How do I become a hitman?

Seriously though, how do I do it?

How do I advertise my services and ensure customer satisfaction?
Any hitmen IRL know anything?

I thought a hit was just to pay off debts and maybe a few grand.

For regular pay, try out as a special forces sniper.

I was thinking more of a killer for hire.

Nothing brutal or messy just a knife to the brain or an ice pick to the spinal cord.

Fuck, I'm not trying to strangle someone to death. As simple as possible, hell even poisoning someone for $.

First, call the FBI and let them know you're considering a career change. They'll be able to guide you in the right direction. However, on the off chance you're not FBI, join the army and then look at CIA when you're out. Then, you'll likely get the chance to take a suitcase full of money to some Pakistani to go kill another Pakistani. The CIA will give you $200k. You take $100k of that and boom, you're kind of a hitman. It's how they did it in Vietnam so probably still the same.

Most of the offers will come from the feds.

You need to ply your trade outside the US but not in Latin America or Canada.

Try a quasi nice place that is also sort of lawless like Egypt, Turkey, maybe a former soviet republic. Advertise through the dark web but do your ad for your country. Still its kinda too risky because you get caught you might get tortured to death which is no fun.

Get a resume of hits, take encrypted photos of all your kills but bar out the eyes because you are classy like that. Victims who come upon that will appreciate your work and maybe come to you to kill their own enemies.

You can live in the USA once you get a serious clientele and cred. If you somehow live through pulling off asssassinations in Afghanistan, you can probably work on rep alone so you don't need to stick your neck out. Congrats you now are one of the maybe 10 working hitmen in the USA but you'll probably still die at some point.

make an app. put it in the app store. be the uber of murder for hire.

Topkek

and call it muber

>bar out the eyes because you are classy like that

Micro or Macro? What college?