So one day I suddenly developed illusions of grandeur and saw myself wearing a dress shirt and slacks...

So one day I suddenly developed illusions of grandeur and saw myself wearing a dress shirt and slacks, sitting at a computer in a fancy home office and trading stocks online. Holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a 30-lb dumbbell in the other, doing some half ass curls while laughing manically at how much money I was making. So I decided to look into stock trading, but the thing is I'm actually a college drop out and have less than $1,000 capital to invest with. I am completely lost. Anyone have any advice on where to begin?

No, you must fail so I may succeed.

you can begin at r9k

I said I was a college drop out, not a dweeb

>illusions of grandeur

I could tell you were a college dropout before i read any further than that.

You're in over your head kiddo. It takes many years of experience and a lot of money t9 be a successful trader. Good news is that you can trade with fake money until you get the hang of it.

>Anyone have any advice on where to begin?
start with 5lb dumbbell and build it up gradually.

Congrats. That means nothing to me. Fuck off.

I don't buy it. Everyone starts somewhere and I know this is Veeky Forums but someone has to have some sound advice besides "trade with fake money"

Get the fuck outta my face with that shit.

well dude trading and casinos have something in common: they are not zero sum games, there is a house edge. making anyone playing the game a sucker. no matter how good you think you are or dream about how good you can be. the house wins. you lose. end of story.

Those simulated trading apps are useless lmao. Bad advice.

u will never mean anything in this world faggot

It's "delusions of grandeur" read a book

Why stocks? Crypto is so much easier to make money, the barrier of entry is way lower and you're not competing with huge banks and hedgefunds.

Get a job until you save up at least 20 Grand that you wouldn't be fucked if you lost.

Who do you imagine is the house in stock trading? I'm curious.

Nice projection bro, are you echoing your father's words?

Crypto?

The brokers taking commissions are the house. Like how the house rakes a poker pot. Even if you buy and sell at the same price, you'll lose due to commissions.

Underrated post.

Cryptocurrency

brokerages / exchanges are the only one that is sure to make money on trading.

You forget that OP dropped out of college with only $1,000 to his name yet will undoubtedly become a millionaire buying stocks despite his lack of education, experience, and basic knowledge of the field of finance! Don't be so silly!