Be me

>be me

>get into argument with roommate

>he gets really mad

>says he knows every pokemon I know (he doesn't )

>quizzes me with bulbapedia open

>get all of them right even in right gens and all the evolution stuff in addition to trivia

>he gets more mad


>takes my keys


>chase him

>throws them into the lake

>he gets in his car and drives off


>this.morning

>my British green miata is keyed

>he didn't respond to calls all day

>spending new years alone drinking


What he fuck do I do

Beat the living fuck out of your room mate pal

>>my British green miata is keyed
i think you left out the fact that he's more than just your roommate.

Call the cops, have a report filed against him for theft, destruction of property, vandalism, etc.

Call your landlord, give him the deep dongling.

Don't fuck with another man's car, and he wont reap what he sewed. simple.

I'm scared to do that because I like him so much.

I'm also weak. My only defense is the BP colt I ccw

pistolwhip him in the head.

jokes aside, you should be straight up with him, make sure you have your phone in your chest pocket if you have a button up, or on a table nearby and set it to record audio. Tell him you know he damaged your car, and that it was stupid, and that you just want him to own up and apologize.

Get him to admit it on recording, then hold it above him till he pays for damages. Else, you have a confession and you'll ruin his life.

You know what a baseball bat is, right?

Don't share your dildos with him and throw away the key to his dick cage when he using it.

Is your roommate 6 years old? For fuck's sake.

This.

Holy shit, please let this be a troll pasta because that literally sounds like an autistic meltdown.

bat-to?

Also OP here, can someone just give me advice?
but the thing is like
what if that ruins the thing we have going on?
i've had a perfect life up until now

Look, if you're actually gay for this dude then it's chill and we get it, and no one wants to ruin a relationship and stuff, but you need to really think about this.

Is it healthy for you to be around someone who will throw this huge of a tantrum over fucking pokemon? he threw your keys in a lake, and keyed your car up.

Not worth it to me man, not worth it at all.

No were not gay. We've even had girlfriends and shit.

I mean we have big arguments all the time, sometime I'll take my black powder colt and fire it over the lake weve vomited in eachothers hair and prank eachother naked and I know that all sounds dumb but we always watched out for our shit and then just pass the fuck out and giggling like kids again


It's been fucking fun and I hope you see now why I don't want to ruin a good thing . We've never fucked up personal properties before

Im not a physical person and neither is he

Were not paying rent or anything I just don't know how to figure this If I went to the cops his life would probably be ruined if they drug test hes probably not even sober now

Who the fuck cares man, I guarantee I have MUCH more life experience than you, and I can tell you that men are disposable. You make new friends. He made it very clear to you that you two are NOT friends. Now are you going to bend over like a little bitch or are you going to be a fucking man and take care of business?

I dunno man
We stay in the same room, it's a small 1 bedroom house by the lakeside.

What's wrong with how we are if we (were) happy

I'm scared to punish him because I like him a lot usually


Like we're good friends. This shit has neve rhappened before

What would you suggest I even do?

Sounds pretty gay

Then you need to just talk to him about it. I'd be like dude, this really isn't fucking cool, I thought you were my friend, but I don't appreciate you acting like this. I'd like an apology and for you to help pay for things, or else we're done being friends. Don't be a dick about it, just be straight forward with him and stand your ground on the stance.

I suggest you quit acting like a little bitch. You have two options: you either beat the fuck out of him (I know you're small or whatever, but you can get the jump on him, go for weak spots, etc) or you do what the other user suggested and get recording proof then go to the police. If you don't do either of those, it shows him that he can do whatever the fuck he wants to you. I don't think you understand. He is not your friend. Friends don't throw keys in lakes and key cars.

For starters don't get life advice from Veeky Forums.

The only solution now is to murder him in n64 stadium.

kalli delet

HAPPY NEW YEARS MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

that's pretty gay dude

just fucking shoot him and be done with it

>be op
>don’t want to do anything
>want attention on new years
>post on the wrong board
I’m as sissy fag boy as the next guy but shitpost in the proper place
Call the cops or kill him
He obviously isn’t a mature adult so you shouldent have him in your life
Yet you are too childish to understand that
“B-but everything was fine before this”
Welcome to life fuckass

>2real4me

called it in second post that OP is actually a fag.

the miata is always a dead giveaway.

Call lawyer get a restraining order.
Call cops claim vandalism press charges.
Find a new fuckboy.
Fuck him till your dick goes dry.

Just fuck already

Don't do anything stupid, you might anger him and make him throw away the keys to your chastity cage. Tell him you'll allow him to use your boipucci whenever he wants if he'll start treating you nicely, that'll work.

Every time I start to wonder if the "gay Miata" stereotype doesn't actually have much truth to it, something like this appears

you guys really don't have much experience detecting obvious low quality trolls

Post the car, then I will believe you. This looks extremely low quality bait to propagate the rumor that miata owners are gay faggots, and you all niggers fell for it. Miata owners arent gay

fucking fags keeping me away from buying a miata

That's gay