See nice car parked far away from other cars in lot so it's less at risk of dings

Like I care, have fun crawling into the driver seat from the other side. And hope I don't recognize your car in the future.

Ive been looking for a resson to use one of these.

>I pay a dude to follow my car around
no wonder u cant afford a better car lmao

I do that cause I'm too lazy to park in between cars

But the next fucking time I see someone open their door and hit my car

I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT SO MUCH YOU WOULD NOT BELIVE THE TIMES THESE DICKSNOTS PARK NEXT TO MY CAR AND LEAVE LIGHT CLEAR COAT SCRATCHES

>2016
>go to home depot
>park far away from others
>faggot in his lifted f-150 park next to me just 5 mins later
>want to go back and move my car elsewhere but i just said fuck it and ignored it
>spend a good 20 minutes in the store shopping for plywood and other shit you don't really care about
>on my way out to my car, i noticed a big fucking dent in my bumper and a scuff mark on my driver side door
>get fucking fumed and drove home in fury never knowing where that fucker in his lifted shitmobile scurried off to, thus i'm unable to report him because i didn't get his plate number

People who do this shit is the lowest of the low in my book. Literally the mouthbreathers of the automotive world.

>pours sand/saltwater mix into OP's gas tank
>go back to store and wait

>park diagonally to discourage people from parking right next to you
>everyone else parks diagonally right next to you

Jesus fuck red alert

>Park a space away from a nicer car
>Still get keyed

Some guy in work has started parking his Fiesta ST next to my Fiesta ST.

I'm okay with this.

I try to park next to nicer cars to protect them because I know some asshole in their shitbox will try it and not care if they scratch the paint.

You're helping them out, if you really think about it.

I carry a bottle of airplane paint remover for this purpose

Someone did this when I had a Mazda3, it was just a shitbox.

I parked far out in the mall parking lots because who wants dents.

Some faggot in a blacked out Charger thought it would be funny to park right next to me, leaving like 10 inches between the doors. I had to get in my passenger side.

Oh and I put my window down afterwards and keyed the fuck out of his shiny paint. Nice thing about the end of the mall parking lot: no cameras :^)

Old Windex bottle with brake fluid in my trunk. I've used it on several occasions.

Some shitbird did that to me in college, but he got there like 30 seconds after I did. I just walked back to my car and moved it, he saw me do it too. He just stood on the staircase into the health sciences building and watched me.
He was in my class too, fucking snapback faggot fuck, don't park your shitty Civic next to me.

>Be me
>Killing time at a bar
>Time to leave
>Local drunk bitch always leaves her purse dog in car with windows rolled up
>It's mid-august in Arkansas, 100F+ heat index 80% humidity
>He looks at me with thirst in his helpless doggo eye's
>My car was powerful but meh-teir exterior paint
>Intentional door jam the fuck out of her passenger front
>Casually pull out of parking lot
>Cannot resist grabbing rubber through first three gears

Am I a bad person Veeky Forums?

subhuman vermin

Why don't you just fucking walk the whole way if you're going to park that far away? Do you need to pop a xanax every time a bird shits on your car?

>walk 7 miles to the local home depot

yeah, haha nah.

>Do you need to pop a xanax every time a bird shits on your car?

at least bird shit is easy to fucking get rid of, not like a god damn dent.

>people parking close to my shitbox
>intentionally slam the door open as hard as can to ruin the other car because I have nothing to lose
Who here /devilish/?

Making up stories isn't my cup of tea, desu senpai senpai.

Why would I lie? I have nothing to lose. Just don't park so close to me and we won't have a problem.

You could have smashed the window for the doggo

mfw I dragged a key across a BMW sub whatever because it took up 2 spots far away.

>college, but he got there like 30 seconds after I did. I just walked back to my car and moved it, he saw me do it too. He just stood on the staircase into the health sciences building and watched me.
>He was in my class too, fucking snapback faggo

Check out this hot head! Lol I are college and are non into talk but teh car I wuz gibed gotted the scratch!

>see newer looking white genesis parked diagonally on two spaces near front of lot at work
>park parallel right next to it in my '06 scratched up red solara

>being able to access my gas tank

Can only be opened from inside

>park car away from everyone else
>come back to same make and model parked next to me
It's the little things in life that make me laugh.

>Parking like assholes just because
>Key cars just because

I knew Veeky Forums was full of fucking retards holy shit i hope you all die horribly in a car accident.

Yes. You should have busted the doggo out and pissed in the owners car.

>empty parking lot apart from one car
>driver inside the car
>park next to it at high speed

>park away from everyone else
>it's night so no one can really see how shit the paint is on my car
>some Veeky Forumstist parks next to me
>"""accidentally""" open my door 4 or 5 times, hitting their car every time

Parking at the very back of a huge parking lot like a home depot adds literally 40 seconds of walking time overall. Why would you spend minutes circling the lot trying to save yourself 50 feet of walking when you could just park in the comfort of the back spaces?

Do you weigh 600lbs?

>purse dog
>'dog'
?

I’m not usually bothered by people sitting on my ass but this morning...

>dude in an Acura pulls up a foot from my bumper out of nowhere
>already going 55 in a 45 (4 lane rd, 2 lanes going each way)
>some ford ranger going like 40 ahead of me
>pull up next to him and match his speed so Acura dickhead is forced to sit behind us
>sitting there next to the ranger at 40mph for about 10 min before the Acura finally gets on the shoulder and floors it past
>is still forced to stop at every red light with us for the rest of the drive

He could’ve passed before I got to the ranger but instead felt the need to sit right behind me so fuck him

>ameriga :DDD

>Pretending to be a do-gooder officer
You're a fucking retard, don't block other people on the road

this

this

you're not a fucking cop stop acting like it

At least someone with common sense
You fuckers only deserve shit in your life

If he’s being a dickhead, why can’t I be petty?

Rich roasties keep small dogs like teacup Yorkies in their purse and walk around with them in America

Seen it with my own eyes

Because him being a dickhead affects you.

You being petty affects him and all the other drivers behind him, since some faggot not using the left lane for passing causes a buildup of traffic.

If you want to be petty just adjust your wiper spray so that it arcs over and behind your car and hits the windshield of the guy behind you. Fill it with paint stripper if you have a shitbox so by the time they get home they're already fucked.

I was about to post something like this but you're probably less fucked in home depot or hardware stores by just parking in the front. People in general will at least try not to hit you, but they can completely smash you with the trailer they're carrying along in the back and they won't even know. Back of the parking lot is trailer city.

I do this but I just want to park next to cool cars, im really careful about it too
Im sorry

Anyone who drives a truck, let alone lifted, is bound to be retarded.

>have nice car
>park next to another nice car knowing my car won't get dinged

Its like herd immunity

No one actually does this though.

quality shitpost