Company F*ck Ups

massdebater
massdebater

Graduate state college with a BS in Psychology
Apply for a shitty job I don't really want at a non-profit
They invite me in for an interview
Nail it because I'm a Normy
Don't really care about job so I make one stipulation: instead of a 'Direct Support Professional' I want my job title to be 'Client Analysis Consultant' - sounds better on a resume
They fucking bite
Same job as 40 other people, different title
I do 1/4 the work I should, job inherently has very little oversight
Coast by 13 months
Dress nicer than everyone else, button up and dress pants while everyone else wears regular tees and jeans
Act kinda condescending to my peers
Hey, how's the job going? Are you liking it so far? Any complaints? Keep up the good work kid!
No one really knows what my deal is, just know I'm different somehow
Company gets reorganized (like nonprofits constantly do)
Director retires, move to an office model instead of in-home assistance to families
All of my co-workers were laid off, supervisors were brought in from other divisions
Me and the secretaries were the only ones kept

I didn't even fucking plan this. They didn't understand what my job is and thought I was too important to get rid of, now I'm training new employees to do the same job I did shitily for a year except in an office environment. The CEO himself sat down with me and rehired me at 56k when before I made 32k. I'm being thrust into a managerial position at 23. My last supervisor worked her ass of in my old job for 13 years before getting promoted and got canned.

Anyone else have any funny stories of huge company blunders?

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

I like where this thread is going.

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

This isn't reddit you don't need to censor your bad words.

Snarelure
Snarelure

Cunts

SniperGod
SniperGod

Lol it's funny because I got laid off among the entire Marketing department as the presiding manager at the time, who got fired a quarter later, kept two FOBs who did everything beyond graphic design. To this day she still talks to me that she hates her position because she's busy with project planning but came from a graphic design position.

IMO, "reorganization" shows more a dire financial situation than a blunder and that although you're making more than your original salary you're actually going to do twice the work at half the usual pay. Keep your doors open OP

WebTool
WebTool

15 yr old bus boy
Kitchen manager at 18
General manager at 21
Beat out a 40 yr old lady that been there 20 yrs
Bust ass for 8 years then went on to better pastures
Salty now 48 yr old lady takes over
Gets fired in 2 years

Too bad they didn't teach me how to be a good manager until I went and took management courses during the last 4 years

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

Our companies money comes from the government, so we're constantly audited for efficiency - which is why we keep getting reshuffled. And trust me, if there's one thing I'm great at its not doing shit. After two weeks if training, which I'm just reusing power points already made but changing some words, they'll be virtually self sufficient and I'll be doing nothing again.

I plan on changing my resume to make it sound like this has been a managerial position all along, so I have a years experience already. And whose to contradict me? The new director who comes to me for advice and who isn't even sure if he's my boss?

I swear to god, I was scared to join the workforce - but I haven't worked more than three hours in one day since I started.

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

Didn't see nonprofit. That's pretty comfy, just show up and collect the paycheck.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

I have another story, but it isn't mine:
Friend works for a debt collection company
Contracted to call people who owe money by various companies
A Children's Hospital hires them to collect
He gets to the parents of dieing/recently deceased children that they owe huge quantities of money
Says the job is killing him, makes dozens of parents cry and beg each day, but he's only the messenger
It took two months to realize that the Hospital was fucking up sending them the pre-insurance bills
So (most of) the bills were already either paid weeks ago or 1/10 of what they were told
His company was told to just pretend it didn't happen

My friend was depressed as shit from his job. He was telling grieving, often suicidal parents that they were suddenly and shockingly financial ruined for two months - then found out it wasn't even true, and no retraction was given.

farquit
farquit

I posted this here before, but basically I worked on some back end tech aspects of my company that was bought out by a major competitor. Some staff were layed off, managers got nice shiny new positions at the HQ, some new staff from the HQ came to our location. The new people didn't really understand what my job was when I explained it to them, but they assumed it is important to deal with legacy clients from the old firm. The thing is like 95% of our clients had already been moved to the main database. So I got maybe 1-2 phonecalls a month, and was being paid $45k + benefits to sit around doing nothing. I did this for 2 years until our office was finally wrapped up by the HQ, getting 3months severance pay. It was a fun 2 years having my own office and literally no responsibilities.

Firespawn
Firespawn

but why? being bored at work sucks dick. And why would you be content making $45k in IT. That's literally entry level. You could have pushed up towards $75k in those 2 wasted years

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

I had my own office, I could close the door and do whatever the fuck I liked, no one monitored me or anything. I played games, learnt new skills like music creation, animation etc.

And I'm not American I just translate my salary to dollars to help people here understand, which is what everyone does.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

This is really funny good job with thag meme stipulation user

Illusionz
Illusionz

Seems like the only way you could slack off was because you had your own office. Nowadays they are doing the open cubicle or even worst, tables next to each other concept

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

Hahaha that is awesome

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

reorganizing happens in every company pretty much constantly, it's mostly driven by managerial politics.

askme
askme

i worked at microsoft when they laid off a bunch of people a few years ago. the severance was one months pay for every year you'd been at the company.

one person who was laid off had been there six years. they were rehired six months later. six months paid vacation.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

this is illegal yo

farquit
farquit

10/10 story if true, but I highly doubt it

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

Yep

Having several friends who have worked for charities and non-profits, these organizations don't do shit. They largely exist as a way for the rich to launder money as to avoid paying taxes and for bored wealthy housewives to keep themselves occupied.

King_Martha
King_Martha

work in essential position for company doing sales
working 60-70 hrs a week busting ass without getting paid OT (I was salaried)
decide one morning at 7am to quit, throw out all my old files and notes, including a bunch of important information
run into colleague on my way out the door as he is walking in
he convinces me not to quit, but to wait to get fired
I agree and go back in to wait it out
stop answering my phone, basically just do nothing most of the day
all important documents have been thrown away
stop working late, just go in at 9 and leave at 5
co-worker who used to have my job gets super pissed because she has to take on some of my duties, but idgaf
takes 3 weeks before I am actually fired

Fuck those bastards. Last I heard, they just laid off about half the people.

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

I got fired from a quality control position at the testing centre for a very large paint manufacturer because I raised concerns that the lab tech had been fabricating all the results for the last 10 years. More of a collosal fuck up on my part really

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