Why can't I find a job?

KEKEKEKKKKKEKKK

instead of using ink to print off copies of this document save the planet and drink it buddo

Your resume is shit

How many pages it that and where's the personal letter

>Hobbies
>Gaming
>Family and friends

Nice one, autismo.

HAHAHAHAHAHA, THIS IS THE SADDEST RESUMÈ I EVER SEEN.

This is the worst resume that I have ever seen, not even memeing

Get help

>@gmail

Only plebs still use botnet as a professional email

Apply for CAD monkey jobs

t. Outlook scum

Bump

Nobody gives a shit about your hobbies. When did you work at your jobs? How much did you make? Where was it? What's the name of your supervisor? Don't show your GPA if it isn't good, and your profile message just sucks. Bad. Toss that resume in the trash and start again, put more effort into it than you did in school, welcome to adulthood.

How are you idiots all falling for such an obvious troll ? this board really has turned to shit

Not sure if troll but this is the worst CV I've ever seen.

bruh... this is a joke right

Nice bait. In case you're serious, go into much more detail with your skills. Also, why bother mentioning your GPA? Most employers don't give a shit about grades, so only include your GPA if it's good.

Is it acceptable to write your 2 week mandatory internship when you were 15 into a resume?

Studieng engineering, internship was in a car factory

Yes

>people are actually falling for this obvious bait

It is a funny post I'll admit

>gaming

I'd fucking l.o.l if I was given this resume. Not sure if bait

good

Use LaTeX for your resumee. I use cv-modern, freely available on the internet. Looks professional as fuck and got me some jobs already. If you apply at places where people don't know much about computers or have no idea what LaTeX is, you got a big plus already. If not, it's still a small plus.

Don't mention your gpa as well as your explanation for it.

Get rid of the "skills" section.

Get rid of "Extracurriculars"

Get rid of "Hobbies"

That's it.

Remove your GPU lel

Are ppl this much against Gaming? I have it on my CV and on the interview it was highly relevant, got the job. I am an Engineer in IT though, so I guess it gets more relevant in this area?

>be excellent communicator
>be excellent communicator

still can't get a job..

how about you not list your shit-ass score of a gpa on your resume lol. anything less than a 3.0 basically screams to your potential employer that you are a grade-a shit stain

I hope this is b8
>2.5 GPA
>I can tell you used a shitty font for your name even thought its crossed out
>You type "GPA" on one line and "GPa" below that
>You accentuate flaws (leading with "GPa is low")
>No punctuation
>Looks like legal papers
>Extremely vague and barely relevant hobbies
>Extremely vague skills

Buddy, imagine I'm a computer repairman. You ask about my skills and I say "Computers". Does that make me seem smart?

>tfw capable of working independently or as part of a time but STILL nobody will hire me

But I can do fucking either

I could do it independently OR be part of a team

What are they not getting

FUCKING BOOMERS RUINED THE ECONOMY

I went to university but I can't find a job for some reason

WHAT THE FUCK

FIX THIS SHIT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Wait, actually, I came here to meme but I have a serious question

I got my EE degree, and I got a 2.2, which means I'm somewhat employable but not universally employable. But my number grade was 59%, so I'm only 1% away from a 2.1 - quite employable. Should I put this number on my CV to show that, yes, I got a 2.2, but it's the best a 2.2 can be without being a 2.1, or does it seem petty?

Petsmart is one word

Isn't that something someone who worked there would know??

Someshing about this resume story doesn't add up

FUCKING KEK

Holy shit user, you're borderline retarded. The entire resume is absolutely atrocious.

This has to be bait.

What does Veeky Forums think of my resume?

Would you hire me based on this?

This has got to be some dumb joke right?

I don't know what's more pathetic

Making this as a joke or this being your real resume

>Worked at petsmart
>civil engineer

What does working at Petsmart have to do with getting a job as an engineer? If you never had an engineering related job, don't put random jobs on your resume.

>GPa

How about looking over your resume. No wonder why employers don't hire you. Employers won't hire someone who has misspelled words on a resume.

>skills
>computers

Wow, way to be specific there.

Where are your internships?

OP if you aren't trolling you need to hop on Fiverr or some shit and find someone to write you a resume which isn't pure spaghetti.

If you're looking for an engineering job, emphasize your skills and education. As it stands it looks like you're a food service worker who's pretending to have an engineering degree.

CHECKED

good start, your work description bullets are weak but then again what are you supposed to write with those jobs

impressions:
- summary is tad too long
- missing interests/university clubs line, give the interviewer something to relate to
- "I am intelligent", rephrase
- "working holiday and after 6 months i'm gonna piss off" when you could write "looking for interesting work opportunities in australia"
- an engineering degree doesn't speak to your character
- university degress usually come with a starting date

...

Can you guys r8 my resume? I just gave it a complete overhaul after getting rejected for an internship that I really wanted. I'm only a sophomore, but I'm finding a really hard time finding an internship.

Should I just kill myself? Honest question

>excellent communicator
No, you're not.

>"perfect English"
>says "customers" without the apostrophe somewhere like 2-3 times and only gets it correct once.
Seriously, kid? A
If you're going to be wrong, at least be consistent. Or at the bare minimum, don't try including "perfect English" and then fuck up 2-3 times. It also shows your lack of attention to detail.

>STEM degree from Canada
>"I think speaks a lot to my character as a person"
What the fuck are you even trying to do here?

I probably wouldn't hire you, but I also have never been put in a hiring position before seeing as I'm a uni student too. This looks like something one of my buddy's would write up in a "career placement" course or something.

Experience section shouldn't be a jobs description, list accomplishments and key moments.
Expand a bit on extracurriculars, what was your role in finance group?
Get rid of high school stuff, get rid of anything related to it, you're an adult now.
Customize your objective to reflect how their opportunities are aligned with your future goals.
Or just get rid of the objectives section altogether.
Since you're a sophomore, state it in your education. Some companies will only hire current sophomore or junior standing undergraduates.
Ehh, just take your paper and seek professional help from your college career center.

>2.5 gpa
user I....

Thanks for your input, user. I'll for sure get rid of the high school stuff and fix the experience. I just joined the Finance group and Portfolio group last week, so I need a little time to actually know what I'm doing there. Again, appreciate it.

How about mine.. I didn't go to collage btw.

this is actually great, its a little wordy though, resumes should never be more than a page

I am at university atm. I have been working in a family business on and off, sometimes more, sometimes less since I am 18 years old.
In the mean time I had 2 other part time jobs.

But because of the family-business job there are gaps between them. But I dont want to look like some lazy ass who wasnt doing anything in the meantime.

How do I write this into my CV? say that I had also a parttime job from 2012-present and had at times 2 jobs? or shall I fill in the gaps with this job?

The other problem is if I write that i am still wokring there is that some employee wont hire me because you are allowed to earn 8.500 € a year without paying tax, and if I already earned half of it I wont be profitable for them. But the family job isnt registred so in this aspect it doesnt matter, but the employee isnt allowed to know that.

A bit confusing and much to read, would be nice if someone who is experienced in this field would help me

I pray this resume is a troll

it is.
it's been posted at least twice on /pol/ in the last week by different people. It's on there right now.

>I just gave it a complete overhaul after getting rejected for an internship that I really wanted.
Great internship are really hard to land, don't let this worry you too much! There's always a good portion of luck involved whether you get invited, some companies can be as selective as inviting less than 5% of internship applicants to interviews in the first place.

Even more important is what you can do to secure your dream internship/job later, which is basically applying for the same job from a lesser well known company. If Goldman Sachs is your dream, find a(ny) internship at a(ny) other bank/investment company this year and you'll have a much better chance at applying next year.

>CV
Don't get rid of your highschool section in education, you have a great highschool GPA. Some (very selective) companies specifically ask for your highschool performance, in particular if you haven't finished undergrad.

Objective basically reads "give internship pls". Remove or rephrase to something very specific that you are applying with this CV to.

In your experience section try to write what you achieved rather than did (even if it sounds weird). Try "Trusted to manage whole online-store autonomously" etc.

Just say whatever sounds good, they aren't going to check that's shit

Just write Jimmy and Son (Family-owned) or whatever its called 2012-present

you stupid retard

Never put that your an entrepreneur on your resume, if you were a successful entrepreneur, you wouldn't be handing in a resume.

Also
>Revolution Books

Performed, not "preformed," user. Last line. You should do a check for typos too; that's just what I caught at a quick glance.

This.
>Remove your GPA unless it's a 3.0
>remove the excellent communicator in that section
>it's not work life it's Occupation/work history
>don't classify that it was a high school job. Just state the tasks that you were responsible for.
>And keep it short and simple, you have a max of 10 seconds to be looked at
>put the dates you worked next to the job. For example February 2014- January 2015
>computers isn't a skill. What do you do that makes you skilled in computers. Do you have coding experience, software development, hardware repair, shit like that.
>writing isn't a skill they need to hear, that's something they need to see
>star where you picked up these skills in a short sentence. "Took a programming class in high school" like that
>don't just say you were in debate clubs say the date.
>Take off hobbies completely
>add any volunteering you did anywhere
>Add achievements or honors that you received
These will make your resume half decent. Also make a cover letter

Education should be right after your summary. Also you should make your summary about 2 sentences max. But other than that it's pretty god

Is this from UIC? It's pretty good but get rid of high school no one cares about that

Looks like I didn't cover up good enough. Yes it is, and I will get rid of high school

I'll fix the objective. I also get what you're saying about " write what you achieved" , but I feel like the only thing I achieved is a good GPA in college and high school. Those jobs aren't that special, but I'll try to fix it up the best I can. Thanks for your help.

>I also get what you're saying about " write what you achieved"

Honestly it's mostly bullshitting when it comes to internships and entry level jobs but this is what recruiters want.

Don't sell yourself short, you wouldn't believe how many people in finance boast with their "treasurer and board member of abc club at university" when they actually "joined" by going to 2 meetings just prior to writing their applications.

Try to cater your CV to the specific job application you're going to use it for. They want programming experience/technical skills? Focus on things you did that cover that. They want leadership potential/people skills? Focus on how you tutored students to do xyz. And so on.

You're right, I think I might have enough to work with where I can bullshit some additional things in there (finance club, investing club etc.)
I have probably filled out about 60 applications since Christmas and have gotten only one interview.

I feel like I should put "pays extreme attention to detail" in there somewhere because literally every job description asks for that in some variation.

Once again, thank you very much for your help.

No fucking way, you don't seem serious at all. You're not going to be working for very long, and you don't seem that reliable. Plus, why are you fucking around in Australia when you should be trying to take advantage of your degree?

Hey guys I went to UIC as well

How's mine, Veeky Forums? I just started searching. My GPA is shit. I started another project, haven't put it on the resume yet. It's a comic book viewer, or will be, hopefully.

- invest more time in your cv
- improve layout of cv
- say what month exactly you will graduate
- any jobs/extra-curriculars whatsoever that you could list?
- use bullets instead of complete sentences to describe your projects
- link your programming skills directly to the projects you did
- focus your description on what you did/achieved rather than "my program does xy"

A hobby could be mentioned if it's related to the job, but you would have to be specific as to how it's related.

>ok
>ok
>ok
>nothing relevant. I've been told over and over again that employers don't give a shit about my non-CS work experience.
>ok
>what do you mean?

It's not that. I'm a member of both PMT and FIG. Pmt alone is honestly a very attractive thing to put on a resume because it's pretty much exactly what they expect you to do on a smaller scale
Are you a member of pmt?

Honestly when you're making your resume, pretend it's green text. The parts with descriptions limit what you say

(i'm a layman when it comes to programming so don't take this too serious)

try something like

8-puzzle solver:
- C+ based program to divide and re-arrange images to create a simple 8-puzzle program
- SQL socket interface flux manipulation to save progress on cloud

GPA should be 3.63/4.00, make sure the decimals match. I would also put the name of the school above the degree title, try to make the bullets more detailed (embellish, what valuable items, etc.), put the company name before the job title, be more specific in extracurriculars (member, treasurer, president, responsibilities?)

and next time you try to block out the location of something make sure we cant tell that it says Chicago, IL

would also remove objective section and high school section because youre not a freshman

>Are you a member of pmt?
No, I studied English.

ok, I see what your saying.

Ah well still it's not major exclusive. We had an art major and he was really good at it

>having an objective/summary at the top of the resume
>not following the goldman sachs resume template

Lmao I just joined PMT and FIG last week. Don't want to give too much away, but you have everything on my resume to find me out. it looks cool, but god damn I feel so new in there and it feels like everyone's ahead of me. I guess I'll get more used to it after getting to know more people.

Got it, thank you.

That's pretty good, I'm surprised I didn't think of it like that

btw I'm not sure why my ID changed

Go to career services at your school and schedule an appointment to work on your resume ASAP.

Fucking poverty resume that's why, my dog could write a better one

At least capitalise the A in GPA you mongoloid

The uic college carreer center is garbage. This is a really good resume for them.
Honestly half the people at pmt don't know jack shit. A lot of it is luck. If you don't know what anything means just ask your sector leader. Chances are they might not know either. But that should encourage you to look up a lot of this stuff. Also YouTube is a powerful mentor if you can use it right