/srg/ - Speedrunning General

Excuse me?

twitch is fucked for a majority of people right now
but thanks

Josh,
Quit bein a thugged-out dramatic dingus. I never holla'd "don't git all up in AGDQ" n' I never tried ta stop yo thugged-out ass. What I tried ta do was stop you from goin ta a gangbangin' funk gamin event wit a funky-ass bunch of nerdz n' treatin dem like rock stars. Cosmo don't want a gift from yo thugged-out ass. Well shiiiit, it will make his ass feel uncomfortable fo' tha whole event. Of course, these is mah lyrics, not his.
I twizzled you, not outta malice yo, but outta concern, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass is goin ta fuck wit yo ass if you do all dis bullshit. Yo ass might not regret it immediately, or even by tha end of tha marathon yo, but up in time yo big-ass booty is ghon n' you gonna KNOW why playas tried ta rap you outta dis insanity. Realize dat I was not tha only one callin you a Cosmo fanboy n' bobbin they headz up in disbelief at yo' tweets, I was just tha straight-up original gangsta thug ta come forward n' try ta say something.
Go ta AGDQ n' gotz a phat time. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sit up in tha stream room n' peep runs. Hook up people, play vizzle games. Don't cook up a scene, act like a weak-kneed fangirl or awkwardly sit up in tha back room all week long. Just go there n' act like a aiiight human being.
If you gangbang Cosmoz nuts any harder you goin ta make shizzle dat Adrian takes a thugged-out dirt nap without lil' thugs.
-SkeletonBizzle

...

even after all this time, goldphnx is still a joke of a speedrunner and a complete shitter

just like skeletonbill, haha!

>cosmo does not want attention
how deluded can you be?

>yfw Josh choked out Cosmo's balls, reducing his testosterone generation, leading to his current predicament
>yfw Adrian ended up taking a thugged-out dirt nap without lil' thugs

Poetic

We (the SERG shadow government) told you not to make a new thread!

a BULLET in the HEADcrab

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Why does noone ever talk about this grind monkey?

[distant bird laughter heard high above it all]

Didn't bop Ion (more like cryon, LOL).

twitter.com/authorblues/status/877223748050571264

lmao

It's still the best speedgame and that's what really matters.

It's also the hardest speedgame excluding shitty fake games like Kamilia 3 and non-speedruns like JRPGs.

Super Mario Sunshine is the best.

five minute unskippable intro

...

Wrong.

Nice argument. I'm guessing this is the mental state of those who nuthug SM64, though.
Do you not like story, user? Do you have ADH
GDQ?
Wrong.

That looks so fucking slow and the camera is even worse than SM64.

that's unoptimized and slow as fuck lmao

You mean the camera that had archaic , button-dependent controls?
Nice description of the SM64 webm.

why's this place so bad

the obsessed freak and the obsessed freak obsessed freak

.

Narcissa-tier commentary

>that super metroid race

he sets himself for failure so easily

So when are we breaking clintstevens hands?

Will ESA be doing that retarded two stream thing again this year?

The God Gamer Stigma

>3 players have 4:56
>none of them are blubbler
LOL!

The Zero Time Dilemma

randomizers are actually pretty fun desu

i see schedule 1 and schedule 2 on their website

How do we fix Noir? I'm watching his stream and I feel sad looking at him ;-;

He's on anti-psychotics, that's why he looks like a zombie.

twitter.com/Bounceyboyy/status/884767066938626048
this has to be the most ironic tweet I've read all year

[distant bird laughter heard high above it all]

who is we?

why did you delete?

thanks for the late responses!

...

...

why does sig still deny these photos?

why didn't you sage?

eww but i would stillfuck siglemic

Narci cute.

>i'm making my own gdq but better!
Is Sig a girl???

why didn't you sage?

>mfw didnt watch sgdq this year
Feels good not breathing shit for a while.
Was there any run worth watching or im good?

define worth watching, deformed frog-man

Easter speedster 2 hoip

That's not him though??

why did you delete?

hol up

tphd is maxxx comfy

>retarded
Shut up dumbass that waa the best part

thanks for the late response!

His name is Apustaja.

why didn't you sage?

(the SERG shadow government)

thanks for the late responses!

...

kill yourselves.

why?

cosmo is so depressed today lmao

I have no account unbanned here and it's now 24h follow before you can chat so if someone wants to bully a bit for me

don't be rude

>The year is 2351
>Squid still has a high 52

come one he's crying needs the nail on the coffin now

When will the real king of speed return to his throne?

>sig is so passive and shy he didn't even go 1st base
>all he has now is his virginity and awkward selfies

story of my life

...

[distant bird laughter heard high above it all]

>49 by 2018
lmao

more like high 52 for the rest of time lmao

*mindlessly grinds ion's records 18 hours a day despite not being even remotely as skilled as he is*
*bird laughs*
*mindlessly grinds 70 star for 18 hours a day for years*
*hits the wall at a high 52 and gets exposed*
ME NO NEED PRACTICE!!!! MINDLESS GRIND 18 HOURS A DAY IS PRACTICE!!!!!! IF YOU NO GRIND 18 HOURS A DAY THEN YOU NO SPEEDRUNNER!!!!!!!!!! OOH AH! OOH AH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*bonobo howls*

Wait, if 51 is bad.. and squid can't even get 51... what does that make squid!?

When I was walking through the hotel halls during SGDQ, I saw puncayshun and some other people I didn't really recognize loitering in the hall. Puncay was using his phone and even though his back was against the wall, I could see one of those stupid monkey images and several (you)s in the responses below it. I was taken aback at first. I hadn't planned to say anything to him, but now I was curious. After a few moments, I overcame my nerves and hesitantly asked him something about whether he really thought that was funny (I don't remember the exact words I used). I don't remember his exact reply either, but I know he giggled for a few moments and said he "hardly ever posts there" and was "only being super-ironic". He went back to staring at his phone and I nodded slightly and went on my way. I don't expect any of you to believe me, but I just felt the need to get this off my chest.

a no skill grind monkey
>b-but his meaningless wrs in irrelevant memegames with no competition!
*bird laughs*

...

where are you getting these quotes from

grindxcucklet

I won't disclose my identity, but I was in a hotel room full of SM64 runners at AGDQ. One of them was playing the game and 7 of them (I won't give any names, but it was mostly high level IL speedrunners) were sitting on the beds with their phones and spouting monkey memes at each other while browsing Veeky Forums. At one point someone stormed into the room in a full gorilla suit and started screaming "ME GRIND 18 HOURS EVERY DAY OOH OOH AAH AAH" at the top of his lungs before he stormed outside again. I still don't know who was in that suit, but the entire room erupted in laughter and they all started mimicking monkey sounds. I asked the guy who was doing ILs at the time what was so funny and he started telling me about "this braindead grindmonkey who hit the wall at 52 called Squid". He and the others kept ranting about Squid for 20 minutes and would probably have continued for much longer, if I had stayed for longer. I was very flustered and surprised by this, so I just nervously laughed at it and agreed with them while making my exit plan. When I said I wanted to catch a run in the stream room, they wanted to invite me to their discord, but I said I was in a hurry and would come back later for that. I spent the rest of the week avoiding these obsessed freaks.

squid is such a joke lmao no wonder everyone hates him

you do realize you are replying to a joke post

>this weak attempt at damage control
*bird laughs*