ITT: Shit Normies Say

Looks.

poor guy is too embarrassed to just leave it at toyota

The word "normies"

>where is your air conditioning?
>why is the stereo in the glovebox?
>what are all those switches you are flicking on and off before you start your car?
>why is the clutch so heavy?
>it's too loud in here?
>why does it smell like gas?
>why is the wheel so hard to turn?
>why are the brakes so hard to press down?
>why didn't you buy an automatic?
>what is that howling sound?
>where are the cupholders?
>why don't the seatbelts go over my shoulder?
>stop accelerating so fast, don't spin out the tires?
>don't rev your engine at people?
>it's so bouncy in here?
>springs in the seat are pinching me?
>why don't have power windows?
>why is there beef jerky in the center console?
>crank windows?
>don't you want something more fuel efficent?
>why do you bother cleaning your undercarriage when no one sees it?
>why can't I adjust the seat?
>why do you keep it so clean when it's just going to get dirty anyway?

Fucking normies.

>why do you keep it so clean when it's just going to get dirty anyway?

this response gives me aids.
t. clean my car biweeky

Used to work in a factory with an equal mix of men and women running the gamut from complete idiots to pretty brilliant people.
>how do you get into that?
>doesn't it use too much gas?
>how much did that cost?
>how much have you wasted on that thing?
>why don't you drive a civic?
>how can you afford that? (as they smoke their cigarette)
>how can you pay somebody to work on that?
>you work on that yourself!?
Got a lucky break and work a job now where we all get paid well and everybody's intelligent
>Sweet Jeep, what's next for it?

>it has a transmission super charger
>points at circular casting mark on trans with fins on it

>pic related

>intelligent
>jeep owner

Where they belong. Let the 5S go home too, user. Set it free.

Fucking posers

>It's 17 years old, it'll break down all the time! Get a new (boring uninspiring FF shitbox) instead!

>I only replaced the clutch twice this year

What kind of car do you drive?
>I dunno, something japanese LOL
>Hyundai

>Why didn't you buy an automatic?
>Why do you wash your car by hand? Just take it to an automatic car wash LOL
>Why do you change your own oil, just take it to Speed Lube it only costs like $50 and they can tell you when your air filter needs replaced!

whenever someone asks why I was by hand I just say "Well it costs less and it has been scientifically proven that washing your car for 10 minutes can equal to the same as 30 minutes in the gym." (I know it isn't true, but nobody will actually be bothered to research my bullshit)

>min wage, unstable hours'
>80s hondabox
>user that car is too old buy a brand new corolla

>unironically advising someone to commit financial suicide

Well, he's right you know.

>Jee, I really gotta get a new car! This thing's check engine light is on all the time!
REEE then why don't you just CHECK THE ENGINE?

>I drive a nissan ford titan.. or something

this is painful but
>best friend buys a 2009 corolla
>loves it, loves the hell out of it
>starts sinking money into it: xenon headlights and headlight washers, xenon foglamps, bodykit, painting the kit to match the body, spoiler, android console with satnav on the way
>he had a go to guy to do all this shit for him, the cunt tried screwing him out of some money but got them back

the worst part of it? whenever he was at the shop having shit put on the car he'd text me and post on facebook, and i shit you not:
"working on it"
>working on it
>WORKING
>by sitting on the side and watching some guy do it

i don't have the strength to let him know what a moron he is

>why is there beef jerky in the center console?
kek'd

>i don't have the strength to let him know what a moron he is
start with the basics, remove him on facebook

???
I think he meant never shift at redline, not like don't redline it every time you're going from a to b.

>My girlfriend owns a Legacy
"I think Subaru is the only Australian car maker."

Our relationship has been strained ever since.

as his best friend, I would have told him that he's an idiot

>headlight washers
Uh, what?

...

>fiddles with hood release for 15 minutes
>stares at engine bewildered for 10 minutes
>"welp, guess it needs an oil change"
>tops up coolant reservoir with washer fluid

I think so too. Granted, he's probably one of those people who never takes their car past 3k rpm

at least girls have a free pass to not knowing shit about cars

"my dream car is totally a GTR"
This it the most basic bitch statement in existence, it's a nice car but there is so much choice out there to choose an awd automatic

Kek but why is that something people say? I believed that as a kid

The bolts that hold in his headlights don't support them fullly, so he put washers behind them for a better mount

>Rims.

>I don't have a car, I'm a grown adult who rides a bicycle to work

>frogposting
Fucking normalfags

A few of these is just your autism showing.

because they make a car called the Outback

The stars in the Subaru logo look vaguely like the stars on the Australian flag (one big star with five small stars to the right of it)

I think because of the badge looks a lot like the australian stars?

the only time you should go to the red line is if it will take longer to change gears than it will to just red line it.
make less power at the red line.

...

2bh I don't know what my phone is. I think it's an iPhone 5s but it could be a 5.

My dad thought pistons and cylinders were the same thing and that front engine cars could only be front wheel drive.

>but the average person goes through life completely unaware of what's going on around them

we call those people, retards.

>your dad drives a rotary porsche

alt
>GM moves the F-body to the fwd GM80 platform to compete with the forthcoming Probe/DSM Eclipse
>Toyota imports the FWD Camaro as the Toyota Camaro

>I don't need a car I just borrow friends/family/parents car!
I wonder if they realize not everybody likes handing their financial investment into someone else's hand. I find it annoying considering the chances of magical scratches and dents suddenly appearing increase 100% when someone borrows your shit.

It was because Subaru used Crocodile Dundee to advertise the Outback in the 90's.

>my crossover is pretty quick
>my favorite car is Ferrari, which one? I thought it was just one car?
>corvette? But arent American cars slow?
>why do you like old Japanese cars?
>Lexus is my favorite American brand
>why would someone turn off the traction control?
>I drove 90mph once!
>the new KIAs look nice
>police cars have special fast engines in them

I feel sick

oi its because its got more mpg than an explorer mate, now scuse’ me while I go back to hunting roos.

>it's a good car! it just makes this weird clunking noise sometimes but it starts fine

"I put in a tank of premium gas and octane booster in my corvette to make it go faster"

that happens in mine because the lower control arm bushings have been completely gone for 8 months :^)

And they had crocodile dundee in their commercials at one point.

no they don't, that view suggests you may have mild autism though

At least they're right about American cars

>rotary rear engine rear wheeldrive

That would be pretty fucking sweet tho

>>police cars have special fast engines in them
Well, not entirely wrong tho. They have a little more power than stocks.

Normie friend shows me his jeep tells me its a v6. I tell him its clearly an inline 6. He tells me engines are always in V configuration. i stumble off with pain as he cant see the engine clearly doesnt have two banks of cylinders

I was giving a cute girl a ride home and we got into a conversation about car problems. I told her the only problem my car has is that I just putt a new bulb in the front right headlight and it still won’t work. I suggest a wiring issue, she tells me to check the spark plug....

thats adorable. id have her give me a bj for the ride.

Hey i'm pretty new to wanting to get better at driving stick, (i've always driven one, but was more normie about it before), and I wonder what my traction control does. Should i just turn it off every time i drive (it turns back on every time car is turned back on)?

Transmission and TC/Elec Aids have nothing to do with each other.

Traction control does nothing. On some cars it limits the engine torque at peak power to prevent wheel spin. Otherwise i say just leave it on unless you have a mustang and theres a crowd

yea this is what i was thinking. I have always felt like my mazda3 lags at shifting compared to my 86 MT-5.

>work at grocery store
>woman has older bmw diamond key
>you drive a bmw? which model?
>oh uh... i think it's like a 3 or a 5 series or something... oh maybe the x3

jesus christ you just described my best friend

>97 civic hatch
>base model automatic
>constantly buys ebay body kits/wings
>buys flashlights that display the honda logo on the ground when he opens the doors
>led disks to go in the cupholders
>MAGNAFLOW
>his current wing is unpainted and looks like a literal tech deck ramp

the worst part
>every time he gets this stupid shit he constantly posts pictures of his hands that are slightly dirty with captions like "car life" "working man" on snapchat

I really hate talking about cars with him because he thinks he knows a lot about cars because of the stupid amount of forza he plays.