ITT: Veeky Forums humor

...

...

...

...

Who gets that upset about smoking while pumping gas? That's normal behavior.

...

Roasties I guess mate

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Well I'm out of Veeky Forums related stuff so I'll end with this

...

...

here boyz

Is this ad lying ?

>smokers are manchildren with no understanding of fire hazard
God forbid you ever have to take that burning dick out of your mouth

>Paris red-light district
Retarded burger

...

Hi there!

You seem to have made a bit of a mistake in your post. Luckily, the users of Veeky Forums are always willing to help you clear this problem right up! You appear to have used a tripcode when posting, but your identity has nothing at all to do with the conversation! Whoops! You should always remember to stop using your tripcode when the thread it was used for is gone, unless another one is started! Posting with a tripcode when it isn't necessary is poor form. You should always try to post anonymously, unless your identity is absolutely vital to the post that you're making!

Now, there's no need to thank me - I'm just doing my bait to help you get used to the anonymous image-board culture!

the chad refuel

The ever elusive skid demon, one day we shall meett again.

...

So clarkson wasn't memeing.

The Virgin Fuel Stop
vs
The Chad Fill Er Up

Virgin:
>makes sure to shut off engine before refueling
>goes inside to pay cash before touching the pump
>uses the correct octane level because he is afraid to deviate from the warning label
>never smokes on gas station property, or at all
>keeps hand on handle at all times when filling
>doesnt lock the flow handle into position
>stops when auto shutoff kicks off, never tops off
>always replaces the handle to its holster and asks for a receipt to put in his maintenance log
>checks his trip odometer and calculates his mileage, making sure to reset after every fueling
>cautiously looks for other drivers while exiting the premises

Chad:
>skids sideways up to the pump
>leaves engine running the whole time
>parks in front of the pump while he goes in and buys booze and cigarettes, making sure to never break eye contact with everyone at the same time
>lights one up while fueling, doesn't fear explosions
>talks on cell phone while driving and fueling, makes sure he is on speakerphone at max volume
>leaves flowing fuel unattended
>uses whatever octane rating he feels like, usually puts diesel in his gas car, he is used to shoving girthy objects into tight holes so it is only natural for him
>always tops off until fuel is shooting out all over the place
>puts out his cigarette in the puddle of gasoline on the ground even though he used diesel
>asks for a receipt but leaves it hanging out of the dispenser
>doesn't reset his trip odometer, it's always rolling over
>peels out of the gas station at full revs

Fuck I need to make this, don't have time right now.

I wonder how many retards you could actually bait into blowing up a gas station with that.

I was gonna add
Virgin:
>Always pumps into approved containers only
Chad:
>Fills up 50 gas cans while he is there to get the lowest price
>Pumps into any container he wants, even though it is a crime to pump into unauthorized containers

Ok this is actually pretty funny.

Looks like Tyler from fight club.

...

Is that Michael Weatherly?

Adolf Gritler was better.

Oh hey, I made this.

I once saw a guy riding a scooter one hand was holding his phone the a monster and he also had a cigarette in his mouth . Fucking hell I smoke but that was just retarded

Speaking of jokes.

>Milk

...

...

people are sick

alpha

note how it says “rot” which is technically not “rust”

[Insert joke about the Ghibli based on Doug DeMemo's review of it]

...

It looks like it's supposed to drive around mars

A young Val Kilmer?

...

>skid demon
what did we do to deserve Japan?

i dont speak mexican

where the hell is this that a convenience store puts the price of SKIM MILK on their sign?

This was actually a really common thing until maybe a few years ago. There was a Mac's Milk near me that always told drivers how much milk was selling for.

>tfw numale faggots don't drink real milk anymore
>tfw they just drink soy and almond milk
>tfw they tell you real milk is bad because of "muh hormones" in the milk
>when in reality they're a bigger pussy than anything milk could create with hormones

I didn't watch his video on it actually, it's just a shit car with a chopped quattroporte frame. It uses turn stalks from the 300 and it's just crap.

Whenever I see people drive one I just laugh, all that money spent for that crappy car. You could have just not been a brand sheep and gotten a nicely equipped E-class or Giulia QV.

I know an Indian couple who bought this and posted on FB about their "success", huge facepalm.

You have to admit, it's a pretty bare car that's overpriced. You're also buying the cheapest car in the brand which is another thing.

What's the cheapest Alfa you can get in the US?

The Giulia it's like 38k

No need to know foreign languages, you just be sure not to have an extra chromosome.

Wait a min, are you really defending the Ghibli? Alfa just came here with a few cars lmao. Maserati is shit, their cars look like ass.

Big ass rubber boot plugs don't protect from electric shock.

What I really want to know is what paradise has e85 for cheaper than 91 octane?

Well Sweden. 95 gas is like 15kr per liter while E85 is 10 per liter
Use brain to convert currency

but how would it look lowered and stanced

Its almost poetic.

Sign needs to be changed to read "Drive you Autism"

>tootel him with vigor
I am dying

You don't need an expensive lawyer too fight traffic tickets

...

First sentence of number 3 sounds like an ancient Chinese proverb, passed down from generation to generation by secretive Taoist monks.

who the fuck resets their trip odo? I don't even know how or why I would do it. what's the actual purpose of that shit?

Got a ride with a friend with a plug in hybrid, tells me he intentionally puts he car in sports mode to stop it from driving all electric and keep the gas engine on.

...