First test:

>dont do any parallel parking on my test
>never done any before or after that
if i have to park in a city i'm gonna be fucked

>be me
>go for first test
>uptight poo in loo instructor
>everything is going good
>last turn, right to the DMV
>right on red
>some cunt in a big box van pulls up on my left
>pull out a little so I can see
>bicycle fag in perpendicular crosswalk
>instructor thinks I was turning and auto fails me for trying to turn with someone in the crosswalk
2nd attempt
>nervous this time
>crusty old lady instructor
>pull up to first turn
>unprotected left at a 4 way
>traffic is everywhere
>don't go because I'm nervous
>light turns red
>turns green again
>I go
>finish the test, everything went well
>bitch autofails me for "not obeying traffic" signals on the first turn
3rd attempt
>go to DMV out in the boonies because fuck the cunts at my local DMV
>friendly old dude
>we talk about bows and hunting and shit
>fucking perfect parallel park
>pass

>get white dude
>shoot the shit pass test
>maybe even go out for beers later

>anything else
>super strict won't pass test

First:
>Very busy morning traffic
>turning right, green light with no arrow
(unsure of how burger traffic lights work, but in straya green light with no arrow means to enter the middle of the intersection, and turn once there is is a gap).
>traffic is too busy, there is no gap to be found
>traffic lights turn to red light and red turn arrow
>start panicking and freeze, wtf do I do now
>instructor yells at me to just turn
Haven't encountered this scenario since. Turns out you are meant to turn on the red arrow as soon as it changes in that scenario. Fuck going in the middle of the intersection anyway, I just sit behind the line now.

Second attemp
>qtp2t instructor, laughing and joking the whole time
>autistically fantasize about being with her
>passed (although the roastie marked me down for not indicating when I totally did)

>take license test in Miata
>everything's good until the guy asks me to do a 3-point turn
>do a regular u-turn instead and have room to spare
>fail because though I technically didn't do anything wrong, I disregarded the tester's request

find out where your instructor lives and back into their dog, after you pass your test of course

1st time
>white lady
>day before thanksgiving
>failed me for always stopping too close to other cars in front

2nd attempt
>black lady
>chill af
>perfect parallel parking even though ive never practiced it
>passed with flying colors.

not bad

My test was ridiculously easy
>only parking test is picking a parking space on an EMPTY parking lot and forward parking into it
>Didn't have to emergency brake
>went 70kmh on a 50 street
>Still passed

How do you removed those dealership stickers?

>21 years old
>First test (never cared for my license until I needed it)
>Uptight white dude examiner
>Chill as fuck Suriname fatboi that loves bbq and fishing for instructor
>Drive goes fine
>Parallel park, aced it
>Try to leave parking spot, get "too close" according to examiner, he hits the brakes.
>Tells me it's a fail because he "had to step in"
>Argue with him, he's bullshitting
>Instructor agrees with me
>Step out to check the distance
>Good 45cm, dude's obviously wrong
>Examiner says I failed and to return to the exam location
>Quickly get in car, lock doors
>Drive off, leave examiner flabbergasted on the streets
>Instructor's fw
>mfw

>2nd try
>Instructor with me again, shooting shit
>Examiner older white guy, seen some shit, pretty chill
>Do pretty well
>Almost had accident, not my fault and I avoided properly.
>Examiner compliments my reaction time
>Aced.

Did my test after only having drove on a farm in a broken Ute that had no handbrake.
I just rode the clutch when taking off uphill
Examiner asked how the fuck I did that, started talking shit about country lyf.
She was a country gal back in her day etc etc.
Didn't even do any more testing, just went and got mcflurries through the drivethru.
Passed.
>Mfw.

>first test
>Asian qt doing her first ever exam
>seems like she can barely speak english
>very shy
>try to chat her up a bit
>just stares at her knees the whole time blushing
>only lost points on hillstart cause I was shit at it and just launched hard to compensate
Got my license with only 3 one hour lessons.

How'd you get a picture of my civic

first test (written)
>be me
>dad takes me to "surprise" on 16th birthday
>drivers test center
>tells me to go write test
>write test
>39/40
>gg

second test (city driving)
>be me
>waiting for test
>asian lady comes to car
>fuck
>do pre test checks (honk horn, flash high beams, turn signals, brake lights)
>ok user, we're going around the block today, do you have any questions
>nope
>ok lets begin
>head towards the south exit, and then turn left
>ok
>make left turn, no probs
>road becomes piece of shit, driving 50 km/h is too bumpy for my car, bouncing all over the place
>slow down to 35 km/h, much more comfortable and traffic behind me not getting close either, seems good
>user, you're going TOO SLOW, speed up
>bitch marks off "too slow" on yellow page
>at left turn in intersection
>waiting 1 minute for all cars to pass on busy ass road
>move forward and begin my left turn
>midway through turn fucking 3 asian kids and their mom and grand mother decide to cross the road on a "do not walk" sign
>mfw i hit the brakes
>"user, what are you doing? why did you enter the intersection?"
>bitch, the light turned orange and i have to clear the intersection, these fuck bags walked on a do not cross what the fuck was i supposed to do, wait here and get hit?
>user, please pull over
>wtf
>user, please get out of the car and walk to the front of the car
>wtf
>bitch gets INTO MY CAR, and then tells me to get in passenger seat
>user, you've failed your test. we are returning to the test center

second test (city driving) take 2 (2 weeks later - in another city)
>be me
>waiting in parking lot
>thicc white girl walks up
>super chill, dont even do pre test check
>so user do you have any music?
>sure
>puts on eminem, when im gone
>cool, my boyfriend loves eminem
>shiggy
>drive through test
>10/10 everything, pass with flying colors, no mistakes
>great job user, was this your first test? you did great
>nah, second time, some bitch failed me last time

cont

>oh, well i don't see why she failed you, it seems like you've been driving for a decade, you had no problems with any part of the test
>thank you m'lady

third test (city/highway driving)
>be me
>be practicing before test
>in a corner
>steering goes dead
>car stops moving
>steering wheel is locked left in the middle of a turn
>WTF POWER STEERING PUMP DEAD?!
>25 mins before test
>call dad
>dad, the cars dead, what do i do, they gonna take my money and ill have to wait 2 weeks
>dad rushes over from work, with a rental car
>kia fucking rio hatchback
>FUCK NO DAD, THIS THING WILL KILL ME ON THE HIGHWAY
>just do it
>get in car, 5 minutes to test, no time to even take 1 spin
>instructor comes to parking spot
>user, i saw you in a different car earlier, whats up?
>uh my cars power steering pump just failed so my dad rushed over in this rental
>are you sure you can drive this?
>ya don't worry about it, i'll be fine
>mfw
>ok, lets begin
>test going smooth, parallel parking is a breeze, reverse parking no prob
>ok user lets go to the highway
>ok
>on highway on ramp, begin to merge
>FOOT TO THE FLOOR, barely reaching 90 km/h (55 mph or so)
>manage to merge in front of a semi truck without getting honked at for going so slow
>ok user can you do a lane change to the left, then back to the right
>ok no prob
>do them
>ok user your driving is great, lets exit
>wew
>lad
>exit, drive back to drive center
>ok user you passed with no errors
>WEW
>great job, i cant believe you've never driven this car before, you're a great driver user
>thank you mam

First test:
>Just aced the writing exam
>been preparing for a couple of weeks
>nervous as fuck
>Instructor arrives, a 30-something chad
>Begin driving, for some reason I start going faster than usual
>"Ok turn a left in the next intersection"
>3 lane road, I'm on the right-most
>I go blank and simply follow straight until we're right at the intersection
>"user what are you doing, I told you left, go left in the next interse-"
>I immediately turn left from the right most lane, by some miracle I don't hit anything.
>We get back to the testing center
>"You are obviously nervous, you failed. Even if you didn't do that turn at the intersection you didn't even ask me to put on my seatbelt"
Second test:
>No longer feel nervous
>50 something really chill dude
>"I have some time today, so we'll do the long run"
>Oh boy
>Drive for about 30 minutes, no problems whatsoever except at the start where my car stalled (The test is with a manual)
>Come back
>You did pretty good, come get your license in an hour

I still hate myself for getting nervous over trivial shit.

You must be from Michigan, they're test has got to be fucking easy. So many shit drivers

>be learner doing test for P plates
>all the other learners at main roads have either driving school rentals or clapped out pieces of shit
>mfw my car is pristine
also turns out that everyone failed but me lmao

Rear view cams definitely help, no matter what the fuck you're driving. Only idiots say they're not helpful.

>Road trip to SF in a minivan
>Can't find anywhere to park
>find a spot, but need to parallel
>again, I'm at SF

>a long time ago in a land far far away
>be me
>be 19
>everyone i know got their license after taking drivers ed.
>yeah, no, fuck drivers ed
>I've driven autos maunal's before and I'm decent, not a complete tard
>mfw people i know still failed after taking drivers ed
>laughingsnorks.png
>go to take the 2 part test at DMV (Massachusetts of all fucking states)
>pass test with 80-90 or whatever i dunno it was a long fucking time ago, point is i passed
>go out to take driving test when name/number called
>6 foot + state trooper is my instructor
>fuckmylife.tiff
>nervous as shit, almost physically shaking type nervous (spaghetti)
>immediately forget seatbelts are a thing hurrrrrrrrr
>ok here we go imma fuckin fail because of dumb simple shit
>next step check mirrors and shit, k good
>test car parked against curb, another test car parked in front of me
>"make a left out of this parking spot and check your mirrors"
>check my mirrors and physically turn head to see if any cars are coming/pedestrians walking into dmv
>foot comes off the brake enough to let the car roll
>trooper stomps on the pedal so i dont ram into the parked car in front of us, stares at me.
>FUCK
>forgot to adjust seat because nervous as fuck
>it's not so bad, too late now, fuck it
>double check everything again and pull out slowly
>driven a few cars before , manual and auto
>let the steering wheel return to about center before re-adjusting
>paying attention to everything. driving fairly well but i'm still nervous as shit
>trooper is actually cool and sees that i'm nervous
>"whats wrong"
>tell him i'm nervous because this is a test
>"just pretend i'm not here, everything will be fine"
>okay.avi
>keep going up the city streets to the intersection
>"get in the left lane"
>turn on blinker, check mirrors, quickly glance over shoulder to check
>everything is going well so far
>keep removing my hands from 10 and 2
"put both hands on the wheel"
>he has told me this 2 times now
>FUCK - imma fail

1/2

2/2

>drive a few more blocks - "take a right hand turn here"
>pulling up to intersection, put on blinker to get in right lane and signal i'm turning right.check mirrors before switching lanes
>stop at stop sign - can turn on red when no traffic coming
>asked him just to make sure
>"yep"
>just as i'm about to go a car comes over the small hill and is obviously speeding
>trooper writes down his plate # - I giggle a little bit
>"one day that may be you"
>talking about normal stuff, trooper was actually bretty cool.
>return to dvm, park in same spot
>you're not gonna make me parallel park?
>"nope"
>at this point I'm thinking FUCK I FAILED
>ask him "did I pass?"
>kind of smirks a little
>"go inside and wait to receive your results"
>wait for about 20-30 mins? which felt like an eternity
>finally get results
>FUCKIN PASSED

obviously pleased as shit with myself
apparently mass drivers really really are fucking horrible

this was over 15+ years ago, I've been in 0 accidents.
thanks for taking the trip down memory lane with me

TL;DR
really helps to have at least SOME experience with driving before taking the test.
get some wheel time in before taking test
listen to your god damn instructor and pay attention to what you are doing.
and try to relax a bit.

Never will forget that day
>Wake up 5AM
>Angsty Autist 16 yr old me
>Get to DMV
>Chill as fuck Nig instructor
>Do the basic pre test shit
>Get onto road
> A little nervous, I wanted to pass really bad. Been waiting all my life for that day.
>5 minutes in
>Accidentally Cut Someone Off
>Almost run a red light
>Hard brake at a stop sign
>Forget to signal
>IamNotGonnaPassThisTest.wav
>Driving down a main road
>Shift into 3rd gear really quick, accidentally turn radio on
>ohfuckwhynow.tif
>Radio blasting G Unit - I'm so Hood
>"I'm so sorry, my hand slipped" as I go to turn it off
>Instructor looks to me, "Nah, I love G Unit, bump this shit"
>Get back to DMV
>"Yeah user, you got it down. Just work on your braking and indicating. Take this paper inside and they'll give you your license."

Me passing that test was entirely due to G-Unit.

>normally have to drive 20 minutes city, 10 minutes highway
>get into car
>pull out of parking lot
>tester says he's hungry
>5 minutes later pull into coffee shop parking lot
>we grab a coffee and something to eat
>second student drives back 30 minutes later
>pass with prefect score

I had a very fat insturctor, he wasnt wearing a seatbelt and I thought he was trying to trick me, but he showed me that he just couldnt fit.
Also lucky for me it started snowing, he made me drive back and just passed me without having to park or anything.