Open glovebox

it's not about cars but whatever
>hand cranked diesel single cylinder boat engine
>when cold it starts right away
>when warm it's impossible to start

>Ford DCT
Need I say more?

>live in Nordic country
>pay 3000+ dollars for drivers licens
>starv the next 4 months

JUST

>start car
>everything works the way it should.

>radio only works when headlights are on

I dont know how the previous owner managed to do this

>power steering is really heavy
>curb wheel like a fucking retard
>power steering works perfectly now

>use left turn signal
>dash lights blink with with it

>change oil
>only AM stations come through now

>driving on well lit roads for 6 miles
>turn off onto country lane
>lights flicker and die
>mfw

>I grounded my new speakers off the ignition coil
>my negative cable for the battery is all corroded because i used it as a cock ring
>quirks :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
>what is ohms law?

>press on brake going over 20 mph >does a 90 degree turn

>press clutch
>drops to floor and ABS warning light comes on

>car leaves puddle of power steering fluid in the driveway every night
>fluid level is never low

>open car door, sit down and start it
>anti theft alarm goes off
>open door and shut it again
>alarm stops

>Coolant is empty after a 5 seconds of being on
>Doesn't overheat

Spooky

>heat only works when radio is picking up FM stations above 105.1

>change gear
>check engine light comes on

>fill up fuel tank
>needle points towards E
>the more i drive the further towards F it goes

topkek

>remove rear headrests
>front windows fog up

>start car
>ding ding ding
>check engine warning
>ding ding ding
>check ABS warning
>ding ding ding
>check airbag warning
>ding ding ding
>check tire pressure sensor warning
>airbag and pressure sensor ding at me once every minute
FUCKING CHEVY

>press any button to continue
>press power button
>pc turns off

Wrong board, and forgot the lyrics.

>fuel range is 150km
>take an hour long drive
>fuel range is 156km

>fix one thing on car
>break something

why must shit break when im mending muh car??? its not fair reeeeee

>fuel gauge works
>fill it to full the first time
>needle rolls over backwards and snaps off

>close tailgate
>AC starts clicking

Does it have a choke?

I like to think it’s the ghost of Carroll Shelby keeping an eye on his old car.

>can't lock/unlock doors unless i'm in 3rd gear

>remove locking wheel nut
>sunroof opens

>unlock car
>car locks itself
t. toyota

>Drive friend's car
>Make left turn
>Horn hooks

>shift from 2nd to 3rd
>headlights die for a few seconds

ICE confirmed infinite range
EV cucks BTFO

>casually roam
>suddenly revs drop
>engine stops
>re-engage clutch, try to get it running again
>nope.png
>turn the key
>it works
>car drives like nothing happened
turned out that the injector wiring was old and the isolation had rotted away, effectively shorting out the whole injector system
>just Zeta things

>hit a pothole
>tps light comes on
>next morning light doesn’t appear
>tps light hasn’t come on again for months

>steer right
>car starts screeching like a chorus of tortured children
That's cool, going right is for fags anyway.

>turn on blower
>smell burning electrics
>vacuum and boost gauge stops working
>turn off blower
>vacuum and boost gauge still doesn't work

>turn key clockwise
>door unlocks
Wierdly Korean cars don't have this, looks like only Toyota/other Japs pull this shit.

>turn on ac
>engine stalls

>change inner and outer driver side tire rods
>all the lights have a subtle flicker to them when the car is running
>brand new alternator

>press clutch after driving in 5th gear
>hold clutch and downshift to first gear because a full stop is coming up ahead
>feel car slowing down more even though the clutch is still fully pressed

??

>hit redline
>bike pulls harder

> It's raining
> Turn on heater
> Doors unlock and lock
> Forever

Only happens when it rains. Probably the shit alarm installed by the previous owner.

>low coolant light comes on
>coolant reservoir is twice as full as before

>wash car
>car feels faster

>turn on AC
>all torque under 3k RPM gone

I just drift it in neutral to the light

>open hatchback
>sometimes it opens sometimes...*click* WWWRRRRRRRGRGRGRGRGRGRRRR and won’t open

>ABS light comes on during two hour drive to my family’s
>stays lit the whole time but still have ABS working
>get there
>use OBD2 scanner rear right wheel sensor bad
>check it, it’s all good and snug
>turn it back on
>.01 mile down the road it shuts off

My old car
>nothing running in car
>no radio
>no lights
>no AC
>engine stalls at idle
>turn on radio and AC, still stalls
>turn on driving lights, runs perfect even at idle

Everytime i turn left, my heater decides to go on a short trip to the sahara until i drive straight again...

>taking lady to dinner
>water pump blows
JUST

>park car
>go to grab something from the trunk
>burning smell

>close door
>whole car visibly shakes

>rev car
>burning smell

>engine light is on all the time
>shuts off randomly and my car starts to take a shit
>turns back on and everything is fine

>turn fan to highest setting
>headlights dim for a split second and then go back to normal

>turn on lights
>engine revs to 4k

That is weird. Usually you have to release the clutch for it to move.

Because temperature probes measure coolant heat, not heat heat. It probably read ok but you were actually overheating

That's normal. A car I used to own used a gel behind the gauge to keep the level when the car was off. It meant that when you filled up, it would take a few minutes for the needle to pass through the gel to F

>heavy rain
>windows fogging up
>turn on defrost does nothing
>burning plastic smell and smoke full the car

>shift gears
>part falls out of gear shift
>wheel starts smoking
>lose the part
>works fine next day

>slam drivers door
>trunk pops open
>slam trunk
>passanger door opens
>slam passanger door
>passanger window falls into the door.

No I had an old Kia Sportage that did this. It was basically a Ford-Mazda Bongo 3rd world market truck but it was definitely Kia that added the annoying shitty features.

>unlock doors
>exit vehicle, insert card into gas pump
>door locks automatically
>Keys still in the ignition.

I became a pro at jimmying open car doors after owning that piece of shit. Also the thing used both Imperial/US measurements AND metric.

>sometimes you can open the rear left door from the outside, sometimes you can't
>sometimes when you open the driver's side door the passenger one opens too

>flip the little pad under my rearview mirror
>car behind me dims its lights

I'm a fukken wizard

>change cv axle
> a month later get the same sound

im just gonna kms

inb4 you moneyshift it

>start car
>engine floods
>deflood engine
>battery dies
>hook up jump pack
>jump pack dies

>rev var to redline for the first time ever
>1.8l diesel all the way to 6k
>takes about 8 years to get up there
>bounce off rev limiter once
>let revs come down to 2.5k
>just as im about to upshift and return to normal driving i hear a loud horrible scraping metal on metal noise from the front
>it stops after a second or so
>everything is fine
>never rev car up again

what diesel demon did i anger?

Whatever, it's lease

Ford? I know their abs sensors can get weird and throw bogus codes or not throw a code when something's wrong. Mine kicks in when I slow down below 10mph and I have to put a decent amount of pressure on the brake for it to stop all the way

Fill-up coolant
Coolant comes out of glove box...

Mfw

>Burning smell coming from engine bay, smells like a dumpster fire
>Keep driving, goes away after 1-2 minutes
>Happens at least once every week
>>Really hard to keep blaming it on driving past something at this point

>van starts idling rough
>left side speakers start working again
>rough idle goes, music is fine

Thank you rough idle of tunes

>turn on heat
>Coffee machine sounds initiate

>hear constant grinding from engine bay
>Hoon the shit out of the car for a few weeks
>Never hear grinding again

You're damn right!

My RHD toyota has it both ways. If you use the driver's side it's clockwise to lock, but on the passenger's side it's anticlockwise.

>buying used miata
>car makes a brief grinding sound immediately after it's started
>use that fact to knock $1000 off the price
>eventually goes away on its own

To this day I have no idea what was causing the noise, it almost sounded like a botched gear change or something.

>$1000
Damn, my friend only dropped £500 for squeaky diffs when selling an eco 4

>hit speed bump
>traction control and abs lights come on
>hit a pot hole five minutes later
>both lights turn off

spurdo no

>drive a full throttle with heater on
>start to smell something burning
>slow down a bit
>smelling stops
>repeat for 700km