New Pizza Delivery Telemetry

We're about to get new car toppers that will track our speed and location, as well as measure our acceleration, braking, and cornering.

If we dare go any faster than the posted speed limit or accelerate, brake, or corner too fast, we'll get take points taken off out of 100 points we get per delivery. Going 20 mph over the speed limit will mean instant termination.

It's a great idea to ensure that the customers' pizza is still in good shape, but it might backfire if too many employees ignore this new system and lose thier jobs within the first couple months of this.

Also, I bet you guys recognize this picture.

okay

>accelerated speed
Was this written by a retard or 12 years old?

Sounds like big brother at it's finest

I hope they fire all your asses.

>accelerometers track cornering
>pizza delivery guys all train to corner as fast as possible without the accelerometer detecting it

Where do you see that?

If my pizza isn't here within 20 minutes of me calling, then you're getting a cap in your ass when you do show up anyway.

>what is a racing line
I've been doing it for years.

>Penalize drivers for delivering pizzas late
>Make it harder for drivers to get pizzas delivered on time

Papa (((Johns)))

this literally only affects moreskids

Do you guys have a microwave there?

I work at Papa Johns and I never put a topper on.

I didn't drive recklessly when I delivered pizza. Is this because of the dominos 30 minutes or it's free meme? They stopped doing that in the 80s ffs.

>I never put a topper on.
Those days are long gone.

No.

It will now be required when you clock in.

I think it's because people would call to complain about drivers speeding through neighborhoods.

No it won't the store I work at is in a shithole where 4 of our toppers were stolen in the past 2 months.

You're about to get new ones.

good, most delivery driver drive like shit on the roads when I see them.

Why would you beat up your car when it's making you money?

No we won't mate, I guarantee you.

Only shitty drivers who lack skill wreck their car.

What's your store number?

It's good for driver training. I install similar systems on busses, taxis and rental cars. There is nothing wrong with these systems I don't know why you idiots have a problem with it

2956 or 2596 I think, I can't remember

wew thank God I am not the delivery guy so I can keep driving like a retard

Believe me I would know about it if we were getting them.

Arkansas?

Glad I fucking quit moths ago, sandal foot in Florida was the first location to get them and I knew they were coming, a few drives fired first week lol. That job fucking sucks anyways

Wasn't there an Veeky Forumstist working delivery who hooned so hard like a mad cunt in a Miata that someone wrote a letter to his employer about this driver who thought he was in a race car?

SoCal

>N-Nani!?!? Paperu cupu desu ka!?!?!?!
>N-Nani!?!? Gee-forusuru teremeturary logeru!?!?!?!
21st century initial storyline.

>papa johns tanks because of cold piazza and quitting drivers
Great plan

Holy shit, you guys close an hour earlier than us in the East Coast.

Then the driving rate is absolute dog shit on top of that and the mileage rage is the biggest scam imaginable. I worked for a place where we got above minimum wage thought the shift and got to keep the delivery fee and the tip. Once I made the mistake of going with papa johns im sitting there thinking "wtf is thisnshit and how on earth do people even sign up to do this let alone do this for years at a time. /blog post

Ya we close at 11 for deliveries sun-thurs and at 12 fri sat. But like I said the town is a shithole, coworker has been robbed at gun point and half the areas here are scary as fuck after night.

Nice to know there are fellow pizza drivers here

The mileage pay rate is about to go from $1.50 to $3.50 here.

Papa J's is doing that? Fuck that. Especially since you drive your own cars.

Also feed yer Pepsi delivery guys. It's basically the same job but heavier lifting, no tips, and we can't smoke weed while working.

My store gives away free pizza to our Pepsi drivers.

Still make $5.50 an hour while on a run

Same here.

My daily earnings are about to go from $60 to $100.

no its not the same job. youre not going to residences or dealing with any customers.

Good luck mate, I finally got fed up with that job after working for countless shitty AM's and the worlds largest man child of a GM. They even stole money from drivers to add insult to injury. Fucker is lucky I didn't vandalize his brand new WRX on my way out. That job is simply not worth it on your car for the money

I'd hate to be in your shoes.

My first GM in my first 6 months working has a shitload of ambition and discipline despite being a few months younger than me (28) - he ended up getting promoted to a specialist of some sort and works with all of the GMs in the Southeast Coast. He seemed to have worked with me the hardest since he could see my potential and wanted me to become manager; I scratched his car one night, when we went out drinking and bowling with other coworkers.

My second and third GM weren't ambitious; they're great managers, making sure everybody was doing everything right, but you could tell they were tired of doing it and they ended up quitting last year because they had enough with the DO bitching about everything even though they were able to keep everything running smoothly.

The fourth GM only lasted a month before getting offered a job at Taco Bell with better pay.

My fifth and current GM looks like he's about to die despite being a couple years younger than me - he's having to put up with the new employees (I am now the only employee who has worked there for over 2 years) not doing their job right and sales are declining as a result; so far I'm having to put up with his suffering; I keep reminding him to set me up for management training so I could help him and the shift leads.

Yeah lots of them do. And my regular stores, even if they don't offer I could still ask and they would hook it up.

Ehh, I have to deal with customers. Only difference is I can kinda talk back to them when they start trying to push me beyond my job requirement. I don't have to bend over for them which is nice. But I get along with 99% of em real well because I'm not a lazy fuck.

And I have been to residences, but normally that's for athletes who are sponsored. Anthony Rizzo gets stuff delivered to his place sometimes and I've been to Jarvis Landry's apt a bunch (Dolphins WR).

>3.5hrs til my alarm clock goes off

Yeah I did management training, I thought I'd like to be a manger at some point to help turn the store around but the you realize you make $10/hr and get worked 3 times harder and get shit on by literally everyone. Driver has a problem, you hear about it first. RM give your GM shit? That becomes your problem too. The company just doesn't pay enough, bottom line.

> mfw Initial johns

What are they trying to do, usher in the age of self-driving delivery vehicles? All this is going to do is fire every driver they have and all future ones will either be fired or quit because they won't make any money.
Schnatter needs to lay off the booze because this is a horrible business decision

>make everyone quit or get fired
>pizza always late and cold
>???
>profit

What were they thinking?

I think I should apply for a delivery job just to see how many Gs I can pull in my track miata with slicks.

Does half of Veeky Forums work for Papa Johns?

...

Taste dat ass pizzaboi.

this, except at Pizza Hut

>Pulled over while going 15 over in a 20.
>Don't have my topper on.
>Cop walks up, roll down window.
>bombarded by the smell of pizza
>Are you working sir?
>Yes
>Ok you can go

>Telemetry
>track our speed and location, as well as measure our acceleration, braking, and cornering

This should be mandatory in all new cars for insurance purposes.

OK Hillary.

I work in-store

>tfw you can still hoon like a madman on the way to work

What's even better is that since more cars will be equipped with cameras, if the computer senses an accident, it can automatically send the camera footage. That provides documentation along with the sensors that show there was a potential crash situation.

damn thats some nazi shit m8


i mean my job is like that, but the vehicle im driving actually belongs to the company i work for so its understandable, but fuck man its your own car and you have to pay for your own tickets for speeding etc anyway

SURE, THEN WE'LL ALL JUST JACK INTO THE MATRIX, OH BOY THE FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT

This is why I will only buy pre-OBDII cars for as long as possible.

More like Papa JOHNSON am i rite?

More like Papa (((Johnbergs)))

So basically, everyone will be running stop lights and red lights all day.

That's what I'm saying. If they are gonna pull that shit, it should at least be a company vehicle.

That won't make a difference with the car topper.

Everything will be tracked with a GPS and a accelerometer built into the topper.

A battery is built-in so you won't have to plug the topper into your cigarette lighter socket.

>"My cig lighter doesn't work boss!"
Problem solved. Just fuckin pull the fuse if he tries to question it.

I'm sure tampering with the car topper will get you fired assuming the fuse would be inside the new topper instead of on the cord of the old topper.

You're fired asshole.

Not to mention, you'll be assigned to a car topper when you do clock in, so if you take it home after work and they see it's missing, they're going to know it's was you.

Not to mention they can still track it with the gps.

All this for fucking pizza
This timeline sucks

Wouldn't it make more sense to put it on the pizza bag?

Also, I guess they're expecting pizzas to be late now.

On the picture.
> Taking turns or corners at an accelerated speed

Have you always been this stupid?

When are they not? My arrival time has consistently been 45-hour and I don't live in the sticks/boonies

I don't order pizza anyway; My current takeaway of choice is a kebab van in a lay-by, and doesn't deliver.

I may take up delivery work if my day job keeps cutting my hours, and I don't get the (much better) job I'm applying for, though. Stick a box on the back of my 125cc bike, and keep running it after I've bought a big bike.

Good luck with that
>delivering via box on bike
You live in a city?

live in asia?
thats the only place ive personally seen pizza delivery on a bike

I got confused by the (You)s.

>box on the back of my 125cc bike
you are going to get ground into hamburger

Nah pull the fuse in the car nigger.

Fuck that. You tell them that they didn't require your cig lighter working when you were employed so you are going to lawyer up if they try and pull that.

I've seen them on the east coast beaches like Del/MD

>they didn't require your cig lighter working when you were employed
Read the fine print on your employment agreement. If you can't find it, don't blame them for your failure to keep important documents.

>pulling the car fuse
Yeah, pulling the fuse would disable the cigarette lighter, but what the fuck is that supposed to do?

So the car topper won't get power and can't transmit your life story to Papa J's.

>tfw I carry my Bepis-provided iPhone everywhere and they can track my every move
Hey, at least it has unlimited data

You're not reading my posts - the new car topper is cordless.

...

>tfw nobody will ever deliver your pizza in a '70 Camaro and leave some rubber on your driveway
;_;

Fun fact. That car was in a trailer and the trailer got stolen in Detroit one night. The niggs dumped the car and kept the trailer though.

>dream of delivering pizza to Eurobeat is dead

This is just the modern equivalent of the paper cup.
Of course, Takumi wasn't at risk of being fired for spilling the water.

this is why i do grub hub instead

I wouldn't be surprised if they ask me how I'm able to accelerate and brake right under the threshold.

They count against hard acceleration and braking which is going 7-10 mph in one second based on their policy.

>user, I've noticed you're always braking accelerating by 10 mph in 1.01 seconds, how is that possible?

i am a delivery driver for papa johns, and i dont know if ill even be remotely concerned about this or not.
my store is so outdated its painful and i doubt we'll get these but our new assistant manager is a cunt and will probably want to update.
if we do get these im fucking quitting. this shits fucking gay and i already get calls that im "going fast" but i drive a 27 year old miata that barely runs.
also, how the FUCK IS IT SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW ME THAT WELL?? there are so many backroads all over the place that not even google maps knows the speed limit for, is it just gonna instantly mark me if i go on those roads?
hes fucking spending money on this when we still dont have insurance or opportunities for higher pay.
fuck this gay earth

so is your candy ass the reason all the buses here do 15 below the speed limit?

Finally

>The Deliverator's car has enough potential energy packed into its batteries to fire a pound of bacon into the Asteroid Belt. Unlike a bimbo box or a Burb beater, the Deliverator's car unloads that power through gaping, gleaming, polished sphincters. When the Deliverator puts the hammer down, shit happens. You want to talk contact patches? Your car's tires have tiny contact patches, talk to the asphalt in four places the size of your tongue. The Deliverator's car has big sticky tires with contact patches the size of a fat lady's thighs. The Deliverator is in touch with the road, starts like a bad day, stops on a peseta.
>Why is the Deliverator so equipped? Because people rely on him. He is a role model. This is America. People do whatever the fuck they feel like doing, you got a problem with that? Because they have a right to. And because they have guns and no one can fucking stop them. As a result, this country has one of the worst economies in the world. When it gets down to it -- talking trade balances here -- once we've brain-drained all our technology into other countries, once things have evened out, they're making cars in Bolivia and microwave ovens in Tadzhikistan and selling them here -- once our edge in natural resources has been made irrelevant by giant Hong Kong ships and dirigibles that can ship North Dakota all the way to New Zealand for a nickel -- once the Invisible Hand has taken all those historical inequities and smeared them out into a broad global layer of what a Pakistani brickmaker would consider to be prosperity -- y'know what? There's only four things we do better than anyone else:
>music
>movies
>microcode (software)
>high-speed pizza delivery

10/10

lol what are you on about
if you aren't completely retarded the pizza will still be in good shape
out of hundreds of deliveries I only killed a single pizza
and that wasn't directly related to my driving

Dunno about burgerstan but the toppers for Domino's here in Australia have had tracking capabilities for a few years now.

Employees get locked out of the system all the time for speeding and we just unlock them and give them a mild word not to do it again. Never heard of anyone being fired for reckless driving.

Anyway, fuck driving. Become a manager, shit's awesome. Better money, better hours, way less work. Plus now that I'm not constantly driving and putting on several thousand kilometers a year, I can own an actually nice car instead of a shitbox. That said, I do sometimes miss just abusing the fuck out of my old shitbox, I had some fun times with that car...

I was taking an order over the phone, where the customer wanted the 2 Medium, 2 Toppings for $6.99 each discount, but only ordered one two-topping pizzas and a medium cheese pizza.

I told them the total was $19.something and they went ballistic on me saying the total should be $13; I told them they only ordered one two-topping pizza and the other pizza only had one topping, so the discount only applied to one pizza - they hung up.