Last minute signallers

>people who rush ahead and try To cut in front of you when two lanes are zippering and end up stopping trafic because they have To be let into traffic
Fucking kys and get in line

This is why whenever I'm driving with someone, one of us gets in the closing lane and we ride side by side up until the merge point, then let the other in. It's so much faster plus it's a riot to watch the people who were behind him have to wait because they were too stubborn to merge earlier

>stuck behind kind of slow minivan
>don't mind, not in a hurry atm
>they signal early enough, turn safely
>I accidentally take too long to release clutch and end up revving at them really loudly as I go by
I didn't mean to safety-bro, I'm sorry

Welcome to Miami.

a minute's more than enough

>In the inside turning lane
>Turn into the outside lane
ree.

>It's a "woman slows down for a turn, no signals, begins to make the turn and then realizes that she has terrible direction and swings wildly to continue straight" kind of drive to work

I swear to god I'm going to hunt you down

dammit v_v
idk it happens man hopefully he;s/she's a forgiving person

Fucking hate this shit my dude

> drifts into your lane while turning through an intersection
> almost hits you

>Driving Nee-san trucklet pretty much at speed limit in toight city streets
>Whoah, here comes Baldy Badass, wearing dark as fuk Ray-Bans, in his base-model, brand-new Audi A3 behind me
>Attempts to pass on the right, big mistake shyamalam
>Place the truck in the middle of the street, effectively blocking him behind me
>Assess the situation. Mirrors confirm we're all alone for about 5 blocks, so it's not gonna bother anyone...
>Proceed to gently brake, and drop into first gear, and idle
>And idle
>And idle
>And idle
>And idle
>For two blocks, just idling, his 1st gear at idle is too fast, has to keep pressing in the clutch to go slow enough
>Baldy is so mad that his head could be used as a substitute for a nuclear reactor's core
>Make it a point to stop and wait for the cars that are coming half a block away on the streets we cross
>I make my turn early, for a good reason
>Give Baldy a friendly wave as I turn. Hear him accelerate, and see him blast by, only to brake and scrape the SHIT out of his car in an XBAWKS-huge speedbump that isn't marked yet. Sparks fly and nasty sounds are heard

I have too many of these stories to count, I sware

why were in the passing lane?

MOAR
I love these retard vs vigilante stories

>signalling after they have already merged
>not signalling at all
>not taking turns at stop signs
>going half the speed limit
>going half the speed limit in the passing lane
>people who cruise in the passing lane
>when they speed up to overtake you and you speed up and you end up gunning it to the stoplight and running the red light because you don't let some faggot in his ricer honda beat you because you respect yourself and that is not how you're going to start your morning because you have english first class and spent the entire night handwriting your essay because the printer shit itself and you didn't bother checking if it had ink the night before and you're really fucking tired and you're not about to let that faggot agitate you because you're on the brink of a rampage because you only had 3 hours of sleep and 2 cups of coffee isn't going to cut it and you have work after so you know you're sure as hell aren't going to get any sleep tonight and you constantly wonder why you work in a shitty fast food restaurant in college because it's super stressful and you fucking hate going home smelling like grease and your managers are fucking cunts who like to dick around in their office on their phones while you bust your ass on drive through and front counter because you're the only employee who speaks fucking english for some god damn reason I fucking hate my job

>people who don't realize undertaking is so dangerous it's illegal in first-world countries.
>pic related

>Blonde mom in infiniti suv turns signal on to switch to left lane

>switches right

>when trying to find parking spaces at a mall and you signal but some cunt flies into the spot anyway

I'm food service too user, wanna talk? I just happen to wear a green apron

>not taking turns at stop signs

While turning left at a four-way stop I had some bitch in a convertible on the opposite side of the intersection start pulling forward. I'm literally in the middle of the road, and she's pulling up on me, stops, and yells out "Hey!" really loud like I was being a dick despite the fact that she pulled up after me.

I had both windows down and just yelled "I'M ALREADY IN THE FUCKING ROAD YOU STUPID SLUT!" and my sister flipped her off from the passenger seat.

The roads making up the stop crossed at a shallow angle, hence why it took me so long to make the turn.

No passing lane bae, just a left lane where a car is supposed to drive, and a "parking area" (right side) where it's illegal to drive/overtake, only bikes can ride there, although there's little space for a motor/pedal bike to fit in between a parked car and a moving car

>Driving Honduh CR-V at speed limit on some well-known two-lane blacktop, being good goy, etc
>Fuckhead comes flying up my ass
>SURPRISE it's a VW Amarok
>They like to flaunt their "ability" to Sanic in the open roads to compensate for the fact that they can't stand up to any abuse/can't go offroad cause notorque
>Lights disappear in my mirrors he's so close
>This nigger has MILES of free road to overtake and isn't doing so
>Signal with blinker for him to go
>Nothing
>Gesture for him to go, he gestures back demanding that I accelerate
>He wants to just ride my ass all the fucking way?
>Decelerate
>He follows suit
>Tap brakes, several times, got some response but he quickly resumes riding my ass

Okay...it's war

>Prepare super sekrit wepon
>Open sunroof
>Accelerate quickly
>Take out a couple of tied-together net-bags of mushy-but-not-yet-rotten potatoes (for that extra smell) and a couple of pretty much spoiled tomatoes, sourced from my friendly local greengrocer who gives them out for free ("for my compost", hue) and throw 'em out the sunroof with a well-calculated force
>SPLASH
>Can see potato bits in the grille, so it got into the radiator. Hopefully there's a dent somewhere there too, and there's some plastic broken for sure
>Roll down window and wave "bye bye" with hand as I accelerate like a madman
>He tries to catch up to no avail, wiper trying to clean tomato off the windshield
>Won't catch me, Honduh is faster, and I've got like 40 miles of nothingness ahead of me, free to do 110 MPH as I please

Hope I at least gave him a few weeks of stench, if not damaged his air conditioner/radiator

Either way, there's no way to describe how good it felt, it was transcendental

Happens to me when I'm driving work trucks.

>audi driver
>parks like a dickhead

yep

Once when I was in a huge jam, some guy had parked his car perpendicularly across the 'open' lane linejumpers were trying to speed down. He was just chillin in there.

People who don't use there turn signal need to crash into a logging truck at highway speed.

>at a redlight
>somebody behind me honks at me
>draw at them

either pass me or fuck off, i ram pacers

i dont mind that. as long as they speed up enough to get in front of me or slow down and get behind me. its when they match that drives me nuts.

No you don't. If you drive all the way to the merge point, the guy letting you in has to stop so you can move your shortsighted ass, which creates an insta-jam behind him. Of course since most people won't leave enough space between cars, zippering won't work any way.

>half-empty parking lot
>car parks on white line or god forbid next to it (from the wrong side)
I'd just destroy their driving licences senpaitachi

>live in Vegas
>Californians do this constantly
>turn away, hear them honk
>keep turning, run them off the road

Don't care. I've done it 4 times now.

>stop and go traffic
>car in front of me keeps accelerating and hitting the brakes making me brake hard every time
>try to creep so that I don't have to keep stopping
>guy behind me honks

>On highway, some guy in BMW behind me, does nothing special
>Notice I have a kind of dirty windshield, so I pull the lever and clean my windshield
>Of course SOME drops and splashes hit the car behind me (because he was too close for going 90)
>Overtakes me, gets RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, I mean, like not even 50 yards
>Uses his window splasher
I still don't understand it. I have never encountered anyone feeling insulted by somebody cleaning their windshield. I did nothing beforehand for him to perceive it as some harassment. How can one be so petty?

>crusing lanes with no signals what so over
I hope every one of these niggers rots in hell

>driving behind some geriatric driving 15 under and braking for no reason
>ride ass and honk literally every time I see their brake lights come on
>they are driving in the right side of the lane, I'm not sure if they want me to pass or not
>right side tail light is out and it's one of those retarded vehicles where the brake light is the blinker
>continue this fucking charade for 12 miles
>Pennsylvania plates, so I am both confused and enraged
>mfw they finally fucking turn onto a side street

did you call him a fat pig

>Be on highway
>Car in front of me uses their window cleaner
>Car has bad pressure in the system, so my cleaners have been unusable for months
>Hit my wipers, and overtake him to give him a thumbs up
What a nice guy he was.

Had this today. Fucker almost crashed into me by using both lanes on a two lane roundabout a minute or so earlier.

>creeping forward for the same reason
>people in the next lane cut in front and slam on their brakes

heh. i know exactly where that warehouse is.

>Walking on sidewalk
>Some 80 year old cunt with his wife in BMW on the he side of road decides to clean windshield
>Get sprayed with water
>Couldn't go into store looking like this so I had to keep walking to dry off

At least his wife got mad at him. Fuck BMW drivers

>drive down two-lane county road
>stuck behind geezer in Chebby crossover doing exactly the limit
>silver CR-V with late-30s manlet behind the wheel on my ass for the past mile
>move over to let him pass and then move back
>he gets stuck behind the geezer
>he stays on his brakes the entire time

>trying to sleep
>some car with a cat and muffler delete blows by shifting through the gears
Mixed feelings on this one. If I weren't trying to sleep Id probably be intrigued

Another one

>Driving CR-V again, this time innacity
>In 3-lane avenue, first at stoplight, in the middle, no traffic right now, but gets a bit dense ahead
>Hear some offensive noise come from my right, look and sure enough, a cunt in a brand new Corolla, doesn't even have the number plates yet, is blasting regaeton or whatever boomtastic music, windows halfway down and all
>Fumbling with cellphone for eons at a time, can't fucking believe it
>Can't even listen to muh Grand Funk in peace, even with my windows closed
>Light goes green, gun it, tard follows a bit after, get to 40 MPH (speed limit)
>3 lanes turn into 2 because of parked cars on the right, and the center-most lane is a bit busy
>Go into left-most lane since it's pretty much empty and I'm turning in a while
>Tard gets behind me as well, seems to be in a hurry eh?
>We've been cruising at 40 MPH for a short while now, and she's back at her screen, again, for eternities at a time
>She's spending more time looking at her phone than at the road, isn't she?
>We're quickly closing in on a slow as shite city bus
>Prepare to make my move...
>Accelerate slowly away to get some room between tard and myself, and to have room to comfortably swerve to my right and brake there
>Wait for tard to look at her screen
>Heart is racing, palms are sweaty, mom's spaghetti
>Check mirrors, shoulder check, deep breaths
>Wait until there's about 10 or so yards between bus and myself to make a hard dive right, and brake a bit too softly
>Witness how the brand fucking new car smashes into the rear of the bus, and the airbags deploy, smoke/gas blowing out the open windows
>Skiddly de bop away, wondering if she ever saw the bus/used the brakes at all

Absolutely sublime feelings, I tell you

>on 1 lane motorway in a sort of rural area
>every so often the one lane opens to two so people can overtake trucks and shit
>be stuck behind one of those trucks that does 20 under the limit for no reason
>huge line of cars stuck behind this geek
>overtaking lane appears
>suddenly its a fucking race
>truck drops two gears and floors it, huge plume of black smoke from the exhaust
>only 5 or 6 cars can actually manage to pass him before the lane ends
>after the lane ends he goes back to doing 20 under
send these scum to the gas chamber

that's bullshit but i believe it

>police started to blitz construction zones and ticket everyone they can who interferes with zipper merging where I live because it's actually law here
>traffic flow improved by ~40% overnight
>many states have started painting double yellows before the merging zone and close two lane making a lane where the dashed line was so you have to zipper merge anyway to the same result

Neck yourself shitbags

>police have also started going after "left lane bullies" where I live who force people to miss their turns and exits by tailgating and trying to intimidate them out of the way, including people who buy police lights and flip them on to force people over so they have their own personal speeding lane

Thank fuck for that or else no one could get to their destination reasonably. People have no understanding of what "preparing for a left turn" is and it took the police to get them in line. Fucking hell

>make a turn into a parking lot
>entrance has a fairly big speed bump
>slow down to go over it
>car behind me begins honking at me
>see them also go slow over the speed bump

Why are some people naturally assholes?

>Rolling to a stop at stop sign
>not even 2 seconds after stopping some faggot behind me honks at me
Jesus fucking Christ. Why are people so god damn imaptient?

playing mario kart irl must be pretty fun

it's the automatic transmission. in a manual car it's so much easier to follow the traffic laws.

>trying to pull out of spot in crowded parking lot
>two cars from opposite directions stop to try and grab my spot
>both too close for me to pull out safely
>try to gesture them off
>nothing
they fucking sat there for like a full 2-3 minutes until one of them finally gave up and left

>no signalers aka luxury car drivers

>carrying around rotting produce in case of road rage incidents
Dedication.

I've been actively hunting/baiting/trolling retards since I begun driving about a decade ago, bae, and I've only become more avid and cunning ever since

Granted, the vast majority of the stuff that I've done is like the Baldy shit, but once in a blue moon, a golden opportunity presents itself, and I take it. Be it a hit-and-run whose pickup I get to fill with xylene overnight (leaving a courtesy sign explaining the situation and why their interior is destroyed, of course), or throw pre-cut/weakened bottles of some god-knows-what-based paint remover out the window of my cars at retards on the highway...I do go out of my way to fuck with retards

The best part, IMO, is having a legit reason to do 100 MPH for a good long while

I mean, look at it like this: taking the car to 150 MPH is doable, I can do that for a couple hours if I actually wanted, but doing so while having a fuming asshole behind you, and your friends in the back seat screaming at you to get the fuck out of there? That's something else

Extremely addicting

Eh, I did it to stop carrying around chemicals like paint remover and whatever my acquaintances could get me

No, I just shouted in my car with the windows up, like I always do. I'm too much of a pussy to open up the window and actually engage in some real road rage.

Believe it or not, it's often done with good intentions. Most times it's better to speed up out of courtesy for the people behind them or around them

>see some young kid driving
>fallow him home
>tfw im looking at him through a window
what do bros?

Ive noticed this since I started driving manual. Everyone is a fucking maniac.

nobody wants to watch you downshift through each gear dork just coast it like a normal person

please consider suicide or reconsider if necessary

>Truck going at 86km/h overtaking a truck going 85km/h
>People that merge in front of you cutting you off and then proceed to go at 60% of the speed limit
>Women drivers. No joke, no sexism. They're bad.
>Being challenged at every single stoplight by some beer can drinking retard who's near his 30's but still lives at home so can therefor afford a €2500 shitbox with a loud exhaust and thinks he's the shit with 98hp. Also has a 16 year old girlfriend

>brand new massive double cab 4x4, lift optional
>expecting them to go anywhere below 90 mph for any reason
>expecting them to signal, ever
>expecting them to follow any kind of rule
>cops don't stop them because they're one of the boys
at this point they think their president will pardon them so don't you dare get near them or they might get out their guns and kill you

>driving on Highway
>coming up to an on ramp
>see a police car coming up it
>slow down a bit to let it merge
>car behind me switches lanes and comes up right beside me
>passenger throws a drink out the window at me
>passes me
>the cop cars lights flash

Well if the cops would actually enforce laws against cruising in the left lane and drivers around here weren't such poorly informed/lazy assholes I wouldn't have to undertake.

Ya thats all correct now get your shit box out of my way pleb.

>this assmad

not him but it's fun seeing r*tarded people like you think they're okay

>a bicyclist to the right of me
>I'm trying to turn right
>if I turn in front of him, I'm close to cutting him off
>but if I turn behind him, I have to brake pretty hard since he's going 10 mph and I'm going 30
>decide to just skip my right turn there, accelerate hard, and turn right at the next intersection

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE bicyclists should not be on the public roads

Judt signal beep the horn and see if he slows down or speeds up.

>Parking lot has slanted parking spots so you can only park coming from one directions
>people drive the wrong way down them anyways
>have to do a 5 point turn to get into the spot while holding up people who entered from the right side

>people going 60 in the left lane of highway traffic where normal speed for that lane is 80-85

I don't think there's anything that makes me more angry than this one. Non signallers are absolute mongs but generally they're out of your way and you forget about them, but people who cruise in the left lane sometime have you stuck behind them for 5 minutes with cars flying past you on the right.

I've considered literally swerving in their direction as I'm passing to cause them to wreck or getting in front of them and slamming on my brakes.

I need help.

Help me.

Please.

>beep the horn
>he ignores you and maintains speed

then what?

The first time I was introduced to the "zipper it in" concept was in bootcamp. It makes since really instead of having people scramble at random speeds and random spots to cut people off at. It amazes me that people outside the military doesn't understand this concept. It should've been taught in kindergarten.

It does work retard.

>car pulls out onto my road
>have to slow down because he couldn't wait for me to pass
If you can't get up to speed before I get to you, just fucking stay there until I pass.

I love fucking with these guys at night on an empty highway

>be me
>1am
>driving IS-F on empty stretch of road
>a wild coal rolling bro truck appears
>get in front of him
>slow down, his dick gets shorter every time he hits the brakes
>he goes to pass
>floor it and block him from passing

I've had guys try to run me off the road, pull guns on me, etc, but I don't care, it's too much fun. I also do it to Audi drivers since their ego is more fragile than the bro truckers

there should be enough room for another car to fit in on front of you if you're in a merge area

>light turns green
>car behind me immediately honks

Let Darwin take care of the rest

This is why automatic/CVT and manual/dual-clutch transmissions should not be allowed on the same road.

>SUV/high end Mercedes/BMW ignores my right of way
It happened so many times I give them a pre-emptive long honk when I see one coming my way. It works.

California drivers are the fucking worst for this.

Shit on his hood

Rides in a vehicle that significantly reduces travel time compared to slower vehicles. Complains that slower vehicles don't yield to him. Biking wouldn't even be a viable mode of transportation if they had to yield for every snowflake.

>people who signal at the appropriate time but take 20-30 seconds to change lanes
>people who signal but for whatever reason don't change lanes
>people who try to merge and ignore the fact that you're creating space for them because they want to have one less car in front of them

>120kmh speed limit, 4 lanes
>a shitton of people on the left are all cruising like faggots
>can't overtake because there are so many that there would be no safe distance between us
>have to drive on the far right
>have to slow down like fuck to 80-90 or else I'd be undertaking
FUCKING GET OFF THE HIGH WAY YOU CUNTS

>car's brake lights are also the turn signals
>one of the lights isn't working

>car's brake lights are also the turn signals

>2 lane roundabout
>asshole doesn't signal
>nearly crash into him
>she still has the audacity to honk at me

Oh, roundabouts
>driving in a tiny one
>guy tries to muscle in, almost hitting my side
>and then honks at me for it

I'm young and I only got a loud exhaust so I can rev match better