Boss car

Hello Veeky Forums,

My criminal friend needs some advice. He finna move up in the game. Just like in the rap world, the only thing that matters is your whip, especially if you wanna network with the big fish, or convince thots to sell they pussy. Now, my friend has some very specific requirements:
>$80,0000 budget
>must be white or other pimp color
>must have wood interior, nice ventilated leather, heated seats, massage, automatic high-beam
>engine must be petrol turbo or diesel, nothing naturally aspirated
>the car must be the latest model, but still a year or two old so he can purchase it second-hand, he won't buy it new, he's a criminal

His problem apparently is that the only car that fits the description is the Cayenne, and he hates it because it's just an overpriced Touareg. So if you were a big time baller Veeky Forums, what car would you purchase that fits these requirements?

P.S. My suggestion to him was a V8 Vantage, but he says it's not pimp enough cause now they got the DB9 or whatever it is, and also maintenence costs.

2018 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500

Not a bad suggestion, but it ain't got AHB, and it's more of a sports car than a cruiser. My friend needs to travel thousands of miles in short periods to make deals and move weight. So it has to have realllly comfy seats and automatic high-beam, cruise control and preferably automatic transmission too.

A civic for 80 in taffeta white

3k civic with some mods
Easy to blend in as well

Did you read the title? It says boss car. Infiniti or Lexus maybe, but no Hondas. The car needs to have two functions only: flash and comfort. You nailed the comfort, but omitted the bling. The car needs to be drippin with sauce.

Why stick out? Blend in. Like Gus.

An Audi S8 like the transporter 3

If he's asking an Veeky Forumsfag for 'gangster' car advice he must be truly lost in the car game.
Sounds like he wants a GTR.
But if you want to truly help him... Talk him into a Pheaton W12. (Or Passat but that'll be a challenge).
It's fast, luxurious and, contrary to what he thinks he needs, inconspicuous.
Police aren't crazy. When they see an uneducated swagger-guy in a way to expensive car they know his income isn't legit. They'll do anything to justify a search and low-and-behold, they'll find shit.
Drive a less noticeable car and you'll be able to do business more efficiently as you're not stopped as often.
His gangster friends soon enough notice how it's a very capable vehicle with the added benefit of not being stopped every two seconds.
It also helps with the argument "there should be something for me in it, gotta pay my bills too".

A used bmw X5M or X6M or a mercedes GLS63 AMG

If you want something smaller, get a 3k civic or a twingo

quality speaks for itself.
Even know-nothing-dope-criminals soon enough find out there's such a thing as 'too much bling' when they're 'randomly' stopped every 10 miles because every monkey with a badge can see they're not supposed to be driving said vehicle.

I bought a V10 M5 when I was worried about that autist shit.

No one cares what the plug drives as long as he CAN drive something nice if he wants.

Biggest baller I've ever met in person drives a white ford Ranger. Legit has 43 million dollars buried in the desert lol.

RANGE ROVER
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I understand your concerns. However, maybe i should have mentioned we are in Eastern Europe. Rules are different here: cops are dirty, you can't do crime without paying them off. So blending in is not a concern. On the other hand, no one will listen to you pitch a million dollar operation if you drive a damn Volkswagen or Honda. Please keep in mind he knows what he's talking about and just forget he's a gangster, just consider the specifics requested regarding the car.

GLS actually would work... We considered the G-class, but not this, strangely. We were very drunk and kind of tweaking when we were brainstorming, so maybe that's why. In any case thanks a lot, great pick!

He should stop being autistic about age and get a G-Wagen he can afford then.

I used Corvettes for the same thing but I'm not a soft ass lame that needs to drive a couch. ;)

Tell ur boy to get a lifted G-five-hundert benz

Oh, he'll LOVE this! As mentioned here he considered a G class, but now it won't be pimp enough cause all the gangsters have the G squared.... Ok yes you guys are right, my friend is autistic, just bear with me. Anyway, thanks, great pick!

Can't help you. Dunno what's considered status cars over there. Here it would be a 7-series or an E-class. Or an Escalade but only if you're a nigger. If you're a white boy driving an Escalade other white people will laugh at you out of earshot and black people will beat and rob you.

>Eastern Europe
whatever car his nigger mates steal from developed countries i guess in that case.

It's waaaaay worse than in the US. An E-Class is so basic, it's barely acceptable as a gift for your side-hoe. A really flashy car here is a Wraith or a Rolls. You see Ferraris every day at stop lights. Again, hoping this gives some context to this thread. inb4 Eastern Euros are white trash, we know and we like it that way.

A Cadillac like every other pimp nigger out there

Acura Legend

Ludacris still drives his

Nigga, you think you developed in the West? Kek, enjoy your future mixed race nation, crippling bureaucracy, big welfare state and high living costs. We gone keep ballin. Also, all your women are whores. At least here we divide them clearly into virgin wife material and thots.

My dad had one of those. It was, indeed, the most pimp car i witnessed as a child, and what motivated me to never be poor. I lost it when i saw the small headlight-wipers.

the average eastern european woman will be on her knees for cash quicker than you can babble in that moon speak you call a language. Also that welfare state is the only thing keeping half your countrymen from starving to death, its a burden yes but our toilets dont clean themselves so sacrifices have to be made.

Bitch i couldn't care less about those bums cleaning toilets or the gypsos stealing yo shit or the whores we pimp out to you suckers, or roasties for that matter cause they always jump on that foreigner-dick for free instead of at least getting cold hard cash. In the west all women suck cock for free. Any of my co-nationals that left the country for anything else than crime is officially a westernized cuck, and i ain't no brother of theirs. And those roastie rejects you get to fuck are trash to us, meanwhile we all have virgin women. And yeah, your stupid welfare goes mostly to us, and then those idiots use the money to buy a C-class here, and are still living better than you wagies. At least with a wage here you can afford a house, how's that second mortgage working for ya?

>how's that second mortgage working for ya?
second what? i can afford a house because im not a retard with money, and it's not a post-soviet gulag tier housing bloc either
>c-class
congrats your ballers can't afford an S-class, meanwhile we have teenagers rolling around in 911s because despite taxes and welfare etc we're still rich
>roasties
lol stay mad virgin

>your ballers

Dumb fuck i meant people on welfare have C-class here, ain't nobody 'ballin' with an executive sedan you idiot. Look, our ballers might not have anything on Dubai, but we ball harder than you, faggot. Also, enjoy that roast beef pussy.

If Civics are not an option just buy a fucking Accord for 4k.

>Infiniti or Lexus maybe, but no Hondas.
>Nissan or Toyota maybe, but no Hondas.
new """"money"""" poorfags need to leave this board.

Yea it's all about the badge. I can't explain the culture to y'all, but nobody who's anybody does business with you if you ain't got a flashy whip.

Perfect, but hard to find, and nowhere to fix them.

Why not a Lexuc LS, I think they have massage chairs maybe

It's perfect, but the new one just came out. Again, it's a retarded culture, but it has to be the latest generation, and also it's over his 80k budget. But i wanna buy one of those, just waiting to see if the S-klass will be better.

>it's over his budget.
He doesn't sound like a serious player.

I just said he finna move up. He's what you guys would call a BG. Dude's 19, how much cash you had at his age?

Why are you trying to sound like a porch monkey?

English is not my native language. Ebonics seemed like the appropriate vernacular for this thread.

>white trash
Ah, then you're wanting a Dodge Demon. For the discriminating white trash with more money than brains.

If your friend is such a "baller" why is he moving his own weight. Also best fucking car to do this in is a minivan with a fake family that's pretending to go on vacation. Come on op make this belavable try being incognito

Buy this niggermobile aka Glorified Ford Expedition.

Escalade. Can't beat the classics.

>soft ass
>delusional, mentally disturbed male who crossdresses due to being raped in jail, born from a mother with schizophrenia
pick 1

It looks the part, and i'm sure it's comfy, but unfortunately hard to find and hard to maintain. Repair costs would be through the roof, not to mention who the fuck would repair this in Yurop?

I pick the 2nd? Your point poorfag?

He ain't... Also, this is not the US... You know there's no border patrol within the European Union right? You can move weight from Amsterdam to Budapest or Prague and never be stopped once. And he ain't about the dope game no more, quit while he was ahead, that's why he's got some cash now. He wants a house and a whip and this is his budget. The whip is solely for impressing potential business partners. Said "plugs" are the lowest IQ, most tasteless and nouveau-riche bastards on the face of the Earth. So you need a flashy badge, the latest model, in pearl-white or candy apple red, and also my friend wants it to be comfy. He'll prolly get a Mustang or the Cayenne, but if this thread doesn't get pruned, i still await suggestions. Also, i'm not involved in any organized crime, this dude is just my friend, i'd lend him money to buy something nicer but i'm glad he's doing it his own way. But don't take me as an expert on crime, not at all, i just know the environment this guy's in because he introduced me to a lot of shady people.

Are you a basketball American or do you think it sounds cool to type like that?

Not American, but i do enjoy my basketball.

Tell your stupid wigger mate to get a Panamera. It ticks all the boxes the Cayenne does with the added bonus of not being an overpriced Touareg.

And yes, it comes in white. And stop talking like a pavement ape.

80k budget. I said i'd loan him the extra 15-20k but he doesn't want it. He did find some affordable ones but they all have plastic or aluminium finish instead of wood, and lack some of the more desirable trim packages.

q7 audi truck i sip the lean I crashed the audi fuck

Stop making this fagtot ass thread you shit

What kind of bootleg gangsters are you guys? You wouldnt make money if you had to bribe euro cops for every move. It isnt south east asia dingus, thats why your friend has a measily 80 grand to buy a "cool" car.

>big boy badman gangsta "movin weight"
>cant afford a panamera

tell him to get a job because it apparently pays better than drug dealing

range rover sport

I'd look at the xc90, shit's comfy, in his price range, and pretty pimp imho. You could probably grab one with the t8 and lots of options for less than 80k. Comes in both red and white.

That's what i told him. He won't listen. These kids man, all they care about is fashion.

>XC90

That car will spend a lot in shop.

Mercedes ML obviously, it has "shady as fuck" written all over it

Just noticed the version I was thinking of is the GLS

Not powerful enough for the diesel models, and the petrol ones are hard to find and overpriced. But yeah, it might be better than the Cayenne, but in any case he wouldn't be happy with either. He says all new mercs look like a fucking C-class, even the S.

How come he is fine with glorified Ford Expedition, niggermobile while he is not ok with Mercs look like its siblings?

I smell shitty bait.

Sounds like your friend doesn't give a shit about anyone's opinions anyways, why is he even asking? He wants a niggermobile that'll grab a lot of attention but doesn't want to pay for a premium one and "muh repair costs" for one. Just go with a simple comfy family car, nobody wants to do business with a broke nigga but I sure as hell wouldn't do business with one that'll drag the cops into it sooner or later either.