Boss tries to make small talk when you're at the urinals

>boss tries to make small talk when you're at the urinals

I always pray there's no one at the urinals. Trickiest part of the day is to wee desu

>he uses the urinal
>he stands up to pee

I no longer use the urinal. I always take the stalls now because I get nervous when people try to talk to me at the urinal. The downside to that is that I think people really do think that I sit down to pee even though I don't.

i'm pee shy at work (work in office building) and it sux. does anyone know a way of fixing this

Okay don't complain if this doesn't work, but you should smear poo on the wall in the toilet. I did this myself and now I'm not nervous when I go anymore. Every week I smear plenty of poo on the wall with my hand (I've even adjusted my dietary habits to create soft spreadable poops every Monday). Now nobody bothers me with small talk in the washroom or anything and I've been feeling a lot more confident.

do i smear it inside the bathroom stall or the more public walls where the urinals are located? the problem isnt that people start small talk its just their presence alone.

I always just go into a stall since there are only two urinals and one is for fucking midgets or something, then make an off handed comment like "I'm to tall for that thing hurr".

I smear it on the inside of the bathroom stall because I fear being caught. I was almost caught one time by the boss after I had just smeared the stall wall and was making my way to the sinks when I saw the restroom door begin to open. I quickly dived back into the stall before he could catch me. I think he suspected something because in my panic I grabbed the outside of the door with my poopy hand and left a skid mark. I think he may have noticed that the stall with the poop smear was occupied.

I am glad to work at a firm where most men recognize this is big ol faux pas

What's wrong with that?

I pee once a day, in the morning. That's it.
You never have this problem when all you ever do in a public bathroom is pinch a loaf.

>mfw I go down 9 floors to use a disabled toilet so I can avoid this

There's always that one guy though.
There's a fuck named Joe at my workplace and this fucking autist genuinely thinks talking about business is cool, like it gives him a Wall Street douchebag vibe. I don't know how these guys get past the interviewers.

If you cant pee, because you worry someone might come in, just start whistling. I dont mean songs but just a single whistle as long as you can. Thats how i do it on xtc.

I remember when I was a young executive for this company. I used to call the old man funny names - Iron Butt, Boner. Once I even called him Asshole - but there was always respect. I always knew where the line was drawn, and you just stepped over it, buddy-boy.

I'll give this a goo

Pick a letter and try to name as many things starting with that letter as you can before you pee. Works a treat

I went to a psychologist once and we talking about this. He asked me to fill a little bottle with water and pretend to pee with it hidden in my pants. I told him I wasn't a degenerate and he got angry. I'm not sure how pretending to pee with water would fix this, but you could try it.

I think about someone I hate and imagine that i am pissing in his/her/zis mouth. Works great 4 me (tm)

i work in a small office and there is a door chime whenever someone opens the front door (which you need to open to get to the bathroom). i never go if i've heard the door chime within the last couple of minutes. i can also see the break room from my office and i make sure the coast is clear if i'm going to go refill my water or grab something out of the fridge.

>Purposely piss in the loudest spots to show dominance.

Not piss shy, but im very shit shy. I need total quiet and about 10 minutes for the optimal poo.

WTF, you're all autistic.

Youre on Veeky Forums. Everyone here has mental problems

I can absolutely pee while someone is talking to me, I just realize it is completely uncouth

if it's really important you're supposed to wait until you're both at the sinks washing hands, like in the movies

"Hey John, isn't that the guy that whistles really loudly in the bathroom? What the fuck is up with that?"

"I dunno Steve, I think he's probably retarded."

>tfw you drink tons of water at work and take a bathroom break every 15 minutes

Pay me to pee boss
PAY ME TO PEE