Roastie in Mercedes behind me at stoplight honks cause I don't go the second it turns green

sure dude.

Why ever would someone tell lies on the internet

>torquey as fuck
>need to give it gas

For that internet points

D-did I tell you everyone clapped

>some middle aged roastie pulls up to me at an intersection of a one way and a two way
>asks for directions to the bank downtown
>tell her she needs to turn left on the one way and take a roundabout down the road to the other one way to get going to the bank
>she seems like she's drugged out
>brushes off everything I say and asks me what direction the bank is
>I tell her but emphasize that she can't take a right on the one way
>light turns green, she hauls ass in a right turn into oncoming traffic and runs right into a car
>laugh and drive off

I speed up if I see the light turn yellow

I cant not do it

>teaching brother how to drive manual in 97 firebird i just got him
>some dude that lives in same apartment complex has 2015 STI starts riding my brothers ass and honks whole time
>brother gets stressed and stalls twice cause he can't concentrate
>both hop out of car and i take over to take us back home
>subaru beta yells out his car "your v8 is shit"
>ruined my whole night
>brother doesn't mind though he just wants to move on
>next morning i'm getting in my dodge r/t to get to work
>drive a little bit to a light thats red
>couple seconds later the subaru boy shows up
>role down window and look at him and lock eyes
>turn my music up blaring and give him the finger
>GREEN LIGHT
>we both go full throttle down the street neck and neck we're just about going 80mph down a 35
>realize im being suicidal and slow down to 50 then 40
>stop at next light he's still next to me
>he flips me off and says i own a piss of shit
>"beats owning a lying awd outdated turbo"
>he frowns and starts revving
> as do i
>i notice a cop up ahead anout to pull into road on the side
>say nothing
>green light
>he goes full speed down the road zooming past the cop
>cherries and blueberries right away
>cruise by at normal speed waving as he sits in his car at the side of the road

>Be me with 1985 BMW R80
>Top tier shitbike
>Friend gets a new Mazdaspeed6
>user, let's drag race
>Okay senpai
>Don't really give much of a shit if I win or not but of course would like to
>Give her all hell at the line
>Huh we're neck and neck
>About half a bike length ahead at 60mph and I'm still in third
>He has to brake because there's a car in front of him
>I slow down too since I'm risking more being on a bike
>Next light
>user, let's race again
>Naww, motorcycles are safer when you don't have to put extra risk in riding
>He still wasn't satisfied

Planned on racing again but he totaled his car like a week later.

I intentionally stop for the yellow so I can be first at the red light and use launch control.

>motorcycles are safer when you don't take risks
Damn you should write a book

>two lane road by college
>have to make right at second stop light
>boy racers try to take outside lane to get in front of everyone
>light goes green
>just cruise next to them so they're forced to take a left

One of my favorite things to do

>I stalled 3 or 4 times when learning stick
>No one ever honked at me
>I drive a "douchebag" car
>I live in mean-people filled california

So why didnt i get honked at?

I tell random people at stoplights they have a brake light out just to waste 30 seconds of their day when they eventually go and check

...

is it true that you are schizophrenic?
Not trying to be mean just curious

Sometimes it just doesn't happen. I've never had it happen to me, but I've honked at the truly inattentive

>change lanes to pass a work truck
>corolla behind me does the same thing
>starts tailgating at 5 over
>truck makes a right on a side street
>corolla changes lanes
>tries to pass me on the right
>fails due to minivan
>overtake minivan
>corolla changes lane again and tries to pass and fails
>right lane becomes turn only
>corolla brakes to get in behind
>slow down to speed limit
>corolla forced to take turn
worst part is, the road it was forced to go down is a pain to turn around on

>hill start
>fucking gramps rolls up behind me in Caddy
>stall twice
>starts honking
>stall once more
>start car up fast, GAS GAS GAS
>still slow because scared, shaking
>hear mighty roar of V8 engine
>followed by honking
>gramps overtakes me while light is red
>still honking
>shakes his fucking cane out the window
>tfw painful and funny to remember

Roastie?

Newfag.

>sitting at a light
>driving saab, key in the middle
>shitlord passenger turns my car off to fuck with me, right as the light turns green.
>takes me about 30 seconds to figure out why I have zero throttle response
>horns blaring behind me
>figure out my issue and start the car back up just in time to be the only car to make the light.

I still am embarrassed, months later.

I don't understand why most of you in this thread are even posting in Veeky Forums. You clearly don't care about driving.

Why not just pay attention and go when the light turns green? You're literally forcing all other drivers behind you to miss the opportunity to make it thru the light. (assuming shitty big metro traffic situations)

>light turns green on a one way road
>very slowly accelerate because >passengers and intersection 200 feet ahead just turned yellow
>some clapped out carolla honks and angrily overtakes me, yelling out the window
>screeches to a top at the red
>i slowly pull up and everyone just laughs at him
>he gets red
>light turns green
>easily overtake him because clapped out carolla vs 3k civic
>don't give him room to pass
>hes fuming and laying on the horn for a total of 3 minutes

this carolla was bad. Rear quarter was fucked. Trunk was kept shut with a bungie coord. Riding on a donut. Fucked up paint. Rust everywhere.

Also smelled like it was burning oil.

Probably would've sold for 300$ as a "parts car"

the virgin prelude
the chad suburban

wut? chad drives his parents hand ne down suburban?

>drive slow
>car behind me tries to overtake
>speed up

I've done this on a bike when learning, luckily they didn't honk cause I had L plates.

>only 2 lanes on my local highway
>truck is about to pull into the fast lane to overtake another
>speed up, flash and honk
>proceed to block him until he goes back to the slow lane

NO. THAT LANE IS NOT FOR YOU TRUCK.

Fucking this. Red lights are always a treat

simple pleasures in life make everything worthwhile

like a blowjob from a complete stranger but you might say to yourself thats gross user you have no idea where their mouth has been... which is why alcohol or recreational drugs exist to make those little voices in your head stfu

I got a good one.
>Driving vehcle
>we stop
>guy is mad
>wait
>go
>he's still mad

>be driving past protest
>getting swarmed
>lol stall
>start car
>stall again
>start car
>guy hits on windows and startles me
>dump the clutch in confusion
>plough straight through 30 protesters
>proceed to back up and GTFO
>get arrested and make evening news

I've had people do this to me. I have 0 issues tailgating and running the red. I'm no cuck.

I'll probably see myself on the australian dashcams youtube channel.

>owning a lying awd
What did he mean by this

>Stop at weird intersection
>It isn't technically a stop sign
>Guy behind me honks
>Drive ahead
>Don't exceed 5km as i drive down the street

...

>doing the speed limit in the left lane
>bike behind me signals to overtake
>wtf you think this is germany
>see him drift to one side
>copy him so he can't lane split
>he divebombs across three lanes twice and then gets in front of me
>cop in middle lane
>WOOP WOOP WOOP

Lmao traffic autists

>b...but passing lanes

>Anonymous 09/28/17(Thu)14:27:41 No.17952077
Haha, obvious bait ;^)

>buy car off family member
>they put HID's in reflector housings
>commute to work at night
>it pisses off almost everyone
>usually they flash brights
>one weekend night out
>one particular butthurt jeep owner pulls alonside me
>his passenger flashes a mag light in my face
>i instantly brake and pull behind jeepfag
>blast his ass with my HID's until he pulls off
>still haven't gotten reflector housings

>subaru on my ass hard
>overtake old cunt in shitty old Mitsubishi white van doing 20 under
>subaru follows
>butt blasted old man in van speeds up and goes into oncoming lane trying to yell at us
>get gf to record
>subie peels off down coast road
>old cunt follows me home speeding in 50kph zone and driving manically to catch up
>I park outside some rando's house in not my street
>see him on phone to poo poo
>he chased me to take my plates down
>gf recorded everything
>poo poo show up at mine and say I was driving recklessly
>show poo poo video of old man on phone driving like an insane old man
>poo poo go to his place
>live in very very small beach town
>see only his wife driving him around now
>probably lost his licence and got a $500 fine for being on phone while driving.

eat shit old man

>cruising 65 in a 55 semi windy highway
>coming up on a semi maybe 500 yards out
>dude bro who's 1000 yards behind me is FLYING, going 90+ mph. came out of nowhere
>we all get closer together
>he's nearly by me. we are still 150 yards behind the semi
>when he got within 10 ft of me he slowed down to match my speed plus 1 or 2 mph. it's like he was timing it and speeding perfectly to force me to break and get behind him
>to go around the semi i'd have to
>a. speed the hell up and squeeze in front of him or
>b. break the car, merge behind him and follow suit
>the choice was obvious
>downshift, revs up
>he starts speeding up
>I'm gaining, but slowly
>75.. 80 ... 85
>probably 15 - 10 yards from the semi
>barely enough room in front of him to get over, I do it & pass the semi with what feels like a half a car length
>heart rate is GOING
>meanwhile he's honking and flashing his brights at me
>get back over, upshift and slow back to my 65 cruise mode again
>he speeds back up to 90+ and disappears around the next two turns
I still don't understand. It was like the devil playing a game with me.

>Waiting to take right turn because pedestrians
>light turns green
>pedestrians still crossing
>dodge ram behind me honks because of course a dodge ram driver would do that
>wait at the light
>throw the bird out my window
>street clears up and I zip out of there because lolnotatruckcuck
>sit at 4 way stop for a very long time because of course he needed to take the same right turn
>show him my middle finger again
>speed off again
>now he's next to me at the light
>I look directly at him
>he looks defeated
>flip two birds this time
>while looking straight at him
Maybe in a different state the pedestrians might have been wrong, but Minnesota state law says pedestrians always have the right of way.

>pass guy on on ramp
>hes mad as fuck tailgating me and shit when we get on freeway
>few exits later, hes trying to yell at me to me to exit with him, pointing at exit
>i mouth yeah lets do this and point towards exit too
>exit comes and i keep going straight and flip him off and smile
>hes fucking screaming and his face is red as fuck

I got pulled over for going through a yellow recently. Now if I can stop, I will stop.

>and then I woke up

nah man, happened like a week or two ago
I don't gain anything by having people believe me

If I wanted to make it up, it would probably be less ordinary and end with walking the dinosaur

>walking to the grocery store
>crossing the street
>i press pedestrian button
>green light and pedestrian walking sign turns on
>look left since there might be some guy making a right turn
>its safe
>start walking
>look ahead into the lane of oncoming traffic
>theres a guy going to make a left turn
>notice he didn't bother looking to see if there are pedestrians
>stop walking cause i dont want to get hit
>he finally notices me
>i start walking, but really slowly
>once i pass his path i walk at normal speed

whenever the drivers notice me i give them a smile and wave, and quickly walk across. but when they dont notice me i make them pay in seconds.

I would have yelled at them to get the fuck out of my car after that. If a passenger puts my life on the line like that, they get the boot.

Same shit happened to me, was driving turbo saab 93.
Passenger kept pressing sport and winter modes randomly. Completely changes throttle response.

>busiest intersection at a campus for both cars and pedestrians
>it's a four way stop
>one of the streets is the end of a one way
>with easily noticeable do not enter signs, and respective no left turn/no right turn signs
>basically you can guarantee that you'll see some roastie go down it once a week if you walk near this intersection 5 times a week
>men sometimes try, but usually correct themselves
>women just panic, stop in the middle of the intersection, then finally just go down it
>hell, I saw a professer mess it up just yesterday
Great spot for spotting nice cars too, because rich arab students.

Kek

Go back to plebbit

Should've bought a Diesel(tm)
My 90hp Diesel(tm) can easily get going on a steep incline with no additional gas.
My 90hp Diesel(tm) can also easily cruise in 6th gear at full idle. 800 RPM and 32mph.
Buy a Diesel(tm).

I've only stalled once, 4 times in a row with my Suzuki DR350 on a hill, I was blocking about 6 cars but no one honked. God it feels good not to live in the US

fucking kys, where I live there's a law that states that you have to "help" and make way whenever someone overtakes, even if it's illegal. You're the asshole here

>busy road
>trucks holding out everyone on the road, impossible to overtake
>maintaining safe distance
>guy behind tries to get on the spot in front of me
>speed up and almost get him killed

good job user, how did I never thought of that

wtf

You should go ahead and neck your sorry ass. Fucking degenerate.

My friend thought he was being funny.
I made him drive after and pulled the same stunt. He got mad and agreed to never do it again

>agreed to never do it again
Shrekxellant

>driving 70 up the mountain to my home in the woods
>asshole tourist hauling a boat behind him is tailgating me for miles
>doesn't pass because cars are going down hill at the opportunity to pass
>keeps riding my ass even when we get into town
>nearing my exit
>Semi truck coming down the hill
>if I gun it I can make it in time
>decide not to
>slow down and then come to complete stop as the semi drives past
>wave real friendly like to the tourist as he yells at me while I pull onto my road

Not pettiness on my behalf, but I had some guy starting to follow me to work after I drove in the left lane of a road (had to turn left further ahead). He swooped up my ass, flashing his lights and honking his horn. 30 seconds later I reached the turn lane, and he then rolled down his window and started screaming like a baboon. I just laughed at him and took my turn.
I guess this pissed him off even further, because he decided to take a left too, and started tailgating me.
He chickened out when I drove in through the keylocked gate at my workplace, but at that point I'd be willing to take a swing at the cocksucker if he had followed.

I would try that but I'm afraid I would die.

I do this, especially in winter when it feels I'm not gonna stop neatly. One day those red light cameras that have been popping up in my city will fuck me over.

The car
It lies
Falseness and half truth drips from it's silver tongue

Behind horsepower cars.

They go after its gone green and your left wondering why tf they so slow..

When you should have been accelerating hard.

Behind horsepower cars..

They go on red and your wondering why tf they went through on red while the lights go from amber to green..

And you should have been accelerating hard instead.

Both dick moves i never do.

Are you high or just ESL?

That's called "failure to yield", and if your story was even slightly true, the cop would've gotten you, not the biker.
Of course, the fact that you're willing to pull shit like this (even though it's fictional), shows that the previous posters were correct.

You should end yourself now.

i think it was a haiku

you did good
those dumbasses enrage me

You must be suicidal

> Be me in friend's Accord
> Headed to In-N-Out because we're hungry
> At an intersection about to make a left turn
> Light turns green
> Literally at the exact second the light turned green some roastie bitch honks at my friend
> He goes ahead
> Roastie speeds past in suv
> Friend tailgates roastie and honks horn obnoxiously
> He's yelling in the car and holding his horn
> He follows her for a good bit before we just end up going to lunch
> Woman at In-N-Out looks at me and said "Were you the one honking that horn?"
> Look at friend
> Turns out to be some other woman who was actually understanding of our situation

> On the highway outside of Salt Lake
> Doing about 80 but traffic is ahead
> Slow down
> Merge to the right lane
> Some roastie behind me gets on my ass and honks her horn
> I can't go anywhere or do anything, traffic is blocking both lanes
> Cars right in front of me, can't go faster
> Wtf, why honk, I can't do anything and I'm in the right lane
> Bitch gets in left lane and squeezes through a small gap
> Gets in front of me
> It'son.jpg
> Floor it
> Tailgating this bitch, honking my horn
> She speeds up to about 90 but I'm still on her
> Still honking horn
> Find a break in traffic and speed past her at about 130

> Some bitch tires to cut me off on this 2 into 1 merge.
> She's floored in the na 4 cylinder appliance
> Mfw I was there first
> Put car in manual mode and floor it
> Tt2.8inline6.jpg
> Get past her
> Get to stop light... She's behind me
> Wait there for a few seconds
> Slowly pull away, probably doing about 10 miles an hour
> She can't pass me because it's a single lane
> End up speeding away after I had my fun

> Someone pulls out in front of me to make a turn
> Speed up
Or...
> On a two lane highway
> Doing speed limit
> Bitch in minivan tried to pass
> Gets in lane of oncoming traffic
> I speed up
> Fucking kek

>Gramps in an old red single cab shortbed Silverado
>driving my SUV
>interstate is busy for some reason even though we're in rural Illinois
>keep decent distance, gramps is tailgating me
>tries to pass even though there's a semi next to me and a car in front of me doing the same speed
>give it a little gas so he gets stuck behind the semi and has to merge back behind me
>chimpout
>he takes an exit that goes parallel to the interstate for a while
>give him a friendly wave
>he is yelling at me, facing directly to his left, flipping me off with both fingers, ignoring road
>keep waving
>chimps harder and harder

It was a good time

English is my first language although i am brown.

..i aint been high since 2006.

He is the dick move..

It enrages me at the steering wheel..

My slowness as i ponder..

>Haiku.

>Fat arab dude in Audi A5 behind me, approaching a green.
>Light turns yellow.
>Slow down to stop.
>Fat cunt starts revving and honking his horn, trying to make me hurry up.
>Stop
>Pop 2-step
>Fat fuck dives down to the right side of car
>Thought I shot at him.
>Drive off kekking.

Feminine penis

Pleb

Lmao classic

Haikus are 5-7-5, retard.

That's fucked up.

Now ask him to do a cinquain

...

>cinquain

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