Tfw too large to fit in a Silverado 1500

>tfw too large to fit in a Silverado 1500

I went to my local Chevy dealership today and I my fiancee and I had a hard time trying to squeeze in a Silverado.

A while back I asked for suggestions on what vehicle would be large enough to support me and my wife, I was suggested a F450, but that was just as similar to the F150. I blame both Ford and General Motors for making vehicles too small to support my soon to be wife and I.

Please won't you help me find a good vehicle to support me until I drop this weight. I'm 538 lbs.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=b2GL2bnf_Kw
youtu.be/_JPwswJgSk4
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

We will tell you the same god damned thing we told you last time.

Quit eating so much, you fat fuck.

Once you're over 400, you're not even human. You're just a blob and a parasite on society.

I don't even eat much thanks to my new diet, stupid fuck.

fat and lazy

I bet your version and my version of "i don't even eat much" is completely different.
I eat 2-3 meals a day varying in size from tiny to large depending on what i am doing and how much energy i am using, this is without snacks between meals.
The only time i will snack is if i am doing hard physical labour and i need the energy to keep going.
but you...
i bet you eat 3 big arse meals every day then sit around doing fucking nothing while snacking every 15 minutes while blaming some thyroid disorder for your weight or something. probably slurp down diet cokes all day too without understanding they make you fatter than regular coke.

You can eat very little and still consume a fuckton of calories.

Don't forget the liquid calories either.

>538lb
jesus christ mate there is like nearly 4 of me in that fat.
To think there is a person sized skeleton in there somewhere...
Truly mind blowing that your body has not shut down yet.
imagine how much damage that has to have done to your everything.

Might as well cross off Silverado since this fat tub of lard can't fit in it.

It says overweright, it means people like in pic, not a literal hippopotamus

Im gonna have to be the one to say it aren't i?
if that guy lost weight his dick would be like as long as his humerus

Eat less, fatass.

>it's genetic

But then again you're probably just baiting.

>Eat less, fatass.
I am, how about you lose your virginity first, perma virgin diesel fiat cuck.

>>it's genetic

reading comprehension

Expected from a Fiatcuck.

Just buy a miata to make people laugh

That's a mini, you dumb shit.

No shit, I'm not wasting my time shopping a parasite into a Miata for your fat ass

>being this obsessed that he's wasting his time doing something all for his (You) sheckels

KYS man.

If you were eating less you would be losing weight at an incredible rate, fatass. That's what happens to landwhales when they stop eating as much.

>perma virgin diesel fiat cuck.
Yeah, that sure got me.
Can you even use your dick tho?
I mean, how much has it been since you could actually see it?
I'm quite curious on how you actually fuck with the other human blob you call fiancee.


Anywho, this is quite good bait. I mean, I hope it is. Because I seriously doubt someone would actually still have any will to live when you reach a point you weigh more than twice the weight of a baby elephant.

Stop posting these shitty reaction memes and kys

He's baiting. It's a smart bait tho, you can't help but to hate landwhales.

>dieselfiat cuck attempts to roast

nice first grade tier insults, not only are you a pathetic virgin that drives a piece of shit diesel fiat that fails in all aspects, but you can't even construct an original banter.

>If you were eating less you would be losing weight at an incredible rate, fatass.
I just started, dumbfuck. It ain't easy come easy go. But you clearly being a literal dumbass I thought I'd just spell it out to you.

>Can you even use your dick tho?
Yeah, in my woman.

A woman you ask? Yes, something that will forever be permanently absent throughout your life.

Nah, i rather not.

don't even listen to the fiat tripfag, he's this obsessed that he stalked me here LOL

>nice first grade tier insults, not only are you a pathetic virgin that drives a piece of shit diesel fiat that fails in all aspects, but you can't even construct an original banter.
>A woman you ask? Yes, something that will forever be permanently absent throughout your life.
Uhum.

>Yeah, in my woman.
Please, elaborate. I have quite a morbid curiosity.
Let's see how intricate is your level of bait.

Try a merc s class. Expensive as, but might just be big enough to fit you

Fuck dude, I remember this thread a couple months ago. Did you lose weight, big guy? I thought you were pushing 600 before you chose a truck. Good on yeh lad. Would suggest the one's Chevy's got, they're pretty roomy.

Mjet is replying to himself under another persona for recognition and respect.

This is lower than Alphonse holy shit.

If I was to create another """"persona"""" it'd probably be a weeb, not a landwhale. This isn't Veeky Forums.

Yeah.... Okay sure, landwhale.

I like how he glosses over all the posts that make him feel shame, truth hurts apparently.

Fatass' ass is too fat to fit in a fucking full size truck. Oh the humanatee. Listen wide load, passenger vehicles are meant to transport people, not planets. It ain't the manufacturers' fault that there's nothing out there that will accomodate you and your moon, your asses are just unreasonably huge. Have you considered just rolling everywhere you want to go? Would just take a little careful planning so your destination is always downhill of you, then you could maybe hire a truck and trailer to haul you back up as freight. I'd imagine this could be pretty convenient for you, the extra space in a 55 footer would come in handy after you clean out the local walmart's entire grocery section. Or does the truck just deliver your provisions directly to your house already? For your own transport you'd need a flatbed though, cause the crane wouldn't be able to set you inside an enclosed trailer. Rain would normally be a problem, but I assume, due to your mass, you have your own atmosphere, so it should be fine. Eh, all that would probably be a pain in the ass. Maybe you should return to the ocean to live with your own kind. I'm sure the rest of your pod misses you. Shit, they probably think you're dead. Most whales don't last this long after they've been beached.

Tl:dr Of course its too small dumbass, you're fucking fat as fuck. Cars are are made for people.

Captcha: wattles 2700

If you've got tens of thousands to piss away on a bigger vehicle, why not just use those funds to solve the problem directly? Go under the knife and get rid of the fat now and just keep driving whatever you have. Go to Mexico to get it done if you have to.

Buy a Dodge Caravan or a Dodge Charger, that's what all the sad excuses for a human existence on "My 600lb life" drive.

>Listen wide load, passenger vehicles are meant to transport people, not planets.
>It ain't the manufacturers' fault that there's nothing out there that will accomodate you and your moon
Fucking brutal

kekd loudly

This is the most American post I've ever seen.

> passenger vehicles are meant to transport people, not planets.

Holy shit, you two actually fuck? How much did you have to pay the team of engineers to design your bed? I don't know how they could make something to withstand the force of two celestial bodies colliding repeatedly.

Jesus Christ OP, how does it feel to know you are nearly fucking TLC-tier?

Just ring up seaworld and ask em what they use to transport their whales.

I'm 300 pounds and over 6 foot tall lard ass and I've never had a problem fitting in anything, compact cars included. Given I haven't been in many sports cars or cars in general. It's only hard to fit into stuff if you suffer from some sort of pain or are abnormally large

they're not even using those things anymore so, win-win!

>it's another Large Man attention whoring facade

I come from Veeky Forums and this fat fuck keeps shitting up our /fph/ (Fat People Hate) threads trying to manipulate people to feel sorry for him being a half thousand pound sack of shit. Any advice someone give him, usually harsh tough love advice, he snaps and attacks like the delusional fat fuck he is.

For the sake of your board, don't give him attention! It's what this guy wants. And obese man, please keep eating so you can shorten your lifespan.

he has near 250 pounds on you, that is nearly double your weight lad

Holy fuck your so bad I'm on mjet side. Lose some weight and stop wasting the tax payers money. There is no car out there for land whales. How you can still use your feet amazes me. I bet your too fucking fat for Lincoln town Cars.

Stop posting these bait threads, asshole. And if you are that fat, do everyone a favor and drive into a bridge abutment.

what are you trying to do?
collapse a bridge or something?

>245 kilograms
literally impossible to be this fat

...

...

Sadly, it's not. I used to be a paramedic and half my job was lifting fatasses out of bed and taking them to the hospital because they were too fucking fat to go in their own car.

We used to have a tarp we called either the Whale Tarp or Tubby Mover, and you'd just roll them on to it and carry them out like a sack of concrete.

you should pick them up with garbage truck because thats where such """"""""""""people"""""""""" belong

So how did you get to the dealership in the first place? You obviously had no trouble squeezing into that vehicle...

>drive a FIAT
>not a fat fuck
Feels good man

F-650
minus the lfit

Do you even know how many calories you consume on a given day? Or is it just that you now feel hungry all the time because you're missing your soda and cookies?

I'm 618 and I drive a Lincoln Town Car.

What do you do for a living that allows you the luxury of being that fat? Most minrage jobs keep you on your feet.

If you're so fat, why don't you just sit on the front of a forklift and have someone drive you to wherever you need to go

I'd be more worried about finding a coffin big enough

Have you considered that maybe you're too fat?

Jesus, how many tonnes of fast food do you inhale hourly?

Honestly, I'm impressed. It takes real grit and determination to force feed yourself to reach such a colossal weight.

Consider WALKING places instead of riding in a freight hauler.

Maybe you'll lose a few pounds...

What the fuck how do you even let yourself get that fat? I'm 6'0 170lbs and I feel like I'm kinda fat. I can't imagine ever weighing that much. Do you just feel sick all the fucking time?

>and I my fiancee and I and

that's a lot of you

lol. Eurocuck spotted. Walking in Murica is pointless unless you live in NYC or Chiraq

i'm not even trying to be mean here. if you and your fiancee are having a hard time fitting into a silverado you guys need a lifestyle change.

i'm not saying this as a naturally skinny dude, hell i ain't skinny. i'm still overweight, but look and feel a hell of a lot better now. just go on daily walks with your fiance, just 30 minutes a day and cut out the sugar and you'll start dropping the weight.

>538lb
Holy motherfuking hell. Could you post a picture of yourself? Blur out the face if you want. I want to know what 538lb looks like.

Disregard pickup truck and buy a trike.

youtube.com/watch?v=b2GL2bnf_Kw

Ride it every day.

I want to squeeze fatass-chan into my Fiesta ST just for a laugh.

OP why don't you just do vid related
youtu.be/_JPwswJgSk4

H2 hummer.

There. End the thread already.

Just google Boogie2988. That's what 500+ lbs looks like.

...

That's pretty much a beefed up Tahoe, which is the same size as a Silverado 1500. No chance this tubby fuck will fit in it.

>I my fiancee and I

Shit I didn't know scales even read that high.

>baiting this hard

If you bite the bait, you deserve it.

Keksimus maximus. My fucking sides

Fucking savage

>I'm 538 lbs.
>538 lbs.
>five hundred thirty eight pounds
how the fuck do you weigh half the weight of a goddamn polaris?
how does a human consume so much to get this fucking fat?

UPDATE:

I tried fitting in a RAM 1500 today, and that I can't even fit into, nor my fiancee. It's over Veeky Forums, I can't transport myself.

I also tried to fit into a Tundra a while back and even THAT is too small for me. My fiancee could fit in it, just barley.

FCA and Toyota makes small trucks too. Fuck this shit, now I might have to take the bus and mortify myself even more. FUCK!

I dunno, you could buy one of those old lowes flatbeds and a bobcat and have your second in lardmand load you up and take you places.
alternatively hire a driver.

I wish this was real. I wish there was actually a 500 pound man on this board so I could bully him.

Try this

this.

the fattest I've ever been was 275 lbs at 6'3" and I felt like a fucking balloon. he's nearly 2x that size... just what the fuck goes through your head? how do you justify it?

Lincoln Town Car

>220lbs
>feel like a fat slob

Try F150

>inb4 bent

How do you not even read the OP before replying to a thread?

...

>FCA and Toyota makes small trucks too.
That's because your average Italian or Japanese man is 1/4 the size of you.

Certainly not. 600kg has been done.

man, Veeky Forums becomes shittier and shittier every day

...

OP's problem is a real issue for Amerilards. As of 2017, 85% of Amerifats are over 700lbs.

Well, 220 down, 280 more to go!