know a secret? I was soaking wet the whole time"

Part 2
>Girl messages me about 11pm "user, these two drunk bi girls came to my BFs house trying to party and I gotta get them outta here come take them"
>Borrow Dad's Lesabre (4 more whores) and drive over there
>All three pile in, girl in the front with me the "couple" in the back it's some fat dyke and this little blonde waif who is clearly super wasted
>Take them all back to my place
>Turns out this is a case of this fat ugly bitch uses a young innocent girl to get stuff for herself from people: drugs, dick, etc
>Little blondie climbs onto my leg facing me, puts her face against my neck and starts stroking my chest and rubbing her muffin against my knee
>Other two girls are amused as I struggle to decide if this is a situation where I'm going to whip my dick out or not
>Just then, in comes the one occasional visitor of mine who would drop by after midnight
>Throws a monkey wrench into the whole thing since he was eyeing Girl and I'd have been stuck with just Tubbs and maybe-passed-out girl
>Take their drunk asses back to Girl's BF's when they're ready to pass out
>Turns out to be a good thing as the next day I check Myspace and little girl turned out to be fucking 12 years old
>Still real good for my rep though

cot'd

> stuck in LA traffic
> need to piss so empty out arizona green tea and relieve myself
> throw it under seat and forget about it
> couple days later have qt 3.14 in car
> she says she thirsty
> look around and find green tea, forgot it was a piss bottle
> give it to her
> she takes a sip
> apparently didn't notice she was drinking old urine
> couple hours later she complains about stomach ache
> mfw_I_remember.jpg

This really made me sad and I'm not sure why.

>go to the JDM corner in the genral once-a-week car meet in city
>girl in supra jumps out and runs over to my car all excited
>saying she really fucking wants one
>laugh and take shit off the side seat and let sit in and inspect the car.

Your pee must not taste half bad

user I....
how can anyone fuck up this bad?

This was 4 years ago and to this day I have never spoken to her of it. She has no idea why she got sick that day.

if you live in hawaii that's my friend's sister. looks like her

Part 3
>Be into RCs, have fat sack of greatest ever JWH-018
>Girl has had to move out to the shit-town because her BF stole a refrigerator from public housing or some shit
>Texts me "user, I haven't had a buzz in so long I'm afraid my slutty dissociative identity is going to come out you gotta help me"
>lolokay this should be good - primo up a black
and mild and drive the 30+ minutes through country roads to shitsville
>Pick her up off the street, "Hey Girl hows life in Shitsville?"
>"I'm not Girl, Silly. I'm her twin sister Amanda"
>Okay cool. Smoke this, Amanda
>Starts going on this huge tangent about how her "sister" keeps her locked in her room all the time and all she wants to do is get out and party, sometimes loses track of if it's "her sister" or the BF
>Yeah okay well we're on this long drive back to my place to get you wasted so why don't you play with my dick?"
>Proceed to get the hottest hand job ever starting out sort of reluctant but it turning her on as she goes, starts licking my precum off, getting her tiny hands all slobbery and eventually gets excited enough to really start sucking it but having to go back to her hand when her mouth can't stay open so wide
>Get her back to my place and dumbly let her have access to pure powder while I'm setting up a camera and "up-and-under" light (learned to have one from other shoots)
>Get her on camera and interview her crazy ass for a bit while undressing her as she gets more and more incoherent
>Put her ass in the cam, intending to have her on her hands and knees the whole time sucking my dick
>She literally passes out drooling on my cock
>Hmmm okay
>Get her passed out for like 20 minutes on cam before she comes back around and REALLY wants to fuck
>Manage to get my dick halfway hard again and fuck this hot mess
>Go on to fuck her lots more times, use her as a third etc after that but am sure to control her doses
>BF finds out I banged his gf and sister
>lol w/e they fat now

>got grill in my car
>directly injected her

>have qt gf
>have pigfat Camaro SS convertible
>giggles or squeals every time I floor it
>enjoys the top down on a good day
Feels good man

This is like having a pet dog. You are fucking your dog and think she is cute.

>You monster

heres a good girl in my car story
>
>
>

and another ride with my friend, because im feeling like typing stuff out
>
>
>

>be 17 at the time
>junior in HS
>have single turbo FD 13b from rich family
>cute girl in gov class
>start talking to her
>offer her a ride to school
>pick her up
>"this car is really really loud" she says
>proceed to take it easy for a second
>get to school
>friend comes up and asked me to rev
>2 step activate
>scared the fuck out of her
>shes still scared shitless of my car but i know shes hiding that she loves it

she was very cute and innocent despite being 18, feels bad knowing I blew what was probably a once-off tier of relationship.
Every woman over 20 seems washed up
:^(

>be 33
>start dating 41 year old Asian woman
>she's actually a great driver and and grew up driving stick in a BMW family
>everything about my Miata turns her on and she drives it every chance she gets
>I sell Miata and buy a Mustang because loltork murricav8
>she grew up in the south where only inbred hillbillies drove Mustangs and would throw beer bottles at asians
>girlfriend doesn't want to drive my car any more

I broke up with her for actual reasons but now I hate the Mustang so maybe she had a point. Should have gotten an E36 like she wanted me to.

I do not live in Hawaii

>is my gf supposed to know about me and my friend's sexual history

NO

>because I feel like that would damage relations further.

YES

Wait until you get into your 30s. Every woman will have been directly injected so many times they don't even look at you anymore. They just look past you.

You are just one more cock out of hundreds to strech their hole.

Don't beat yourself up over it. You always remember the good in relationships more than the bad. I still love my first girlfriend from almost ten years ago but when I think about I realize she never could have carried a healthy relationship.

As a guy in his 30s who has dated women in their 30s-40s, this isn't true. Only some women are like that, just like only some teen/twentysomethings are club whores.

I'm just hoping I keep my youthful look so I can punch below my age range if/when that happens.

>tfw you tell people you graduated last year and they ask where you want to go to college

true that, I just try to keep past relationships out of mind

>since she saw first hand what it took to learn lmao
literally my first driving lesson ever I could do hill starts fine. I spent the first half hour going up a hill just using the clutch
it's not fucking hard

I don't know where you are but in my country no girl makes it through her 20s with out becoming a club whore. They are either great at it and lose all ability to form releationships, or they suck at it and develop such severe self esteme issues they can't form relationships.

>be me
>19
>drive shitbox hyundai
>have gf
>her friends make fun of her when they see her in my car
>she doesn't care
>fast forward 10 years
>gf is now wife
>just bought her a new sl63 amg
>saw one of her old high school friends last week in a rusty neon

I legitimately don't even know what it is, it was in the center console when I bought it. It's kind of like a putty knife or something

shit I remember those in my dad's old car when I was a kid

what are they for?

They are for cutting your wrists open when you shunt your BRZ that is still on loan.

>childhood friend/fwb who's now an escort asks me for a lift
>nothing to do and the hotel is pretty close so no big deal
>drop her off
>doesn't even offer me a blowjob

It's a razor blade scraper...used for scraping paint drops/runs off of windows, etc...

I used to own a GSX Eclipse and remember clearly not being able to hold my then girlfriend's hand cause I was too busy shifting.

One time she held on while I was shifting, which was kinda cool.

Lol you don't sound like an airplane mechanic, you sound like a junior enlisted maintainer, e-3, maybe e-4.

Mainly for taking off things like inspection stickers or oil reminders etc in cars

22k would be about a 2 year E4 so yeah you right

>no not him

Girlfriends

>Undoes her shoes for a long ride
>Throws them on the rear couch
>Puts her feet against the window
>Folds the carpet against the door edge.
>Left an half eaten apple in the glove box, only noticed 2 weeks later
>Never does the rear shelf fully down
>Just throws shit in it from a distance

This one time she threw a lighter or some shit stabding outside the car and it went right between the little ridge where the handbrake goes. Deep into the bowels of the car. Never seen it since.

I love the girl but she is a fucking menace.

...

What
The
Fuck

Rip in peace clutch

My software might actually be cynical because it has low expectations of the user.

>driving oneitis home
>thanks for driving me home, user. today was a good shift!
>closes door behind her

all i got