ITT: Dealership stories

>be 2008
>driving a 2005 vz sv6 commodore
>car is easily worth 10-12k back then
>wanting something a bit smaller and less thirsty
>figure i will try the stealership see what they have
>looking at a 2002 base model Mitsubishi lancer
>has 5k on the window
>figure 3k my way and a small car would be a good deal
>talk to the stealer
>he has a look at commodore
>120,000km
>clean
>no dents or scratches
>never smoked in
>talks with his money man
>comes back and says "can do the swap with $2000 involved
>thinking he means my way
>he wants $2000 and my $10k car for a 5k lancer

Holy wtf i knew stealerships had the name for a reason but god damn.
that was like the last time i had dealings with one.

Did you laugh in his face?

Yes.
Im pretty sure it was one of those laughs where bits of spit fly out of your mouth too.

If you were approved by your bank, didn't you have some kind of finance agreement to show the dealership?

I've only bought 1 car from a dealership and the experience was honestly good. I negotiated hard because I live in a reasonably large city and had multiple dealerships I could shop around, as well as perfect credit (~800)

>looking online for a car I want
>see a car
>oh wow not many miles and the price seems fair
>call dealership
>do you still have the car?
>yea we do
>great can I make an appointment today to come see it?
>sure!
>great see you in an hour
>an hour later...
>ok I'm here to see the car
>oh our detailers are still looking at it, would you like to see another car?
>no I wanted to see that one.
>are you sure? we have good deals on these new...
>No, I just wanted to see the car I intended on seeing, where is it?
>I mean come on man 2.9% apr on new ones
>I'm leaving
turns out the car didn't even exist and the VIN was fake. They just inflate their used car lot with nice things so you come in and get swept up in another car

yeah but on the bright side people who are stupid enough to do something like that deserve it

walmart doesn't lie about the items they sell to get you in the door, why should a car dealership?

Does anybody have the link to the collection of dealership stories from longpostguy?

I have a 80 something page pdf of them. Forgot where I got it though.
Would post it if I had the means to

pretty please? :)

webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:R7_vuV3PTkwJ:82.199.155.15/pdf/Tales%20From%20The%20Dealership.pdf &cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk

Original link comes up 404

I drive an 8 year old VW and it's been rock solid since I bought it.

over 100k miles now.

>100k miles
come back when thats 200k m8

>go to Subaru
>"Hey I wanna test a wrx, I drove the gti and fost, this is the last comparison before making a decision"
>No can do, people who want this car, know what they're getting
>360 and leave

Since when is a 26k car untestable?

Since the average WRX buyer is in their early 20s and needs 2 loans

thats fucking dum

ill just buy the superior ford then since they already let my 26 year old ass thrash one.

Seriously though how in the hell do they expect someone to buy one if they cant even drive it first

they don't want kiddies to test drive them

make them an offer and get into the grit, you'll get a test drive but don't sign any paperwork

>go to dealership
>salesman comes up
>tell them I want a new car
>tries to convince me to buy a used one instead to save money
>walked out

My 2000 vr6 has 200k.
My dads 1998 golf has 300k
And i have a friend with a 2012 tsi with 4000k....
The vw reliability meme is over.

>last week
>on cargurus mass messaging dealers with cars in interested in
>get a reply back from a major dealership selling a G35
>"hey user it's salesman from dealer. You still interested in the Infiniti?"
>already looking at another G35 at another dealer later that day
>"sorry I'm busy I'll be there tomorrow"

Tomorrow:
>"won't be able to make it. I don't have a ride"
>"do you need a ride? I can pick you up."
>stop responding

Shit creeped me out. I wonder what he would have done if I wasn't interested in the car... especially since the other G35 made me lose interest in them.

If it was indeed a "major dealership" then it is absolutely the norm for the to have a small fleet of shuttle vehicles, typically for people who get their car serviced.

>stereo broke at 53,000km
>no issue at all
>these two statements exist simulaneously in the mind of a Volkswagen buyer

>thinking your old shitbox commonwhore is worth that much

The market is flooded with them. You're just delusional.

>triggered vag hater

why bother?

>getting butthurt because the dealership is smart enough not to let you thrash their car around and then not buy it

Warranties exist to cover manufacturer defects. Having a stereo malfunction and be repaired for free is not really a note-worthy mark against a cars reliability.

They didn't expect you to buy it retard.

Delete your trip and kill yourself immediately.

>car breaks
>it's under warranty so it's not really broken

Wow I didn't realise my bait would be this successful

You must not really understand what a manufacturer defect is

jokes on them

i totally was going to m8

Weird never had that happen. I've seen them get sold the day i went to go look at them though,thankfully they let me know beforehand.

>young but making a truckload of money
>perfect credit score
>idiots at high end dealerships don't take me seriously because I'm on the young side with long hair
>walked out of 4 dealerships before finding one with decent human beings and walked out with a brand new Ferrari halfway paid off
I Will literally never understand how a fucking car salesman could ever judge someone else

Weird, normally they'd rather sell new cars.

This^ the salesman was just trying to be nice and get you a ride if you wanted to look at it. You were being socially awkward and couldn't just say "Sorry I'm no longer interested in the car". You made it seem like you would look at it if you could've made it to the dealership.

What was wrong with the other G35?

fuckin same. walked into 3 seperate dealerships trying to buy a 2 ton cab and chassis to build a tow truck before someone took us seriously. in work clothes. for a "commercial" truck.

Just didn't like the feel and look of it. The clutch in that example also felt weird.

The G37 probably ruined my experience too. The G35 just looks so dated in person compared to it.

Nah. His personal vehicle/transportation.

The literal working of the text was "do you need me to pick you up before I go to work".

Why do you guys go to dealerships to buy used cars? Just use Kijiji or American Kijiji.

In my family, the older members all buy from dealerships, but always new cars. Those of us who can't, use Kijiji. It makes no sense to buy from a dealership.

Don't even get me started on used car lots.

They're right though.

Their banks are very unlikely to finance such a vehicle unless you're an 800+.

When you say you "secured financing" did you have a check in hand or did your bank rep just say "yeah, we could probably do that"

I wouldn't be inclined to take you seriously unless you actually have the check in hand - especially since most customers don't know what they're talking about when they say they're pre-approved or have secured financing.

New cars rarely make a commission. I think he figured you were not going to be able to get financing, so his best bet was to turn you to a vehicle you'd be able to finance

Been reading it on and off all day. Never read the but theyre good. Thank you

I had a similar experience when I wanted to buy a Challenger Hellcat last year. I'm only 33 so when I wanted to test drive one the salesman gave the usual speech about them not letting people test drive it. Once he ran a credit check, his attitude completely changed. It's kind of shitty, but that how the dealership business works.

Deals usually don't invent a car, but they will have one that's "bolted down." Like in the fine print it's only available between 4:58 and 5pm on a Monday, and you have to pay full price in $2 bills while doing the Lucky Star dance in the showroom. They're counting on no one ever actually buying it and just generating interest in other cars.

>go to dealer
>ask dealer for stick shift two seater under $15k
>find CR-Z with 23k miles plus warranty at $13k
>find out it has sat on this lot for 8 months
>test drive it
>very nice
>sit down to negotiate price
>figure the price is flexible so I say $12k
>sales guy writes up $12.6k plus fees
>don't take deal and walk out
>return five minutes later
>he re-writes it for $12.6k with fees included
>drive it off the lot ten minutes later

I ended up selling it for 10.5k but alright then.

Depends on the dealer. Lots of teenage and college faggots walk in wanting to test drive a WRX because it's one of the last of the old JDM tuner names that's still around without any capability to pay and questionable skills with a stick shift. One dealership actually wanted to pull a motherfucking credit report on me first.

You drive like a fucking nana

How is the CR-Z anyway? I've heard its a mixed bag.

>One dealership actually wanted to pull a motherfucking credit report on me first
This is pretty common on sportcars if you're under 40.

dealers are never going to give you money for a trade.

heck they won't even give you a straight trade on a more valuable vehicle, especially if, as user said, the market is flooded with said vehicle.

dealerships want things they can sell quickly. the market for commodores has been shrinking for ages whilst the number of them for sale hasn't

>contact Ford dealership for info on Focus RS before it was available
>6 months later get an email that they have one in
>go to dealership to look at it
>salesman asks me if I want to test drive it
>20 years old with virtually no credit and 3 months experience of driving stick
Probably helped that I'm military but I was not expecting to be able to drive it and it was pretty cool. They wanted 40k for it though so I got a FiST

>go to Hyundai dealer wanting to look at an Elantra and Sonata they had for sale
>got other cars pulled from the site to show interest in if they don't have them
>Chad salesperson wearing party rubber wristbands and a visible tank top from his Marshall's dress shirt telling me he sold one of the cars weeks ago
>other cars not on the lot anymore
Red flag #1, nearly everything I wanted was gone despite still being on the site
>find the one Sonata, driver side mirror housing cracked and already loose
>fine scratches fucking everywhere on the paintjob
>take it for a tiny test drive, Chad tried persuading me into getting the car at some high APR
>keep telling him I'm not interested
>Chad gets smart and asks dumb shit "what did u think u were gonna accomplish coming here?"
>calls over the sales manager, tells me I can test drive it on my own all day to get a feel for it
Red flag #2: Desparate to sell me a 7 year old used car
>drive it over to my mechanic buddy, notice some wiggling/play in the steering. Not the wheel itself, but the shaft itself
>pulls up two ABS codes, one from resetting the computer and one for the power steering coupling
Red flag #3: Known issue with the char's mechanics and a cleared code to show off a facade
>take it back to the dealer, tell the chad that the car has issues, bring up the whole engine recall and show them the inspection paper i got
>keep telling chad this doesn't go well with me, I don't trust it
>chat gets frustrated and abandons the sale, calling over his "used car specialist" from the garage
>dude tells me he wouldn't buy a car with issues either
>writes a note for the "power steering cuffling" as something to fix for the car
>tells me he has no idea about the recall on sonata engines for metal shavings in the engine
Left after he walked away so they wasted hours trying to sell me a piece of shit.

>Wish the guy was more charismatic but that's okay.
Why though?
I'd rather have my salesman being a "stragiht to business" type instead of talking my ear off.

I was thinking the same. Why should the dealership take your word for it? Show them some papers, man.

>buying a used car from a dealer
>getting a loan to buy a used car

Wtf is wrong with you cunt? Just buy an old corolla till you save up enough to buy whatever shitty faggot VW you've got your faggot heart set on with CASH.

>borrowing money for anything other than investment

>be haggling for a used BMW
>get the price down to something reasonable after a couple hours
>salesman Jack Price jacks price back up to list right at the last second
>walk out

my gf's Jetta has 135k miles and every 10k or so a sensor or two goes out that I've got to replace. Replacing any fluid is extremely annoying and in my experience the fluids VW requires are worse than the non oem options I can use on my cars not designed to break. The interior rattles worse than any Japanese car I've ever driven.

Apparently there was a class action suit against Volkswagen throughout the 90's over some of the sensors "randomly" failing and they offer you money back if your vehicle speed sensor dies. We went through several before I bought the down market Chinese clone of the sensor and it hasn't failed yet. Now when a German sensor dies, I change it out for a Chinese sensor and so far no Chinese sensor has failed.

Electrical Gremlins are crazy bad, but luckily they go as they come. My mother bought a relatively new Jetta off the show room floor, and in 50k miles the AC compressor ate itself from the inside out, the proprietary stereo fried, it ate break pads all day, understeered like a pig, turbo lag was so bad it would trick the transmission and make it do wierd shifts in the middle of turns.

I purchased my sister a thirty year old Camry for $650 from some hood dude knowing she wouldn't ever maintain it and after two years of thrashing and abuse and the only thing that's come of it is her battery died once.

Really activates my almonds

So tell me, Veeky Forums, did LPG ever that thread he once said he'll do for Christmas about untold stories.
I was halpmonitoring and seen none, but may be someone saved it, or longpostguy didnt deliver.

Just get a W8 Passat, things are fucken cheap as chips, almost throwaway

nice, fucking pos Chad

I don't know how you could go from an SV6 to lancer. I drove a manual lancer once, and it was the slowest thing I have ever driven. My gf's focus felt like a race car in comparison.

>april 2017, 24 years old with no credit score
>but have a 2014 jetta wagon TDI that's paid off and vw is going to pay me $30k for it
>want to buy 1le camaro, it would be a custom order because most dealers don't bother stocking them and when they do it's in a ricey color
>go to dealership #1, try to explain the situation
>first sales guy i talk to doesnt know what the 1le package is, they basically think I'm joking and bring the ordering manager out to tell me to get lost
>go to dealership #2 And they actually treat me like a human, salesman pulls the 1 1le they had out of the showroom for me to test drive
>leave a $1k deposit and 86 days later take delivery of mine
>try my best to work a deal but good luck trying to get a dealer discount on a desirable, custom ordered car, end up paying msrp ($44,400)
>but i got 0% financing as part of some 4th of July sale if my mom cosigned
I feel pretty good about the whole thing desu

Stereo broke.
"""""""""electrical issue""""""""""

Is this where this faggoty meme comes from? Were you the faggot posting in the Veslowster thread with that as your only defense on why your car is shit?

Memes I have a 2010 golf that's been awesome, 150k miles and I keep up with scheduled shit. Only thing that died was the headliner

why is a dealership telling you you cant get approved for a bank loan?

I personally love it because it's a daily that sounds great and sips gas. There are quite a few things to note about it too.

It gets great em pee gees if you listen to the shift promp as peak torque is at 1000 revs. I've been averaging 41-43 per tank on my last three fill ups.

The chassis is very stiff. So much so that the rear view mirror almost shakes itself out of its mount after a few bumpy roads.

It doesn't like long road trips because the battery will use all of its energy pulling a long hill, and the IMA system fights itself constantly.

Some have said that one Zed can feel playful and another can feel sluggish, but this is because of the difference in power between the 2012 and 2013 models which they do not notice or bring up. If you want one, get a 2013 or newer model because the battery pack is better (lithium-ion vs. nickle).

I had heard that Handza actually made a supercharger kit for this that you can purchase at the dealer and even have it installed. Takes the car from slow to quick and doesn't affect gas mileage much. If you plan to keep the car for a while, it might warrant the upgrade and make it pretty fun!

I'm in the feels because Toyota basically made a TRD supercharger for all their cars back in the early 2000s but because no one bought them they discountinued it.
Like fuck, I would have gotten a TC with a stick and a TRD supercharger and exhaust as a daily. That would have been fun as fuck along with being reliable. TRD needs to brings back their superchargers and make it into a TRD trim level for each car I stead of just options. Imagine being able to buy a Toyota Yaris with stickier tires, a supercharger, an exhaust, a short shifter, and lowering springs installed from factory. And it would be oh so easy for them to do.

Back tracking now huh, you fucking bus rider. I bet you suck dick for fare and then walk

This, I hate salesmen because they seem to think your time is free

My dad drives the 'most unreliable ever' b5.5 2.8V6 30v'.
400k km.
>CEL: needs to replace catalytic converters soon.
>already had to flush the maintenance-free automatic 5spd with 4motion.
Then again, what do you expect after driving ten times around the globe.

The B5.5 fixed a lot of the early B5 issues, and the 2.8 30V has always been a solid engine.
I'm assuming it's a Euro-market car, so it was probably assembled in Germany, which really helps in terms of quality control.

I can confirm it exists and can be installed at the dealer at a whopping $7'200, but this is not the only performance par they sell.

They also have:
Special 18" alloy wheels
Helical LSD
Sports suspension
Exhaust kit + rear diffuser
And a big brake kit

I learned that the factory warranty still carries over if you have the parts installed at the dealer, but the supercharger is the only part I'd have installed there. However, you have to fill out a sheet with your name, the car's VIN and your home address before HPD will reflash your ECU if you get the supercharger.

That's a little strange, but still dope as fuck. Props to Honda for at least offering it. Is that the quote you got?

>looking for a car to drift and mod. thinking trans am would be a cool one
>find 02 trans am selling online for $3999 with only 47k miles
>from the pictures online its in amazng shape, and just to be sure i call and ask how long they've had it and how good does it look in person
>"its in amazing condition user come on down we'll have it all shined up for ya"
>i drive over 50+ miles to get to the dealership
>once i get there i see the car waiting in front of the dealership for me
>walk up to it and get immediately disappointed
where do i start.. the paint was scratched and peeling, the seats were torn, plastic dash board was cracked and rising, sun mirrors were torn out, the antenna was broke off.
>the sales man come out with a smile and ask if id like to test drive it
>even though im livid i agree to it
>it drives like a v8 should and feels fine
>after about 30 min of driving it around i pull over and pop open the hood
>its leaking oil all over the engine dont even know it it was doing it, checked the dipstick an the oil looks like it's a mix of old dirty oil with fresh oil
>drive knowing im not gonna buy the car but want to see how low i can get it
even after i pointed out all the problems it has, how i was lied to, and the distance i drove from i could only get them to drop 500. wasted 6 hours of my life with this bullshit

>end up paying msrp ($44,400)
>my mom cosigned
Thank you for your service.

Yup. The parts guy accidentally printed the 53 page instructions on how to install it too, although I don't trust myself to DIY a supercharger. It runs on its own traction oil system and doesn't use engine oil or coolant at all. The plan is to get it once the car is paid off in about a year at the earliest, then add everything else in time.

We're still missing the really juicy ones he promised to post when he was done working there.

Still gets owned by bolt on tuned 10year old civic si. Have fun

>e36 has a failure, no spark in one of the cylinders (suspected injectors at first, but they are OK, turned out the ECU doesn't send pixies to the spark plug)
>Disconnect the fuel injector for that cylinder, to prevent unburned fuel from washing oil out of the cylinder walls and mixing with the oil
>After 2 indie shops in the city check it out, they both confirm it's likely electronics failure, but they don't have a way to hack into the black magic pixie box, so can't help any more
>Say fuck it and take a 110 mile trip to nearest BMW stealership for in-depth diagnosis, possible replacement/fix
>After half a day of fucking around dismantling it for whatever reason, they only come up with "yes, there's a fault in the ECU, needs replaced, cost=20% the price of the car. Should take about 3 months to arrive :3"
>"Oh, also needs ERRYTHING steering/front end/suspension replaced ^_^"
>Total of quoted repairs=60-70% price of the car
>They're charging over 400% for a steering rack, and anywhere between 80 to 300% for tie rods, bushings, and other random bits
>Retards KNEW what the fault was, yet they reconnected the injector to the faulty cylinder
>They left some (coarse thread!) screws so damn tight that they cried their life out when I undid them to send the ECU to get repaired by an Elder God-tier guy that solved it in 3 days, shipping included, despite having several Ferraris, one Porsche, a couple (old) AMG Mercedes, and a shit-ton of Land Rovers and Mini Coopers waiting to get fix'd too

The retards at the dealership dismantled the whole fucking engine harness, when all they needed to do was take their proprietary electronic probe out of their ass and plug it into the car, FFS

Yeah but it isn't for the same thing. It's substantially more comfortable, a real hybrid, gets great gas mileage, has a warranty, normies see you as having a nicer car.

That seems like a good idea user. Enjoy it! Don't let the haters bring you down. If you like your car that's all that matters.
My AW11 is slow as balls and the shocks are completely shot. But I love it to death and it makes me happy to drive. That's all that matters.

He, at most, lost $3,000 from what the dealer's son could have paid and $2,000 from any regular goy.

Not a bad deal, Honestly.

>He
>lost
No, his poor mother lost that money, and she is on a fixed income.

The mom cosigned. Unless the kid is a piece of shit and didn't pay the bill it wouldn't take any cash from her.

It being a 1LE of course it's an order only. You'll basically pay MSRP at any dealership unless you're friends with the dealer or an important customer.

It's literally not worth their time otherwise.

People love to hate car dealers and salesmen. There are a lot of bad ones out there.

Most of the time you goyim get upset over the wrong stuff.

>it wouldn't take any cash from her.
But when he stops paying and they repo the trashed out hulk, she is going to be on the hook for the whole balance.

>And i have a friend with a 2012 tsi with 4000k...
>4000k miles between 2012 and 2017
>4000000 miles in ~6 years
>666666,6667 miles per year
>12820,5 miles per week
>1831,5 miles per day every day of the week
>76,3 miles per hour for 24 hours straight
Thats fucking demonic
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She entered into the contract knowing that.

If she didnt believe that he would default, then she's a bad of a judge of character (her own son that she raised). This is her fault. If this is the case you can assume that her life is wrecked anyway. (People that recklessly co-sign don't maintain good credit for long)

If she knew he would default and still cosigned she's still at fault and deserved it.

Few years ago
>buddy trading in his 09 mitsu eclipse and looking at Ralliarts
>go with him to Brampton to small dealer to look at 2013
>I'm there as a 2nd set of eyes as I'm an apprentice mechanic
>2 white guys in their early 20's looking at a $30 000 car apparently looks suspicious
>worker comes out and asks if we need help, but didn't look excited about a possible sale
>buddy tells him about his old car and his interest in financing the ralliart
>guy perks up, walks us inside and gets us coffee, and a day later had his 1st sale

The worker was the dealer's website builder and got sent outside by the sales team to make sure we were not stealing it. Last I heard he was still full time as one if their salesmen and doing better than he ever has.

Moral of the story: don't judge a book by its cover

Why is there so much crap on the intake housing?

negro. its broke. if it was the transmission it would be the same fucking thing. its broke.