How the fuck did humanity figure out how to make bread!?
Did someone just sit down and thought
>I should grind the shit outta this here seed
>and mix it with this other shit
>then leave it on this hot rock
and for that matter how long has humanity had access to beer/wine/alcohol?
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I couldn't tell you for bread, but grapes apparently ferment into wine quite easily considering how many natural yeasts exist. All it would take is for someone to pick some grapes, forget about them for a while, and then decide to sip whatever slush remains afterwards.
Most seeds are edible and can be preserved easily. It may have been labor intensive, but when they encountered lush patches of grass it would have been worth plucking them for later, then in seasons when food was scarce they would be motivated to mash them, grind them and cook them into something to fill their stomachs.
Domestication of goats and sheep probably preceded agriculture, so clearing areas for grassland would have increased the amount of lush patches of grass. It also meant they didn't have to migrate as much and could have people dedicated to processing flour and baking it and after doing this repeatedly for years and years they would discover various tricks of the trade like planting the most bountiful and easy to process wheat next to rivers and making clay ovens.
fruits naturally ferment, animals can get drunk eating them so it wouldn't be much of a leap to do it artificially
Crushing or grinding seeds and grains and soaking/cooking them in water/milk (i.e. making a sort of porridge) for eating is very simple and related first step.
>and mix it with this other shit
Bread at it's simplest is just flour and water. The flour doesn't have to be degermed or particularly fine either.
*at its simplest
>be hungry
>make yourself some porridge
>spill some of it on the hot rocks
>eat it anyway
>omg this shit is good
Now explain how they figured out how to use yeast
I'm more worried about how they discovered milk
What was he doing to that cow?
Are you retarded?
>kid's sucking his mom's fat tits
>oh no they're dry and he's still hungry
>well here's an animal that produces lots of easily accessible milk let's use it
How did they discover weed? Did they just start smoking plants till one tasted good?
>be hungry
>be horny
>make yourself some porridge
>put it up your wife's hot cooter
>eat some
>save the rest for later
>omg this shit is good
Probably (and this would apply for most smoking plants, from tobacco on up) someone passed by one that caught fire naturally, breathed in the smoke, and liked it.
All animals have cannabinoid receptors, including sea slugs. God designed living things to smoke weed.
by accident, basically everything starts to grow something if you leave it be for a while.
I suspect that people were just collecting shit for a fire and they accidentally hotboxed themselves in a hut or something.
If you want a real mystery then look up Ayahausca. Somehow natives in Brazil figured out that they needed to collect multiple totally unrelated plants in order to make the concoction work. They needed to acquire both an MAOI and a plant that contained DMT.
>Pa! The calf isn't getting up, and it looks really skinny
>shit son, if that calf dies we won't have any steers left after we had to eat the last one.
>but Pa it won't get up to nurse
>well we got to get the milk in it somehow
>Go fondle that cows teets 'till something comes out, then let it drink from your hands
>finished, now lets go eat
>*during meal, licks finger*
>the liquid I held in my hands left a pleasant taste, I wanna taste it again
>*goes to fondle the cow's teets in secret*
>*tastes good.cavepainting*
>don't use all dough at once
>leave some overnightfor tomorrow
>yeast grows in it
>use old dough when mixing new dough
>fluffy bread
I watched a documentary on bbc about the history of baking. Can't remember what it's called right now.
But if I remember right people would mix grains, water and whatever berries/nuts/herbs lying about and boil it in a little bag. Baking evolved from there.
Honestly, I believe they just tried to eat whatever plant they found to see if it's edible or not.
so they most likely ate it first, started tripping balls, then threw it up
Then they might have tried to cook it, and well you should be able to guess what happens next...
THC is heat activated so if you just eat raw plant weed you dont "trip balls"
>heat activated
>implying human bodies have no heat
you'd better at least say the required activation temperature is above normal human body temperature or better yet list the exact activation temperature
Not him, but it doesn't work like that. You need temps over 100F for cannabis to become active when edible. If you just eat weed it will do nothing at all. Try it if you don't believe me.
Is probably what happened.
It's like 175 degrees C
This might have been easier than discovering how to grind grain into flour efficiently. Yeast exists naturally in small quantities and multiplies in environments with low oxygen where it faces little competition from other microbes, so it would simply be a matter of leaving unbaked dough for a period of time before baking it as someone might do if they left the work unfinished.
Improperly stored grain might begin to germinate and malt which in turn resulted in other types of yeast being introduced into the kitchen. At some point they determined the fermented malt near the opening of a container of grain was a leavening agent and intentionally let grain malt and ferment, this in turn may have led to the discovery of beer.
>autism
do you really not understand what he was getting at?
As a beer lover, I would like to think we invented beer before we invented bread. Priorities and such.
heat activated = needs exposure to a source of heat
the most common range for heat-activated products is usually around the 80-120F, even among nature
Well beer was invented from porridge so it's so-so.
you can literally leave some mash of flour and water out on your windowsill and it'll be colonized by yeast
weed buds are like a big weird dense cluster of plant matter. Somebody probably tried cooking it thinking it was a weird vegetable
Before beer we had ale, someone had to discover the use of hops.
>making bread for the tribe
>have a cup of beer nearby in case you get thirsty
>accidentally spill beer into the dough while kneading it
>ohshit.pictograph
>hide your fuckup under some skins so oogtar doesn't laugh at you
>leave for an hour to go collect ingredients for another batch
>come back later to find that your "fuckup" has doubled in size
>intredasting
>decide to bake it out of curiosity
>resulting bread is softer and easier to eat
Literally every culture claims that agriculture was taught to us by the "gods"
Why are we even denying the logical explanation at this point?
>denying the logical explanation
but who taught the aliens?
and it would be really inconvenient for the priests if the most important aspects of survival was due to human ingenuity and not their "gods"
>but who taught the aliens
Other aliens, of course.
>ale IS beer
>whether the beer is considered lager or ale has nothing to do with hops but the type of yeast
How deep does the ancient alien hole go?
Now you're asking the right questions Neo
>but who taught the aliens?
Historically ale was bittered with blends of herbs and spices called gruit, and beer was the comparatively more recent drink bittered with hops.
...
I got a theory. It's that humans got bored and started doing random shit, like bang rocks or chew wood, they would finally discover something by doing random shit. Thoughts Veeky Forums?
On the same topic: milk
>hurrr who found you got milk from a cows udders and wot were they doing lololollool XDXDXDXDXD
Litterally by looking at a calf and seeing "hey, the baby cow gets food from the dangling pink thing! I wonder if the same stuff comes out if you just squeeze it without being a baby cow..."
Cheese the same thing
>lololollool rotten milk how disgusting XDXDXDXDXD Who thought of eating that?
Again, simple. They cut up a calf to eat, found all this white solid stuff in the stomach that was also edible and it went from there.
>weed
>tastes good
no, it was not. ale is is a type of beer and beer is beer, no matter is it bittered with gruit or hops.
Again, that is not the original definition. Ale was unhopped. Beer had hops.
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I may have been a bit presumptuous with "gruit", there is evidence for London ale at least being unherbed during the era of hop introduction.
This was discussed in a great documentary called, "How Beer Saved the World".
Also, Lambic Ale is made with natural yeast from the environment that ferments the beer.
Lagers are also fermented at a colder temperature.
Undoubtedly took a really long time. People started by chewing on wild grains, from there they had the idea of taking the grains off the stalks before eating them, from there so madman made the leap to "prechew" the seeds, perhaps for an elderly relative or a babby, someone else noticed that the prechewed grains dried into a kind of lump, that was easy to carry with you when you go out hunting, so he started preparing lumps of prechewed grains into "patties", then someone else left his dried grain patty by the fire and it cooked, and BAM, bread is born.
Probably the smell, which some people find pleasant, lead to people resting under cannabis plants and getting a mild high.
>Wheat seeds look kind of tasty (they really do)
>collect a load
>mash them together
>they keep falling apart
>mix with water
>mmmmm dough
>wait, lets cook it
>HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS AWESOME
Like that basically
This, we probably "invented" wine before we evolved into modern humans, like fire its an incredibly ancient technology.
We certainly had mead before we had agriculture.
Google sourdough. it basically amounts to "let it spoil". natural leavening is basically fermenting dough, and isn't much worse than making wine.
I'd give 50/50 on that.
malting grain is about as contrived (if not more so) as milling grain.
Are you talking about European bread or ancient flatbread which most ancient civilizations had?
Flatbread is pretty easy to make, just grind wheat into powder aka flour and mash the powder into a dough, flatten the dough by hand.
Then bake it.
lol