Is a sports car the ultimate pizza delivery car?

Takumi, that you?

The Deliverator's car has enough potential energy packed into its batteries to fire a pound of bacon into the asteroid Belt. Unlike a bimbo box or a Burb beater, the Deliverator's car unloads that power through gaping, gleaming, polished sphincters. When the Deiverator puts the hammer down, shit happens. You want to talk contact patches? Your car's tires have tiny contact patches, talk to the thee asphalt in four places the size of your tongue. The De liverator's erator's car has big sticky tires with contact patches the size of a fat lady's thighs. The Deliverator is in touch with the road, starts like a bad day, stops on a peseta.

Why is the Deliverator so equipped? Because people rely on him. He is a role model. This is America. People do whatever the fuck they feel like doing, you got a problem with that? Because they have a right to. And because they have guns and no one can fucking stop them. As a result, this country has one of the worst economies in the world. When it gets down to it—talking trade balances here—once we've brain-drained all our technology into other countries, once things have evened out, they're making cars in Bolivia and microwave ovens in Tadzhikistan and selling them here—once our edge in natural resources has been made irrelevant by giant Hong Kong ships and dirigibles that can ship North Dakota all the way to New Zealand for a nickel—once the Invisible Hand has taken all those historical inequities and smeared them out into a broad global layer of what a Pakistani brickmaker would consider to be prosperity—you know what? There's only four things we do better than anyone else:

music
movies
microcode (software),
high-speed pizza delvery

I think in the future, every pizza boy will need a sports car.

myself and three other drivers have subaru outbacks from 97- 99 since we're in an environment with lots of snow, ice and mountain roads in the winter. theyre great, not terribly fuel efficient but it was funny watching the fag who drives a prius have to call in because he slid into a pole on the way to work, and the guy in a cobalt ss didnt even want to try to come in.

...

Ouch

That's not healthy.

Nissan Micra is the delivery drivers car of choice in the UK. It's small, agile, slow enough so your food doesnt get rekt while Rashid takes the touge to your house and they cost £150.

His theory on the upkeep thing is that since sports cars are built more towards performance things shouldn't break nearly as easily as they would on say a sedan when taking corners taking off from stoplights etc

Just get a Twingo and fold the rear seats down, that way you get a sports kar and a van

I delivered pizza in a sports car for about 8 years, here's what I learned:
Everyone loves it which = tip money
Get something with glass ttops and the magnetic sign won't stay on (you won't have to wear one)
Customers ask you to peel out every time
Pizza gets there fast
Mpg is still low 20s because v8s can idle pretty much anywhere, no reason to Rev over 2k
Wear and tear is terrible, especially on the suspension
Fuel is maybe $8 a night
Shitbox pizza fags get jealous
You'll have repeat customers that will ask for you specifically

50cc scooter

you know like 90% of the world does pizza delivery by a company owned scooter.

pizza delivery sucks because you are thrashing your own car.

I get a company vehicle and all I do is drive along the interstates all day in a suburban

If you're not totally inept at working on your own car it's really not bad.

Motorbikes are road fedoras

so now you are working uncompensated time to maintain the vehicle you use for work.

That's wrong though.
Women aren't fit for military service specifically because the vagina is so vulnerable to infection when wading through murky water.
The dick is better, both because of tract length and because when aroused there is significantly less surface area to stick to around the entry point.

If you're narrow minded I suppose. It's more like "Well, I already do all my own maintenance anyway and have dd'd the car for a few years now, driving it a bit more probably won't hurt it much."

>2017 sports car or a 2017 sedan
>specifically for pizza delivery
>assume first 3 years of new car only
>cannot be electric due to charging time

OP specs that only pizza delivery is considered. Thus all other uses of the car are not allowed to be considered. Car maintenance is essentially the same due to 3 year bumper to bumper new car warranty.

Sports car clearly costs more than the sedan but this is not a factor as the question implies each car is free.

Both are able to go 10 miles over city speed limits. So maximum driving speed is NOT an issue. In my city, police give a break to pizza drivers but only up to 5mph, so I say 10mph because I am more daring.

Fuel costs for the sports car are higher than for the econo-sedan.

Both s.car and sedan can carry 2 or at most 3 orders of pizzas for the delivery range. So size of car doesn't change what pizzas can be carried.

Insurance is higher on sports car. That is clearly a minus because delivering pizza is a money flow type job.

Fuel efficiency is higher with a small sedan than with a sports car. This is clearly a minus.

The chance of robbery or being stiffed is higher with a pizza job than with normal driving. But his varies by area and city, so not a factor for OP as he didn't say city or clientele.

The base cost of sports car is higher than an eco-mile sedan of the current year. Even a Kia Soul is going to be a cheaper thing on paper than a sports car for pizza delivery.

Turbo Busa with a pizza case

>Assuming you could get a sports car or a sedan at the same price used specifically for pizza delivery which would you choose?

Huh. You must be in the USA. In Japan, economics and speedy delivery requires a scooter. A car cannot get to all the places. Furthermore, a car MUST be parked somewhere and japan is notorious for parking spot problems in the city.

lol the only thing sports cars are good for delivering is tofu

>Assuming you could get a sports car or a sedan at the same price used specifically for pizza delivery which would you choose?
>same price used
>used

>2017 sports car or 2017 sedan

Stopped reading there

its ultimate if your goal is getting robbed

you could put an oven in this bitch and cook while you drive

Underrated post.

would not recommend

t. drive ambulances

>corner hard
>cheese slides off of pizza
Stupid idea. NEXT!

Notice how I said peehole and not vagina, and besides that I'd wager it's tough to wade through murky water w/ a vagina and ONLY get a UTI.

No.

If you live somewhere with cold winters, the busiest times for delivery drivers are snowy nights when people want to stay in and order food. Have fun driving a sports car in that.

Plus gas is going to eat into your profits. If you drive a sports car and really hoon around the city, you are going to spend 3x as much on gas as a Civic.

CAME HERE TO POST THIS
A
M
E

H
E
R
E

T
O

P
O
S
T

T
H
I
S

That would be the AE86 or LS swapped ricers.

Met a guy that delivered for Pizza Hut full time in a 70s Lincoln Continental a couple of months ago, rarely have I seen so little fucks given.

Fuckin great book

>pizza delivery driver of 4 years here
It's not about going fast on your way to the destination. If you go around corners quickly on the way there, you'll just fuck up the food. Most of your time saved is in knowing locations off the top of your head (so you don't have to waste time setting up nav on your phone), knowing back routes when there's traffic, and going fast on the way back to the shop.

I suspect fuel economy and reliability are more important than performance for pizza delivery

Back in the day when I was workin at the pizza place, we had some Indian or othet brown type kid start working as a driver and he was driving pic related. At that time, it was still farily new, maybe 5-7 years old and his parents gave it to him when they got a newer car. I just shook my head wondering how he expected to make any money driving an AMG SUV.

He lasted about a week

those things are garbage even when they were new. shit to drive and shit interior.
i hated them.

Motorbike/scooter makes more sense for high-speed pizza delivery since you lean into turns (instead of away from them) so the pizzas won't slide around in the box and get reked.

>he cant drive with a cup full of water

there's a place in silicon valley that has automated pizza assembly and bakes the pizzas in their delivery smartcars on the way.

Driving like that will hardly get you to your destination faster.

>believing a weeb cartoon
cornering fast generates lateral G, no amount of weebshit magic changes that.

I actually had to check if I was still on Veeky Forums. Good job.

This guy has a point. People that knock delivery are definitely correct that if you wouldn't otherwise be driving a lot (esp for fun) then it's extra wear and tear. But if you fix your own cheap to maintain shitbox anyways and would otherwise be driving almost as much... Then shit why not

Weren't they essentially Chrysler?

Well fuck, I was just thinking about whether I had a copy of this in Dropbox so I could post it from my phone

Good taste in books user